Holiday to remember

Chapter 18.

 

The truck driver was in a hurry to unload the boxes and go but under strict instructions from mum, I had to make him wait while I opened every box and checked everything off the list mum had left. By the time I’d checked everything, dragged the boxes in, put everything where mum wanted it, and tidied up all the packaging I was sweating like a pig on a spit and ready for a break. Louise had stayed on the couch all the time, watching me come and go.

 

“I’m far too hot now.” I grumbled as I flopped onto the couch where I’d been before, pulling on the collar of my t-shirt I fanned myself with it, suddenly aware that just taking it off in front of her might give her the wrong idea.

 

“Take it off then.” She commented with a small smile. “I need a fag anyway.” She dug in the tiny little handbag she had with her and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, expertly flipping it open so that she was presented with a cigarette and a disposable lighter.

 

“Not in here. Mum will go bat-shit-crazy. You wanna smoke you have to take it outside.” I hastily warned her. She sighed in exasperation and stood up.

 

“Wanna show me where I can?” She asked sweetly, looking over her shoulder at me. Although I wasn’t sure I wanted to move that much, I couldn’t help myself, I almost leapt off the couch and led her to a spot in the back garden where we could sit on the grass and she could smoke. The lighter clicked a couple of times and she inhaled smoke deeply, holding it in her lungs like it was the best thing ever. Before she held out the packet and the lighter to me in a clear gesture that meant I could help myself if I wanted to. Part of me wanted to take one and enjoy it but the image of Jamie helping himself to my weed swam before me and made me refuse, content just to breathe in the smoke she blew out of her nostrils in two steady streams. I pushed the packet back towards her and watched as she pulled on her cigarette slowly, savouring the smoke.

 

The sun beat down on us mercilessly and the heat radiating off the dark wood on dads garage felt like it was straight out the oven. Sweat quickly started dripping off me again and I had to mop my face with the edge of my t-shirt regularly.

 

“Just take it off.” Louise smirked “Not like I’ve not seen you without it before.”

 

“I thought it might be uncomfortable for you.” I mumbled as she reached out and pulled the side of it up. I shed the cloth but still didn’t really feel any cooler. I was aware of her gaze wandering over my bare chest, it wasn’t exactly chiselled or well-defined like a bodybuilder or muscle man but I thought it was ok. My bruises had begun to fade but still made coloured blotches on my skin.

 

“I could take mine off for you too.” She offered.

 

“It’s ok. Not like there’s a lot of it anyway.”

 

“Yea I know, Allen always complains my tits aren’t big enough.” She huffed round her cigarette as she cupped her own breasts through the skimpy top she was wearing. I looked away as though I wasn’t interested. I found myself comparing her size to Skye’s, Louise wasn’t much bigger though she was a little taller.

 

“I wasn’t talking about your boobs.”

 

“Sometimes you’re hard to figure out you know. You seemed to like my tits before, I guess now you know what a whore I am, I disgust you. What do you honestly think?” I turned back to face her and saw she had pulled her top up and let her boobs flop out. I could see bruises where they had been mauled by someone and her small dark nipples seemed to stand proud though I also noticed that one had also recently been pierced.

 

“More additions?” I asked trying to not appear interested.

 

“Heh, Kelvin thought I should have it. Fucker put it in without any anaesthetic, fuckin’ hurt like a bitch.” She seemed amused and annoyed at the same time.

 

“Why do you do what he wants when he clearly treats you like shit?” I finally asked the question that had been foremost in my thoughts since she’d told me what her father did to her.

 

“If I resist, he’ll just hit me and punish me till I give in and do it anyway so it’s easier to just do it before.”

 

“But that’s just letting him get away with it.”

 

“I guess it’s the price I have to pay for living. I’m too old to run for him so he just uses me for other things.”

 

“He shouldn’t be using you or making you pay for living, you should go to the police or something.”

 

“Yea right, Look at me Ken, I’m not pretty like other girls, I’m not smart or anything either, Kelvin reminds me all the time that fucking is the only thing I can do that’s worth anything and is the only reason to keep me around. That no one would want me for anything else.” She shrugged and I felt sickened that she could so calmly accept such things about herself.

 

“There are plenty of people who aren’t super smart or pretty, there are lots of other things you can do. You don’t have to be the smartest or the prettiest, just you.”

 

“See, that’s why I like you. You’re so nice. He’s right though, it’s not about being able to do things, it’s about being good at things, I’m not really good at anything. I’m only good at pissing people off.”

 

“I don’t understand, why all the other guys though? I mean I’m pretty sure that he hasn’t forced you to screw half the boys at school.”

 

“Dunno, I guess I like the feeling that maybe they do love me? That maybe one of them will actually like me?”

 

“So why brag about them?” Louise shrugged, stubbed the end of her cigarette out and lit another one, her boobs still on show as she did.

 

“Because they all turn out to be the same. Just dicks that wanna fuck.” She flopped back onto the dry grass, breathing a thin plume of smoke up into the air above her. “I guess it makes me feel better when I slag them off.”

 

“But you didn’t brag about me.” I lay on my side on the grass facing her and I saw her eyes flick to me and then away again.

 

“You are thick aren’t you? I like you, I mean sure, I felt a bit guilty about being with you like that but I couldn’t just ask you out.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Apart from the fact that Kelvin would go totally fuckin’ crazy. I’ve kinda got a reputation you know, so you might have said no.” I could hear the sarcasm in her voice but at the same time I felt that she was being more honest with me than she usually was.

 

“I might have said yes if you’d been like this, I like this honest side of you.”

 

“Thanks. I don’t suppose that you would go out with me then? We’d have to keep it secret but we could try and make it work till you go off to uni.”

 

“You don’t see it lasting any longer than that?” I asked, a little concerned.

 

“I don’t know, you’d probably get bored of a long-distance thing, not like I could go with you.”

 

“Why not? You can go to uni if you want to.”

 

“Like I can afford it and there’s no way Kelvin will pay or want me out of his fuckin’ control for that long. I’m gona burn out here, can we go in? You could show me your room.” She dragged on her cigarette quickly, finishing it as though she were in a race as she changed the subject abruptly. I shrugged and led the way back to the door by mum’s workshop.

 

“You’d better leave your shoes by the door, Mum doesn’t like us wearing them up the stairs.” I commented as we went in. I didn’t notice her hesitation as I slipped my own trainers off. She hesitated for a moment before telling me it didn’t matter, we should go back to the couch in mums workshop. I probably should have realised there was something she hadn’t told me about then but I didn’t, I went and got us more drinks while she made herself comfortable on the couch.

 

Returning with the drinks I saw that she was slouched on the sofa, her long legs spread out before her, reminding me just how good they had felt wrapped around me. I could see right up her skirt to her crotch so I was sure that she’d chosen the pose deliberately, in an attempt not to stare at her crotch my eyes travelled along her legs and I realised she still had her trainers on but wasn’t wearing socks. Remembering her hesitation and abrupt change of mind on the destination at the door, I also realised I’d never seen her feet, she always had something covering them.

 

Something about it niggled at my mind and I started to plan to see her feet as revenge for her laughing at me. I thought it was only that she thought feet were weird. She wasn’t subtle about what she wanted to happen next as we sat there, I pretended not to notice though as she got more and more frustrated that I wasn’t picking up on her suggestive behaviour. Finally, she slammed her empty can down and straddled my lap, putting her uncovered boobs in my face.

 

“I don’t know if you are being particularly dense today or if you really are put off by finding out what a whore I am.” She complained as she held my head against her. Knowing she wasn’t expecting it and thinking it the perfect time to strike, I put an arm round her waist to keep her from getting away and used the other hand to flip her shoe off. She yelped and struggled to get away from me. She slumped back into the other side of the couch but not before I’d seen the scars that covered the sole of her foot in a random tracery of lines and circles, more than one of which was red and puckered as though it were freshly made.

 

“Bastard.” She swore at me, her foot held to the floor as she tried to reach the trainer I’d flicked off. From the top, her foot seemed perfectly fine but I couldn’t get the sight of the scars and welts out of my head.

 

“What …?” I started.

 

“You fuckin’ idiot.” She sobbed, tears filling her eyes “You didn’t need to know about that.” She cut me off, fury and fright warring on her face.

 

“I’m sorry, I thought you were just embarrassed by feet for some reason.” I blurted out, trying to calm her.

 

“Wanker.” She snatched a tissue and dabbed at her eyes, trying not to smudge her makeup.

 

“Some of those look bad. You want me to put some ointment or something on them?”

 

“I didn’t want you to see them.” She hissed.

 

“What caused them?” I asked softly, strangely aware that I was probably treading somewhere she wasn’t sure she wanted to go.

 

“Allen likes to do it to punish me for things, says he can’t do it where people would see too much while I’m still in school.”

 

“What does he do? Some of those looked like knife cuts.”

 

“Yea, knife, clothes iron, stubs his cigarettes out on my feet while Kelvin is fucking me, anything he has to hand really.” She shrugged. “I don’t wanna talk about that though, wouldn’t you rather I showed you something else that Kelvin pierced? I think you’ll like that much more.” She was already reaching for the crotch of her panties as she spoke so I could guess where it was. I stopped her.

 

“I don’t need to see that right now.”

 

“Wanna get straight down to business? You could make me feel a lot better.” She purred, her voice low. “You know I want you right now.”

 

“No, Louise, I’m serious. I’m worried about you and I need to think about it all before I know if I want to be in a relationship like that with you. I don’t know if I can handle it all, or how I can save you from all the shit you’re in.”

 

“Fuck.” She pouted. “I don’t really care if you save me, I’m a lying whore after all. We can have an open relationship if you want, just let me believe that you love me till you go to university.”

 

“I don’t want to be like all those other dip-shits. I don’t want to take advantage of you and then disappear. If we’re going to have a relationship then I wanna make it a proper one and go into it trying to make it work, Jamie made me realise that’s what I want.”

 

“You were happy enough to just fuck me last time.” She grumbled as she straightened her top, covering up her breasts again. “Can’t we just go back to that and let me pretend?”

 

“I didn’t know what I wanted then and you were available and it kinda just happened.” I tried to defend myself.

 

“I’m going to call you “Jerk” from now on because you really are a jerk, I can’t believe that I love you sometimes. You probably can’t save me, I’ve just got to use them till I can get away from them. When I get away from them though, I’m going to have to get far away because they are going to come after me and I don’t wanna be the broken bitch they kill to frighten the next girl into doing what they want so long term I’d only make things difficult for you. I’d like it if we could pretend for a bit though.” She didn’t seem sad as she spoke, merely resigned to her fate.

 

“I need to think about it, to weigh it all up and see how I feel about it all.” I sighed, knowing that it wasn’t the answer she was hoping I’d give her.

 

“I know, it’s why you’re a jerk and another reason I love you. You know where I am when you make up your mind or even if you just wanna fuck I guess, you weren’t that bad.”

 

“I was bad enough to make you laugh.” I half teased, the memory still hurting a little. She smiled and stood up, getting her trainer and checking everything was in her bag. I knew she’d decided to leave and I didn’t try to stop her this time, feeling I understood her more and really wanting time to think about everything. At the door she turned back to me, rubbed her hand over my crotch, feeling my dick twitch in response.

 

“You’ve got some girth so you really aren’t a bad fuck, I’d be happy to teach you anything else.” She spoke softly, her voice low and breathy. “I’ll be around when you remember how much you want a pussy sliding over your thick cock.” She giggled a little, knowing that she was teasing me as she leaned in and kissed me quickly on the cheek. The kiss was gone again so fast I almost thought it hadn’t been real as she turned and hurried down the driveway, not even turning back once.

 

I stood at the door watching her, long after she’d disappeared down the road. My thoughts and feelings were in a mess and I was beginning to second-guess myself, wondering if I should have kept her there longer, maybe gotten her to talk to my parents so they could help her. My self-doubts and worry beginning to gnaw at me making me wish I could go play my guitar, work things out to music as I had so often in the past.

 

Dad pulled up by the garage less than ten minutes after I’d shut the door, he immediately wanted me to help him with some of the work on the mower and some shelving stuff he’d bought to organise the garage a bit more. When I handed him the wrong thing for the second time he asked what was wrong.

 

“Got a lot to think about that’s all, heard one of my friends is in a difficult situation and I wanna help.”

 

“Want to talk about it?” Dad asked, concern in his face as he looked at me. “You know you can tell me and Mum anything that’s on your mind.”

 

“It’s complicated.”

 

“It always is son. I’m sure it will blow over sooner than you expect though.”

 

“It affects her whole life though.”

 

“Son, be open with me now, did you get a girl pregnant?” His face was only semi serious, I could see a similar spark in his eye to Summers when she was teasing.

 

“No, it’s not like that Dad, how could you ask that?”

 

“You haven’t brought a girl over but you haven’t spent so much time with the boys from school for a while now, we guessed that you must have a girlfriend somewhere and that girl rang up for you yesterday.”

 

“You honestly think I’d be keeping that quiet about it?” I smirked back at him.

 

“Oh ho, so it’s a boyfriend then?” Dad teased

 

“And what if it is?” I played along with dads teasing, hoping it would distract him.

 

“That’s ok, you don’t need to hide it.” He shrugged, turning back to what he was doing with the engine and knocking something down inside it which effectively killed the conversation as we tried to find and retrieve it without knowing what exactly we were looking for.

 

It wasn’t until after I’d gone to bed that night that I had a chance to think more, trying to remember the details of what Louise had told me and how I could help was making my head ache and making it hard for me to sleep. Having left my projection clock at the farmhouse, I couldn’t tell what the time was as I lay there tossing and turning. The house was quiet so I guessed that everyone else had gone to bed when I heard a light scratching on the door by the bathroom.

 

“Ken, you wake?” Skye asked softly from the other side of the door.

 

“Yea, I’m awake.” The shadows in the room moved, a darker patch of darkness and Skye slipped into the room, silently ghosting her way across to the bed.

 

“God your room is so dark.” She breathed as she neared the bed, I threw back the cover and made room for her to sit beside me.

 

“Not all of us sleep with the curtains open. What’s the problem?” I asked as she stretched herself out beside me, covering her feet with the blanket and snuggling up beside me. I felt her cool toes slide against my leg as she got close, the sensation of her leg touching mine. She paused for a moment.

 

“You not wearing your shorts?” She asked with a note of surprise.

 

“I got into bed straight from the shower, I didn’t see the point.”

 

“Mmm, maybe I’ll have to try that some time.” She was so close I could feel that she was wearing something but I couldn’t see it, I guessed that it was probably a strappy top and pj shorts like she often wore to bed. Her hand slid down my arm and pulled my butt closer to her as we lay facing one another, leaving me more confused than I had been before.

 

“Did you want something else?”

 

“You’ve been all moody again today, being grounded got to you that much? I have some news that might cheer you up.”

 

“Louise came over while you were all out.”

 

“Oh. I know what that slut would have wanted, I’d have thought that you would be happy after that or are you just pissed because she might have given you something so now you have to tell us?” I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was disappointed with me, assuming that she knew why Louise had been to visit and that I had probably given her what she wanted.

 

“I didn’t do anything with her, we just talked.” I grumbled.

 

“Yea right, talked your way into her pants I’ll bet, not like that’s all that hard. Guess I should leave you to think about her then.” She pulled away from me and started to slide out of the bed again.

 

“Fuck sake Skye, I didn’t screw her! She came over, told me some shit about her life and left. I didn’t want to screw her, when she offered, I said no.” I was irritated with my sister and almost forgot to keep my voice low.

 

“Oh my god. Must’ve been some serious shit, now you have to tell me about it.” She slid back to a more comfortable position in the bed.

 

“I said no to her because of you and Summer, not because of her. I was trying to think of your feelings.” I grumbled at her.

 

“I’ll bet you’re just saying that to make me feel better about it. What did she tell you though?” She murmured, apparently more appeased than she wanted to let on. She snuggled into me and listened while I relayed everything I could remember that Louise had told me about her life.

 

“Jeezus, that’s one hell of a tall tale. Think it’s true?” She asked after I’d finished.

 

“Well I saw the scars she’s got so I’d kinda take that as evidence she’s telling the truth.”

 

“There is such a thing as self-harm you know.”

 

“Yes I know that, it didn’t look right for it though and some of them would be hard for her to do to herself like the ones on her back.”

 

“Ok, so long as you’re convinced, I’ll accept it. If Jimmy’s dad is involved with drugs, I guess it kinda explains where he’s getting them though. Which reminds me, we met Genette in town, she had to apologise to mum, apparently, Jimmy took something bad and that’s why he collapsed. Lilly was scared shitless about it and told the doctors apparently.”

 

“Dave Morrison’s girlfriend, Lilly?”

 

“Yea.”

 

“So it wasn’t me that put him in hospital.”

 

“Yup, thought that would make you feel better.”

 

“I suppose, still feel a bit pissed off that I couldn’t get him back for Summer though.” I grumbled.

 

“There might be a way, I need to think about it more but if what Louise said is true then we might be able to use the whole situation to our advantage.”

 

“We can’t prove anything though, it’s all hearsay and Louise kept saying that she was a liar herself.” I cautioned the shadow beside me in the bed.

 

“I know, I’m gona try talking to Lilly when we’re back at school, she should be in my class again. I might be able to get a bit more information out of her. The one that needs to be more careful is you.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“You can’t go off half-cocked again. We need to decide on things together, all of us, about what to do. I’m sure that when we have a plan you can talk Summer into going along with it. I’ll talk to the Twins and see if they are in.”