Ch: 38 It’s An Adjustment

After coffee, breakfast and a bath, They packed his still confused and befuddled form into the cart and rode off. Leaving the overlook behind, just a little less stoney and barren than when they arrived.

 

An uneventful day of travel brought the motley group to rest on a hill overlooking a familiar valley. Wheatford’s lights were visible in the distance, after a far less impressive sunset. 

 

Shai poked Gary in the shoulder gently, setting him adrift in the bath. “Mmm? Sorry love, my brain is all fuzzed out. I’m gonna sleep in the grotto tonight, after I dust my skull with enough pollen to keep the gods away.” He mumbled. “I feel like I’m looking into the fog… something is just out of view.”

 

“Ye shall see it when tis time, we shall sleep damp again, thee and me. Tomorrow we be home and ye shall be fully healed, ‘ere we travel again.”  Shai shoved him off to the depths of the pool, he drifted until the steam engulfed him.

 #

 

Morning arrived with a mild jolt, there were strangers in his home again. Two men, a woman, a child and a dog were in his big public bath, accompanied by Tawny and Otho. 

He robed himself and meandered out, from pure idle curiosity, leaving Shai and Becky curled up together in the grotto. A very exhausted Tawny was speaking soft and earnestly with a young couple, while a young man, perhaps seventeen, watched over a small girl and her tiny puppy in the pool with Otho.

 

The huge red dog was paddling about at low speed, while the child held his bushy tail and giggled as the water slid past, while she held her little curly haired dog close. 

Gary kept himself small and sneaky with Familiar Stranger, dialing it all the way up to ‘Who’s that, where?’ as he slipped down into the workshop to clear his head.

 

When he emerged two hours later, just before true dawn, Shai and Becky were up and doing things. 

He could feel the child and puppy, asleep together in his wacky grotto with Otho. The older members of the group were in the guest rooms, passed out.

“Gary, we have guests…” Becky said, looking anxiously at Shai.

 

“Don’t get all like that kiddo, I’m still me, just got a lot on my mind and too many people inside me… speaking of…. who are our guests?” He asked with a huge yawn.

 

“They're local farmers, the Kang family. They were headed for Wheatford to the temple of Healer. Their youngest daughter, Minh, got bit by a small trapdoor.” Becky slid him a huge mug of coffee. “One set up in their vegetable garden to hibernate. If you step on their burrows in winter things get ugly fast.” 

 

“I assume Tawny took care of things last night, is the beastie done for?” Gary asked while worshiping his dark goddess, Lady Coffee.

 

“Dannyl and Liam rode out to smush it half an hour ago. They should be back in an hour.” Becky seemed pleased to be excluded from the jaunt.

 

“Perfect, I have something to try out.” He smiled wide and happily. “You and Shai spar against me for a little while, then Tawny can heal me.” 

#

 

Fifteen minutes later the two women were armored and waiting with wooden practice weapons while Gary strapped his new armor on… like an idiot.

He dressed himself in a perfectly ordinary padded cloth arming coat and leggings. Then he kept striking odd poses and saying strange things. 

First he leapt out the door, took a wide, arms akimbo stance and shouted “For great Justice!” before summoning a new suit of very Gary armor around himself.

 

With a mildly disconcerting shimmer in the air, a set of strange, slightly squared off pauldrons, breast and back plate attached themselves to his torso. Meanwhile, his arms and legs seemed to almost grow an armored exoskeleton. 

 

Plates of deep red chitin covered most of him, with boiled wallowbear leather and braided cords of trapdoor silk covering the gaps and binding the suit together. It seemed to hug the mad creature almost like a living thing, clasping itself around him.

 

“I gotta work on my zentai poses…” Gary muttered, pulling on a helmet made of the same deep red material. He finished it with a mask, whose cheek guards called to mind some hideous alien insect. “Whadda you think girls? I’ve been working on this for a while.”

 

“Ye look like some horrid bug frae a child’s nightmares boy. Be that crawdaddie chitin?” Shai laughed, hugging Becky to hold herself upright.

 

“And death’s head locust too, but that's just the outer layer. Under that is a cross grained laminate of haunted plum wood, monster bone glue makes a really tough plywood.” He smiled so proudly, his face visible behind the awful mandibles of his menpo.

 

“The whole thing is inscribed and enchanted with everything I could stuff into it.” He bounced lightly on his toes and laughed. “Let’s head out on the road, so we dont disturb our guests, looks like they had a long night.”

 

“I enchanted the living shit out of the whole thing as an experiment.” He said as they strolled across the road to a small clearing. “This is the first time trying it, so really go after me. I’m just gonna defend.”

 

With a simple wooden staff, he faced them across a scrubby winterbrown clearing and blew a cloud of steam through his mask.

The women sighed and nodded to each other before leaping at him. “Aye, we will whomp thee.” Shai said, while dancing forward with a shimmering chime and slashing at his torso with her longer sword.

He bounced back lightly, while Becky came in from the left, probing and feinting with her rapier. Gary’s staff intercepted her rapid pokes, even knocking her out of line a few times. 

The two pressed him with constant attacks, Shai battering at his arms and legs when he defended against Becky. The little hellion  took to poking at his vitals whenever he tried to drive Shai back with a spin of his staff.

The trio danced around the clearing, the noise and clatter of wooden weapons made a staccato and chaotic beat.  One that Gary and Shai both tried to wield against each other in a subtle battle, beneath the surface of the physical sparring match. 

 

Shai’s bells gave her the edge, letting her pull Gary and Becky into a seamless dance. That wound up with Gary bent backwards over a fallen log, while the two women held their sword points inches from his face. 

“We did well wi that staff boy, an ye seem whole after that beating… yer new armor be a loss though.” Shai said with a grin, while helping him up off the log.

 

It did look pretty beat up, most of his chitin plates were cracked or split. His right pauldron was almost torn off and one mandible pointed to his ear instead of jutting forward menacingly.

“Yeah, let’s have a short break, then try again. I have a new weapon to try out too.” Gary said as his armor vanished, leaving him in his underlayer of deep brown padded wool.

 

“That be good protection, an it did nae be so fragile, ye must make summat more hardy and tough.” Shai said, softening her critique with a smile. “Twas an imposing appearance though. Ye should fancy it up an wear it fer winter’s night.”

 

“Yeah, I couldn't get a decent hit at all, until those plates crack it's pretty tough to get through.” Becky mused. “It’s almost like you were shifting them around on yourself a little. Made it hard to find any gaps.”

 

“Good eye Becks, was it your aura sense that tipped you off?” Gary chuckled. 

 

“Yeah, what was that, it was almost like you had eyes in the back of your head. You were never that slick before, getting rid of your limp shouldn't have done that much.” She complained.

 

“My what?” He asked, genuinely puzzled.

 

“Your limp, the way you walked before Sonja did whatever she did to you.” Becky said, flatly and just a little miffed. “Were you holding out all this time?”

 

Now it was his turn to look miffed and confused. 

“Aye, tis true, Ye could nae see it. Twere ingrained in yer gait and stance boy. Sonja set me an Tallum straight an so she did for thee.” 

Shai swatted him on a padded shoulder with gusto. “Ye stand an walk straight now. Gunnar hae already offered tae instruct ye in the dance when we be home. Fer ye still be a middling dancer at best.”

 

“I do feel… taller? That’s weird, I guess I owe Sonja more than just some candy.” Gary stood from his fallen log and stretched. “Well, break is over, let’s go again.”

 

He jumped, made a half turn and shouted complete nonsense. “For the Magic of Friendship!” He landed in a strange half squat with his arms out flung dramatically while his strange armor reappeared around him. 

 

“No, magical girl transformations don’t do it for me…” He mumbled. “Do you think Otho could teach me his magic fireworks trick when we get back? My secret identity reveal needs special effects.”

 

“Gary, is that a second suit of crazy armor?” Becky asked, looking him up and down. 

“Nope, still the same.” He said with an infuriating grin.

 

“Nae, I did break those plates meself, twere shattered well an true!” Shai griped, poking his torso with her finger. “Tis unmarred…” 

 

“It’s all monster parts, I enchanted it from the first stitch, one piece at a time. It’s almost a part of me now, so it heals itself when I stow it, as long as all the parts are there, it can put itself back together. It’s based on the effect that keeps your bells from wearing out.” He laughed in the full throated way they hadn't heard in a while. “Tallum gave me the idea, he and I have been working on some secret projects… things could get a little weird when we get home.”

 

Gary’s plain staff vanished and reappeared shorter, at about five feet, with a bronze knob at each end. Bronze rings of various sizes and gauges pierced the staff near each end, they jingled merily when he gave the odd weapon a twirl.

“I’ve been thinking about that crawdad fight… he snipped me up so easily, because I was playing his game.” He kept spinning and tossing the baton as they warmed up, making it sing a happy jingling song. “You guys have been teaching me how to fight like you do… but I’m not like you. I can't fight the human way cause I’m not human.”

He grinned even wider. “I could have had that crawdaddie dancing to my tune all day, instead I tried to feed myself to it.”

 

“Ok ladies, I’m still only gonna defend, come at me with everything. Let’s see if I’m on the right path.” He hopped back as he spoke, creating distance and beginning to twirl his baton more aggressively.

The girls split up and circled to his flanks, forcing him to choose which to face or flee. Gary’s gift started as soon as he got moving, tugging and coaxing the women onto his beat. He ducked Shai’s first swing and circled around behind her when she slipped on some loose soil. 

 

While Shai got her footing, he slipped back around and blocked Becky’s rapier, just before she could poke him in the ribs. He spun his weird weapon and the rings threaded through it squealed in a very distressing way, right by her ear. There was no way it should have been that loud naturally. 

She danced back, shaking off the spine tingling sound. “Ohh, tricky. That was awful!” Becky yelled. “Look out Shai, that thing makes noise!”  Gary was grinning while he shook the baton up and down making it ring out like a strand of bells. He circled, shaking a beat out of his crazy device, while twirling it to make the rings sing a sweet chiming chord.

 

Shai pressed the attack, striking for his hands, trying to disarm him. Somehow, he was never quite where she hoped he would be and the ground was strangely treacherous.

Becky came slashing by at a sprint, trying to open him up to Shai’s attack. Her blade glanced off his baton just as she caught her foot on a tree root. 

 

That brief stumble left her vulnerable, Gary reached out and flicked the back of her head with a joyous laugh. “I finally got Becky! That wa-...” Shai’s shorter sword clipped him behind the ear, sending Gary for a short nap. 

 

Gary woke with Tawny standing over him, her wand shoved up his right nostril. “I have an actual patient today you fool. Good job tagging Becky.” She used her nasal leverage to drag him to his feet rather unkindly.

“Oww! If there's a booger on that, don’t blame me, woman!” He griped, as he followed the three ladies back inside. 

 

“Gary, these are your guests, the Kang family.” Tawny said, eyeing him carefully. 

 

He waved at them, feeling foolish and awkward to his toenails. “Hi! Gary, Shai! Becky!” He said. Pointing to each in turn, before giving up. He grabbed Shai by both shoulders and shoved her forward, then tried to pretend he was somewhere else. 

Fortunately, Familiar Stranger came to his rescue, making him fade into the furniture like an old throw pillow. 

Shai kept throwing furious glares at him while she accepted the thanks of the family, promising to stop by their farm if the band should pass again before they would relent and let her escape.

 

“Gary Ward, an we have guests ye shall nae hide frae yer obligations!” She had him cornered by the pianoforte, wagging an iron hard finger under a nose still tender from being wanded by Tawny. “What mean ye, hiding leaving us tae see tae yer guests?” She demanded, while the others gathered round for the show.

 

“Hey, I never invite anybody in or throw anybody out. I don’t remember opening an inn, that was your choice!” Gary grumped. “I just want to live a quiet life making noisy instruments.”

 

Shai stared at him for a while, her face shifting between confused, angry and concerned. “Tawny, Ye were among the first tae see this house, what be it?” She asked her golden friend.

 

“Its an inn. No doubt.” She said.

 

“Becky, ye hae read some o Gary’s picture books in his mind, what be this place in his world?” She asked her sister.

 

“Hey, those are manga, not pictu-...” Gary’s mouth snapped closed when Shai glared at him.

 

“It’s an inn for sure. There is a whole section of his brain labeled ‘fanservice’ that is full of inns just like this, they call them ‘Onsen’ weird huh?” Becky seemed proud of her betrayals. She really was an awful child.

 

“I dinnae open an inn ye fool, ye did. Ye hae been fairly demanding tae have people come over since ye first appeared. Fie!” She sighed long and low. “I do keep forgetting how damaged ye be. Tonight we speak wi Thirp. Ye are nae aware o yer own mind boy.” 

Shai wrapped him in a hug and squeezed. “Ye are very odd boy, an sweaty.”

 

When the spider smashing team returned and joined the bath, it was nearly second bell. A busy morning indeed. They returned a stink ring he did not know they had borrowed and the group set out before mid day.

#

 

The remaining miles flew by under their feet, Gary even felt fit enough to get on his legs and dance his way down most of the afternoon.

 

Khan and Luna had been quiet for the last few evenings, enjoying the freedom of being almost newlyweds. Gary interrupted them as the band slowed outside the uplands market.

 

“Have you figured out a place? My offer to stay stands. I feel like a nice carriage house by the gate with a stable beneath would be a good look…” He mused. “Detached, private, cozy… that sounds nice.”

 

“Thank you, we would be happy to…” Luna interrupted Khan with a firm hand on his shoulder. 

“He can’t hear you, he’s lost again.” Luna sighed. “Otho, Annie, wrangle that boy.” 

 

Gary was ambling half heartedly towards the gate, with his eyes fogged over. He whistled idly in keys not intended for mortal ears causing a few afternoon shoppers  to stumble over their own toes in confusion.

 

The massive horse corralled her charge and herded him back into the group, where Tallum tossed him into the dog cart without preamble.

“I can’t tell if he’s better or worse these days.” Tallum complained. “Are we sure no one else can use the Contract ritual? I don’t want to get bound to something weird by accident…”

 

“Don’t worry about that,” Gary’s mouth said from the cart. “things are shaping up nicely… Ohh, so this is what the human world really feels like…”  He said, sitting up from the cart jerkily.

 

“Thirp, is that you? Dear gods, don't do that with his head, that’s just horrible!” Becky almost screamed when Gary’s head snapped and twisted to look almost directly back and twitched in an unnatural way.

 

“Mmm, yes, he is going to feel that, I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes for a moment, contemplating. “Mouth. Mouth. It is an odd word and an odd thing.” He shook his head gingerly, that was far less terrifying now that he was facing front again. “No, I don't like it, lungs are terrible. I will see you tonight Becky, It was a pleasure to meet you all, however briefly.”

 

Watching Gary wake up while talking to him was not among Becky’s favorite experiences. “Ow!” He yelled, while feebly clutching at his neck. 

 

“Thirp says sorry, she doesn’t know much about necks. Sonja showed Tawny some tricks…” Becky backed away from the cart. “Watching your neck get that way was bad enough. I’m not watching her fix it.”

She ducked away, pausing only to hug Shai. “I’m running ahead, Gary hurt his neck, not my fault bye!” The tiny dynamo sprinted off like her britches were on fire, vanishing through the gate.

 

With a friendly wave from the gate guards, they trooped back into Wheatford. Gary sighed audibly with relief as the Adventure compound wall came into view. 

He tumbled out of the dog cart like a sack of ax handles, sprawled in a disordered pile beside a wheel. Otho ducked out of his harness and began nudging Gary into a more human shape while the others watched with amusement. 

Shai took pity, eventually and helped him up. “I’m all noodley, Thirp did something to my neck…” He groaned. “That spider needs to prove she knows what she’s doing before I let her drive again.”

 

She settled him on a camp chair and put his mandolin in his hands. “Make yerself useful, I would have a good night’s rest inside town walls, my love.” She said, before manifesting her violin and spinning away joyfully.

 

Ivy’s former garden was a nice spot; wide, large and sunny. Their new home made a broad frontage of river stone wall and twining vines, with thorns and berries festooning only the top. A new carriage house straddled the garden gate with a small stable below. 

 

The front door was once more, Shai’s Forge and Foundry and Ward Instruments, with the sales floor and comfortable patio out front.

 

Shai convinced Tallum to princess carry Gary into his own home, because she was a cruel and hateful woman with an evil heart. In the common room they dropped him on a table, while Tawny stretched and warmed up. 

“Mistress Sonja showed me a few things. let’s see if we can’t get you back to moving under your own power, hmm?” Tawny said in her rich golden singsong, knowing full well how soothing he found that. 

Tiny hands grabbed his skull beneath his jaw on either side then gave a sudden tug and gentle twist. A subtle, wet pop and a flood of icy cold sensation ran over his whole body, followed by relief. 

“Ahhhhh.” Tawny clapped her hands softly in delight as Gary sighed and melted into a puddle on the hard table top.

 

“That worked marvelously!” Tawny exclaimed. “Shai, mistress Sonja agreed to ride with Esperanza on her next trip and teach her methods here for a few weeks. You should attend the classes at the temple. Her art is nearly forgotten, and is well suited to your… ‘physique’ shall we say.” 

 

“Mmm please doo. I will come with youu wee cann…” Gary was muffled by the tabletop and a large quantity of drool, but the message was clear, even as he drifted away.

 

“Help me strip him and toss him in the bath Tallum, he is still entirely too large.” Tawny complained happily. 

“It is good to be home. I am going to go ask papa what he means by setting his tax men on my friends.” She huffed, letting her control lapse among friends. 

 

Tawny stamped a tiny golden foot in exasperation. “I suppose I will have to explain everything eventually, please try and shake some sense into him before  he does anything too stupid.”

 

Tallum coughed softly. “He has something planned with the orphan kids…” He said, his face reddening with embarrassment. “He never said to keep it secret from the group so…”

The troupe was on the patio, enjoying tea and the sunset before heading to their own homes. Gary was soaking in his grotto, hopefully staying put.

“He called it Operation: Garage Band, that doesn’t sound scary, that’s why I’m a little worried.” The Giant said softly. “He said it was already under way and can’t be stopped.”

 

They all looked to Shai, who shrugged silently. “I dinnae ken his mind any more than ye. The rest o him be free and easy, tis nae seeing whae his brain do work though.”

 

Becky’s laugh caught them off guard, as she stood to go into the home with a bundle of stuff over her shoulder. “Shai, if you checked out something besides dance music and his hentai collection you would know what’s coming. I’ll show you punk rock and grunge tonight.” She shouldered her bundle and grinned. “I’m moving in. Liam, you need a new head youngling, I’m retired. Talia would be my pick, or Braan, he’s a little flighty though.” She shrugged and strolled inside with a wave.

 

“Aye, so Becky does live here now.” Shai sighed, as though greatly put upon. “Khan, Luna, ye two vagabonds must need make yourselves at home. He did build thee a place.”

The Carriage house gate was open and Annie was making herself at home in the ‘stable’ on the ground level. 

A hoof friendly paddle operated the gate, sliding it open or closed with a nudge. A wide open floor space with a high beamed ceiling and big windows left plenty of room for ‘horsing around’. 

A water trough in one corner and a stall of very dark, rich soil in another corner suggested a special equine accommodation of the necessary appliances…

“Is that a horse bathroom?” Liam asked, bewildered. Annie stomped an outraged hoof at his presumptuous question, before pulling a bright, floral curtain across the stall entrance to conceal it.

She huffed in ladylike disapproval before nuzzling his hair. “Point taken mistress Annie.” Liam murmured as he passed through into the garden. 

Gary had really let himself spread out, taking over the former kitchen garden and expanding beyond. A rear gate led off into the relatively undeveloped back of the compound. 

Liam nodded with satisfaction at the expanse of garden now available to him and smiled. The others were more interested in the expanded private and public bathing pools. 

The public side held a curving slide and a cozy fire pit now, while the private side was drenched in steam and surrounded by flora in a very inviting way. 

The low wall and high hedge dividing them seemed more a formality now, as there was a very nice vine covered bower connecting the two.

 

Annie trotted through and paddled open the back gate to have some exercise in the fields behind the house.

A few acres of open land dotted with occasional fruit trees and thickets run wild were the orphaned children’s playground and private kingdom, only loosely regulated by the adult members of the guild.

 

Among the thickets and remnants of abandoned barracks, any number of secret hideaways, treehouses and forts had been constructed over the centuries. 

Elaborate catwalks and ropeways crossed to and from anything sturdy enough to be called a tree in the small forest of Backcorner; a dim and mossy domain of old growth and bramble choked game trails.

 

The plains of supervision were marked out for a dizzying array of games, some long forgotten in the mists of time. Chalk, stone slabs, pillars and poles dotted the field.

 

The Secret Garden was where some kids had private plots to grow flowers or a favored food. They were marked by a low hedge and a rotating guard of pets to keep pests away.

 

Several older teens were on the PlayGround of the Ancestors, a burned out stone building, whose sturdy, gutted shell had been converted into a mountaineering paradise by generations of kids. They climbed and leapt with wild abandon, working out before dinner.

They stopped and climbed down when Annie thundered by, tail high and mane flying wildly. A lady does like to make a good impression. They laughed and chased after her, ‘running’ on those pitiful legs. 

 

That was what she loved most about humans, the way they toddle about on those spindly sticks. Most were less graceful than the silly wading birds by the shore. Gary was one of those, a lurching, stumbling goof, she found that adorable. 

Shai was another matter, that one moved like she had the proper number of legs all the time. ‘If only Khan would take dance lessons from either Shai or Luna… this new home was going to be lovely after all.’ Annie thought to herself, while laughing children chased her around a wide open field.