Chapter 7

Her Power

 

“How long would this day last?” Wondered Vanessa.

The day may be glowing, and the sun may be sending its kisses through its warm ray lights that shone upon the citizens and anything the light touches…unfortunately it didn’t touch Vanessa’s. Even the small laughter from others or the sound of cars that indicated a normal day couldn’t budge her. Her eyes were focused on what was ahead of her so she wouldn’t stupidly bump into anything on her way or look like a drunk. At most, she merely looked tired…exhausted.

The walk to her destination made her surroundings seemed as if time stopped even though her pace wasn’t too draggy. She wanted the day to be over and done with…that didn’t mean she wanted to die. 

It was just…heavy, like her gym bag.

Block after block and she finally reached her destination which was a gym, or more specifically, a boxing gym. The same on the logo of her bag. A good use to ensure she remains as fit as the other hunters despite the amount of alcohol her organs were drowned in. Her cold hands gripped the handle of the door and pushed it open for her to enter, and the moment she did, it was as if that coldness and numbness of her froze over the entire interior of the gym despite the cooling air-conditioning in it. If she had ice abilities or something like that, wouldn’t that better fit the atmosphere she was giving out? 

“Another bothersome day…”

What was a warm cheery atmosphere going further into its deep silence even after she closed the door. Vanessa swore she could have felt their hearts thumping out of their chests in an urge for air based on how they sucked in a breath and held it for a while till she started walking ahead again without a sign of bothering them or reacting to them.

They shouldn’t pray for a reaction from her. 

“Here we go again…well there’s some peace and silence at least without a ton of questions or so.” Vanessa sighed.

Through her side view, she noticed how their blood drained out of their faces as their eyes closely monitored her every movement, step after step and where her hands…or where her fists were, before turning away when their eyes met with Vanessa’s. It almost seemed as if eye contact with Vanessa is an invitation to a brawl or darkness that they didn’t need in this world. She noticed how they carefully moved away from her path with their heads down and their gaze on the floor while trying to not make a single sound as if she would explode the moment they did. On the bright side, at least she didn’t need to bother with the little ‘excuse me’ repeatedly or push them away when a path was nicely laid for her. 

Other than their sight on her, Vanessa noticed how some of them tried to hide themselves behind the bag when she walked past them, looking away as if they were initially busy with something. At least some tried to be polite while others rudely stared as if it wasn’t on the same level as messing with her nerves. Even better than them, there was a man whom Vanessa walked past that seemed to shrink away from her presence, which happened to be slightly amusing to Vanessa even though her face didn’t crack a smile. 

“I’ll…use the other ones all the way over there…away…” The voice was too soft for Vanessa to even notice he was speaking.

She could hear his audible soft wince and his face was…outright awful as if it was pummeled, well technically it was by yours truly. It was nicely decorated with pale colored of blue, black, and yellow…maybe a little red here and there. She was sort of surprised that he turned up despite the state of his face, but she didn’t comment on it or further thought about it.

“Hmm.” That was all that could escape her lips. 

Perhaps if there were a few more he could become a rainbow by her hands. Luckily for the man who had walked past her looking fit and clean…other than his face, at least he wouldn’t bother her anymore and he knew better not to unless he’d love another humiliating visit to the hospital. But that wasn’t only a sign for him but also a sign for others to not provoke her…at least not for now…for who knows how long she could suppress her agony. If only she could suppress it that long for the monsters. If she was ever going to demolish another one. 

Oh, when will the world be finally free from these creatures? Haven’t they suffered enough already? 

Vanessa reached her spot and dumped her bag on the ground causing a loud thud and possible flinches in the gym which she had yet to notice. She heard how everyone forced themselves to continue what they were doing now and thankfully she wasn’t in the mood to make a fuss of their little ‘welcoming’ treatment earlier. With the shaker cup still in her hand filled with the remaining vodka, he tilted her head a little to take a long swig of the relieving drink, groaning softly when the heavenly liquid ran down her throat and coated her tongue without leaving her drunk. 

“I definitely need to get more of these…maybe a whole truck or something.”

She was hoping that it would ease her mind…or so she convinced herself that it would for now. Vanessa felt that she would grab any small opportunity to ease her mind if it doesn’t cost her too much work or movement. 

Not as much as now. 

“I should have brought another bottle. Do I even have a spare at home now? Well, it doesn't matter, I'll just buy more later.”

After satisfying her throat and a little bit of her soul, Vanessa took out her boxing gloves and put it on, strapping it well on her wrists, once again she couldn’t hide away from the feeling of how the others were keeping a safe distance from her. They were, but they could at least be more subtle about it. She took a deep breath and one look, more like one glare at the boxing bag as if all her misery and agony were written on it, getting into her stance and there she began punching it.

Again,

And again.

She punched it hard.

But not with 100% of her strength.

It wasn’t even 15% of her strength.

The ability in her seemed like a blessing and a curse in one. Maybe it would have been a better blessing if it came during the right time. 

If only…

Why didn’t it?

The ability that she had was something she least expected to receive. Sure, it sounds like a blessing especially in this world with those monsters. Probably one punch with half energy might be enough to knock a big one down or one-shot a smaller one. But it also made her vulnerable…it made…it made others around her vulnerable to her strength without her knowing. 

Every time, every single time, Vanessa felt as if she had to forcefully pull her muscles back to not use her full strength. It was as if her body was playing a tug of war with her muscles and veins in her blood, halting the supplies of her strength that who knew where it originated from within her. At times it took out all the breath and smaller muscles that quivered when she tried retaining as much strength as possible. She felt like giving up on learning to control her strength but…deep down she knew how that may create an unwanted backlash against her, if she accidently went over the line and…and possibly kill someone…that wasn’t because of a monster threat. She didn’t know how many times she passed out of exhaustion trying to hold it back. And holding back her strength was like pulling a lard rock off a cliff…it took her so long.

“How many days was it? How many days…did I take to hold back even half of it? A month? It was probably more than that if I use the glass bottles of alcohol as my…my counting thing.”

That long…to finally be able to use a small percent of her strength without draining her soul out of her. 

While Vanessa’s brain and soul were lost in her thoughts, her body continued its training as per normal. Her fists took turns to punch the bag, right first, then left, and then right again. Afterward she imitated a dodge pose and used her elbows to hit the bag a few times before kicking it both with the soles and the heel of her foot through her shoes. Her breath was carefully controlled, and it felt as if her heart was tugging on her muscles once again, the familiar feeling when Vanessa didn’t want to use her full strength. However, no matter how much she controlled it, it was naturally stronger than anyone else’s punches, even the bulkiest of bodybuilder’s punches. 

Thud- thud- thud- thud- thud.

Her mid punches sent a constant echoing clap through the gym with every strike. If that wasn’t enough to warn others to stay away from her than she didn’t know what was, maybe the battered face of that man earlier on? 

He works as a warning sign too. Maybe he can earn more that way than slaying monsters. It’ll be an honorable and important job that’ll tease his ego.

At every punch, every kick, every physical contact she made with the bag, she could eye dawning all over her back as if it was poking her and recording her every move. One can always be used to something thrown onto them every day, but that didn’t mean that it she didn’t mind it, it didn’t mean she could always turn a blind eye to it. Like their world now, just because they were used to massacre doesn’t mean the people are completely in peace and security. 

“Wonder what they are gossiping about…it could be anything.” Vanessa wondered as she threw another pulled punch at the bag. 

“It could be…my abilities? The strength that I have is so legendary in Rocheport. Or it could also be…the fact they knew I was the lone survivor of the original landing…”

“Do they despise me for that? Do they see me as a hero or as a coward? Either way, I don’t think I’ll ever know…I don’t think I ever want to know. What’s the point?” 

Despite the harsh and strong exterior, Vanessa felt her inner self shrinking at every thought that she clenched her fists as hard as she could but her punches were still at its lowest force and that was already causing her heart to sweat at the amount of energy needed. This had yet to include the overwhelming worries in her brain, from the stares to her ability and former team. 

She felt how others were…somewhat coming closer to watch her. She felt a small crowd gathered behind her, chattering, and plunging their eyes on her like her punches. Thankfully for the sake of the last strands of her sanity, she was faced away from them, and she did not have to indulge her worries with meeting their eyes or their expressions. 

Was that enough for Vanessa to mind her own business and carry on with her workout? It should be, right?

Unfortunately, no…

Even though she wished, it was a yes. 

Well, it would be a yes for anyone in a way.

Vanessa deeply loathed that she was constantly watched like an artifact in the museum or…a monster to be wary of. That was what it felt like. That very feeling made her heart drop into a pool of blood within her that was slowly boiling. The more gazes fell onto her, the higher the temperature increased. The amount of alcohol she drank certainly wasn’t easing her situation as it became another source to enlighten the flame for the boiling blood. Her head couldn’t think straight since she wasn’t fully sober from the night before, she still looked like a deadweight as if she didn’t have another shot of the vodka before her punches. 

Chattering…

Stares…

The shadows of those eyes piercing her back…

What else do they want?

The boiling blood in her was rising and rising. Her heart was pumping that flame into her arms, then her muscles and finally to her punches to the bag. The silent gym that was filled with whispers and punches was now getting louder due to one single sound. The sound from Vanessa’s punches. The echoing was becoming louder and louder so was her low breaths. 

THUD.

THUD.

THUD.

Crack…crack

As she continued to punch, Vanessa didn’t realize how the leather of the heavy bag was beginning to crack open and peel due to the pressure of her constant strikes. Well, she couldn’t feel it from the glove and the sight of the bag was the last thing she needed to worry about. No one around her was brave enough to inform her about the state of her poor bag, instead, they reminded one another to stay away from the bags in case she accidentally sent it flying out of rage. 

While Vanessa’s body was busy punching, her mind was busy with the thoughts that wondered and bothered her peace. She found herself replaying that very day…that dreadful day. The day they were at the dungeon…

 

 What is that…get ready everyone and…fire!

Why isn’t it getting injured or…or bleeding or something!? What’s going- what, are the bullets bouncing off it!?

It’s no use! The bullets aren’t doing anything!

Were we not informed about this!? We could have been more prepared! We could have-

Move!!

We lost one…one of us…

How many more are they going to keep killing…

 

The image constantly flashed in her brain through her eyes while she continued punching the bag, mimicking the monster’s attacks. At this moment, the whispers behind her were becoming louder and louder. Many were theorizing what she was feeling while staying a safe distance away from her.

“What do you think is going on with her?”

“Move away or you’ll end up like-.”

“Is it safe for us to come here then?”

 She recalled how their bodies were smashed onto the ground, the sounds of the bones breaking, flesh squishing and screaming vanishing can never leave her ears and mind.

One comrade was gone

Then two…

It was within seconds till the team were wiped out after Vanessa was forced into safety and they could barely even touch it…

“Why?”

“Why couldn’t I die with them?”

“Why didn’t all of you let me die with you?”

Her breaths were becoming raspier and heavier that she unconsciously added more strength into her strikes, causing the poor bag to carefully rupture even more. She barely blinked while she was deep in her thoughts…or was it more of a memory?

 

She remembered that…before everyone perished, before she was ‘safe’, that creature was right in front of her and staring down as if he was its next delicious meal. She wondered so deeply why didn’t she have this ability then? It may not save everyone, but it would at least save half of her team. With this monstrous strength, she might have been able to break the bones of that vicious monster and it would have given them a chance to weaken it and finally kill it…but no. Her ability decided to take its time to arrive. Half of them would be able to return to their families, run and jump into their warmth. If not their families, then at least they would be able to see the future of this world…no matter if it was a good result or not. 

No matter, Vanessa glared at the monster despite her heart internally trembling with fear. She clenched her right fist, ignoring the fact that her life could be the next to visit the sky as she threw her arm forward for a hard punch at the monster.

 

Sounds of hard metal chains snapped and a loud cling rang through the floors of the gym when it whipped. 

A loud crash filled the gym. 

Vanessa didn’t punch the monster…she punched the bag…she punched it too hard without her realizing that it flew away fifteen feet to the left.

Once again, it made the gym fall into an instance of silence. A dangerous silence. Not even a single gasp or footsteps but everyone made sure to stay away and not vex her any further in fear of their bones joining the wrecked bag. Thankfully for them, Vanessa’s attention was far from their fear and shock.
She was gasping heavily that her lungs could carry the same capacity as a hot air balloon. She was still at her stance, staring at where the bag would have been…somewhat staring if it wasn’t for eyes turning blurry due to the tears pooling in them.

One 

Two

Three

They finally flew like a gentle stream, framing her face before it turned into a fast river when she felt the bile reaching up her throat to join her tears. She rushed to reach for the nearest trash can and pulled it towards her, dunking her head in despite the trash and let it all out. Whatever she ate, whatever she drank including the alcohol she inhaled. The bitterness of her puke could not compare to what she felt in her heart. Even though she…technically threw it up, the feeling will always be there unless her heard left her body. Maybe even that won’t be enough, maybe her soul had to leave her then she would finally be free…

Would she?

“Would I?” 

“Would I ever escape these feelings? Would it let me get over it? No…no no…I don’t deserve to, right? Until the time where I repay those lives and make up for my cowardice and carelessness then I can…I can…”