Jack stopped walking as he started coughing violently.

 

 

---

 

Jack didn't understand he was from a world that enjoyed the benevolent protection of the atomic bomb. No. Seriously. In Jack’s world everyone was so horrified by nuclear weapons that nobody dared use them, which brought about a form of stalemate that resulted in an unparalleled era of peace and prosperity. Yeah, there were some proxy wars, but nothing major. This only worked because there were no effective counters to nuclear weapons. In reverse world, not only were there counters to nukes, but counters to the counters. Like a very deadly game of rock-paper-scissors, something existed that could trump just about whatever super weapon someone developed. The counter just wasn’t always available when it was needed. Hell, there were people who were LIVING NUKES.

 

GooHoo search 'The Hitchcock Disaster' for details about the tragic end of Nukarella.

 

This led to more than one organization saying to itself, ‘I bet we could get away with… X’ and you can just fill 'X' with just about anything that pops into your head. Genocide, stealing land, cornering the market on Beanie Babies, you name it, if it could be fought over, it was. However, this privatization of war led to an unexpected boon. Many countries were so swamped with internal conflicts, they stopped fighting each other. There were bigger fish to fry and many governments saw the benefits to keeping a lid on things. Especially after what happen in north Africa and south-western Asia.

 

The balkanization of the region, ranging from most of northern Africa up to the border of India resulted in the creation of a few hundred micro-states. The place became a geopolitical nightmare, but for the most part was contained. However, the same problems that happened there would arise in other countries from time to time. America had several brushes with the same problem and at least twice came close to breaking up, but unlike the other side of the world, they had far more social cohesion. When times are tough, people are willing to put their differences aside for survival.

 

This still led to a number of ‘border conflicts’ over the decades. Across the globe there are quite a number of hot spots where problems flare up on a regular basis. You might think to yourself, ‘Well, just send in the Caretakers.’ And yes they could handle a hot spot or two. But three? Five? Twenty? And what about the next one that pops up while they aren’t home? Even if they wanted to be the world police, the truth was the mere threat of the Caretakers coming into a region got the job done about eighty percent of the time.

 

The other twenty percent wasn't often worth it.

 

The problem was when the caretakers did commit their forces, it made the caretakers seem more 'mundane'. The myth of the Caretakers was far stronger than the Caretakers themselves. You need to understand that there are many many many caretakers. They are a sort of franchise. The quality of the team assigned to a problem could vary... dramatically.

 

In the end, every time the caretakers took to the field and actually fought, their reputation got hurt, if it wasn't an overwhelming, one-sided stomping. The problem was, All-Star and Wonder Guy could only be in one place at a time. Over time, The Caretakers determined it was far more economical to perform short, lightning strikes and get out. The longer a conflict went on, the more likely another disaster would crop up, and the more likely the mission might end in failure. Every failure weakened the myth of the Caretakers being unstoppable and makes it that much harder to keep the eighty percent in line. So the Caretakers embraced a simple principle, one shared with Jack:

 

An ounce of image was worth a pound of performance

 

Since The Caretakers couldn't be everywhere, and they needed to keep their image, it became prudent to break up the Caretakers. The best of the best stayed with the Caretakers and everyone else formed their own organizations. The result was the current situation as it exists today, the privatization of the military into quasi-official units called superhero teams. Most societies pumps billions into propaganda and subsidies to make these girls exemplars of society. Everyone looks up to the capes. Why?

 

So starry-eyed kids can sign up to become yet more meat for the grinder.

 

As horrible as this all sounds, what else were they going to do? I mean, for every person who comes up with a sexually transmitted cure for AIDS, there are three other nut jobs trying to weaponize the deep fat fryers in every McBurger franchised fast-food restaurant and turn said fryers into rampaging killer robots.

 

 

Just because they didn’t get tartar sauce on their fish sandwich.

 

---

 

It took a minute for Jack to recover. Ivy looked worried the whole time. He shook his head as if to clear it, "Four. Eight? FORTY EIGHT? That-That's... North Korea Levels!"

 

She blinked, "North Korea? Like... there's a SOUTH Korea?"

 

Jack nodded, then abruptly covered both his eyes and rubbed them with the palms of his hands, "Shit. Just shit. Fuckin' shit what the FUCK? Why is none of this on the internet???"

 

Ivy reached up to gently take Jack's hands and slowly pulled them down. She looked him in the eye, "Because bad news is scrubbed from the internet on an hourly basis. Because things are bad. Really bad. All the time bad. The only way to keep society from falling apart is to lie to everyone and keep morale up no matter what."

 

She kept holding both his hands as she continued, offering him an encouraging smile, "I suppose lately things have been getting better. The disasters are getting fewer and further apart. The deaths per capita is back under the birth rate. Things have improved to the point they aren't flat out arresting meninists anymore, so we're getting back to allowing free speech."

 

Jack closed both eyes and violently shook his head for a second, "Wait. That's... like men's rights activists?"

 

Ivy nodded, "Well, you see there was a group, The Honey Badgers. A Very... very VIOLENT men's rights group. They stirred up a lot of trouble in the 90's when the big reset came down. Oddly enough, they were mostly women. Women who loved their sons and husbands and were just enraged at how men were being treated. It turned into a rather large shit show." She paused to look around, glancing up at a nearby security camera, then jogged her head to indicate they should keep moving, "Terrorist attacks. That sort of thing."

 

Jack looked around as they walked and then suddenly laughed.

 

Ivy looked at him, "What?"

 

Jack smirked, "Empire city. It's funny. In many ways, it's just like New York City." He looked around at the people on the street, "Here we are, having this bizarre conversation, I'm having a mental break down..." He looked at Ivy, "And nobody gives a fuck." He grinned, "Just like home."

 

Ivy laughed and nodded, "Yeah... yeah. I'm not from here, but... yeah. That is one thing about empire city. They've seen it all. Nothing phases the people who live here."

 

They were approaching their destination. Jack stopped when he saw the sign, "Kirby's Place?"

 

Ivy nodded, "Yeah. It's low key. I'd hang out here when I had spare time."

 

Jack noticed Ivy's 'past tense' usage, but didn't comment. He instead asked a more pressing question, "Myrtle-" She cut him off.

 

"Ivy. It's Ivy when I'm like this."

 

Jack nodded and cleared his throat, "Sorry. Ivy, please be honest with me. From everything I've seen, being a guy here seems like a good deal. Am I... in a gilded cage and don't know it?"

 

Ivy looked surprised by the question, and looked at the ground as she thought about it. Finally she looked up, "Honestly? I don't know. It used to be bad, it's gotten a lot better. Maybe it's best to say it was shitty for everyone. You see, men die a lot easier than women. It was sort of the reason for the whole 'Get Men Back In The Kitchen' movement. It was just safer. There are still more women than men, so keeping the ones we had safe made sense." She then smiled softly, "And... hey. We love you. Honestly. Women love men. Even if all men are insane-" She spoke in a voice to mimic Jack while she playfully winked, "It's hard to argue against the way things are when the attitude is, 'Think about what sort of world you want little boys to grow up in'."

 

She scratched the back of her neck, "I guess your choices as a man are limited, but if you didn't get sterilized by that super mumps virus from back in twenty oh five and are still fertile, you have a lot of golden cages to choose from." She widened her eyes briefly, "Even more so if you are a meta active man. Hell, you could pay the rent just getting paid for replenishing the stock at a sperm bank. Meta active men get paid top dollar for that sort of thing." She grumbled under her breath, "It doesn't help that really rich women like keeping stables of guys around for the fun of it. I hear some regions the ratio is four to six, but most places its more like forty five percent men, fifty five percent women."

 

Ivy looked a little embarrassed and spoke in a much softer voice, "There are certainly much better choices than me."

 

Jack abruptly grabbed Ivy's shoulder and pulled her to look at him. She was surprised at how angry he looked. For a moment there she wasn't sure if he was going to yell at her, kiss her, or what. He was frozen for several seconds, trying to sort out how he felt, before raising a single finger.

 

"Do not sell yourself short. EVER. Alright?" Jack's anger was barely controlled.

 

Ivy just nodded, "I... uh... okay?"

 

Jack's finger shook with barely contained emotion, "I'm BEEN there. Alright? Where you are, I've BEEN THERE." He shook his head and took a deep breath through his nose, "Don't. Just... don't. Okay? I don't want to hear that, because there is more to you than you imagine. More than other people know."

 

Ivy felt confused and blindsided, "How... do you know?"

 

Jack snorted, "Back home, I might not have had superpowers..." He tapped the side of his head, "But I did develop the ability to read people. I was a bill collector for about a decade. That's a straight commission job and if I didn't collect, I didn't eat." He started nodding, "Don't sell yourself short because I know people. THAT is my superpower, you might say. So believe me when I say this-" Jack tapped Ivy lightly, high up, dead center of her chest as he spoke with conviction, "You have something special."

 

Ivy was completely blind sided by Jack's sudden impassioned pep talk. She just stared back at him as she felt a deep warmth spreading in her chest. Something she hadn't felt since the last time she talked with her mother so long ago.

 

He gave her a smile in return as he pushed a stray lock of her hair back behind her ear.

 

 

 

 

"It's just to know you have it, sometimes someone else has to see it first."

 

---

 

"What the Hell is your problem?"

 

 

Upon walking into what appeared to be a rather average looking combination bar slash restaurant common in New York, it became apparent that this was a hang out for low grade capes and cape wanna-bees. That didn't make it seem bad, in fact, it looked to be quite the lively place. Walking over to the restaurant side, Ivy talked to the host who explained that they needed a few minutes to set up the table for the reservation. Whereupon Jack made up the excuse that he needed to use the restroom.

On his way there he took out his phone and proceeded to 'call' Adam.

 

~Hey. Just trying to help out.~

As Jack stepped into the bathroom, he was boggled to see how packed the bathroom was. He walked over to wait in line for one of the stalls and continued his 'phone call', "I don't need you bringing up shit, like how my previous dates went, okay?"

~Yes I do. If you want this thing to work, you're going to need my help.~

"I think I can handle this just fine. Been on plenty of dates and my batting average is just fine."

~Your getting LAID average is just fine. You want to actually DATE her, right?~

That gave Jack pause, "Well, she's a woman who thinks like a man, this shouldn't be a problem."

~Holy crap, Jack. How many male friends did we have back home?~

"Well-"

~Don't include anyone who was being paid money to be in our presence, either by us or because we worked for the same organization, and don't include family.~

"Uhh..."

~And it has to be someone who willingly spent time with us, of their own free will, in the past year.~

"..."

~Thought so. We do not have any male friends. We have subordinates and we have rivals, but we have no male FRIENDS. How are you going to make friends with HER?~

"I get along fine with women."

~You had a half dozen booty calls on your phone and five of those only saw you when you had money to blow.~

"Well there was at least-"

~We both know she was only sleeping with you because she worked for Tony and was hoping to dig up something to blackmail you with.~

"..."

Jack noticed one of the urinals opened up. He skipped the stall and went over to take a leak, "Fine fine fine. You got a point. You want to help, FINE. Just stop being so petty. I know she's using those 'power dating moves' on me. It's annoying, but I don't mind."

~You know it's because she's gotten some bad advice from someone, right?~

Jack thought about that for a bit, "No... I didn't think of that." He cradled the phone against his cheek while he did his business, "I kind of liked normal Myrtle. You think she'll stop this shit later?"

~Look. Just play along for now. You need to let her be in charge.~

"I don't do that very well."

~I know. I'll help. Just be a bit more standoffish and let her chase you. And stop talking about yourself so much. She's doing that thing you do to your dates.~

Jack zipped up, "Fuck. Get them TALKING about themselves so you seem like a good listener. Damnit! You're right. Shit. Good catch. Alright. Thanks man. Just stop being so sarcastic." He 'hung up' his phone and slipped it into his pocket.

 

As Jack turned to leave, the guy in the urinal next to him made eye contact, "Hot date?"

 

Jack froze. He stared back. You didn't strike up conversations with strangers in the bathroom, and you sure as HELL didn't do it at the urinal, "Huh?"

 

The guy behind Jack jumped in, "Sure sounded like one to me. Getting some advice from your boyfriend?"

 

Jack spun around and almost reached out to grab the guy by the throat and punch his face in when Adam chimed in, ~STOP! He's just being friendly!~

 

The second guy noticed Jack's hostility and backed up a step, "Whoa! Sorry. Just couldn't help but overhear."

 

The first guy sighed, "Sorry. Was just hoping to hear some good news from someone. This night has been terrible for me."

 

Jack looked from one to the other. They both seemed to be dressed rather flashy. Not quite superhero outfits, but with a similar vibe. They both appeared to be in their late twenties, fit but on the thin side. Jack was far more buff than either of them. Jack clicked his tongue, "Just a friend. I was asking for some advice on how to handle my VERY FEMALE date, that's all."

 

The second guy noticed the emphasis and held up his hands, "Hey. Wasn't making any judgements. I didn't mean Boyfriend-Boyfriend, just Bestie Boyfriend!"

 

The first one moved to make the situation more of a triangle instead of a line so the conversation could flow easier, "Sooo? Help me with the living vicariously thing. Is it going well? Is she rich?"

 

Jack's jaw dropped open as he looked from one to the other in confusion. Adam chimed in, ~Reverse world. Men stick together more and are far more friendly.~

 

Jack closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then let it out, "Hi. I'm from another universe. Got dragged here by accident. In my universe, men don't talk to other men in the bathroom. Ever. If I was stabbed and bleeding out on the floor, I'd crawl out of here before I called for help." He held up his hands flat as if pushing them away, "Nothing personal. I'm sure you're nice people..." He looked from one to the other, "But this is very awkward."

 

They both blinked as the first one exclaimed, "You're a displaced???"

 

Immediately every guy in the room turned and looked at Jack, "Oh my GAUD!" where upon Jack was swarmed with men coming over to talk to him. Someone said, "You hear about it in the news, but it's so cool to meet someone who's actually from another world!" Another guy with a rather large, pointy, and hard to ignore codpiece stepped up, "WOW! How do you like Earth?"

 

Jack backed up against a wall and considered pulling out his pistol to shoot his way out.

 

The first guy took charge, "Oi! Everyone! Stop crowding him!" He turned to Jack, "Sorry. Didn't know." He presented a hand to shake, "The name's Zander. Sorry to put you on the spot."

 

Jack took a moment to decide how the rest of the night would go and chose not to turn the bathroom into a shooting gallery. He shook the presented hand "Jack Cooper." He hooked a thumb to the exit, "Look. My date it waiting for me. This is already taking way longer than I imagined." He hooked a thumb at the urinal, "Just wanted to drain the dragon. So if you'll excuse me..."

 

There was silence for a second, then the room burst out laughing. The second guy was laughing the hardest, "Drain the Dragon??? Oh god, I gotta use that one!" He laughed a bit more, "Sorry you didn't have more time!" He took Jack's hand and shook it, "Name's Griffin. I hang out here a lot. Hope we can meet again when you have more time."

 

 

Jack smiled, nodded, and got the Hell out of there.