See Yourself Be Yourself

 

[57] Tender Parts

With three of them in the truck, they qualified for the toll lanes between Ontario and Glendora.

When they arrived, Valerie practically pressed her nose to the window as they slid past a comic shop and a bookstore before parking in front of a majestic lingerie place with garish colonnades out front. Valerie gave a little growl at the architecture, which Misty could barely hear. She explained, “I had a nightmare involving them once. So I randomly have my characters scowl at fancy column ornaments like that.” Misty smiled, and Lillis didn’t say anything.

In the little patio area off to the side in front of a sandwich shop, Dawn and Tracy sat together. Dawn immediately noticed the three of them and raised her arm to wave, but she bumped the umbrella above her, making it rattle and ring. After steadying it, she laughed to herself and welcomed them. To their right, next to the sandwich shop, was an odd patch of fake green turf with little ornamentation, like a section of a miniature golf course spilled onto the footpath.

Valerie got her own personal greeting from both Tracy and Dawn, while Misty received a set of big hugs. Fumbling with her hands, Valerie took a quick breath, hugged Dawn and Tracy in quick succession, and received return embraces.

It was Vivi’s turn when she arrived soon after them. She clung to the round of hugs and especially lingered with Misty. Lillis contributed quick contact. May initiated hugs but treated each as perfectly perfunctory. And Elisa demolished all decorum, seizing Vivi with excitement and glee. Vivi looked half dizzy afterward.

“I’ve never… properly. I haven’t been to a store like this. Is there… anything I should know?” Vivi spoke up, her words undulating as if they were hiding behind an invisible curtain, afraid that if they poked out too much, they might disturb something delicate in the air.

Dawn reassured her. “Just a normal clothing store. The attendants are very nice. I brought a friend’s daughter who uses a wheelchair, and they made her feel so warmly accepted. They’re very accommodating.”

Vivi softly squeaked, “Oh. Okay,” before squeezing her hands in front of her. Elisa relayed her ambitions for a red satin tango evening dress for the possibility of dance classes with Prentiss. The group slowly made their way toward the lingerie shop, lingering to test the grip of the weird turf in front of the golf shop. Vivi and Valerie hung back, casting looks toward the bookstore as Misty smiled at them.

Then came a scream.

Misty only caught bits and pieces after the fact, but Vivi had her phone out to check for a book Valerie mentioned, and her foot snagged on a glossy patch of fake grass. She immediately pitched forward, arms and knees exposed. Confusion mounted as Misty thought she saw a black velvet cushion flash beneath Vivi, breaking her fall even as Valerie dashed in to cushion their friend with her own body. Sore groans passed from both girls, with Vivi softly whimpering as she reached out a shaky hand to rescue her phone.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, so sorry. Oh, Val. Are you okay?”

Valerie softly grunted and muttered, “Seems easier when I imagine Katsumi doing it.”

Vivi blinked in confusion until Valerie explained, “Story character.”

Even with only half a breath left, Vivi asked with wonder, "You write?"

The other girls weren’t far behind, hurrying to their side. Tracy arrived first, with Misty right after her and Lillis close behind. Elisa and May positioned themselves near Vivi’s legs and waited for instructions. Dawn already had a first-aid bag out of her purse and passed it to Tracy.

Several of them worked together to gently ferry Vivi to the nearest seat, though they briefly debated folding down the back seats of Dawn’s vehicle to give her a flat surface for rest and assessment. Vivi said she could walk, but her knees shifted slowly.

She had bright red, non-bleeding abrasions on the fronts of her knees and on her right forearm. Her left thumb was rough with bruising, and the digit quivered when she tried to move it. Valerie was the next to be moved gently, and Misty made sure she anchored that trip. Valerie grimaced but acquiesced. She didn’t seem to have any visible scratches or bruising, but Tracy checked her over all the same. Misty also saw no sign of the black velvet cushion she could have sworn had been thrown. She was tempted to bring it up, but she wasn’t entirely sure she had seen it at all. Since no one else asked, she kept it to herself and focused on making sure her friends were comforted.

Vivi held her phone in a trembling hand and lamented, "It's brand new and I treated it this way. I'm so sorry. Valerie. I'm sorry I made trouble."

Awkwardly but gently, Valerie pulled her into a hug. "No trouble. It's okay, friend."

That brought a fresh wave of tears from Vivi, and she hugged Valerie back with surprising firmness.

Tracy assessed both of them as best she could with her limited resources. She cleaned the scrapes, wrapped what she could, and assigned a support partner to each girl. Elisa volunteered herself for Vivi. Misty insisted that she and Lillis take turns supporting Valerie. May cleared the way and apologized when she accidentally grazed Misty’s boob while opening the door. Misty hadn’t even noticed, but she assured her it was fine.

Because of Elisa’s usual energy, Misty worried she might rush ahead with Vivi, but Elisa kept her pace slow and was surprisingly gentle as she guided her to the door. Fortunately, the store had an empty sofa near the front where both girls could take a minute and properly let their stinging, tender parts recover.

The nearest clerk met the group, quickly took in the situation, and assured them they could take as long a breather as they needed. She even offered to bring water from the break room. Valerie tested, cleaned, and fussed over Vivi’s phone with the wipes Dawn offered while Tracy checked both of them over again.

Vivi softly apologized to the phone again when a tiny, almost imperceptible scuff revealed itself as Valerie tilted it beneath the sharp fluorescent lights. It was only on the screen protector. Valerie tried to brush it away, but it remained. Leaning delicately into the cushion, Vivi assured her it was fine. Valerie supported her shoulder and passed the phone back.

Setting her phone aside, Vivi wouldn’t let go of her questions about Valerie’s writing. Valerie stalled as long as she could before giving a clear answer, glancing at everyone in turn.

Misty spread her arms and encouraged the rest of the group. “Let’s let them recover. Have some air. Oh, that looks cool over there. Where are the minimizers?” It took some effort, but the other girls began to spread out, still checking on their friends while giving them space and privacy.

Elisa peeled away on her risqué dress hunt. Dawn shepherded Misty toward the primary quest garments, while Tracy headed for the sports bras and May and Lillis drifted toward the clearance display.

Soon, Misty found herself surrounded by a soft blizzard of terms, styles, and possibilities. She resisted dissociating, mostly because Dawn kept the details simple. None of these bras were miracle workers. She accepted that right away. One, maybe two, cup sizes less. A cleaner silhouette.

Band size first. She at least knew that from her little excursion with Lillis. This clerk was far more helpful about the possibilities, the unfamiliarity, and the wiggle room. She didn’t question why. She just worked with them to build a repertoire of comfortable options.

At first, Misty shrugged at the lacy options, though certain ones did linger in her thoughts even when they didn’t seem the most comfortable. But comfort was paramount.

They focused on colors that would stay subtle under her white uniform top and not clash with her usual preferences. In the lonely quiet of the changing room, Misty took in the little posted affirmations scattered around the small space. Find your fit. We’re here to help. Even at closer range than those looming umbrellas, the words still felt emotionally distant.

Her right tit complained about the undressing even though she hadn’t hit the ground. Her stomach lodged a protest too. Putting the minimizer on was no harder than any other bra. The color almost matched her skin tone. Slipping a feminine lavender top over it gave her a modest crease of cleavage and an obvious shape, but not as obvious as usual. Not an overwhelming outline.

This body didn’t feel reshaped, but the softer profile settled a stressful pinging she hadn’t realized was there. She could deal with this. Still bigger than anyone else in the group, but less of a standout. Then the lightest knock brushed against the wooden door.

When Misty opened the door, Vivi was leaning against the opposite wall of the hallway.

“Are you okay?”

Misty tugged at the hem of her top to straighten it. “Yeah, of course. What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing. You look so pretty. I probably look like I got beat up.” Vivi offered a wary smile.

Misty urged her into the changing room. There wasn’t much space for both of them, but enough for Vivi to perch for a moment. Her knees, where the bandages didn’t cover enough, still flared bright red when she adjusted her pleated navy-blue skirt. The bruises on her arm were obvious.

“You look lovely,” Misty said, crouching closer to Vivi. “And you stumbled, but you got back up.”

Vivi let out a soft sigh. “I suppose so.”

Misty shifted until she found the least uncomfortable patch of floor to crouch on. “Vivi? You okay?”

“Thank you for giving me that name. Everyone at work seems way more attached to it than they ever were to Verity. I guess I’m no good at picking names…” Her eyes flicked up to meet Misty’s.

Several clashing thoughts collided in Misty as she tried to work out what Vivi was implying. Before they could stitch together, she hesitantly offered, “Verity is pretty.”

Vivi tried to rest her head against the wall, but it rattled, and she winced. After a breath, she said, “I read the name in a book, way before I was old enough to understand it. I got stuck on it.”

Misty scooted toward Vivi. “I had to register my name with a local newspaper as part of the government process. It happened fast. I just have to wait until it’s officially approved, but it’s provisional because of… my situation.”

Vivi shut her eyes. “I was lucky. No newspaper posting. I just petitioned the county court and waited.” Her voice barely rose above a whisper. Misty gently squeezed her hand.

“As for my situation, I always knew who I was, even if I didn’t have a name for it. I was also lucky with my parents. They accepted me. They listened and fought hard for me to get on puberty blockers. It was still a journey. Every moment, I doubted myself and fought myself so hard, even though my truth felt certain. Like, what if I just screw myself up? What if I turn out ugly, or a freak? What if everyone knows and they hate me? What if…”

Misty gently wrapped her arms around Vivi. She stayed there while Vivi cried into her shoulder.

After a minute, Vivi wiped her eyes. “You being here. The others being here. It makes this so much less scary. I just got done wandering the racks like they were museum pieces. I’ve only ever ordered online. And even that was terrifying.”

Misty kept her smile and held Vivi’s hand tenderly. “I want you to have fun here. I don’t want you stressed out. You should try something on. Only if you want to. But I know it’ll look great on you.”

The beginnings of so many answers swirled in Vivi’s mouth until she took one sharp breath and said, “I had everything done. So you don’t have to worry about that. Sorry. That’s more than I should say.”

Misty shook her head. “Whatever you’re comfortable sharing. You’re so beautiful.”

Vivi squeaked and looked at the floor. “No one has ever said that to me. Or if they did, the words sailed over me. But I feel it from you. I’m gonna go confront those clothes and show them who’s boss. Could you not mention what we talked about to the others?”

Misty gave her most solemn vow of secrecy. Vivi touched her eye and invoked a Pinkie Pie promise, which she immediately brushed off even as red flooded her cheeks. Misty didn’t understand the reference, but she touched her eye to match Vivi’s gesture.

Getting up from the little platform, which was meant more for resting clothes than people, Vivi paused long enough to catch her reflection. “Recently, Elisa said I would look really cute in just an oversized T-shirt. Aaaaa… uh, I don’t know, but it might be fun to try. Aaaaa… screw it, I’m gonna go find the… bra for me!”

Vivi was ready to storm out of the room and go hunting her prey, but she had to gingerly brace herself against the wall with Misty’s help just to stand. Elisa soon showed up and helped her the rest of the way.

Back in the changing room, Misty tried on a polo similar to her work uniform. She flinched at the first thought that she looked normal. Her breasts were still a sharply defining feature, but the looming, practically excessive quality had eased. In this top, she cut the shape of a busty woman rather than a pair of breasts with a girl somewhere behind them. A small difference, but one that helped her feel more like a person than a show. The balanced support also made her shoulders and back sing with little tingles, like they could finally relax.

A mix of darker colors and a ribbed Henley gave her a surprisingly fashionable, almost preppy version of herself. Interesting in theory, but not her style. A cardigan more in Vivi’s lane spoke an entirely different language on her body, mostly in cliché slasher-victim strings. Athletic layers and a hoodie pushed her firmly into Lillis territory.

Several combinations in, she could feel a growing appreciation for trying on clothes. She was after clarity, like wielding a telescope of self-image that kept blurring the moment she thought she had it in focus. Each new look introduced some fresh nuance she had to consider. Comfort and discomfort tussled back and forth, along with a vague soreness despite not falling.

Probably hunger. Or tension. Or that thing creeping up on her. She paused to stretch and check on the other girls.

After some hesitancy, Vivi let her peek at her experiment. Misty’s thought before thinking was how much Vivi looked like an adventurous video game character. The subtle bruises only reinforced the image. Unfortunately, she also said that aloud, which spooked her friend.

“It’s too much. I think I see hairs over here on my legs. My hips are not that great. This white top could probably pop open at any minute and totally destroy me.” The khaki jacket sprawled open over a soft, lace-up corset-like blouse that left a sizable midriff bare. It was a bit like one of Misty’s own try-ons, but far more exposed. Vivi did concede, tapping one fake-leather boot against the floor, “I kind of like the boots though.”

Misty helped Vivi peel out of those clothes while she sat there topless in her underwear. Vivi made sure the door was closed but didn’t stress much beyond that. Gradually, she returned to the comfortable range of her regular outfit.

“It’s worth trying, but they would probably throw me out of the library for lasciviousness. I also like knitting many of my clothes. It’s not always cheaper, but I understand them. I can fix them if there’s a problem, and they feel more like a true extension of me.”

Vivi smiled lightly as she braced herself to stand again. Then she added that there were a few outfits discounted by ninety percent that she wanted to check out. Misty made sure Vivi could get over there on her own, then went looking for Valerie.