Jack had learned a new power.

 

 

 

He was trying to make an account on Redcord when he realized he'd have to give his phone number to register. He didn't want to have this account traced back to his phone, so he wasn't sure how to handle it. After spending a great deal of time trying to figure out how to get a fake account, he came across a story about a guy who could directly access Wi-Fi with his mind. Jack wondered how hard it would be to imitate.

 

The answer was, not at all.

 

He started by using his adjustable touch sense to "read" the computers in the internet lounge of the motel. Once he got an idea of how it worked, he managed to imitate how Wi-Fi worked and got access to the internet in his head. He tried using it to make phone calls, but apparently, cellular phones were beyond him. He suspected that all the phones were registered in a way that made tracking easier. The more he looked into this world, the more he came to the conclusion that Big Mother was watching EVERYTHING. This rankled him on a fundamental level, but on the other hand, when you have a planet where about one out of ten thousand people are walking, talking, tactical nukes, you too might want to keep track of people. However, with Jack's mental Wi-Fi and some experience from his old life, he did a fairly good job spoofing up an account for his Angel persona. It involved 'borrowing' the motel's fax line for an hour. Alas, the name Angel was already taken, so eventually he settled on Angelicane. 

 

As it would turn out, it was prophetic for he was the center of the perfect storm.

 

It had been a mere twelve hours since his little skirmish with Toady Troll and yet the entire Redcord chat site was abuzz about him. #WhoIsThisAngel was trending on Tweeter. People had taken pictures of him and short movie clips. Apparently, it wasn't illegal to be topless in Empire City, although it still was in parts of the country. It was socially unacceptable, especially when said half-naked man was handsome.

 

There were threads upon threads about how terrible it was that he shamelessly flew around without a shirt on. 'Think of the children!' They would type. Other threads were defending him and claiming that the first threads were just trying to slut shame him. Yet more threads were all about the memes. He was labeled the superhero, Half-Naked Man. Already people were being treated to short cartoons and comics of Half-Naked Man showing up and saving the days with THE POWER OF NIPPLES! This resulted in several accounts getting banned from tweeter, which in turn spawned a slew of videos about big tech censorship. Jack had to admit, the part where Half-Naked Man's true power was revealed when he got a power-up and became Totally Naked Man was quite funny.

 

Jack would have doubled over laughing if it wasn't so serious.

 

Eventually, politicians got involved. Never let a good crisis go to waste, as they say. Meninists came out in droves and claimed that any slander against Angel was just the matriarchy trying to oppress men. On FaceSpace they were organizing a protest called a 'Slut Walk' where men planned on marching without wearing shirts to bring attention to the oppression of men. Some local city officials started talking about passing laws against indecent exposure and how he needed your money to make it happen. Another politician started talking about how they needed your donations to protect men's rights and prevent such laws.

 

Jack was wondering what the fuck was in the water to make everyone in the city INSANE.

 

He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling for a while, "Things weren't this bad back in the normal world... I think." He rubbed his face, sat up, then went to the bathroom. He cleaned up a bit and stared at himself in the mirror, "How the hell am I oppressed?" He snapped his fingers and closed his eyes. It took a minute to log in to Redcord. He quickly rattled off a quick DM to Ivy_League.

 

To: Ivy_League

From: Angelicane

RE: Remember Me?

I accidentally teleported into your room and then you tied me up and then you did something with your mouth in the bathroom and I thought that was a lot of fun. Can I come by again? You're neat!

 

He thought about the email in his mind's eye, ~Yeah, that sounds like an email from a naive angel from another planet. I shouldn't ham it up too much, but I doubt she'll get suspicious.~ He mentally 'clicked' send and waited a few minutes. There was no reply. He eventually decided that perhaps he needed another account for Jack, and logged out mentally. He proceeded to set up a 'real' account for Jack Cooper. Which he called, JackCooper1992, ~That sounds like an account from a lame nobody.~ Then proceeded to start posting from his phone. He proceeded to actively badmouth Angel, ~I shall be your greatest nemesis, Angel! No one will suspect we are the same by how much I hate you for your non-traditional ways and how you are destroying America through your moral degeneracy!~ Jack paused to actually throw his head back and laugh out loud in an evil fashion.

 

That was when he heard a knock at his door.

 

He paused, turned off his phone, and went to the door. Peering through the peephole, he saw Myrtle. Jack pulled away, shrugged, then opened the door, "Oh hey." He leaned against the door frame, "What brings you by?" Myrtle was back to her old, dehydrated proportions. Dull brown hair and a bean pole frame, but with a halfway decent face. Jack glanced her up and down and remarked to himself that Ivy looked a bit more... cartoonish than Myrtle. The woman before him seemed more... real.

 

She also seemed a tad bit drunk.

 

She gave Jack a sly smile and a little hand wave, "Hi. I quit my job this morning."

 

Jack blinked, "Oh? I'm... sorry? Or is it congratulations?" Jack looked concerned.

 

Myrtle shrugged, "A bit of both. I just couldn't stand working there anymore. And because I'm almost broke, I thought I was going to have to go back home and give up any thought of making it here in the city, BUT..." She took a deep breath, "I had an odd stroke of luck this afternoon and I'm reconsidering things."

 

Jack nodded, "Ah. You got lucky, eh?"

Myrtle snorted and covered her mouth. She grinned devilishly as she replied, "Well, yeah. You could say that." She then stepped closer, moving into Jack's personal space while looking up at him, "So I figured, why not go next door and ask you out?" She shrugged, "See if my luck holds."

 

Jack raised his eyebrows, "Wait. You have no job, no prospects, no money, and you want to ask me out on a date?"

 

She nodded and let out a long, drawn-out, "Yuuuuup." She moved an inch closer and continued to smile at him.

 

He looked off into the distance for a few seconds before returning her stare, "Sure."

 

She nodded, "I understand. But you can't blame-" She cut herself off, "I'm sorry. What did you say?"

 

Jack leaned in closer, "I'm a victim of an inter-dimensional abduction. They can't send me home so I'm stuck here. I don't know anyone, so, yes. I'd love to go on a date with you." He thought for a bit, "How's Friday sound? I should be free by three."

 

She stared up at Jack for a few moments, then nodded once, "Uh... yeah? Yeah! Three on Friday! That works for me."

 

Jack grinned, "So it's a date." He looked off to the side then leaned in closer to whisper in her ear, "Is your luck holding?"

 

She backed up a step with a smirk, "Mmm... I'm thinking so. We'll see Friday, won't we?" She turned to walk back to her apartment, "See ya Friday, Jack." While waving back at him over her shoulder.

 

Jack blinked at her abrupt end of the conversation, then gave her a little wave, "Friday it is." He stepped back inside his apartment and closed the door. He contemplated what that was all about and if his encounter with her as Angel had anything to do with her sudden personality change. She certainly seemed more confident than in their previous encounters. While thinking about this, he heard someone exclaim through the thin paper wall separating his and her room.

 

 

"YAHOO!"