When Seven Clouds woke up on the couch the next day, he found that he was being tended to by a panda. The panda seemed to be wiping his sore body down with a cloth, squeezing black liquid into a bucket. Looking down, he could see that most of his clothes were removed, his drawers the only sign of dignity left.
"Wh... did you take off all my clothes?!" Seven Clouds pulled a sheet close to himself on the couch, and Treasure frowned.
"Not all of them, although Sir's sisters seemed to insist I take off more than I had. But Sir must be respected." Treasure leaned forwards, wiping down Seven Clouds and removing another layer of black grease. "I will have to ask for consent before cleaning..."
Treasure's eyes drifted to Seven Clouds, and then down at his drawers. Seven Clouds hesitated, but shook his head. "I can handle it from here."
"If that is what Sir wishes." Treasure scooped up the bucket of black sludge, walking for the door. "I will take this corruption back to the Boss to be disposed of."
"I was about to ask what this black gunk is." Seven Clouds frowned. "What's this corruption? Why is it leaking out of my body?"
"Sir's body has to make room for the ichor that runs through your veins." Treasure nods. "So you excrete your blood as a black liquid. With it, out come Sir's impurities. Pollution, unhealthy diets, death and," Treasure let out a tired yawn. "Mutated cells inside Sir's organs that have metastasized."
"...the smoke escaping from my lungs?" Seven Clouds pointed at the fog building in his ceiling. It was a good thing he was too cheap to have a fire alarm in the house.
"From Sir's terrible smoking habits." Treasure closed his eyes. "Sir should keep in mind that their body is a temple. Everything that goes in must one day leave the body. If they do not control themselves, then their impurities will build once more."
"I don't want to go through that again." Seven Clouds furrowed his brow. "I guess I should care more for my own health."
"Sir should. I do not mind showing Sir how to do so, nor would I mind helping Sir to prepare healthy meals." Treasure opened the door to the wide outside. "While I am gone, Sir should try to take a shower. Use a scrubbing brush to finish the process that their body has begun."
"Showers are expensive." Seven Clouds frowned. "Will Drunk Witch cover the expense?"
"...no. But I will." Treasure nodded. "Do not fear spending money. Together, we will make plenty of money, and much more happiness for the world. I will see you later, Sir." Treasure plodded out the door, careful with the bucket of black liquid.
"Ichor." Seven Clouds sighed. He felt around for the black sheet, prying himself off the sticky couch. He would have to replace that... or so he thought. Watching in fascination, he could watch as the corruptive fluid spread across the couch. Now that he was no longer in contact with it, it felt free to transform.
His blood and impurities seemed to be warping the furniture, the wood polishing itself and growing horns. The fabric turned from a beige wool into a red velvet for each of the cushions, and the wood begins to grow into a darker shade until both it and the wooden horns are jet black.
"It looks like a couch off the set of a movie." Seven Clouds paced the couch, feeling it with a sticky finger. "So this is what corruption does to the environment. Some sort of concentrated and demonic pollution."
Seven Clouds looked for his clothing next, lifting them up. More corruption had stained these, and warped them into a black trenchcoat, a crimson dress shirt and a pair of black pinstripe pants. Even his ratty looking sneakers had become deep black and shiny boots. "They'd make me look like a Triad member."
Instead of taking a shower, Seven Clouds tried to smear more of this grease on different things around the house. He figured it was in short supply; there was only so much blood in his body, most of it replaced by this ichor that Treasure was talking about.
Excitedly, he went to the bathroom and felt for his toothbrush. His mouth was filled with a yellow liquid that came out in globs of spit. Cleaning his mouth out and examining his now shiny white teeth, he could see his toothbrush changing and shifting into a thin rod with a star on the end. Some kind of fairy wand?
Next, his sink began to change and shift. This shift was less desirable. Becoming a black onyx sink with golden flecks of mica wasn't the issue; the sink itself was stylish and fashionable. The issue was what happened when he turned on the sink; blood poured out of the faucet, running into the drain.
Seven Clouds was much more careful about his remaining experiments. "Rule number one: don't mess with anything essential to life." Seven Clouds stuck an 'out of order' post-it note to the sink, in case one of his sisters tried to use the blood fountain. They could use the sink in the kitchen if they needed to brush their teeth or wash their hands.
"It seems like the corruption warps things to make them magical, but turns them into evil counterparts." Seven Clouds sat down on a stool, covered in nothing but a towel. "The sheet I was wearing became a cape with teeth as soon as I took it off."
"Hey, whom you callin' evil?" The cape, on the other hand, talked back to Seven Clouds. He froze, turning his head to see the cape floating, all on its own. "Listen, pal, just because I'm the [Blood-Drinker Cape] doesn't mean I don't have feelings!"'
"Did my sheet just talk?" Seven Clouds tilted his head, countenance twisted.
"Hey! Who said anything about being your sheet, bub?"
