See Yourself Be Yourself

[6] Snack

The rain remained heavy as they pulled away from the apartment. If anything, it got even heavier. Misty grabbed the pink elephant out of the bag and hugged it to her chest. Brent used to do that a lot when Dina didn't even want to touch him.

She couldn't see the elephant with her boobs in the way, but when she looked from the side, she noticed that the poor thing was having its back broken by her bust. Repositioning the stuffed critter only buried it in a forest of softness. Nothing of her old habits fit anymore. She would have to adapt.

Lillis sighed and looked over. "I don't want to pressure you, but you need to document all of this. The moment that bitch shattered the crystal, it became a $100,000 legal case. I'll testify to whatever they need to know about what happened. But legal things take time. Especially if she wants to drag it out. I assume there was a deposit on the apartment. Breaking up with someone is never easy, especially on hostile terms, and dealing with the aftermath is something you never think about. Again, I don't want to stress you out, but I'll help you make a list of everything you need to do to come out the other side in the best possible way."

Misty took several deep breaths as she listened to this. The breaths didn't feel like they replenished her lungs. Elle/Lillis resumed the music where it had left off when they parked. Despite how much she was crushing the little elephant, she just pulled him tighter.

"Thank you," Misty replied automatically. Lillis smiled politely and told her, "Just glad to help. It's getting late, and I've been a lazy bum about groceries, so would you like to get something from a drive-thru place? My treat. Depends on the state of your stomach. Valerie might have some soup left, but she's not much of a soup person."

The prospect of eating felt so far away from Misty's thoughts. She remembered the sandwich in the times before, but it felt more like eons ago. The panicked sourness had calmed down, but she knew from times when she was sick that it wasn't a good idea to just grab something comforting or fatty. But she couldn't be picky.

"Valerie?" She didn't miss the quick mention of that name. For a moment, she wondered if she had misinterpreted a quick mart or something like it by name.

"That's my neighbor. She was my roommate for a time, but she wanted her own place so she could have a studio. Artist, among other things. She's really sweet and savory and covered in mozzarella. That probably doesn't make any sense. Oh well, you'll see. She'll have food, but would you like anything nearby?" Lillis gently rubbed the top of her head, where her brunette hair was parted and pulled into a ponytail.

Misty puzzled for a few moments, although Lillis assured her that her strange notes about Valerie would make sense later. After this puzzling, Misty fumbled her way through uncertain fragments of words. She declared that she was going to pay for all of this as a thank-you for everything Lillis had done. Her extra gratitude felt like delicate struts of newspaper waving in the wind.

"If you're sure you want to," Lillis replied. Misty wasn't sure about much, but she wanted to make a stand of hospitality. Poking around the Google Maps list of what was still open, there was an assortment of the usual suspects from the big chains. Lillis gleefully announced that Humberto's would be open for another thirty minutes. Misty recalled the name but hadn't tried it before. Lillis pressed a hand to her hair.

"They have the most comforting chicken enchilada soup. Not too much cheese, and lots of fresh vegetables. Queso fresco. A quesadilla or a slow-marinated taco, too, could be good. My little sister has to follow FODMAP for her tummy, so I know a few things that won't make your insides protest as much. Mexican food is not ideal, but I assume you live around here, so.. eh, we can try somewhere else. Up to you."

Misty set a hand on her hair in about the same way. Part of her expected that placing it there would reveal a looseness and allow her to remove this damp and overwhelming wig. But it was on her, inescapably. All the options Lillis laid out were kind and casual, not the pressing indictments or crushing scrutiny Dina always dropped. Still, it was more than she felt she could properly process. She was still thinking about the musical choice from before and what might've been a better call.

It had been a long time since she had had chicken enchilada soup. Some liquid to replace what she lost earlier sounded like a plan. Her tummy had been pulled taut like a tablecloth. And especially since her bathroom run, it felt clenched and squeezed into a practically impossible size. Thinking over the three general suggestions, Misty leaned more towards the soup but was also receptive to the idea of a small quesadilla. So, that's what she softly asked for. Lillis smiled and nodded as she checked her phone at a red light.

The storm hit a lull with a blasting splatter carried on the wind that blurred the window and didn't provide enough water to clear the glass without scuffing and squeaking. Misty managed to relax her shoulders and felt them pop as the tension she hadn't realized was there settled into the cushion. It helped, but she was still shivering, despite the insulation of the towel and the warm air circulating in the cabin.

As another idle afterthought hit her, Misty asked, her words almost swallowed up by the tangled dance of her tongue with too much spit, "Little sister?"

The brightest smile Lillis had yet shown traveled, infused, and spilled across her face. "Yup! My little sis, Lucy. Our parents really had some really interesting name quirks in mind. She's a vet tech right now, but she will have her own place someday. Guaranteed. Do you have any siblings?"

Misty would have loved to unfurl the rich tapestry of splendor for the Hollins family. But there was only her—him. Parents who lived in the Lake Tahoe area. An uncle who had long been a curious bachelor. An aunt who joined a religious cult had a series of daughters no one outside the group had ever seen. And that was it. A meager, worn stitch in a human tapestry.

Things were different now, but that didn't make her feel any more majestic. She looked pretty. He looked like this. His stomach commented with a long, distinct gurgle that felt like a private language, though she didn't know what it meant.

The local Mexican chain drive-thru was surprisingly busy for this hour, but the line moved swiftly. Lillis kept the music going, shifting to a more percussive track as she did a few things on her phone that Misty couldn't see. When they got to the speaker, 'Lillian' gave her name for the order. She only put down the window about two-thirds because of the splashing from the lighter but still continuous rain.

Misty rifled through her bags with her wallet and managed to fish out a decent amount of cash. She asked with as much determination as she could wrangle, "How much?"

Lillis grinned slyly. "My treat." Misty muttered and had a variety of complaints. Lillis just chuckled to herself. "Okay, okay. I promised you would pay me back. But we'll deal with that later. And this way I get bonus points, too." Misty pouted but accepted that.

At the pick-up window, protected by a small overhang, their orders were divvied up between two bags. Misty handled hers delicately, leaning forward. Her weight distribution was odd, but she corrected it carefully. She set the soup near the air circulation for warmth, but also carefully propped it up in a corner for the best balance. This provided support so that Lillis' stuff could nestle against it without wobbling. With her task completed, she glanced over to the window as she eased back into her seat.

The male worker in the blue and white polo shirt was looking right at her. And he wasn't meeting her eyeline. He was right below it. Her first thought was that maybe she had gotten some sauce on her shirt and needed to wipe it off. But looking down to check was exactly the reminder she didn't want. The faintest whimper escaped her mouth as she swung the towel around to provide more cover. Lillis looked back through the window with a fierce, admonishing scowl. The guy at the window quickly blurted out an apology and an offer of a free churro before Lillis snorted in contempt and drove away. She revved the engine before they left the drive-thru.

With the window back up, Lillis offered kind words to her companion. "You okay? What a jerk. I am so sorry you had to deal with that."

It had all happened so fast—so many things—that Misty didn't feel like she had processed the sequence of events, and yet Lillis had taken charge in a way she admired. She was so cool. If it had been her in Brent's shoes, he would never have been in this situation, and he would probably have seen through Dina much sooner and easier.

"Uh ah yeah, I'm okay. That sucked. But… Free churro. Maybe."

Lillis released a half giggle and advised, "Not worth your dignity. And I think that's their worst offering, especially with the oil sitting there all day. If he were really apologetic, he would have offered a free breakfast burrito. But forget that guy. Time to get home so you can enjoy everything as soon as possible."

The smells of everything mingling together already seeded a sense of therapeutic comfort. That persistent trembling that sometimes echoed through her body, concentrating on her legs and thighs, waned as the aroma made everything feel like a family meal somewhere friendly from an age ago.

She didn't grow up in that culture, but after school, they often went places with warm tortillas and crispy chips when it was a special occasion. Dina waxed at length about the risks of cultural appropriation when Brent spoke fondly of it. What the fuck did she know?

It seemed like less and less when she actually thought about their conversations, which left Brent finding ways to agree with her when he should have called her out for making such big deals out of nothing. It was weird to get internally heated about it, but it also felt kind of good. Not that it mattered, just arguments and possibilities that would probably never happen. Winning a point only in her head anyway.

The rain picked up again, and Lillis had to move the wipers to the second-highest setting. The regular, rapid swish was a frantic yet somehow relaxing version of a metronome. Misty gathered up the strands of her hair that had escaped being put back and regarded each warm, dense tendril. Blonde. So blonde. It would always be blonde.

Well, there were options. But considering how stubborn other aspects of her transformation were, she expected it to try to return to the baseline. To what she had been branded and punished with for no crime. Not a good thought to dwell on.

The hair looked objectively fine. He just didn't want it on him. And it was on the lowest rung and wrong of the things he didn't want. Focus on the soup. Focus on having it very soon.

The musical accompaniment had shifted to a track with a dramatic, chase-like flair. Lillis drove with a clear sense of caution and safety, but there was a little tint of fun, almost to the point of mania. Not to the level of one of her childhood favorites, The Wind in the Willows, with Toad and his car mania, but enough of a trace to stir that memory slightly. She also remembered unreasonably hating some of the animal groups.

It was a little fun, to be honest. Dina drove like a viper, wanting to lash out at everyone else on the road, and when Brent drove, she was focused instead on him and countless tiny criticisms. Lillis was in control but also free. The truck was like an extension of her hand, guiding and moving her from lane to lane and road to road. She could almost call it a dance, and though it made her slightly dizzy, it was a joy to shift, dip, and rise. They moved with a harmonious musicality.

The adventurous stretch settled down as Lillis pulled into an apartment complex. It was a newer-looking one, with bright, swarming lights perched across the parking lot, banishing the rain-filtered shadows. Lillis puffed through her nostrils as a long stretch of covered spots was already claimed by other residents. Stalking in circles, she finally found a spot half-sheltered by a small tree trying its best to catch the raindrops. With creeping defeat, Lillis slowly pulled in.

Rummaging around in the area behind her chair, Lillis pulled out a small-ish, bright blue umbrella that challenged the color of her eyes. "Take this. Go ahead with the food. I can use my towel, and we can trade off at the door."

Misty looked between the umbrella and her new friend, trying to put the pieces together so that she didn't have to get wet either. But the umbrella was so modest that she wasn't sure it would cover her full chest. Lillis leveled her gaze, and Misty went along with her plan.

They had to cross two sidewalk intersections before reaching a covered area that connected the apartment buildings. Misty didn't feel comfortable hurrying along in the shoes Lillis had gotten for her from the pocket dimension. She was worried about slipping or tripping and spilling all the food or getting soaked in the random puddles that formed from the roof runoff. Fortunately, she was able to dodge the worst of those dangers and make it to the door Lillis led her to. She passed off the umbrella, and Lillis unlocked the door and beckoned her inside.

Just through the threshold, so many faint and overwhelming aromas saturated her nose, mingling with the friendly sense of the still-warm food. It smelled like so many things at once—so many traces of a life she'd only gotten glimpses of. More than anything, with cheer and hope, it smelled like home.

[Welcome to the Seventh Book in the Cerberus Saga. Yup. We’re doing this. I never thought I would delve into such a big part of the backstory and this may be a good idea but I like writing about all sorts of characters. I have the ending of the story in mind already. But is it the ending you might expect from what you know now? We’ll see…Provisionally, I am focusing on one chapter a week and we’ll see how things go from there. They might be longer or shorter and more numerous. Always feel free to offer suggestions. Reader response is going to be very important going forward. I’m open to anything. Although the squirrel thing is probably the closest I’ll ever get to furry. I’m gonna have some fun and funny characters this time too. Dunno how long this will go. It might be much shorter due to the different pacing. I hope you enjoy it. I plan to get the earlier books together and released in an official form. Look forward to that hopefully. As always, vast details, especially types of characters, character names, and more are wide open for this narrative. Feel free to add any idea which doesn't show up in the eventual options. Also, if you see any random typos or uncapitalized starts of sentences, please pass them along. I am currently using Quillbot and DeepL to assist with speedy editing, but that’s not 100%. Thank you for reading!]

Poll after this. Since I've change the schedule, polls are more important than ever. Feel free to offer as much feedback as you can to help the story.