Jun Wang paced around in the kitchen, irritated and worried. He had clearly stated—no, ordered that servant to be here tonight. Where was he? A thousand thoughts filled his head, none of them good. Maybe he had been injured and couldn't make it? What if he knew about Wangye’s feelings and was scared away? What if—what if! There were so many possibilities, it was like drowning in a sea of doubt. He was probably just a little late.
He tried reasoning with himself, but his mind ran a mile a minute. He felt like he was going into battle without any plan, waging a war with a ragtag band of soldiers. There was no hope for his success. What could he do to ensure his victory? As a battle hardened soldier who had fought and won many battles he felt none were as harrowing as the situation he faced now.
He could plan the siege of a well-fortified city. Fight a rogue band of Northerners, ward off invaders at the border. But nothing could compare to this. Nothing he had done had so much as made his heart stutter. But now his heart trembled with untold fears.
He felt he could only be met with failure at this rate. But he would wade forward resolutely anyway, he was no coward. Nothing had deterred him before, why should it now? For the first time in his life Jing Shu felt that his heart was very weak; he had told himself all along that he was no coward, but it turned out he was. The most pitiful of all cowards.
It didn't matter in the end, though. He would still go through with it. If only to prove himself less of a coward. If only to really know the truth, was he really destined to meet failure here?
Jing Shu ran his fingers through his hair and continued pacing, the only way to find out the truth was to wait.
Time would tell.
It was the early hours of the morning when Xin Lin jolted awake, blood chilling in his veins. He had forgotten about Wangye! He scrambled up, accidentally hitting somebody’s head in the process, it was then he realized that the other manservants had returned. He had been in such a dead sleep that he hadn't even been awoken by them entering. He went over to the side, grabbed some random robes and hurriedly put the outer robes on. He was in such a hurry he didn't bother checking to see if they were his or not. Then he ran out to the kitchen in a rush to see if Wangye was still there. He wasn't sure if he wanted Wangye to be there or not, but he definitely didn't want Wangye to have been there and left already! That would be disastrous! The end of him!
He stumbled into the kitchen robes askew, not having been able to put them on correctly in his rush, and saw something that made him freeze.
The kitchen was a mess. A broken dish here, a spill there. Some black smudges on the wall, a pool of water on the floor… it looked as if it had been ransacked. And in the middle of it all sat Wangye, head propped up by his hand leaning on the table and fast asleep. He was actually asleep, and there seemed to be a bowl of something on the table in front of him.
Xin Lin quietly tiptoed over, careful not to wake Wangye. The dish on the table seemed to be a badly made congee, it was very watery and there seemed to be chunks of stuff scattered throughout. Wangye’s clothes were a mess and even one of his sleeves was covered in soot.
Xin Lin looked around trying to find any signs of others being here besides Wangye, upon not finding any he felt sour in his heart.
What had he done?!
He felt some regret in his heart, had Wangye waited here all alone for him? Had he really made this weird looking congee all on his own. Xin Lin really wanted to slap himself, how could he forget Wangye’s order?!
With a little bit of fear and trembling, Xin Lin tried to clean up a bit around Wangye. Lifting the bowls and utensils from the table he noticed it was still a little warm, so it seems Wangye hadn't waited too long, he was still dead though. Without the help of a modern clock Xin Lin found himself really inept at telling time. Before he had complained about analog clocks being hard to use, but know he would give his left arm for one! Not his right, as he wasn't ambidexterous and still needed to make a livelihood so he needed his dominant hand. Xin Lin quickly and quietly swept and cleaned up, erasing all evidence that Wangye had ever been here. Beside the obvious of the man sitting there.
After he had cleaned the soot from the ceiling and surrounding walls (and a few splotches of food up there too, how did it get up there?) he finally had to face his big problem.
What was he gonna do with Wangye? Just leave him there? Wake him up and steel himself for punishment? He didn't have time to think before Wangye stirred where he sat, bringing Xin Lin to full alert. He almost stepped a few paces back, afraid of being caught, but shook his head. No matter if backed away or ran away, how could he escape Wangye? Where had he ever had the confidence to think Wangye would forget about his order? How foolish was he?
Jun Wangye’s influence reached the heavens and covered the skies, even the simple commoners in the countryside knew Wangye was the most favored prince of the Jingyan Empire. Where could he go and what could he do to avoid the inevitable? So, Xin Lin stood straight and made his way over. He would first apologize and admit his wrong to soften the blow, then obediently take his punishment. As the saying goes, you couldn't hit the face of a smiling man. He only hoped that he wouldn't get his head cut off.
Wangye stirred in his sleep and seemed to be mumbling things. Curious despite himself, Xin Lin got a little closer to hear. They were only about a third of a metre apart, but Xin Lin still couldn't catch what was said. He debated leaning closer, but seeing no sign of Wangye actually waking he bit his lip and bowed his head to get closer.
It had to be said, Jun Wang was an outstandingly handsome man. His father was the Emperor who couldn't have a bad face, and his mother Meng Xia had been praised to be a beauty capable of the downfall of nations. Many idioms had been exhausted to praise her good-looks, so many in fact they had to make more up to fill the deficiency they had in not being able to describe her. Naturally it followed that her son would also defy the heavens with his astounding looks. His jaw was square and fine, his nose bridge straight and narrow. His face held a resolute masculinity that was praise worthy and his bearing even when asleep felt very heroic and righteous. It was only because Xin Lin never dared raise his head in the man’s presence for fear of being seen as disrespectful that he hadn't noticed.
Well, he had already broken the taboo now, there was no need to fear further prosecution. What more could he be punished for? Besides Wangye was asleep. Right now his chicken heart dared to do things he wouldn't dare to do in broad daylight.
Xin Lin had never been particularly weak to a good face, but even he had to admit, it was really good. He leaned in closely to listen, his shy face a little red and his lip caught between his teeth.
It was to such a sight that Jing Shu opened bleary eyes. At first he had been half-asleep but once he saw the vision before him, all the sleepiness cleared immediately!
Jing Shu had been praised for his good looks, some saying he even surpassed his mother. But he had never known his mother, she had died when he was really young. He didn't know if it was true or not. He had never put much stock in the look of a person anyway. He had always felt that a sincere heart was the most handsome.
Right now he felt that no one could surpass the beauty before him.
From the beginning he had noticed that Xin Lin was never scheming, he never used his good looks to get anywhere, it was always by his own merit. It was his artless beauty that drew him in. It had been the humbleness to cook him a meal, to lay on a wooden bench for a nap. The boy had never seemed discontent or greedy, just had a sense of modest contentment.
That, he surmised, was the true reason for his outrageous crush. That was the reason he couldn't tear his eyes away now.
Xin Lin, who had darted his eyes away after a few looks, hadn't noticed Wangye waking. Even if he dared to look he didn't dare to stare! That’s why when Wangye suddenly surged forward and caught him between two strong arms, he was so surprised he didn't have any reaction for a long while!
What! Was! This! Situation?!
Jing Shu wasn't sure what had possessed him to gather the smaller person in his arms. He only felt that they fit perfectly there, snug and leaning on his body for support. He felt an indescribable sense of happiness fill his chest. It bubbled up and threatened to spill out. It was such a feeling he hadn't felt for a long time, it brought back half-remembered memories of his mother. He hadn't felt such happiness since she died. Even if he didn't remember much, the feeling of being loved unconditionally and loving back, he yearned for it.
He really wished at this moment for his love to be returned. Now that it came down to it, he didn't think he could withstand any kind of rejection. How naive he had been to think he could forget this love?
Absently, Jing Shu found his fingertips lightly tracing the shadows of Xin Lin’s eyelashes that fluttered like a butterfly’s wings. The contours of his cheeks, the shape of his pink lips, it was all lovely.
Being treated like this and gazed at so longingly, if Xin Lin didn't have a reaction it would be strange. Not to mention that the person doing it was so good looking and gentle. Xin Lin felt his fragile heart stutter. He could only helplessly stare into Jing Shu’s deep and dark eyes that seemed to hold infinite secrets. They sucked him in and he felt that maybe he had been bewitched?
The other didn't push him away, didn't forbid his actions, Jun Wang felt emboldened. To say it now would be good wouldn't it?
He had worried so much about this moment, tried to create a romantic atmosphere by making food. He had worked very hard and it still hadn't turned out very well and he had made a big mess. Jing Shu was aware he didn't have much talent in aspects beyond waging war and staging campaigns, it had always made him feel useless. But he still had done it, tried his best even. It was nothing for the one he loved.
Only it seemed it was unneeded?
The atmosphere had formed on it's own, without Jing Shu having to worry about it. He opened his mouth to say the words, and found them flowing freely from his lips. It was this easy?
“Xin Lin, I love you.” It had been solemn and quiet, a soft caress of the wind against his ear. An honest and true declaration of love, not some flowery words to flatter him. Gentle and sweet, the words struck Xin Lin like lightning!
As if woken from a trance Xin Lin realized the ambiguity of the situation, his robes askew and too big for him, looking like a debauched lover. His lips were red from his own biting and him lying in Wangye’s arms meekly. A-and Wangye stating that—stating that! He! Loved! Him?!
Suddenly Xin Lin was a bit scared. What was he supposed to do?! He started panicking and pushed Jing Shu away before scrambling up and running away!
Left there all alone, JIng Shu was stunned for a good while. What had happened? Was he rejected? He felt a pang in his heart at the thought, and finally looked at his surroundings. Everything was clean, not a speck of dust remained. Was this the work of his love? Had Xin Lin been here long enough to see his mess and clean it for him? He had cleaned it for him and not woken him up? And Jing Shu’s way of thanking him was so forward? Suddenly Jing Shu felt a deep remorse, how could he behave so?
He had conveniently forgotten that to a regular servant, doing this much was expected.
He had written it all up in his mind as Xin Lin favoring him, and him treating Xin Lin with disrespect. He had deserved to be pushed away.
With a hanging head and dispirited demeanor Jun Wang left the manor’s kitchens and walked back to his courtyard.
If he got any sleep tonight it would be a miracle.
Frightened out of his wits, Xin Lin raced away in a random direction. What had happened?! H-how had Wangye come to say those words to him of all people?! Was this what Xiao Hua had meant when she said someone has a crush on him? How had he not noticed?!
What was the world coming to!
Xin Lin stopped and stood panting. Where was he, where had he run to? Looking around he found himself in one of the many gardens of the residence. It was quite spectacular and even had a considerably big pond and rockery. Xin Lin was in no state of mind to take note of this, however. His mind was running in circles of: “What no way!” to “this can't be happening” or “what did I just do?!”
In truth Xin Lin hadn't really stepped out of line very much, but somehow he felt it had all been his fault. He had never cared how others saw him in this world, so he had always ignored how his good-looks effected others. If he had been a bit more self-aware maybe he wouldn't be met with this situation? But it wasn't as if he had a mirror or anything! Those were expensive, not just anyone could get their hands on them. He had never had the habit of gazing at his face in reflective surfaces anyway. He knew his face was outstanding, so he inevitably just happened to forget. It didn't matter to him, anyway he was still the same on the inside, right?
He felt he had unknowingly seduced Wangye, and bent an honest and blameless man. How could he have been so shameless?! His self reproach was truly great this time. If only he hadn't been so ignorant of the way of this world, hadn't expected everyone around him to conform to the standards of the 21st century. Back in his old world he had seen his fair share of beauties, natural beauties were abundant, and with modern science and technology anyone could be beautiful. He took it for granted that here nothing like that existed. There was no media to shine the lights of countless stars, they could only rely on hand painted portraits and paintings. There was no internet to broaden everyone’s horizons, they could only search to find out for themselves.
Everything here was hard won, and he took it for granted and threw it in their faces. How could he be so ungrateful? He suddenly wanted to cry, but felt shameful for it.
What right did he have to cry? He had been thoroughly blessed.
Filled with remorse and self-reproach he went back to change. He wouldn't be able to sleep any further tonight. He decided to apologize and reject Wangye as humbly as possible as soon as he could.
It wouldn't do like this. He couldn't be cruel and leave a good man hanging onto useless hope.
He genuinely felt he didn't deserve Wangye’s sincere regards.
