See Yourself Be Yourself

[8] Valerie

Psychologically, it felt most appropriate to position herself at the lowest pick. The least inconvenience to her host. The air mattress felt like the most she could ask for. But it would have to be dragged out, inflated, and set up. Using this couch would be good since she was already here and had everything she needed. The one upstairs sounded nicer, though, and she could just take all the stuff Lillis brought her there. She couldn't possibly ask her host to give up half her bed. That would be too much after everything else she had done for her. Maybe rolling some number generator on a website would be the best idea...

Before she could trace this series of thoughts to anything resembling a conclusion, there was a knock at the front door. The sound had a deliberate pattern that resembled a melody, but Misty couldn't figure out what it was. Lillis made a sound of recognition and stretched up from the couch to walk over to the hallway.

"Hey, Val. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I heard the delicious savory strings of pizza afoot. What's up?"

A light, animated voice somersaulted through the air as the static-filled crumble of raindrops surged through the opening. Poking their way out, a pair of wide, jewel-like jade eyes found Misty sitting there, stunned and silent.

"Hiya! I'm Valerie! I'm Pizza. I mean, I like pizza. What do you got there?" The rest of the girl came out in a blur, but line by line, as if shot out of the fastest old dot-matrix color printer. She couldn't remember if those kinds of printers actually did color, but she felt like she'd seen something about it online, though it might have been a hack. Still, inaccurate or anachronistic, the metaphor felt right as the girl deliberately ricocheted through the opening.

Valerie

She wore a blue hoodie with gray and white drawstrings the same way someone might indistinctly wear a tarp. A vast, puffy halo accented with black emphasized dark crescent moons of eyelashes that punctuated her green eyes. A messy mop of lightly cropped dark hair, a shade darker than Lillis's but still brighter than black, flopped and sprung, extending probing antennae feelers from her head.

The girl was short but not strikingly shorter than she was now, just a margin of error level of shortness. And she was gifted with only a subtle dent in the passage of her chest to distinguish her from androgyny, compared to Misty's mountainous feminine aberration. Though perhaps a hoodie like that would at least offer some downplaying, as Lillis had suggested earlier with other options.

Lillis chimed in with the answer, "Humberto's drive-thru. Guy at the window was skeeving us out. But my friend needed something to snack on since she was sick. This is…Misty. She's going to stay here for a bit and get her life together. It's a long story, and she should be the one to tell it."

Misty appreciated that Lillis didn't jump in and tell everything for her. And she wasn't sure how or if she could tell any version of how the day had gone for her, from casual expectations to shattered chaos. Her heart couldn't make sense of any of it.

The new girl's vast eyes somehow widened even more as she took in Lillis' explanation. "Wowser. That's sucky. Do you need anything? Want some pizza? Pizza makes everything better, even if it's just a teeny, tiny, little bitty slice." Valerie moved quickly and efficiently across the room, shedding her shoes and making her way to the far side of the couch, where she sat down with a friendly expression on her face, a little distance away from Misty, and began to unfurl the blanket Lillis had brought so that it was spread out.

Lillis chimed in. "Pizza isn't always the answer. Lucy, for example."

Valerie brought up a single finger. "She still needs to try alfredo, or garlic parm, or coriander pesto. She just needs to find the pizza that is meant for her and her heart. I know she can do it. Everyone has their pizza. How would you like this?"

Misty wasn't sure what the girl meant, but she turned her head a little, and then a lot more, and discovered that she had neatly spread the blanket over her area of the couch and prepared it to either wrap around or provide a cushion. The pillow was also precisely placed for neck support. Misty checked and replied that everything looked fine, but she wasn't sure where she was staying.

"You can stay with me!" Valerie proclaimed. She amended that initial excitement by noting, "Although I don't really have my bed set up yet. It's been five months, and I need to get around to it. There are a lot of really comfortable pillows everywhere, and not so many hard boxes. Not as many as there used to be. You're welcome to any spot. My studio has kind of a strong smell, but we can open the windows, I think. I haven't tried, but I'm sure they open. I haven't really passed out yet, so I haven't needed to clear the air. One of those little slimy things or one of those spray bottles usually does the trick." Lillis pressed her fingers to her forehead about halfway through.

Misty looked around at everyone and had a thought she didn't really want to indulge, that maybe Lillis often took in difficult strays, from the moody cat to this hyperactive oddity to her own situation. It was just a random thought.

Looking over at Lillis, Valerie wiggled her head and offered up, "One stick of my lucky bamboo is still flourishing." Misty hoped the girl hadn't tried to feed it pizza.

Lillis spread out a long breath with measured, attempted calm. "What about the other two?"

Making small sounds with her tongue, Valerie replied, "They're like several years old now. So one out of three isn't bad. You have a green thumb. A very rare quality. I just water it when I walk by. The mold has been a bit of a concern, though. One of them looks wrinkled and kind of wobbly. Another still looks like a stalk, and the third is a real trooper. And I don't know what that has to do with anything. Your friend is not a plant, and I promise she will be well taken care of as a guest. If she needs or wants to stay with me. I clean." Valerie crossed her arms over her chest and made that final note a hill she intended to die on.

"I'll stay here." Misty didn't feel good about shooting the new girl down so decisively, but she tried to soften it with a pleasant look.

Valerie dipped her head with a sigh and nodded softly. "Kay... no worries. I'll get my first guest one day!" She finished her words with a perky smile. Her little rollercoaster ride from glum to cheerful surprised Misty but made her feel a little less bad about answering like that.

Some people bounce back much faster and easier. It would be nice to learn that kind of indomitable spirit, but for now, she would be content to cultivate a small trace of it. Or figuring out the next thing to say.

Fortunately, Lillis kept in charge. "Do you literally want to stay right here on the couch? Is it comfortable enough for you? Do you need anything else?"

Questions. So many questions to deal with. Had she missed any before this most recent set? If she...he had, then surely one of them would point it out to him. "I haven't decided yet. This place is really nice, but I don't know. Maybe after I've finished my snack?" That served a question back, but there would always be more.

Lillis's phone made faint chirps. She checked her messages but focused on Misty's response first. "Up to you. It's all up to you. I'm just here to help. Not to pile the responsibility on you, but just to reaffirm that all the crap you had to deal with today will get better. Your life is your life, and whatever that means is totally up to you. Whatever you need help with, I'll do what I can, and I know Valerie feels the same way, although I wish she'd pay more attention to certain things."

Some of those phrasings seemed a little strange when Misty heard them, but she also understood that Lillis was trying to be vague about personal matters until the full, adequate explanation emerged for Valerie.

The cat made an irritated noise, and Valerie piped up, "Tara! Don't be mean! It's just me and a new friend!" Misty definitely felt like she would have to gravitate toward something upstairs if the cat had domain down here. She shouldn't let herself be ruled by a cat, just as it should have been a partnership with Dina instead of being ruled by all sorts of things that ended up hurting... him instead. So much that should have and could have felt deeply frustrating. But it didn't happen. All she could... he could really make a difference about now was the now.

"Do you mind sharing the bed? I kind of want to go with the bed option. If that's not too much."

After finishing with the message on the phone, Lillis smiled eagerly. "I just have to tidy it up, but that's great. I didn't know if you wanted your own spot or more privacy. We'll make it work so you feel as comfortable as possible. Glad that's settled. And I have something else. I got a couple of messages from a friend of a friend. They have a game night blended with a geek meetup. I don't know how you feel about socializing in the current state of things. But these are some of the nicest people you'll ever meet. Big nerds. End of the week. That might be too soon for you emotionally with everything else but think about it."

That was a lot. Misty liked other people, and several years ago he was getting close to feeling more like a butterfly until Dina curated his friend group into those who were amenable to her. It wasn't a bad group. Many of them were much better than Dina. Though the best ones Dina complained about and shunned.

Valerie sat up with curious eyebrow wiggles. "Is this the mutual friend that I know through a friend? Elisha?"

Lillis rubbed her eyes, resisting a yawn, as she straightened her back. "Yup. The big drama geek. I was trying to wrap my head around this idea that she and Prentiss were mulling over. They called it 'the company' or something like that. All lowercase letters. At first, I thought it was one smashed-together word or short for theater company. I didn't really get it. It kind of freaked me out. Unexplored applications for the nanoparticle."

Misty perked up, softly wondering if such avenues might allow her to find a way to restore her original body without the crystal. Lillis shared a hopeful expression, but it sounded like she wasn't getting her hopes up too high, noting, "It could turn into a business venture, an art project, a game, or who knows what with those two. I wouldn't put much faith in it. Sorry for bringing it up. Oh, shoot, stuff is getting cold. Let's worry about that, and if you want to watch some Netflix. And I know what Valerie will say we should watch." They scooted together on the couch.

Lillis looked like she was going to follow Valerie's words, but she raised her hands in concession and let the girl pronounce her suggestion on her own.

"Chef's Table: Pizza...sadly, only a limited series. It's amazing… It's art. It's up to you, but that's what I would recommend."

Misty giggled naturally, without malice, but worried that the girl sitting next to her would take offense. But she wasn't Dina, and neither was Lillis. Saying that her ex... his ex was thin-skinned would be too kind. The… angry word... bitch was controlling, destructive, cruel, and she wanted to defeat him like he was some bad thing final boss that she had to destroy.

But he survived… She survived, and this was life. Their life. And she wasn't going to be a sad sack of passive nothing. She wasn't quite sure what she was going to be, but there were so many possibilities in front of her. First, finish those tacos.

The cast so far. Valerie is above.

 
Lillis/Elle/Lillian Ellender Shaw

Misty/Brent Hollins

Prentiss and Elisha to come. Check the Glossary for updates on characters. 

[Welcome to the Seventh Book in the Cerberus Saga. Yup. We’re doing this. I never thought I would delve into such a big part of the backstory and this may be a good idea but I like writing about all sorts of characters. I have the ending of the story in mind already. But is it the ending you might expect from what you know now? We’ll see…Provisionally, I am focusing on one chapter a week and we’ll see how things go from there. They might be longer or shorter and more numerous. Always feel free to offer suggestions. Reader response is going to be very important going forward. I’m open to anything. Although the squirrel thing is probably the closest I’ll ever get to furry. I’m gonna have some fun and funny characters this time too. Dunno how long this will go. It might be much shorter due to the different pacing. I hope you enjoy it. I plan to get the earlier books together and released in an official form. Look forward to that hopefully. As always, vast details, especially types of characters, character names, and more are wide open for this narrative. Feel free to add any idea which doesn't show up in the eventual options. Also, if you see any random typos or uncapitalized starts of sentences, please pass them along. I am currently using Quillbot and DeepL to assist with speedy editing, but that’s not 100%. Thank you for reading!]

Poll after this. Since I've change the schedule, polls are more important than ever. Feel free to offer as much feedback as you can to help the story.