I wandered around the premises for a few good hours, mostly spaced out while imagining myself anywhere else. 

“Hey, Earth how’d it go?” Vern said jogging over to the corner I was walking around at the moment, trying to spin myself dizzy so I could pass out and skip on dinner.

“It was a bluff. Lots of demons know my name, you know.” I lied.

“That... That's great. Anyway, dinner is ready for us now. I got you a seat at the table with my patented Vern charms. We need to leave for the capital by tomorrow evening by the way.”

“Oh? So, is the incredibly overly long and ever-changing prophecy about you all killing the next Lord or whatever going forward then?”

“Not really. The King invited me- sorry, us. He’s set up some island for the chosen that they have just rediscovered and plan to use it for the Chosen to live and train and learn about one another before it all goes to shit and some other stuff, I zoned out about before hearing."

“That is a startlingly good idea.” My stomach rumbles. "Which only means it's going to be a mess knowing us."

“I have to warn you that due to unforeseen events, your future murderer, Frederica is joining us for dinner.”

Frederica was the name. She’s going to kill me for forgetting this long. I ignored that last part of his comment and replied, “You could have asked me first, Vern.”

The Devil herself was waiting at the door of the dining hall. “Welcome back, Vern.” She glared at me; eyes hidden by the shadows of her helmet. Let me be honest here, Frederica was nice enough when she wasn’t trying to out asshole me and also I guess attractive enough- not really my type in that regard but she wasn't ugly, and since I know Vern’s tastes having helped him plan multiple confessions back in our hometown and having seen the girls he crushed on in Callie's monthly magazines, the only reason that she was rejected was due to that one time during training together where she gave him a concussion that lasted a month. Or he just didn’t like her in that way. Or you know he still had feelings for… no, that probably wasn’t it, I hoped that wasn't still it. At the very least, she was at least liked well enough to be basically our only friend, though any of us would be horrified to admit it aloud to anyone.

“Glad to see you too, Fredericka.” I joked.

“Screw you.” She spat at me.

Vern sighed audibly, done with our childish bickering already at its pupal stage, “You two fight like Donna and Ella did back home.”

“Donna and Ella?” Asked the Female Guard.

“Two old crones who were always causing public nuisances back home.” Answered Vern.

“What are you trying to say, love?”

“That you two are always fighting like best friends that had lived together for decades.”

“Oh. I thought you were implying elsewhere.”

“I could imply you’re both nuisances any time. Besides at least I didn’t imply you two had feelings for each other- which clearly you d- urf!”

“Hey, I can’t like everyone I fight with, you dick.” I elbow him.

“You had crushes on Azrael, Beatrice, Benny, Kali, Qua-”

“Okay, okay. I get it, I fight with, fought with my crushes… when I was like TWELVE. And half of them I didn't fight until after I got over my crush on them. She and I are at most people who would hang out together in a way one might say is friendly.”

“Look Vern, Earth, I’d love it if we would stay here and do what we do every time we are together, but Duchess Nathers is waiting, and I don't want to pay for another vase.” Fredericka began walking into the dining hall.

“I suppose we should get going then,” Vern said following after her.

(Wait, is her name spelt Frederica or Fredericka. I’ve never seen it written out so how am I supposed to know how to spell it out? I’ll figure it out later I guess.)

The table in the dining hall was burdened by mountains of food, though no meat though since the Duchess was vegetarian. It helped that our main economic export was our vegetable crop so the number of animals for eating in the area was low as they held little monetary value, and thus we had a ton of vegetables to go around.

The chef personally served us, an old woman who had once tried to teach Vern to cook. He still can’t. I was also attempted but was forced out after trying to fix some dishes by overloading it with every spice in the spice rack. I poked at the salad in front of me. Say what you will, it definitely was a salad- if not lacking in dressing and cheese. I pulled on of the few strands of cheese and rolled it into a ball between my fingers. 

“My lady, thank you for inviting myself and my shield to dine with you.” Vern bowed towards the breathing pile of wig and makeup called the duchess.

“Oh no, Hero, the pleasure is all mine. And I so do hope you don’t mind little Fredericka dining with us. I need a guard at hand at all times, and her father is out of town for his anniversary.”

“Me? Bothered? No. The only problem is that-” Vern leaned in and whispered into the Duchess’ ear. The sound of laughter soon followed. The Duchess looked quickly at us non-laughing folks. I could hear snickering.

I glanced over at Frederica, helmet on the table beside her, short black hair awkwardly flattened. She was glaring at the salad, obviously not used to not eating meat as part of her meal. She was biting her lips as if she wanted to bleed on it to give it flavor. 

We ate the meal for the next hour, I poured extra cheese, that I had forced the chef to give me under threat of repeating the actions which had gotten me kicked out of the kitchen, on all my dishes to give a bit more variety in flavor to the whole lettuce-based meal. (Seriously. Not a carrot or cabbage could have been spared?) The Duchess and Vern talked and ate absentmindedly, and the female guard just nibbled on the salad starter.

“Now, Vern, remember: King Xander wants you in the Capital by next Sunday to be blessed by the High Mother before you journey with the other chosen.” The Duchess remarked as the dinner was nearing to an end.

“I think we can manage that.” He looked at me.

“We don’t have horses.” I mention.

“I’ll have some delivered to you.” The Duchess says.

“Well then, thank you for the meal.” Vern says standing up and bowing.

“It’s late Vern. The regular room is free.” The Duchess said. We stayed here enough when called to basically have our own rooms.

“Room?” I asked, a bit concerned.

“Yes, Earth, his only. Yours got… flooded.” The Duchess replied. How.

“So, I guess Vern and I will be bunking up then.”

“No, no. The bed in Vern’s is too small to comfortably fit both of you. The filling of the mattress is too expensive to make it bigger.” The Duchess explained, “However, there is someone in this room you can room with.”

“Oh deities no.” We both moan in unison.

“Oh, come now, Frederica dear, the cheap bunk bed in your quarters is plenty big for the both of you.”

“Do you not see a problem with me sleeping in the same room with a man?” An exasperated Frederick says. I felt my stomach turn at that; I suppose for how she said it. That absolute horror in her voice at the thought of it.

“Not really. I mean if you have an issue that says more about you, dear. Besides, I’d hardly call eighteen years enough for a man.” Duchess Nathers smiled. I was really feeling insulted now.

Vern simply laughed and said, “Well, have fun you two,” and ran out of the room before either of us could toss a fork through his skull.  

Fredricka sighed and motioned me to follow her towards her own quarters. I chugged the last of the drink and followed along.