The green skins bellow out as they're gunned down by blue Tau lasers,

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

The Tau begin to freak out as the waves of orks grow closer and closer. Their shooting becomes more erratic, changing from concise shots to shooting in the orks general direction. I stand on the shoulders of Greyskull dah Big, and yell out with magic making my voice echo across the entire battlefield,

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

Da ork boiz and I reach the Tau lines, and begin ripping the weaboo's to shreds. The warboss I'm standing on goes toe to toe with one of the Tau power armor suits, and easily rips it in half. He speaks to me,

"Didja see dat, lil' burd?"

I nod my head,

"Dats wuz bru'al!"

The warboss raises his arms in happiness and lets out another wagh.

Yuuuup. That's me. You're probably wondering how I got in this situation, huh? Let's rewind a little.

*rewind sound effects*

After waking up in a pile of ashes, I discovered that my body had been shrunk. I was no longer big birb mommy, but little birb baby. I also found that I was temporarily weakened. Like it'd probably take about a day for me to get back up to full strength. I was around high C-rank, so still pretty strong in this universe, but nowhere near the top anymore. It was then that I noticed da orky boiz wuz 'ere!

As they charged the Tau lines, they noticed little ol' me standing in front of one of the sword left there by a dead man. We stare at eachother. Neither of us moving. They still hold their weapons high as the ground begins to rumble like godzilla is walking towards us. Coming from behind the ranks of orks, is a large boi. He has a black squig on top of his head, and various scars across his body where lasers, chainswords, and other things have ripped into his body. Across the right side of his face is a massive grey burn scar. He speaks in his British accent,

"Li'l burd?"

He raises up his giant red axe, made from the armor of a dead blood angel space marine. As he swings it down at me, I catch it, making a loud clang echo across the battlefield. I then speak in my most accurate British accent,

"You'ze gotz a lotta nerve, ork."

I jump up with force and land an uppercut on the warboss' chin. As he falls back, I land on his chest and raise my fist up in the air,

"LISTEN UP YOU GITZ! I'ZE DAH NEW WARBOSS! Y'HEAR?!"

The orks look at me standing atop their leader and begin to talk amongst themselves,

"But… dah li'l burd'z notz an ork?"

"How's we meant to follow such a toiny li'l thing?"

I pick up a rock and toss it at the ork, hitting it on the head. I say,

"I may be tiny, but by Gork and Mork, I'm mighty!"

There's a gasp as I say this, which leads to silence until a single ork speaks up,

"ITZ BLESSED BY GORK AND MORK!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

Collectively, the Orks all yell out,

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

I raise my own hand and yell out, with a bit of magic in my voice to make it louder,

"WAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

And THAT is how I got myself into this situation. Over this short amount of time, I've gotten rather close with these orky boiz. I see a Tau Stormsurge aiming its giant cannon at Greyskull, and point my finger at it, shooting out a laser beam and ripping the gun off the ship. My orky mount then runs up to the giant robot and climbs up its leg using the axe in his hand to pull himself up. As he reaches the head, he flings himself into the air and yells out a mighty wagh before driving the blood-red axe down into the robotic behemoth. 

"WAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA!!!!"

Sparks fly through the air as the reactor, having been pierced, begins to fry the warboss through the handle of his all-metal axe. I begin to smell the scent of burning fungus as the squig on his head lets go of its hold and falls to the ground.

I ride the ork all the way down before falling off right before he hits the ground, and landing on my butt with my hands between my thighs. I cough as the dust kicked up from the large green boi fills the air. I slowly stand up and walk over to the large robots corpse and yank the axe out of it before saying,

"Worry not, my green brother. This birb loli will carry on your legacy and lead the Greyskull clan to greatness. We shall grow to blot out the sun when we invade the Earth and take the shiny throne away from the emperor of mankind."

I hold the axe in my hands and close my eyes. I open my eyes and charge at the Tau, holding the axe that is many times larger than me above my head,

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

As I run at the Tau, the ground slowly gets further and further away from my vision as I grow taller and taller, until I eventually grow past the height of the trees around me. I'm already into the lines of the Tau as I realize…

"Oh. My strength is back. Alright then, enough fun."

I fly up into the air and send down a blast of energy, popping the planet like a balloon. A chunky balloon, that is. 

-----------------------------------------------------

Sorrest

da orky boiz iz ded. sadge.

realized i never actually uploaded this chapter. damn.

The One Patrons: Dan Nicolae Barzu