Ch: 41 Duke of Earl

Out on the patio they bumped into a small squad of red armored War cultists, led by a Justiciar knight who did not seem predisposed to small talk. 

 “Surrender for judgment citizens, by order of the duke.” Came the cool, calm voice of the armored knight.

 

“Back inside!” Gary yelled, starting Amy to crying lustily. They backed up, as the warriors spread through the sales floor in slow and measured pursuit. 

 

Gary had his baton out, shaking a martial beat and spinning it aggressively while wielding his gifts. “I need you Shai, this filth gets nothing from us.” He sang stridently.

 

She nodded and put her violin and chimes in play. “Dinnae hurt anyone boy, We must talk an we kinnae win free.” 

‘Fire On The Mountain’ was not an ideal choice, but it was one they had rehearsed, so that helped too.

Gary lashed them with his gifts even more wildly than he had ever risked before, using Familiar Stranger to put himself into Ziggy Stardust levels of charisma. He dug deep, while hooking entrainment into their souls mercilessly. 

Gary took control of their breathing and even their heartbeats to a limited extent. Leaving the red leather clad War cultists gasping and awkward, while trying to capture the slippery teens.

A warrior was lining up to take a leap at Shai with obvious plans to grapple her, when Gary tugged on his heartbeat, making it skip a few. Shai kicked him in his leather codpiece with a merry sound of jingling bells while he was gasping for breath. 

 

With a sweet lullaby chord, Gary hammered his opponent in the guts with his singing baton. The woman folded up around her solar plexus and moaned on the floor. 

Coming in from the left, an unlucky warrior wound up catching a bass recorder to the skull from Becky, sending him staggering back looking dazed. 

Another warrior had become trapped between a display of drums and an enormous bronze gong. Gary hit it with his baton, sending the man wildly spinning while holding his ears in agony. 

When the plate armor clad figure entered, Gary lost the baton and summoned his mandolin. This one was ready for him, reaching out with compulsion magic of his own to control and manipulate. 

He fended off Gary’s gifts deftly, clearly well prepared for this battle, but not for Shai. Her violin cut through his spells, while Gary’s gift tangled with hers to dominate the room. 

“You cannot win this, child. Submit and cooperate.” The small armored man said, while moving to engage Gary.

 

From the courtyard the sound of inexpertly played instruments rose over the wall. Gary grinned triumphantly. “Maybe so, but sometimes, I get by, with a little help from my friends!”

Gary raised his mandolin and unleashed a torrent of lightning quick riffs, flooding the space with tendrils of his gift, creating an impenetrable tangle of nonsense. 

The armored figure danced forward with a cudgel in one hand and a buckler in the other, swishing his weapons dangerously. 

 

Gary dropped into a simple blues shuffle, roping in the orphans outside with his gifts, adding their influence to his brew.

 

I see the bad moon a-risin’

I see trouble on the way

 

I see earthquakes and lightnin’

I see bad times today…

 

“I don’t wanna hurt you,” Gary gasped between bars. “Just let us go and nobody dies.”

 

“You will slay me with a musical instrument? That seems unlikely.” The knight struck out, clubbing empty air. Somehow the boy was a few inches away from where he should have been. With a quick lunge, the boss of his small shield crashed into a display of wooden tableware. That young man was slippery.

He made a sudden stop thrust, kicking forward and extending his truncheon to stun the lad with a strike to his solar plexus. The knight came up just an inch short.

The young man’s instrument vanished, replaced by his odd baton. With a savage grin, he returned the favor, slipping forward as though on a dance floor. His ringing bronze staff struck out, as the man barely got his shield up in time.

 

The blow rocked him back and his shield split alarmingly. The wrenching sensation in his left shoulder suggested that this fight needed to end soon. He ducked low, charging forward with his arms wide and putting all his faith in the suit of armor that was his badge of office. There was nothing there. The boy danced aside, graceful as you please.

 

As the knight barreled past in his attempt to grapple, Gary rammed the end of his baton into the smaller man’s kidney with a dolorous clang.

The knight half spun, before crashing into the tambourine display. He rolled to a noisy stop, his back plate dented severely. 

He angrily groaned and tried to regain his feet without much success. Creepers and vines had stretched from the doorway, entangling and binding him.

 

Gary scanned the room, seeing all the warriors either down or entangled, he barked out. “Don’t follow us assholes, I haven’t killed a human, yet…” That was when the lights went out.

 

Tawny slipped her wand back up her sleeve and glared at Shai, from her position, standing on Gary’s snoring body. “I am surprised at you, Shai. Becky, we will discuss your behavior later.”

 

She turned to the knight suspended from a tangle of blackberry vines. “Rolf Belen, If you interfere any more I will let those bruises heal naturally! Gather up your goons and go back to your quarters this instant.” She spat, too furious for good manners. “There was a baby in that mess you fool! My own brother.. and so dim he would carelessly endanger an infant in the arms of a child… shocking!” 

 

“How was I to know about a baby?” The young knight sulked, while the brambles dropped him with a soft clang.

“If the tiny young woman holding bundle  that is currently crying was not enough information for you, I fear you may be a lost cause. Tell Papa to come see me here, this mess needs attention now.” She cast a furious eye over the groaning red armored cultists.

 

“Jack, William, Susan, Adam, I am deeply disappointed in all of you. You have been guests in this man’s bath and here you are attacking him in his home.”

 

“I heard there was an altercation, Tony never came back…” The knight groaned. “We came to check on him.”

 

“As you can see, Tony is perfectly fine.” She snapped. Tony was wearing workman's trousers and nothing else, while hacking through the vines with a kitchen cleaver. 

 

“Tony has been drugged, stripped, entangled and embarrassed this day, so Tony must be at Gary and Shai’s house…” He fumed, while cutting his way through the foliage.

 

Tawny smirked at her giant friend. “If you were not all so abnormally large, I had little trouble slipping through.… speaking of which, Shai, get rid of these cursed plants so we can clean this mess up. Tony, drag Gary back inside please.”

 

“Ye know I would nae let him hurt any folk, He be a man of action, if nae a great thinker.” She stared Tawny in the eye. “Though he will nae be taken frae me. There will be blood, an someone tries tae break up mine family. We hae all lost too much.” She pulled Becky and her tiny, still softly weeping bundle close. “I will trust ye Tawny, though twill be hard tae convince me boy.”

 

“He’ll listen, he loves you both, but he’s gonna be mad.” Becky kept rocking the baby and stroking her until she quieted and went to sleep. “I think we should tuck him and Amy away and let them sleep for a while.”

“As long as she’s safe in the house he should be ok. If he wakes up and she’s gone though…”

 

“Aye, he shall be cross wi all o us fer Tawny’s status. Though he should hae seen…” Shai complained softly, taking the baby from Becky and following Tony as he dragged Gary’s limp and snoring form to the grotto.

 

#

 

When he woke, Shai was in the grotto, playing with Amy. “Are you playing foursquares against a baby?” Why tic tac toe was called that here he never could say. Pointing out that there were nine squares and three were needed to win, only seemed to confuse the locals.

 

“Nae, I be playing foursquare against Amy, who be four years old.”

 

Gary rolled to the edge of the mossy waterbed and watched the girls playing in the dry space near the entrance. They in turn watched him. “Hello Amy, I’m Gary, how are you?” He asked, awkwardly. 

 

“You're nakie.” She said, in the no nonsense, cutting tones of childlike honesty. “I shouldn't talk to weird nakie people.” She turned back to her game. “Your go Shai.”

 

He watched them play for a few minutes, until Becky came in and took Amy away. “Lets go play with the horsies in the garden,” She swept Amy into her arms and led her out. “We’ll make uncle Gary sew you some real clothes soon ok?”

 

“He sews? So why is he always nakie?” That sweet voice slid through the closing door and right into his heart. Driven home brutally by Becky’s rueful chuckle and Shai’s full throated laugh.

 

“Ouch, that’s gonna leave a mark.” He grumbled. “When did I get demoted to uncle?” 

 

“She hae parents on yer world, she only just did leave them.” Her smiling face wrenched in sorrow. “I dinnae ken how tae be explaining…” Shai shook her head in wonder. “She hae been growing since she did first appear, though she seems tae hae stopped now. Tis perhaps how ye did squeeze intae this world.”

 

The pair hugged it out tenderly for a few damp and steamy minutes, before dressing to face uncertainty.

“I feel the forces of law and order outside, what are our options?”

 

“We talk, an we trust Tawny an Otho. An things go wrong, I hae steel an guts enough tae win us free.” She shuddered at some thought. “We shall nae be taken by those things.”

“Is Becky on board? She can’t stay, I won’t let them have her.” Gary dressed in simple workmans attire, before double checking his storage was full of unpleasant surprises.

“If Tawny’s dad is in league with those things, I will end him.” He said, as he passed Shai two stink ri… Aroma Bands™ and their bronze disks. “Those rings are loaded, don’t be afraid to use them. Non lethal is best, we have friends out there.” 

He stretched and loosened up, shaking out the nerves. His mandolin slid into view for a last minute tune, while Shai attended to her Violin. “Ok, if things get hairy say ‘Ace of Spades’ into your collar button and we’ll set shit off, make sure Becky gets a ring.” He slipped a new toy into place for a tuning and warmup.

 

Chaos Root, Unique instrument, Viola, string class, quality rare. Enchanted; Gifts enacted or influenced through instrument are difficult to detect and/or resist, scales against; Rank, Will, Mind and Animus. Minor ongoing mana and stamina cost. Similar and complementary effects from non hostile sources gain bonuses to effectiveness, wielder not excluded.

 

Gary held a deep crimson viola, painted in yellow and orange flames. Knobs and complex inlay work crawled all over its body and neck, culminating in a jagged headstock whose lines and curves were difficult to look at for long.

“She’s no butterscotch Teleblaster, but we should be able to zero three five our way out of trouble.”

 

“Boy, ye say these things… what do ye mean wi zero three five?” She grumbled. “We kinnae plan an we dinnae share a language!”

 

“If things go badly, start playing. Just dump hot nonsense into their ears, on key off key, whatever. Dominate the musical landscape until they drop from exhaustion. No weapons, no blood, just dance them down into the dirt. You know, Shai style.” 

 

She swept him in for a hug and kiss. “Aye, we hae a plan after all, ye be nae so daft as I did think. An we start, we kinnae stop til we win free.”

They slipped out the door into the private bath and were met by Otho. “We have much to discuss, please try to stay calm, this will be difficult for those of us more set in our ways.” 

 

The public bath was not crowded, but there were a fair few people in there, some were new. All the Bathers, Mikkel, Hanna, most of the senior orphans on campus as well.

Gary tried to focus in on the strangers first. Helene of War was there, her aura sizzling with fury. He felt two other War clergy, their distinct auras resonated with parts of himself he was not entirely comfortable exploring now. 

Tony was out there, as were at least two more Order priests that felt unfamiliar. Otho’s entire contingent was present, lounging in the bath.

 

He grinned at Shai and shrugged. “I guess we over dressed for this…” They summoned robes around themselves, just to show off and waded into the bath, joining a very eclectic soup.

 

Once they were in the pool Shai nudged Gary under the water and whispered softly. “Ye be the host, take charge as ye would on stage. Go boy.”

Gary stood and became his own hype man. “Hey, I see the whole gang's here, Naiomi of healer, holding it down old school with Otho and his posse.” He made exaggerated finger guns at the combined Healer and Joy contingent. 

“All my Bathers!  Secret society shout out, don’t tell the normies. Speaking of… I see some new faces out there, Hi normies. Things are going to get weird.” He grinned at the side of the pool where War and Order were gathered, with the elder orphans in between the two camps.

“When I say weird, I mean things will make no damn sense cause you don’t know the whole story.” He shrugged immaculate, snow white shoulders under a bronze face of utter madness. “Tough, I didn’t invite any of you guys except Tony. This is not a free ride to the Gary freakshow.”

He cast a warning glance over the assembled strangers. “My secrets are mine to tell, I am a free agent as far as I am concerned, you may disagree. That is currently under negotiation with your pantheon. There is a very good chance they are watching right now, please keep that in mind.”

“We can have a civil discussion, but a few basic rules first. I will consider any attempt to purchase, foster, transfer, indenture or otherwise interfere with my family to be an unambiguous declaration of war.” 

He waved a finger over the assembled clergy. “That means keep your filthy slavers away, or I start getting violent. If I die, I think there is a good chance all you fuckers will follow me within a few years.”

 

Rumblings of discontent from War and the more conservative elders shook the waters a little. 

“Ask your gods if they want to fuck around and find out… I’ll wait.” Gary snapped.

“For fucks sake, I have gods and spiders inhabiting my soul while eldritch abominations knock on the doors and windows. You think you cunts intimidate me? I died twice before I got here, or so your own fucking god Knowledge tells me. You know, Knowledge, the one you idiots all forgot about.”

 

“Point made Gary.” Otho’s voice cut through like a warm spring breeze, that old coot was good. “Joy requests that you cease making my job more difficult. While I personally was hoping for more exotic obscenities.”

 

“Very well master Otho.” Gary said formally. “Let’s open the floor… pool for discussion, If you would take charge?”

 

“Very well. Gary Ward, apprentice luthier, apprentice Adventurer in good standing with that guild, orphan of Wheatford and parts undisclosed, wishes to contest the Debt of Care Contract Indenture, Code of Humanities Law, held in trust by the god Order. Not only his own, but all such indentures, current and future. That is what is in negotiation.” The old priest announced

 

Things were getting active all over now. The general murmur and susurrus remained strangely subdued. 

“They do wait on his grace tae begin” Shai whispered in his ear. 

“If things break down, I’m gonna lay down some grooves. Don’t freak, remember, either of us say ‘the phrase that pays’ and we set it off.” 

 

She slid over and kissed him deeply, watchers be damned. “I do love yer madness!” She said, breaking the sudden moment of stillness. 

A small, golden haired woman of absolutely exquisite, mature beauty coughed into her hand delicately, having risen to speak. “His grace duke Leopold Belen of Wheatford wishes to know exactly what happened to the ducal tax assessor with whom you had a meeting.”

 

Gary hopped up on the curb and produced his mandolin. Slow and gentle music trickled out across the pool. “She is just fine. Her name is Amy Ward and she is out back playing with the horsies with my sister.” He sprinkled a bit of ‘Ode to Joy’ around the room. No magic, just music.

 

“I assume you are the duchess of Wheatford? Sorry I was out cold for the introductions, I caught a slight case of betrayal and treachery.” Gary said coldly. “No doubt Otho and Tony told you all about it.”

His juxtaposition of gentle uplifting music and furious discourtesy brought his point home nicely. At least, his audience shifted uncomfortably. “Next question?”

 

“That does not explain how…” She began, before Gary cut her off rudely as can be.

“That should have been covered in ‘Shit Gary Should Not Have To Explain’ did you get the welcome packet? Who was in charge of handing out the packets?” Gary called to imaginary convention staff. 

“Somebody fill her in so we can move on, next question.” He snapped.

 

“Gary, that be Tawny’s mother, priestess of Healer second to Naiomi, be respectful.” Shai whispered urgently. “Apologize now boy.”

 

Gary stood back up, bobbed a low bow to the furious women and spoke humbly and clearly. “I am informed that you are in fact the duchess, not just some random flunkie, so I apologize.” 

“As to your tax man, the undead wretches stuffed inside your fashionable fascist robes have gone on to the next life.” 

“My little Amy, who was trapped, tortured and forced into participating in the most horrific inside out puppet show you could ever imagine, is just fine thank you.”

 

Shai jammed an elbow in his ribs when he sat down. “Hey, I apologized and filled in the high points.” 

She jammed it in again, really getting in there with the pointy bit. “Ok, ok. I’m really pissed though. They are gonna have a rough time with me no matter what.”

 

That cough came again. How the hell does a nude woman in a bath make a cough sound authoritative and also golden? Magical mysteries everywhere. 

“My daughter informed me of your curious attitudes and ideas, please bear in mind that courtesy will cost you nothing.” 

She packed as much gentle, golden, matriarchal rebuke into those mild words as any ten mortal grandmothers could. That was old magic, he could feel it in the waters.

 

“If your daughter had been honest with me from the start we would not be having this problem.” He paused thoughtfully for a moment. “Though to be fair, I would have probably run off into the wilds and vanished forever.”

“That said, you did send an undead horrorshow to my house to enslave or kill me and my family so…” 

He shrugged in elaborate style, with eyebrow waggles and waving elbows. “Maybe we are even for a little coarse talk in the bathtub.” 

Fun and games Gary vanished in an instant, replaced by cold and hard stabbing Gary. “Amy is not up for discussion. Next question.”

 

“Very well, why did you make an appointment with the tax assessor's office? Are you on about some plot or ploy from some other house?” She asked, getting more heated.

 

“You guys issued an order stopping my trade, until your brown robed dog got a good sniff of my butt. I followed your rules, only barter. Journeymen in my party can trade and deal for coin but I am barter only.” He snapped.

 

“That was the notation on the record, there was no indication of violations, the duke issued no orders, that I can assure you.” She said as frostily as a woman with warm, golden, hazy everything could manage. 

 

“That’s great, I’m in tax compliance, I can be entombed alive in rotting flesh knowing I don’t owe you a shaved iron bit.” He snapped. 

“We are kinda burying the lead though… the undead horrorshow I had to wrestle in this very bathtub while it was trying to commit multiple murders under your authority.” He waggled a pale finger to and fro admonishingly. “Best we not forget what we are soaking in.”

 

That caused a little more uncomfortable shifting in the pool. Otho stood, addressing the crowd. 

“To be clear, this well of chaos is potently rejuvenating to all living things. It is unlikely one could even drown in this, no matter how thorough the preparations.” 

He pointed to a small stack of iron and stone weights and some ropes by the pool. “Amicus has experimented rather extensively.” One dark brown hand raised from the depths, giving a ‘thumbs up’ of silent confirmation.

“Non living and undead materials and entities dissolve into their constituent energies and elements rapidly.” He smiled widely, sinking back down into the ‘water’. “Only the shielding aura of a living animus protects you all from immediate dissolution… feels very fine does it not?”

 

“I was trying to intimidate them Otho…” Gary griped, while looking around in the steam. “Oh, thanks, I keep forgetting how good you are at this…” He had a look in his eyes Otho had seen at the very beginning, feral and lost, ready to jump in any and every direction. 

“Can I trust you, eldest brother Otho? Can I trust you with my family? With our souls?” He whispered desperately. “I’m not sure I can trust me, something keeps whispering in my mind that I could…”

 

Otho reached out and hugged him close, silently embracing his mad charge. “Joy has seen what I have seen, she is… displeased with some of the pantheon. You may rely on me.” 

 

Gary squeezed the old man once and stood up; he coughed loudly to bust the vibe and spoke out.

“I have a lot on my plate, the infant girl I gave birth to a few hours ago is four years old now and wants an ‘Elsa dress’ so she can go play with the kids outside. I have some sewing to do. Otho, my eldest brother will manage things from this end. Good luck.”

He and Shai strolled out, conjuring robes for themselves while he kept on playing ‘Ode to Joy.

 

As they vanished into the private side, the duke finally spoke up, his broad, common accent showing a humble upbringing. “Now somebody explain why there is a giant horse in the bath please.” 

 

Annie demurely floated in the deep end, deigning to acknowledge a duke who would not even speak to her boy. 

A princess must do her duty. She fluttered her eyelashes and flicked her mane, sending a spray of water over the group of nobles. A soft and distasteful chuff through her nostrils explained all that needed to be said.