I’m in a karaoke booth with Dewey. How did we get here? Well, we were arguing about who the best character in the show ‘Will you still love me’ is. He said we can decide by competition. The Winner’s chosen character will be the best.
It’s the first to three wins. I’m already up two games to zero. We counted the first fight, and this idiot challenged me to a tennis match for the next one. I obliterated him. Absolutely destroyed him.
I made him pick the next game again because I felt bad. He chose the thing he’s most confident in: Singing.
So here we are.
We’ve already sung twenty songs each, and we both scored a hundred on all of them. This karaoke place is special. It’s not one of those where you sing loud and score high. These are legit. It’s still a karaoke machine, though. If you’re a good enough singer, a hundred is easy. It can tell who’s great, but it can’t tell who’s greater. That’s why we’ve been stuck here.
This is an endurance match.
It’s Dewey’s turn next. May his voice crack and his tone be off. Please.
My throat hurts. It’s burning inside. I’m not losing though.
Dewey’s motioning for me to hand him the mic. I pretend to not notice. He’s trying to preserve every bit of voice he has left. I won’t let him. What I’m doing is cowardly? Please. It’s called strategy.
“Give me the mic!” says Dewey. Got him. I smile at him and he realizes his mistake. His face darkens. Success I hit the enemy army’s resources and morale at the same time.
I hand him the mic. Music fills the room. Dewey sings.
🎶🎵
“
Monday
The first day we met
Tuesday
We stayed until sunset
Wednesday
Love manifested in bed
Thursday
We argued, and both seemed upset
Friday
Should we stay or leave? Like a… roulette
Saturday
Is love really so easy to forget?
Sunday
As you leave today, I didn’t even fret
Is love this fast?
Is love this quick?
Is our love toast?
We no longer click!
…Love that was done at the… end of the weeeek!
“
🎶🎵
A hundred points!
That song he sang was also short, a little above two minutes. I’ve long run out of songs at that range. He has the advantage here.
I see a smirk on Dewey’s face as he tosses me the mic. Think this is all I’ve got? You underestimate my power. You may have song knowledge above mine. But. I have an ace up my sleeve!
Select a song! Start.
🎶🎵
“
Oh the chicken
It lays an egg
Oh it weakens
Cause it broke a leg
That’s so sad
But you’re mine
So I became a dad
Now don’t whine
Let’s go back to our house
Oh! it broke down
Well, I still have my spouse
Oh! she’s gone
Oh man, I’m such a clown
I sit down
And then have a meltdown
I go round town
Now I’m back to myyyy hometooown!
“
🎶🎵
A hundred points! That song was also below two minutes.
“The hell is that song!” says Dewey.
I don’t answer him. My hand holding the mic moves close to his face.
I know a bunch of these short garbage songs. It’s amazing that this place has them. These trash songs are stuck in my memory. The melody and lyrics are garbage.
I listened to a whole playlist of these songs by accident. One starry night, the young me was browsing videos on random. Then it hit me. Pain from my spear. It seemed like something was trying to detach from my body! I fell to the ground. I couldn’t move. The phone I was holding fell in front of me. Then the music played.
Why would someone even make a list filled with those songs, anyway? I found a use for it. Dewey grabs the mic from my hands.
🎶🎵
“
The love that’s true
It came to view
It’s just us two
Felt so brand new
As the wind blew,
And I pursue
This song too
I dedicate to you!
…
..
.
“
🎶🎵
Another hundred! His song finishes. I grab the mic right after.
🎶🎵
“
Bro!
Come, give me the glue
I’m getting so blue
Give me the shoe
That’s stuff I like to chew
Said I have a loose screw?
What else is new
I’m better you already knew!
Now you’re just beef stew
”
🎶🎵
A hundred again!
We go back and forth. Our scores are always ties. He found some short love song to sing and I continue with my trash short songs.
It’s our fiftieth song. Our scores have dropped to ninety flat. Still tied.
Dewey grabs the mic after my song ends. He sings.
🎶🎵
“
Is this love?
No, it’s all of the above!
You fit me like a glove
Now I’m free of the…….
“
🎶🎵
YES! Thank the Author! It’s done!
Checkmate. He opens his mouth, but no sounds escape until the song ends. He has a pathetic score of fifty!
Dewey is massaging his throat.
I take the mic from Dewey. The time is now! I acknowledge my voice fading.
This is my last move!
🎶🎵
“
Hire me! Don’t fire me.
Fire me! Require me.
Require me! Admire me.
Admire me! Acquire me.
Can be a fryer
Can be a flier
Can be a buyer
But not retire
“
🎶🎵
The score is sixty. My voice was disgusting and sometimes off key, but unlike Dewey, I finished the song.
It was a close match. But today I am victorious! The imaginary crowd grows wild!
“A deal’s…. a deal… Pay… up,” I say.
“No… This… can’t be!” says Dewey
Our voices are rough and hoarse. This was a stupid idea. I’m never doing this again.
“You… Lost.”
“No, this… can’t…. be! I’ve lost two…. hundred straight!”
Do you keep track of that? Am I on a two hundred win streak? That’s amazing for me and sad for Dewey.
“Say… it!”
“Empress Sabina…. is the… best character.”
Dewey falls to the ground.
Defeated.
