There was at least once in your lives that you wanted to be isekai’d, right?

You don’t need to be a weeb for that wish, any sane person who likes watching anime, reading manga, web novels or even fanfictions would surely wish to be isekai’d if not for once in their lives.

For me, I was isekai’d two times before, and now it’s the third. The first two lives took a lot out of my soul, enough for one to dread the thought of another world, wanting to cry out for their parents, with only a single wish.

“I want to go HOME!”

Well, they say the third time’s a charm. I can’t start to describe how miserably wrong those guys were.

In my first life, I was just another dude who was blessed with nice parents and worked my ass off to make something out of myself. I worked as the geeky computer guy in the Intelligence Bureau for three years before the great Truck-sama blessed me with his hallowed headlight before sending me off to a new adventure.

My second life was all sunshine and rainbows, born as Arima Kousei, I did my best to change the fates of the characters. Mum got a nice farewell, I lost my hearing inside a performance, met Kaori, got dragged back onto the stage, and got a handle on my situation.

Being the virgin, I was for both of my lives it was really hard to make the proper calls with Kaori and Tsubaki, but in the end, I did it, I opened a harem route.

My glorious life was going perfectly, and I even managed to deal with Kaori’s health issues, getting her an appointment with a talented doctor from abroad.

But yet again, while returning to Japan from a successful surgery, plane-sama decided to have a blast (literally).

I was out for another adventure, and this time I landed somewhere in the middle ages and it took me a while… well forever, to understand where I was until the father of my third reincarnation introduced himself as Eizo Auditore da Firenze.

My balls shriveled, and terror filled my eyes thinking about the fate I was going to be facing.

‘Training from Hell’ was an understatement for what I had to go through, and for the first time in my three lives, I had taken a human life.

I was shaken despite my total age which added up to be somewhere above seventy, and the next thing I found myself doing was shagging the beautiful bar woman who lived next door.

Believe me, when I say, she was ferocious in bed, my body was riddled with bleeding scars made by her teeth and fingernails.

Now that I think about it in retrospect, it was a heavenly experience overall. And on my third shot at life, I finally managed to ditch my virginity. Yes, there is nothing to boast about but I was proud of it, and I must admit, sex feels heavenly.

Slowly I got used to taking lives and still being fine with it like it’s just another tuesday morning. The only scary thing was not that I was growing numb to the value of human life, even my own. But honestly, I was enjoying it, the thrill of having my life on the edge of a blade, waking up each day not knowing if it would be my last.

My father was proud of me and boasted of how I was the perfect son to inherit his mantle.

Somewhere down the line, I was taught about medicine and poison by the creed seniors after being inducted ‘officially’.

I got to witness the French Revolution firsthand and yes, I was the fucking dick or the genius who killed … no, who ‘assassinated’ Napoleon Bonaparte in the battle of waterloo.

It felt weird, but yes, very challenging indeed. I took a lot of missions and finished them impeccably, earning me the name moniker Merciless.

After four years on the job, I no longer cared ‘why’, I was just concerned about the ‘who’, no one with their name on my table lived for more than a week and I was chosen to lead the creed by the time I was 28.  

 A voyage to visit the founder’s tomb in Syria was going according to traditional norms, when the ocean pulled a not-so-funny prank on us, by slapping us with a ruthless sea storm.

Ship-sama being the benevolent soul, generously drowned us to send me off to my next grand adventure.

And no, even if you know how to swim, a fucking storm in the middle of an ocean is not something you witness while swimming and live to tell the tale unless lady fortune finds you particularly attractive that day.

……….

Present:

I found myself standing before a grave as the memories kept flashing before my eyes, I was here, in this world, all those years, sharing smiles and tears with people, I could not help but feel the weight of the memories that I inherited from the body.

Well, now that I am here, I will live the best I can, as I have always done. I have been the best, no matter what, no matter which life, I left a mark in history, that I was there. Even after years pass, even if I am no longer in those worlds, I will be remembered, if not immortalized.

Exorcist, right?

Let the world prepare itself, for the birth of the Blue Exorcist.