Chapter 31
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Birds chirped overhead and a soft wind creeped through the gazebo as Sheena ran her finger about the rim of her teacup. She studied the piping hot liquid within for just a moment before dropping a white sugar cube, watching it plop and create a ripple, then returned her attention to her parents seated across from her. Martin was dressed in unusually pleasant attire; a green vest atop a white collarless shirt buttoned to the top. Mother, as per usual wore a high-necked green gown with puffed sleeves, her own teacup held in front of her with both hands. 

“I suppose I ought thank you for agreeing to this meeting,” Sheena said, withholding the sigh that almost instinctively worked its way out. 

“I’m a reasonable man, Sheena,” Father said. “but what you’re asking truly defies reason. I can take to admit when I’ve been wrong but-”

“Aye? Can you?” Mother smirked.

“-that doesn’t mean this idea of yours is a reasonable one. Micah Lavoric, a part of our family proper? Sheena, I cannot stomach the thought. I cannot even abide you being near that abomination!”

“And yet you know that she is not Micah Lavoric,” Sheena said, taking a tiny sip of her tea and then lowering it to cool. “We are of a very few who are privileged to understand her origin. With that knowledge in hand you should be prepared to welcome her.”

“And what of your sisters?” Father demanded. “How would they feel about such a thing?”

“Aye we would be fine with it,” Desa’s voice rang out across the yard. The three of them turned to see both Desa and Elizabeth making their way across the yard, each dressed in varying shades of green. They ascended the three brief steps and stood before Sheena, Martin, and Colleen, hands folded in front of them. “How shouldn’t I like a new little sister to torment? Sheena’s of age now.”

“You’re both very busy women,” Father rolled his eyes. “And you live on the other side of Auglire.”

“I live three blocks west,” Elizabeth reminded him. “Desa’s not so far either. ‘Sides, we’ll take turns borrowin’ her.”

“Goodness gracious,” Sheena interjected. “Lyra’s not a library book!”

“No?” Desi rasied an eyebrow. “At the very least she’ll make a fine model for my sewing.”

“So you intend to use her as a window model?” Sheena demanded.

“Same as I used you,” Desi shrugged. “You can’t say to me that you don’t use her for your own pleasures.”

“Please don’t say it that way,” Sheena paled. Desi laughed.

“Tell us about Lyra,” Mother spoke up again. “What does she do now?”

Desi and Elizabeth made their way around the edge of the gazebo, taking a seat near Sheena and looking to her expectantly. Sheena looked to them, then back to her parents before taking another sip of her tea. She looked down, into the brown liquid, lost in thought as she tried to conjure up the words to describe it.

“Lyra….” Sheena took a deep breath and shifted in her seat. “is a complicated girl. But she is a teenage girl, so why should she not be? Who among us was not lost as a teenage girl, but for the guidance of our older sisters? She struggles. I’ve had her removed from service so that she may find herself, but even then she is lost and I worry for her. She walks the campus, visits the library from time to time, but above all she yearns to be useful. She rebels because she lacks structure; a structure that I cannot give her. But, despite her shortcomings, she is learning, whether she knows it or not. She is learning more about who she is and less about who she was, she is learning to feel, to think, and to understand. I see great changes in her but it’s not enough. I require help, she requires help and above all, she requires love.”

“Very moving,” Father said indifferently. “now, Sheena, supposing we do this, we must discuss your future plans. You cannot remain in the service of House Jenwise for your entire life. Your time of philanthropy must surely come to an end.”

“You cannot use Lyra’s health and development as a bargaining chip,” Sheena said firmly. “I am an adult, I will do as I please.”

“If you wish to go to university, you will need our money,” Father said insistently. “‘tis the least you can do if we’re to take on your charity case!”

“I beg pardon of you,” Mother suddenly interjected. “That girl has the Rossi name and I am inclined to believe that Sheena didn’t give it without forethought. Lyra is a member of our family whether you wish to acknowledge it or not. If you won’t take her in, then I will.”

“Nonsense,” Father scoffed. “I own this house!”

“And I own another,” Mother shrugged. “I could just as easily take up residence at the Maussen house, and she might be just as well off without a father, or perhaps she wouldn’t. The decision is yours, Martin Rossi.”

Father scoffed and took a sip of his tea before setting it down on the small octagonal plate. He chuckled and then turned to her. “Split up the Rossi family? You wouldn’t dare do that over some degenerate that Sheena took in. It would be madness, Colleen, madness!”

“Sheena,” Mother said, setting her cup down. “Ready Lyra to move into the Maussen house. Give me two week’s time to have the furniture dusted, at least.”

“She could dust it herself,” Sheena suggested. 

“I will hire two servants, such work is below Lyra now.”

“This is ridiculous,” Father said. “How long do you plan to keep up this charade?”

“Until such time as you come to your senses,” Mother shrugged. “in the meantime, Sheena, Lyra will be enrolled in a private school and will be brought up in the Rossi traditions.”

Fother scoffed again and set his teacup and plate on the table, standing with a start and storming out of the gazebo.

“He isn’t taking to it kindly,” Sheena pointed out. Mother shrugged.

“This will be for the best,” Desi said. “Sheena, I have read your letters and heard your concerns. The truth is, while you are doing your best with her, you’re expecting too much from her too soon. She is a girl who fell through not one, but two realities and has dealt with the horror of being trapped in a body that does not befit her. This…is enough to cause anyone upset, and you wish for her to behave as not only a proper young lady, but a Rossi with just a few stern words?”

“She speaks true, and I agree,” Elizabeth added. “I do love you Sheena, but it is time to defer to those who have more experience and resources. We will be gentle with her and we will help her to understand.”

“You cannot expect to be gentle all the time!” Sheena protested. “Sometimes punishment is necessary, especially with her!”

“I do not mean this with anything other than the utmost kindness, Sheena,” Mother said. “But you shoved a lifetime of training down her throat on a thirty minute airship ride and then took a rod to her backside. Let us not pretend that was ideal.”

“A little brash, I admit,” Sheena smirked as she recalled the memory. Mother rolled her eyes as Desi snickered. 

“Take heart in the the knowledge that we have other ways to keep her under control,” Elizabeth informed her. “The rod will remain an option, but your…direct methods are only sure to brew distrust in her.”

“While we are…on the subject,” Desi shifted uncomfortably. “A young woman by the name of Lilliana came to me on behalf of the Little Cogs Club.”

“Did Lyra find the Little Cogs Club?” Sheena perked up a smile beginning to emerge. “I was hoping she would!”

“Aye, she did indeed,” Desi confirmed. “They came asking after her well being.”

“I remember my time there,” Sheena smiled. “I rugged on you an awful lot.”

“Did you?” Elizabeth smirked. “Well tis what it is for, I would suppose.”

“On the contrary, dear sister,” Desi said. “Lyra ran in terror when she was asked to speak about you. The club should like to know if there is anything they can do for her.”

A silence fell over the group, and it was broken unceremoniously by Mother who began to let out a slow snicker, covering her mouth with her fist in a futile attempt to quell the noise. 

“They say she fell down a flight of stairs,” Desi added.

“Humor aside,” Mother said, leaning in to pour herself another cup of tea. “Sheena, my lovely daughter, what is it that you are afraid of?”

“Afraid of?” Sheena frowned. “In regards to what?”

“Think on it, Sheena,” Elizabeth said. “You are following tradition to the letter, but did we do such a thing with you?”

“Of course!” Sheena protested. “And I am better for it!”

“I think you will find that we did not,” Desi corrected her. “Every girl is different, and every girl requires different treatment. A girl who fell through the fabric of the universe and now has to learn to be a woman in a male body? She requires very different treatment.”

“So what are you afraid of, then?” Mother asked again. “Speak truth, my daughter.”

“I…” Sheena paused and collected herself. She stroked hear hair, tucking it behind her ear and then let out a strong exhale. “In…my time I have known two Lyra’s, though in truth there have been four. The Lyra who lived…in that other world, the Lyra who lived in the Stormveil, the Lyra who was Micah Lavoric, and now the Lyra who I consider to be a beloved but misguided sister. I see this fourth Lyra and I wish for her only the best but I am so very much afraid for her. When I look at her I see only Lyra, my sister, but she still sees him when she looks in the mirror. I can see it in her eyes, I can hear it on the edge of her voice. She is afraid that she is still him, though I see only her. She is so very afraid and I want her to feel safe, so I teach her in the best way that I can. I can teach her customs. I can show her how to hold her fork, how to smooth her skirt before she sits, how to walk, how to curtsey, all of those things. What I cannot teach her is how to love herself, and how to show her that the girl who lived inside her for so long is no longer inside, but out here for all the world to see. How do I show her that she’s beautiful? How do I show her that she deserves the love that I and others show her? How do I teach her that she is worthy? Stray thoughts fill her mind, she borrows worries that do not belong to her. I love that girl, mother, as you loved me, as my sisters loved me, and I want to scream it at her, I want to shake her and tell her that she is my sister and she deserves our love but how can I tell her what she won’t hear?”

Sheena wiped her cheek to intercept the tears streaming downward and squeezed her eyes shut. Desi shifted uncomfortably while Elizabeth rose and crossed the gazebo to deliver a much needed hug.

“Oh my dear sister,” Elizabeth smiled as she embraced her. “Do you not think we had these problems with you? To teach someone to love is one thing, to teach them that they are worthy of love is another entirely. But you were, and she is.”

“And this is where I fall short,” Sheena sniffled, her eyes red. “You can teach her what I cannot, I am…I have failed as a sister and a mentor.”

“You have not!” Desi interjected, rising from her seat. “You have not failed her because you are here! You have come to seek advice and to find what is best for her! And we will guide her Sheena, just as we guided you, just as we continue to guide you.”

“Prepare Lyra to make the move to the Maussen house in two week’s time,” Mother said. “I will require a list of her tutors so she may continue her lessons. She will do well, Sheena.”

“Two weeks? That’s all?” Sheena frowned. “I thought we’d have more time.”

“Oh Sheena,” Mother laughed. “Make time to visit her!”

“I will,” Sheena nodded. “I will.”

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