Ch: 20 The Heart of a Poet

“Do you think Shai looked upset when I put her to sleep?” Tawny asked, peering at her slumbering friend. “We had never really been close, before Gary that is. I only knew her through my work at the orphanage.”

 

Ivy whistled through her teeth softly. “Shai is tough, but she hangs all her feelings right out there, she will let you know.”

The two women were sprawled across the ridiculous bed, with plenty of room for Otho the dog’s massive redgold form. “We’ve never really talked, you and I,” Ivy began. “we don’t seem to have much in common.”

 

“Pish, we have friends in common, and your contributions to the group are vital. Our shared goals alone are enough to bridge any silly rank difference…” Tawny ground to a halt, watching the other woman’s face move from amusement, to annoyance and back to long suffering patience. 

 

“I’m an Adventurer and an orphan, your rank is meaningless to me because everyone outranks me. You guys all think you have huge swinging dicks granted by the gods, yes even the women.” 

 

Ivy scoffed at her mortified friend. “Sleepover talk gets real Tawny. It's lucky these two hellions are out cold, they would have ripped you to pieces over ‘silly rank differences’ for the next month. I’m only going to bust on you till they wake up”

 

Ivy scooted closer, pressing Tawny against Otho’s massive wall of mutt. “We are all orphans, you think you understand, but you never will. We don’t get choices, we don’t get freedom or a home to welcome our return.” 

 

Her blue eyes were startling, almost animal in the dim light of the bower. “Hanging out with Gary and Shai is starting to shine a light on some very dark corners Tawny, maybe some of those songs make more sense than we thought they did. Maybe…”

 

“What exactly are you suggesting, Ivy?” Tawny asked. “My sister married into the craft ward and now lives in the commons, is that not enough? Why must I prove my credentials to every orphan in turn?” She snapped, more fiercely than she intended.

 

“Jennah married an orphan Adventurer and was forced to move to the craft ward.” Ivy scoffed. “Now she waits, like every orphan’s spouse. If Eskan dies before his five years are up, she goes back to the noble quarter a widow, if he lives she becomes one of us.” She almost sneered at Tawny. 

 

“I think you know exactly what I am talking about. I think you are here, hoping for a miracle, so you can steal your boy from the clutches of the cult of War.” A chill settled over the room, making even the unconscious women curl together for warmth.

 

“Perhaps.” Tawny said, her voice crystalline and frosty. “Perhaps I will follow my sister in linking myself to one of War’s orphans, perhaps not. Why pray tell, must I prove myself to you?”

 

“Because they are my family, even the weird ones, even the new ones, even the ones adopted out. My family, not yours. I know that only one in ten of us makes it to the end of their five years.”

 

“That's simply not true, Ivy, I am in the cult of Healer, I get the casualty reports, War cultists overwhelmingly survive and re-enlist. The current mortality rate is under fourteen percent.”

 

“Oh, that’s nice for War cultists, what’s the mortality rate for just Adventurers?” Ivy sat back, waiting confidently for an answer. 

 

When none was forthcoming after a while, she rolled off the bed. “I’m going downstairs with the boys. Otho will watch these two for us, come on. You need to hang with us when Gary's not around being weird.”

Gary emerged from below, holding a tiny, frail boy in his arms. He had white blond hair and luminous pale skin, draped over a frame so fragile he seemed too delicate to live.

 

“Guys, meet the god Knowledge, he's been away for a while.” He hugged the thin form close. “Don’t worry, you’ll always be Secret to me.” Gary said, with a wide, insane grin.

 

“Gary, what do ye be thinking, ye kinnae just be dunking gods in yer pool and dandling them on yer knee, tis unseemly!” Shai complained, with Thirp backing her up in annoyed tones.

 

Becky waded through and past them to the pair and stuck out a hand. “Hi, I’m Becky, I think I can work with you, kid.”

 

He reached out slowly, his thin, pale hand taking hers. “Marduk, god of literacy and Knowledge, I hope to work with you too, sergeant Becky.” 

“Wait! I am not done scolding you!” Thirp sang, as he became immaterial to the waking trio. They vanished with a soft sound of waking yawns. 

 

He turned to the tiny godling floating in Gary’s bath. “Well I guess we have some work to do.”

The three woke together in the fanciful bower of fanciness, watched over by Otho the dog. 

 

“It seems your faithless lackeys abandoned the realm as soon as you were asleep. Victory for the boys side!” Gary gloated at the groggy ladies.

 

“Or maybe you were just too annoying, and they stored you up here with us?” Becky asked sweetly. “Like some hideous piece of old furniture that might come back in style someday.”

 

“Becky, that do be a double edged blade in yer mouth, best ye wake ere ye wield it.” Shai snorted. “Fer surely thou hast not come into full fashion yet?”

 

“Yuk yuk Shai, let’s go down stairs and find the others, Gary’s buddy is messing my insides up. I need to go for a run.”

 

That was how they found themselves running in the darkest hours of the night, making a full circuit of the town before trotting back in through the market gate. There was a curfew for commoners in the uplands, so the market gate had to do. 

 

The guards at the gate waved and gossiped happily as they ran by, preparing to add a new tale of late night weirdness to the already well fueled gossip engine.

Back in the pool, the Bathers were relaxing, preparing to interrogate the as yet silent Becky. 

 

Gary shattered the mood by cheerfully declaring: “Guard Olan’s armor and spear sure looked spiffy Shai, you did a great job!” He leaned in and whispered very loudly. “Some people slack off on a discount job, I’m so proud of you.” 

 

Shai’s expression was priceless. 

 

‘Gary is good for those, especially with Liam, Tawny and Shai.’ Dannyl thought as he watched. They were his three favorite subjects. 

 

Right now Shai was flushed with a fine mixture of anger and frustration. Even exhausted from a late night run, she was so clearly in love with the madman beside her it was painful to watch.

 

Dannyl spent a lot of time watching people, partly because he found gossip boring and people fascinating. The other part was that he loved to draw people, as he saw them in their unguarded moments. His secret sketchbooks were filled with the tiny joys and tragedies that befell his friends and siblings every day. Beloved faces, captured in real moments of emotion.

 

Dannyl filed that away to be sketched later, tucking it into the corner of his mind where his only active gift lived. What a gift! It sprang up a few days before, allowing him to summon any image he had ever seen and draw it exactly and with supernatural speed. 

 

‘If only I could get a Contract too…’ He thought, feeling guilty while feeling jealousy and feeling guilty about his jealousy.

 

Once Shai finished berating Gary over some strange trifle called ‘coopinz’, the gang settled down and Ivy asked what they were all wondering. “What happened?”

 

“Well.” Becky said, holding the pause for a breathless time. “I woke up in Gary’s weird soul house, the other one, not this one.”

 

“So Gary cornered his poor god and bullied him into getting into the magic bath, not this one the other one, and poof, he became a cute little boy...” 

 

She gasped in a breath, preparing to continue her assault. “You are missing a lot of context there Bec-...” Gary tried to begin before being trampled.

 

“So naturally I couldn't leave this innocent kid alone with Gary, I’m not a monster… that you know of.”

 

They turned to Gary for an explanation, as though they were one entity, even Becky and Shai. He sat on the curb of the pool, pulled out his guitar and began to strum thoughtfully.

 

After a long few minutes of silent contemplation he sat up straight, clapped his hands together, vanishing his guitar and said: “Yup, that’s it. Good night all. See you for monster smashing in the morning!”

 

As he wheeled on his butt to stand and leave, hands grasped his wrists and he was dragged back into the pool, kicking and struggling all the while.

 

When the others were brought up to speed, Shai and Becky dug their heels into his flanks and took the reins. They were merciless with the crop as well.

 

“So how did you know he was some other god?” They were still adjusting to the sudden pantheon shift. “What made you think that?” Ivy demanded.

Gary sighed. “It’s like I told Thirp, the spider guy, the cosmology made no sense. You have all the right gods, except you have writing, printing, paper making, even porno novelists… but no books? No real libraries? I’m not buying it. I can name four gods of knowledge off the top of my head from my world… and we don't even have gods.”

 

“Even his portfolio made no sense, Secrets? He was always complaining that most people's secrets were garbage!” He grumped, rising to his topic. 

 

“What is a secret if not knowledge that has not been shared, the smallest and weakest form of knowledge? And he has no cult? No followers? Can't  touch the living world?” He snorted with derision. 

 

“Somebody tried to murder the god Kowledge. They almost got away with it too!” Gary stalked the pool, leaving a turbulent wake, almost as though the water was moving aside for him.

 

“When we find out how and who did this there will be a reckoning. This is all of a piece, I can feel it. We are going to crack this case wide open.” 

 

“Is this another one of his fits?” Ivy asked quietly.

 

“Nae, tis some truth wrapped in some madness, as is his way.” Shai answered. “Some foul plot be afoot, an we must root it out an we are able.” She stalked about too, with the same effect in the water. “Tis summat frae outsiders, though Master Thirp do say there be summat happening here, tae help them.” 

 

Her eyes lit up with fury. “An we find these, we smash them tae flinders. Agreed?” There were nods all around, some more enthusiastic than others. “Aye wait till ye see one o the things, or their hideous zigg-rats. All meaty and vile, abomination be too weak a word.”

 

Gary hopped onto the edge and addressed the group. “Knowledge is super weak right now, but Tallum, if you are interes-...” 

 

The giant had a hungry look in his eye.”Tomorrow night?” he blurted out. “Can I sign up tomorrow night?” He turned to Becky. “Gary is dumb, do you think I can Contract tomorrow night Becky?” 

 

“I don’t know, he’s not much of a god yet and I only just Contracted, can you give me some time to sort it out?” Becky looked excited and a little out of her depths. Shai hugged her and glared daggers at her near brother.

 

“Dinnae push ye big lout, did ye nae learn better manners than to loom o’er these wee folk? Great mountain that ye are, naught but gristle twixt yer ears. Yer feet do shake the earth causing the small creatures no end o fright! None might ever see the sun for the shadow ye do cast. Let less be said fer yer hygiene, the stenches do vie wi a grown trapdoor fer rankness…” 

 

Tallum withdrew before Shai’s ultimate technique. Her stream of half baked insults would keep tumbling out in a singsong torrent. She once kept it up for an entire day after he accidentally walked in on her in the privy.

 

Fleeing to the mage’s side of the pool, there was a complex discussion going on. They had left the realms of his feeble magical education some time ago, he was lost at sea in terrible depths.

 

“So this ring forces harmonic resonance in the soul, that alone should do little.” Otho thought aloud. “Though it would make for a fine pair of wedding rings… Sorry, that will be a side project, remind me of that later Gary.”

 

“The wearer needs to have some compatibility with me for it to work, and they are completely in my power when in my soul house, so I’m not too worried.” Gary soothed the ruffled old priest. “I’m surprised the ring is the first thing you wanted to talk about.”

 

“I dare not even contemplate the theological turmoil currently sweeping the heavens. My lady Joy has been quiet these last hours. Certainly that is not unusual, yet I am troubled.” 

 

He stared at Gary in uncertainty. “The things you have said make me wish to don this ring and put you to sleep. Though that would be foolish indeed, your soul has seen too much traffic already.” 

“Do not become some interplanar hostel, that would demean your soul.” Otho’s usual broad wink came back to visit. 

 

“Enjoy your journey, when you return perhaps we will know more.”

They waited for the last of the elders to finish their morning bath, even though some seemed to be delaying their departure deliberately. 

 

Old Hannah was malingering, taking her sweet time with every step, as though she had not scampered into the pool like a spider monkey when the last of the older teens departed. First elder in, last one out.

 

“But I’m going to miss Mikkel for two whole weeks, I don’t know how you can take him away from an old woman… young rascals!” She leaned on her cane, trembling as though on her last breaths. “Taking an old widow’s last comfort away like that…”

 

Liam took the tiny old woman in his arms and rocked her gently. “Mikkel is not coming with us on this trip, your husband is alive and well Hannah, he’s waiting for you right over there.” He spoke softly and gently, as though to a lost child.

 

“I know that you young monkey!” She whacked him with her stick, right  across the knees. “Old Mikkel is staying here but without your magic bath, you might as well take him with you.” She walked off briskly, collecting her one legged husband from the crowd. “Best we make hay while the sun still shines, you old goat.” She grumbled.

 

The whole crowd of well wishers and chilly elders waved goodbye, while mocking old Mikkel ruthlessly. 

As their home evaporated behind them, a pair of older orphans trotted forward and began staking out and roping off the courtyard they had just left.

 

“That’s the new vegetable garden, I saw what you did to that hilltop down on the edge of the craft ward.” Ivy said with a wide smile. “When we get back, you are moving onto my old vegetable garden… for a while.” She declared, changing their address by sheer force of will.

They marched out in fine fashion, playing a joyful local tune called ‘A Morning For Sleeping’. It was fun and frisky with a simple toe taping beat. 

Shai had the violin out and her swinging backside playing in counterpoint somehow, harmonizing with her own instrument.

 

As they strolled out, Paul waved and fell into step with Tawny, speaking softly. 

“My aunt Helene is planning on attempting more mischief while you are away, is there any part of your friend’s home that I can secure for you?”

 

“I think you will shortly discover two things Paul,” Tawny replied. “First, Gary is now also your friend, and that comes with a certain amount of chaos in your life, learn to enjoy it. 

Second, lady Helene is going to receive an education in dealing with disappointment. I recommend you go along on her outing to enjoy the results.”

 

“Disappointment can teach some of life’s most valuable lessons…” Gary said, standing close enough that Paul could feel the warmth coming off him in the cold morning.

 

Somehow that mad boy had slipped up to them, completely unnoticed, despite playing that strange instrument all the while. “...and chaos reminds us to remain open minded. You should try some childlike wonder, it’s good for you.” 

 

He dashed off a quick riff to salute his big new friend. 

 

Together the small band marched out the gate, a cheerful group of young people heading out on an adventure. Paul stood in the gateway for a while, watching them walk toward the River Road. It was going to be pretty quiet in town for a while.

 

“Our route is downriver to Port Fallon, then over the coast to Port Ellis, then home by the Uplands Road. That should only be ten days by rights, that leaves plenty of time for clearing up any trouble we find.” Liam said as they walked. “I have a small fistful of notice board jobs for us, but expect surprises on the road.”

 

The biggest surprise on the road was that Gary had a whole plan for music lessons while marching. “We stay on the beat, we keep it with our feet!” The madman sang, creating nonsense songs about everything they passed.

 

Gary and Ivy took turns keeping the beat on a small drum that they passed back and forth whenever they needed a break. Each one in turn had to take the lead with an instrument and improvise, while tangled up in the strange magic that followed Gary and Shai everywhere.

 

“I can’t make up silly songs, it just feels so wrong. Trying to make up a rhyme, while staying in time… it feels like torture, you uncultured swine!” Dannyl sang, while strumming out a fine bit of music hall jazz.

 

“Oh, very nice!” Becky cheered, warming up for her turn while the group murmured appreciatively. She took a few bars to clear the air before starting in, low and slow with a mournful dirge, halving the beat of their footsteps. 

 

“There once was a woman named Shai, she fell in love with a troublesome guy.” Becky sang, grinning at the pair of them. 

“He knows all the songs and plays all day long, we never know if he remembered them wrong… cause none of his lyrics make sense.” 

 

She pranced forward to receive praise from the group at large, scattering cheerful notes through the winter morning.

 

“When did this become the ‘sing mean things at Gary’ game?” He grumbled.

 

“Shortly after you proposed that we start making up songs… how did you not foresee this outcome? Shai… have you been being nice to him? We talked about that!” Ivy went off to scold Shai, leaving him feeling like an idiot, some things just felt right.

Shai and Tawny had been hanging at the back of the pack, having some in depth conversation for a while. They kept shooting looks his way and seemed agitated, Gary wanted no part of whatever was going on over there.

“Thank ye Tawny, tis good tae deal wi such matters in plain talk, glad I am that I did nae shake thee about.” She said, hugging the small woman vigorously.

 

“The distinction is somewhat lost on me Shai, your hugs are violent enough already.” Tawny complained, when she was back on her own feet. 

 

Ivy swept the two up and pulled them back into the group, exercising that innate sense of social timing some people are blessed with. “We’re gonna stop for lunch, there’s a small nest of groundworms nearby. Tawny, Gary, Shai, you set up camp, we will get the groceries!” She trotted off with a happy bounce in her step.

 

Gary looked to the two women and shrugged. “That little rise looks nice, lunch with a view?” It was nice, just a little hillock rising above a gentle bend in the slow moving river. A few tumbled boulders graced the hilltop, looking down on the road and town far behind them. 

 

Tawny sat on a boulder and watched as the pair danced their home into being. She sighed in wonder at the display. Despite watching closely and being no stranger to the effect, somehow she could never spot the moment when the house arrived.

 

Like the pair themselves, the home was as mysterious as it was welcoming and friendly. ‘Try for that foolish boy indeed! Only a woman in love up to her eyeballs could put up with that level of madness.’ She thought to herself, watching their antics.

 

Unbidden, thoughts of dancing with Liam on their last outing sprang to mind. With a wicked grin she checked on her secret weapon, secure on her belt. “Tonight will be different!” She whispered fiercely as her friends finished, and embraced on their doorstep.

 

The rest of the troupe returned shortly, carrying the remains of a  dozen plump, delicious vermin. 

Liam called out when they arrived. “Gary, come walk the perimeter with me.”

With a shrug, he kissed his woman and trotted off to patrol. Once in the woods Liam spoke softly. “I’m worried about Becky, things are happening fast for her and Dannyl both. He said. “She’s still little Becky in my mind, I haven’t come to grips with sergent Becky the Adventurer yet.” He clasped his big, crazy comrade on the shoulder. “Help me keep an eye on her, ok?”

 

“Way ahead of you brother, Hannah finished some leather armor for her last night.” He grinned. “I thought we could give it to her tonight as a group. Shai would stake me out on an anthill if I let anything happen to her little sister.”

 

“Just so we’re clear, if anything happens to any of you, I will murder the survivors.” Liam said with a lopsided grin. “Let’s get back to camp”

 

Shortly after the band got underway, a slow, wet snow began. It dropped in big heavy flakes that melted into clinging slush on anything it touched. When the first fat droplets of rain began it was almost sunset. 

 

They had the house put up, just as the rain started in earnest. The location, a pleasant roadside meadow, was not bad. There was a fire ring indicating that travelers camped there occasionally and most of the stones and brush had been cleared away… not that it mattered.

 

Damp and cold, they gleefully shed their wet things and slipped into dry clothes, postponing dinner until their toes were warm again. 

“Winter travel sucks hard.” Gary announced, as though revealing some deep secret of the universe.

The sales floor was gone, leaving an open common room anchored by the fireplace and pianoforte. That left plenty of space to spread out. The only real surprise was Thirp’s chandelier, dangling in understated and natural elegance from the ceiling, here just as it was in the land of dreams.

 

“Ooo! That spider do be a fine fellow after all!” Shai exclaimed, spinning across the floor barefoot. The warm, pearly light and scent of flowers soothed her nerves like mulled wine.

 

By silent accord they left Shai’s new bedroom as it was, while providing separate normal bedrooms for the others. Though one did have a king sized bed suitable for their resident giant and his comparatively tiny lady. 

 

Armor stands in each room magically warmed and dried their gear, providing unparalleled winter luxury.

 

Once comfortable, they were gathered together, cooking and chatting the evening away. No one was surprised when the music started, even less so when Shai began dancing soon after, bringing her chimes into the mix.

 

Tawny, in the sleeveless brown robes of her cult, stood and held her hand out for Liam, in an unambiguous invitation to dance. Her hands were sheathed in golden brown gloves of fine silk, all the way up to her shoulder. 

 

“Jennah thought I might need gloves on this journey, I think she was correct.” She said with an easy smile that seemed very comfortable on her face. 

Shai swooped in and whispered in Gary’s ear while he played. “Slow the music boy, that be a smile we nae see often. Ye do know what is needful.”

 

With a smile, Gary pulled the band into a slower pace, wrangling them with his gift. Pulling them through a sweet and tender rendition of ‘As Time Goes By’. 

 

He let them float on the outro while the band improvised. Those two just kept drifting around the dance floor, separated by a thin layer of silk.

 

Nobody wanted to disrupt the moment, Liam and Tawny kept dancing even after a knock sounded at the door. 

 

Not a loud knock, though it drew a surprisingly high pitched yelp from Tallum, who happened to be nearest the entrance. 

 

Gary tried to chin waggle and eyeball bulge Tallum into getting the door, but the big doof was too shy. He just sat there, panic stricken. 

 

Dannyl shot Gary a desperate look when he stopped playing and set his guitar down. “Just groove kid, follow Ivy, she’s got you.” He whispered, trying to preserve the vibe.

 

He shot back the peephole, revealing a man in the red armor of a mainline War cultist. “Yes?” Gary asked, opening the door fully. “What brings you to our door sir?”

 

“This is an inn, no? I need a room for the night and a meal, and a stall for my horse.” He tossed a copper bit to Becky, who had come to see what was happening. “Brush her down well, I don’t see the stables…”

 

“Now look here buddy-...” Shai’s firm hand clamped down on his shoulder like a vise. She steered him away from the door and into the arms of Tallum.

 

“Welcome sir knight, we shall see what accommodations we have available for the evening. Please, do try these slippers.” 

 

She had the as yet unnamed man out of his boots before he fully realized what was going on. “Dannyl, stop playing wi yer toys an come show this goodly knight to the bath!”

 

Her transformation into an innkeeper was almost as surprising to Gary as the willingness of the others to just go with it. 

 

He slipped on his boots and coat and went out to find the horse in question… not that he had any idea what to do with it. 

 

“Do we even have a stable?” Becky asked, following him outside. 

 

“We do now, it’s just inside the garden gate.” Gary answered.

 

“We have a garden gate?” She asked with a grin.

 

“We do now, we can keep this up all night kiddo. It's cold, dark and I don’t know anything about horses, so I hope you do.” 

 

The horse in question was placidly waiting, tied to a bush just outside the ring of lamplight at the door.

 

Gary balked at the size of the beast, Tallum could ride the damn thing. 

It stood so high, Becky could not even reach the creature's mane. Undeterred, she whistled loudly to get it’s attention, then just strolled up and took the reins. The massive creature followed along as though it had known her all its life. “Get the gate Gary, it's cold, and you don’t know anything about horses.”

 

“Look out horsie, the little one has a mouth on her.” He complained as the gate trundled open. 

 

A small stable was nestled up against the house, snug and warm. Its walls were the same river stones and a trough of clear, running water sparkled in the lantern light. No doubt it came from and drained into whatever crazy magic Gary’s house possessed.

 

“I don’t have any hay… plenty of wood shavings and sawdust for bedding though!” Gary seemed inordinately proud of that.

 

“Yeah…” Becky sighed. “Help me with the saddlebags first, don’t unbuckle…” 

 

She sighed again, as he helped her up from beneath the mound of tack that collapsed onto her a moment before. “Bring the baggage inside before you hit- err... Help me with anything else.” She ordered. 

 

With saddlebags over his shoulder, Gary closed the gate and went inside. Shai already had their guest cracked out of his armor and in the bath. “I hae settled his lordship in the blue circle room, do place the baggage in there boy.”

 

“You run a fine inn mistress Shai, though some of your staff seem… inexperienced.” He said, lounging around in a conjured robe like some nobleman… 

 

‘Riiiight…’ Gary thought, as the penny finally dropped.

 

“Oh, ye do mean poor Gary, he do be moon touched, tis a gentle madness though. He do be a fine carpenter and fair tailor.” She eyed his gear, laid out on the armor stand. “Aye, take your ease my lord, all shall be tended to.” She turned to her mate and gently scolded. “Go, gather my lord’s armor and garments, there be work tae do!”

 

With an armload of funky leather and cloth, he headed to the workshop. “Are you gonna really make me do this guy’s laundry?” He asked, wide eyed.

 

“Aye, and ye shall mend his smallclothes an they need it. Tis a matter o hospitality.” She answered smoothly. “Tis my fault, I dinnae think o what might happen an a traveler happened by…” She looked embarrassed by that oversight. “No matter, tis a cold and wet night, I should hae taken him in regardless. He do be kin.”

 

Gary looked startled by that. “He’s an orphan? But you called him ‘milord’ and ‘lordship’ what gives?”

 

“He do be a common warrior, an a messenger on duty at that, tis a dishonor tae deny aid tae such, e’en were he nae kin. Which he is boy. Ye do hae problems wi some o War, but none here nor now. Mind ye?” 

 

She waggled a finger in his face. “By tradition we do extend courtesies to any knight o War or Order whether they do be noble or not, tis a custom that does irk the nobility.”

 

“Orphan, check, no problem. He’s welcome, yes ma'am. Why the innkeeper act though?” He asked.

 

“Dae ye really want him going back wi stories o the orphan wi a gift like this?” She boxed his ears lovingly. “Ye would be chained tae some fat, lazy noble as little better than a butler. Fie on that, ye hae secrets tae keep boy, guard them well.” She started filling a laundry basin, smiling all the while. “Ye hae laundry tae do, as well boy.”

 

While she worked on the metal parts, Gary did the wash and tucked a few stitches through here and there. It was relaxing really, as long as he ignored certain facts. Like that it was some stranger’s codpiece he was reinforcing with waxed linen thread and bullhide. Or that a strange man was currently upstairs in one of his bedrooms.

 

“What do we do in the morning when he realizes this is not an inn?” Gary asked.

 

“An how will he tumble that fact? Dae ye plan tae tell him? Fool! He will go on up tae Wheatford, an we shall continue on. Ne’er tae meet again I should think.”

Gary was in the corner, quietly putting the newly cleaned and repaired armor onto the magical heated rack. Meanwhile his ‘guest’, knight Imran Khan, feasted on grilled groundworm and root vegetables at the table in the corner of his room. 

 

Shai’s quick thinking had conjured a fireplace that consumed actual firewood, a table and chairs and an en suite privy to complete the simple inn facade. She had confidence it would pass as the best room in a good roadside inn.

 

Gary sketched an inexpert bow, as he tried to ease his way out of the room, but the man caught him with a raised hand. “Wake me at first bell, no later, have my horse ready to ride before second. Do not disturb me without need before then.”

 

“Very good milord” Gary said, trying to sound like anything other than annoyed.

 

Once the door was closed, he conjured a ‘do not disturb’ sign shaped like a big pink fluffy asshole and popped it onto the door where it adhered with sphincter power.

 

Becky grabbed him by the hand and led him into the kitchen. 

“Ohh, do we finally get to eat and bathe? Cause that would be nice.” He grumbled, while piling into the food with his family all around.

 

“Deal wi it tonight, ye big bairn, we shall nae mistake that again. We shall stop off the road, an nae porch lights.” Shai said firmly.

 

“I like porch lights, makes it feel more homey…” Gary sulked while eating like a stray dog. “So if anybody knocks on the door we gotta pretend to be a motel until they go? What if they like it so much they wanna stay?”

 

“Stop sulking Gary, it's one night, trust me. You don’t want anyone to find out you have such useful gifts, until we are free of War. Lady Helene could have you assigned to her household with a word.” Tawny warned. 

 

“If he comes out, we need not lie, simply play our roles. I am simply a traveling healer, Liam and Tallum are my guards, Becky is my maid. Ivy, and Dannyl you work here in the kitchen. He will believe that and ignore anything else.” 

 

Gary grumbled and complained, but a high mahogany desk appeared near the foyer, a shining silver bell prominently displayed. “I can’t believe I’m still wearing pants!” He said while making for the bath. 

 

“Pants be in yer future fer a while yet, Becky does bunk wi us tonight, I could nae create another room wi the space we did have.” 

Shai whispered very softly in his ear. “She hae never slept alone afore.”

 

He whispered back with a wink. “Shouldn't she bunk with Tawny, for the cover story?”

 

“Mayhap ye should sleep wi Liam? Though I did hear we hae a stable now…”

 

“Welcome aboard sergeant Becky! Good to have you!” He chimed, all smiles and welcoming gestures.

 

After a good long soak, they stumbled off to their quarters. Becky followed Gary and Shai, while Tawny sat up with Liam, chatting across the sofa from each other.

 

Upstairs in their room, armor stands held their gear. Gary and Shai pointed to the third rack, holding Becky’s familiar rapier and buckler, as well a suit of dark brown fitted leather armor like the rest of the non Gary bathers wore.

 

“Mine?” She squeaked. The pair nodded.

 

“Hannah finished it just before we left, the whole gang wanted to give it to you, but we have a guest.” Gary said sourly.

 

“I know I’m putting you out, but I never… and we’re…” Becky mumbled softly as she trailed off, looking just a little lost..

 

Gary swept her up and tucked her into bed beside Shai with a grin. “You’re always welcome kiddo, besides, you never need to sleep alone again. I think you can get to our dream house from anywhere, and we are always there in one way or another.” He flopped in on the other side of Shai and curled up close. “Goodnight girls, see you soon.”

He trundled down stairs and found Thirp and Marduk sitting in the reading nook, enjoying some things from his big box of guilty pleasures. 

 

“I admit I do not fully comprehend this legend, nor do I pretend to grasp the social nuance in this work… yet, it is compelling. Tell me more of this hero, ‘Pootie Tang’ please.” Marduk said, seeming deeply interested.

 

“I hid that box for a reason, that is all the things I’m embarrassed to enjoy. If you want to analyze ‘Bikini Jeep Rally’, be my guest, but maybe start off with something more substantial.” He griped. 

 

“Why don’t you try literature or scien-... no, scratch that. Never mind. Forget I said anything. ‘Rocky Horror Picture Show!’ that’s what you wanna see!”

 

“What was that thing you were going to say Gary? You know you cannot keep secrets from me…” He warned, seeming faintly ridiculous in his frail and childish form.

 

“I can and will. You are in my home, under my protection. A being of class and dignity would respect my privacy, and in matters of conscience, rely on me.” Gary prodded. “If you cannot trust my judgment, how can you trust my protection?” 

 

The tiny godling crossed his arms smugly and smiled. “For a being at your level of development to have so much unfettered access to the underpinnings of reality and the workings of your own soul is truly remarkable. Hidden here, in the scattered wreckage of your mind is everything you have ever seen, heard, read or learned.” 

 

He smiled sweetly “It’s all packaged up in a non linear, subconscious dream realm. You may not remember flipping through the encyclopedia when you were bored and stuck in a group home, but it is all in there.”

 

“If you try and bring things from my world into this one, I will bundle you up and cast you into the void here and now, godling.” Gary snarled with animal ferocity. “You are dipping into a poison well and I will not be party to ruining a world already fucked.” 

 

He turned and smiled with charm and wit. “Hello ladies, we were just wondering when you would join us.”

 

Shai and Becky were on the stairs, frozen mid step by the aura in the room. Little Marduk looked even more pale and wan than last time and the women rushed over to check on him.

 

“He’s fine, we just disagreed on matters of personal autonomy and privacy.” He smiled and nodded at the small figure. “We settled that, right buddy?”

 

“We did indeed, though further discussion will be warranted later.” Marduk replied icily.

 

“Just so we are clear, no ‘he said she said’, no ‘I didn’t understand’ nonsense.” Gary said calmly.

 

“If bullshit from my world starts popping up, you are out. If Becky wants to take your ass in, that’s fine, but we will be done. I’ll pinch your Contract off like a hot turd.” He made a closing fist gesture to hammer the point home.

 

“You're a poet Gary, really classy. Why are you bullying the kid?” Becky demanded, interposing herself between them.

 

“He’s been pawing through my brain looking for goodies. He doesn’t know that they are all poison, no matter how shiny the package.” Gary growled. “If I can’t trust him with dangerous things, he can’t be a guest in my house.”

 

Shai pressed up into his face, swatting him firmly on the cheek a few times. “Boy, settle! Ye do get aggressive when pressed on these things, tis better ye let me deal wi them.”

 

He summoned a sofa and sprawled into it, casting irritated glares at the godling. Thirp was in the garden, studiously pretending ignorance of the whole affair.

 

Shai wheeled on Marduk, brandishing a mildly blasphemous finger under his divine nostrils. “Gary do clearly worry that trinkets frae his old world be unfit here, I say ye should wait. Betimes ye may see he be right, perhaps he may gain perspective. Fer now, dinnae vex him further. An he play fer ye a song called ‘Gimmie One Reason’, ye be in deep shite.”

 

She wheeled on him, glaring fiercely. “Dinnae be smug, I did scold yer deity for thee, but ye be as dumb as a sheep wi none o the sense.” Her long, scarred finger waved under his nose in reproach. “Fighting wi a god in yer own soul when troubles unknown do descend on the world! Fie! Settle this ere’ I cuff ye both about the ears.” 

 

She scooped up the godling and marched off with Becky saying: “We hae a brother, Tallum. He do be a good fit for thee…”

 

“Don’t skulk, Thirp, its beneath your dignity.” Gary called out into the garden. “You are truly welcome in our home as long as you wish to stay.”

 

Thirp came hopping back inside, still obviously uncomfortable. “I had hoped that a bit of lighthearted nonsense would distract him, my apologies Gary.”

 

“I assume our little friend ignored any good advice you may have given him.” Gary said shaking his head wryly. “No, don’t answer, he needs to trust us. Let's start by trusting each other.” 

 

Thirp rubbed his front pair of legs together, the soft rustling sound was his species’ natural laughter. “Gary my friend, it will truly be a shame when Miss Shai finally spins her egg sack around you.”

 

Gary left that hanging out there for a while, just to see where this might go. Finally, he could not take it anymore, mostly because Thirp was watching an episode of ‘The Golden Girls’ in rapt wonder. “Did you have any questions for me about human culture or biology?” Gary asked. 

 

“No, it all seems fairly straightforward.” He sang. “When the little humanlings erupt from your chest cavity, they will be ready to begin independent lives and grow into fine examples of your species. I am certain Shai will tell them all about you.” His harp gave a long and tranquil sigh of satisfaction. “Family is the greatest blessing, is it not?”

 

“Thirp, you are deeply cool bro, but do not tell Shai that story. Let me set you straight on a few things…” Gary said, cuing up the video from his fourth grade health class.

“Well that was distressing, it does explain your fixation on whose parents are still alive… I had been wondering.” Thirp had a skill with his instrument that Gary could only marvel at, he made it mutter in bewildered tones of confusion and interest.

 

“That also sheds light on the magical structures at play in your Contract business.” He began lecturing in a few chord changes, sounding authoritative. 

 

“Each distinct reality forms its own magical frameworks, based on the sentient races that develop there. Their collective dreams and ideas form the basic pattern, eventually creating a unique magical ecosystem. On your new world, Contracts seem to have become the norm now, though I suspect it was not always so.” 

 

He hummed on his instrument, sounding thoughtful. “Marduk will become stronger in the coming days, though I doubt he will be capable of much without a proper cult.”

 

“Becky is already trying to sell him on another friend of ours. I guess he’s my brother in law?” Gary scratched his head in confusion. “It's all very complicated, you will be meeting Tallum soon I’m sure.”