Ch: 64 A Family Affair
Four thick bamboo poles stood, driven into the sand. Their tops were wrapped tight with cordage in elaborate ritual knots and festooned with paper tags bearing inscriptions and spells for volume, vibration, transference and range.
The armored duo began to whack the poles in time, each one sounding slightly different in tone and timbre. Their performance continued on, rising and falling in tempo as they wandered around the percussion landscape aimlessly.
“Entertaining.” Bannock said dryly. “The scythes are a good idea if you plie them with guts and stay in formation. What is all this noise in aid of?”
“Watch and see, he alway does something odd.” Luna said confidently, while Khan groomed the horses and checked his weapons.
“I’ve seen you two lead squad level actions with groups of mixed horse and foot, you are both highly competent… This time, let them try out a few things, as a favor to an old comrade.” He soothed from the horse line. “We may spend a few lances today, just to stay limber.”
Down by the water, they had settled into a martial beat, he was whistling something fiercely strident along with their thundering hammers. His whistle was coming from the slung instruments of his comrades and from small bucklers strapped to each warrior’s left arm.
“Oh! I do know this one, I hae heard it in his dreams!” The red haired hillwoman shouted joyfully as she rosined up her bow. “Stay wi us, tis a rousing song o war!” Her violin and bells began to sing. “Becky, ye know this one!”
Becky’s harp sang out, carrying her into a fiercely upbeat tune.
Well, I see 'em every night in tight blue jeans,
in the pages of a Blueboy magazine.
Hey, hey, I've been thinking of a new sensation
I'm picking up good vibrations.
Oop, she bop, she bop!
Becky’s high sweet soprano carried from their instruments, piercing the morning chill, as something began to move at the water’s edge. Shai and Becky’s grins said they knew exactly what the lyrics meant.
Gary and Ivy abandoned their wooden poles and trotted back to the group. Gary handed Ivy a snare drum on a sling as they ran, then produced his recorder. “Rotating trios, Dannyl, Ivy, on me. Everybody else, scythes out and on Liam.” They snapped to in a businesslike manner, wicked war scythes on slings for ease of use and ergonomic comfort.
With his gift, Gary pulled the band down from pop music into something more accessible. ‘John Barleycorn’ had been a favorite since way back when for good reason, it was playful and marched along at just the right tempo.
The lyrics told the tale of a field of barley’s journey from planting, to foaming mugs of beer, in cheeky terms of man on grain violence.
The three designated musicians marched behind their team of steady swaying scythes, cutting a wretched and slimy swath. Behind them rushed a swarm of clattering, pinching nightmares from the deep. Crabs, lobsters, crawling things that defied rational description marched in time, gobbling up the shorn segments of anemone with insectile delight. They ranged in size from shrimp to clattering armored beasts as big as horses, all pitching and nibbling their way through the squirming thing.
“They should stay with…” Gary’s voice chanted out in the morning chill. “Run down any that take a scamper, please.” His song guided that nightmare army of hungry life across the former village, the scythe wielders mowing a path for his ravenous horde. Still more scuttling horrors poured from the deep, flooding the town and crawling in search of alien flesh.
Farther into the town, they encountered their first massive tentacle of ropy flesh. They swept a wide arc clear from beyond its reach and waited while the largest armored crustaceans ambled forth hungrily.
“I feel super stupies for getting myself snipped up. These guys are just hungry and dumb.” He sang cheerfully as his pet nightmares enjoyed a feast of rubbery meat. It battered at their spiny, armored forms and received terrible wounds for its troubles.
It wised up and grabbed a king crab the size of a barn door in its ropey form. As the mighty creature struggled to restrain its snipping, pinching prey, a lobster seven yards long crawled up and clipped the tendril right off and began munching.
Khan, Luna and the supervising knights watched in horror as the army continued to grow. A pair of giant snapping turtles and a number of other semi aquatic monsters trooped into the former town, leaving little behind to show their passage beyond a reeking stain on the soil.
“Ok, I did not expect that.” Khan admitted. “Damn effective though.” A pair of wallowbears and a good sized patch of groundworm entered from the shore side, summoned from the nearby hills by the music. They snacked and rooted their way in with hungry abandon.
“How long can he control these things?” Herlick asked while a troop from the other side of the conflict joined in their advance.
“They are trading off now, watch for the shift.” Khan announced as Shai, Becky and Tallum fell back, trading their scythes to the musicians, who stowed their instruments and advanced to join the scythe line.
Twenty five armored knights of War fell in with their line, while ten riders attached themselves to Khan
“Knight captain Khan, I heard you retired, Xiong Tang, fifth platoon, at your service. Do you have an answer for that shelled horror?” The slender woman in light mail called. “We are twenty five heavy foot and a squad of ten light lancers. I see you have your own heavies…” She said wryly as the swarm devoured everything before it.
A colossal crab ambled by with a gently twitching length of rubbery tentacle, savoring a limp eyestalk that bobbed and blinked hideously as it chewed.
#
High on the bluff, the duke watched as… something moved across the former town, slowly mowing its way to the enormous conch shell in the tiny harbor. Jagged teeth of stone pinned the vast shell in place, as its tentacles thrashed in agitation.
“I dislike the method intensely, even from this distance it feels dishonorable. The results seem extraordinary however. Thoughts, Theophus?” The duke eyed his cleric with interest.
“You suggested the boy should be fostered at your temple, insisted in fact. War seems to contest your claim of ownership.” His grin made the priest shift awkwardly in his ceremonial apron.
“My lord, Craft insists the boy is vital to my temple’s work. Give him to me and I will beat some discipline and respect into his skull. Otho has led the orphanage into chaos and indolence with this nonsense.” Theo sneered.
“The boy started an illegal craft hall, two secret societies and two illegal cults; he's only been in town since midsummer. Now I hear rumors of a confectionery and a trade guild operating from the Adventure compound… My lord, this is a Craft matter, whatever War may say.”
“And yet…” Down slope, in the ruined town, things were moving fast. Another platoon, the fourth, had joined the now considerable formation, their light foot seeming to dance and cavort in counterpoint to the slower moving heavy troops at the fore.
Strains of music carried up to them as the sun stirred up a breeze. “Sounds like a country fair down there. It really does look like they are dancing… Bring my horse.” He said to the squire waiting nearby.
“Go back to your forge Theophus, we will have some work for you by evening. This is a matter for War and Order to resolve.”
#
“Mount up you shiny popinjays, the ducal guard is riding to the front. Time to get some ichor on our finery.” He shouted from horseback as his troops prepared themselves to ride. “Stay loose, someone seems to have found a solution to at least part of this mess.”
They rumbled out of camp in short order, shaking the earth beneath the hooves of twenty heavy cavalry and a troop of twenty mounted heavy foot.
“Ride over to my strike team, see if they are ready for action. Look and report, do not ask. Singh will always claim to be ready for action.” The duke ordered his squire. “If they are ready, rejoin me with them, if they are not, remain in camp.” He clapped the young knight in training on the shoulder. “Drag Rolf along as well, he may also find this instructive.” She saluted crisply and rode off on her own mission without complaint.
“Seems like, as soon as I get a squire trained properly, I have to find a new one.” The duke complained to his vice commander as they rode. “Does old Anglin have any more grandchildren, or have I buckled belts and spurs on all of them?” He smiled and chuckled as they rode, enjoying a fine morning in the sunshine.
“Maria is his last grandchild, if you are knighting her soon, we are going to have to go farther afield to find a new squire.” Vera Anglin grumbled cheerfully. “Dane Kinneman has a promising son. Too bad his mother will come along with the lad.”
“Helene? No thanks, what about that orphan boy, Danny?” He asked, scratching his jaw under his helm.
“Dannyl? He went Adventurer, he’s down there with your greenies… doing whatever it is they are doing.” She sighed. “Disappointing, but at least he is working. What about… Gods! They are dancing. What madness is this? Signal officer, sound the recall, retreat in order.” Vera barked as they rode into view.
“Belay that order.” The duke snapped, not unkindly, but firmly. “Don’t you feel that Vera? Someone is playing a very odd game and it feels like we are winning.” Thunder rumbled from the war camp behind them, as the strike team came downslope in fine order.
Two riders peeled off from the formation and joined the ducal party under Wheatford’s banner of golden sheaves over a scythe on a green field. “Sir Rolf, Maria, report please.”
“The strike team is ready to deploy my lord. I am, unfortunately, still not recovered from the journey. Permission to report to the healers please.” Rolf still looked like a mile of bad road, even in his immaculate armor. His eyes were red and ringed with dark bags, his nose ran constantly as he suppressed a wracking cough.
“Go Rolf… don’t be foolish. If you are unfit, don’t muster out.” Belen grumbled. “Ill officers make poor decisions, ill troops get hurt or worse. You know this, or I thought you did. Report to Tawny, not Patel.”
The duke’s grin slipped back into view a moment later. “Bide a moment and see what your new friends have wrought.” He chuckled from under his raised visor as they rode down into the pastures.
Even on the upper pastures there was evidence of a swarm of… something passing. In what remained of the town, the swirling melee was difficult to watch. Beasts and monsters fought side by side, rending the plump tentacles and devouring them.
For their part, the translucent green and dark ropey appendages swayed in time to the mad music, as though presenting themselves for the feast. Scuttling horseshoe crabs the size of dogs roamed the streets diligently cleaning up every scrap that the larger and more aggressive terrors left behind them.
Three distinct patches of groundworm were gnawing their relentless paths into the mess, followed by mundane creatures of the forest. Packs of lean and rangy wolves howled and roamed the outskirts of town, supported by bears and boars on their flanks, snapping up stray groundworms.
Wading birds and pods of dolphins controlled the water side, managing the fractious army of lesser monsters with delight.
All the while, his troops worked in a smooth and flowing pattern, spiraling in and curving around to finally encircle and contain the mass of writhing nasty.
Subtly, the music shifted, as did the horde of crawling, leaping nightmares that swarmed the former town. Slowly, the swarm began to move in a new direction, the massed, wriggling and scuttling forms dancing to the bouncy tune from the human formation.. Spiraling back out to sea… mostly.
Some of the creatures drifted off alone, most notably a crab larger than a good sized cottage and a number of lesser crustaceans, most with obvious outsider mutations on display. A rider pranced up, well mounted on a stallion of impeccable conformation.
“Luna, what word from your band of loons?” The duke asked as she neared.
“We request that your lordship shift himself and help run down our strays.” She implored, groveling and performing elaborate courtesies; while delivering her words, as though to a lazy child.
“The musicians are sorting the dangerous monsters from the mundane and harmless creatures. If my lord could possibly test a few lances on our erstwhile allies, before they make trouble.”
She swept an elaborate bow from the saddle and rode away to join the small band of horse Khan was leading in pursuit of the monster crab. “Hurry or you will be late to dinner. You are invited to the inn tonight…” She called as she rode off.
Afternoon arrived just on time, shortly after mid day, as it tends to. The filthy and exhausted warriors reformed under the watery sun and stared down on the remaining problem, still gleaming pearly white and iridescent rainbows in the harbor.
The young warrior in the puma mask leaned on his fantastic spear and yawned hugely. “Gary is investigating the big one right now, his methods are best left unexamined my lord. He suggests we withdraw back to camp while he ‘consults an expert’... trust me you do not want to witness that.” The duke raised an eyebrow at the young warrior but said nothing.
“Trust me my lord, several of us drew lots to see who would get to report to you, just to avoid what is coming.” He said with a distinct shudder.
#
Gary scuttled over the shell, crawling on all fours in a disconcerting way. He climbed up to its highest point, dozens of yards in the winter sky and held on by one hand while chattering in a high feminine voice into his silver collar button.
“I find no ritual markings, nor signs of such from here. We must search farther afield. Gary has no gifts or abilities to detect magical emanations that I can find, have any of you such abilities?” Thirp was having a rough day. Climbing this slick outsider shell with only four human limbs left her grumpy and frustrated. Two of the limbs were near useless for grasping or climbing, it was terribly inconvenient.
She climbed down and Shai began to breathe once more, to the woman’s tremendous relief. “Dinnae climb so dangerously with me boy, he has nae webs tae spin an ye fall.” The smith woman gasped when she/he/they touched ground.
Thirp tugged awkwardly at Gary’s armored trousers. “I thought I had found his spinnerette, but tugging on it did nothing but make it rigid. That boy only laughed and refused to advise me. He is very odd… why are you all laughing now? Human humor is very confusing.” The spider shook Gary’s head carefully in dismay.
“All he will say is that I should think about baseball. I don’t really know what that is.”
“Thirp… I shall make that man of mine explain what ye were tugging at, very this night.” Shai giggled. “Until then give me back that fool.”
“Ooouch…” Gary moaned as he sagged to the ground. “She has the neck thing worked out, but man, my arms hurt.” He struggled to his feet and leaned on his mighty woman’s shoulder.
“Back to the bath, I need a soak. Orgilith here is going to be patient while we find their summoner and beat his ass.” He turned to the shelled monstrosity and waved. “We are working on it buddy. Give us some time.”
The tired and filthy troupe marched and staggered up the slope towards the massed human troops and the ducal banner, at very slow speed.
A few groups of riders were still roaming the pastures and shore, patrolling for strays from Gary’s legion of foulness. Khan, pranced up with Herlick and Bannock and dismounted from Annie with easy grace.
“Come on Gary, Shai mount up, the duke won’t wait all afternoon and you look half dead.” Tallum pitched the shambling musician over Annie’s saddle in front of Shai and swatted the boy on the rump. “Off you go. We will report in, get home and soak your heads.”
#
“So we sit here and wait for them to find whatever they are looking for and ignore that thing?” The duke asked in annoyance and wonder. “It talks and asks for help getting home? Gods, this is madness.”
“This is precisely why this creature should be fostered at the temple of Craft!” Theophus interrupted, getting a glare from the duke and a subtly threatening shift of massive shoulders from Tallum.
“Craft priest Theophus, if you push that claim again, I will request a sabbatical for you, a tour of the forges at the front perhaps?” Duke Belen said mildly. “Harlan seems able to manage the temple, even if it became an indefinite assignment.”
Theophus blanched and sputtered rapid apologies, while Tallum fondled his club and smiled coldly. “Certainly, my lord, as you command…”
The Craft priest beat a hasty exit, followed by Tallum, with a muttered; “Please excuse me my lord, I must consult with Craft priest Theophus on a matter of… theological concern.”
The impromptu war council in an open pasture watched the sturdy, portly Craft priest huff and puff his way upslope, back to camp. Not far behind Theo, dogging his steps lurked the ginger colossus, whistling gaily, with his terrible club slung over his shoulder.
He never closed the distance with the struggling older man, just haunted his shadow with a subtle menace, spurring his out of shape elder to greater speed and effort.
“Very well Khan, we will follow your advice. One platoon on picket to observe that thing from a distance at all times, no civilian activity until our operations end.” The duke spoke with an air of firm command, pronouncing the law as he saw fit.
“My lord, Gary suggested we move our band down here to monitor the creature ourselves. He says it’s lonely, apparently it is a child of a sentient species forcibly summoned here for some mischief… Or so the spider that lives in his soul says.” Khan could still taste that odd, last sentence in his mustache, that one was going to linger a while.
“Spider that lives in his soul… that is where you are going to plant your flag, Khan?” The duke asked quietly. “You sure about that?”
“Yes sir, I regret to inform my lord, that I do indeed stand by that report.” Khan said with a manic grin that was new on those familiar features.
“Now I’m a believer… not a trace, of doubt in my mind…” He sang softly, in a very disconcerting way, while the others hummed and whistled along.
“Permission granted, Khan. Ducal guard, we stay here on pickett, all the rest, form up on Vera and retire to camp. Well done troops. Have the healers bring the after action report to me here. Send Tawny, she has been avoiding me.”
His words were still ringing off the hills, relayed by trumpet blasts, while the troops sorted themselves and began peeling off in order to return to camp.
The Adventurers and their two minders helped the guard set up a simple picket line and observation post. Each of the kids seemed to have a stash of small comforts about them somewhere. Camp chairs, tents, cots, a small sheet steel stove with a hot water boiler built in… it was nearly endless.
Before long the small, level pasture overlooking the creature was a cozy camp, including a hammock slung between a pair of bamboo tripods driven into the earth…
The tiny dark girl in the cloak of autumn leaves seemed quite proud of that addition. “How long Ivy?” She sang sweetly to her companion by the stove.
“Ready in five!” The pert and adorable blonde sang back. “Tallum is coming with the rest, they should be here soon.” Their incomprehensible activities and chatter kept up as the dog cart trundled by, music spilling from the bed.
Liam, the richly armed and armored leader of the band stood at attention, liaising with the confused duke.
“We are setting a camp here for the sake of the troops your lordship will no doubt be posting here to observe our activities.” He said smoothly. “Your grace is welcome to join us in our camp once it is set up, as are any troops set to watch us. Once they have been relieved, of course.”
“That is the friendliest, most insolent, insubordinate invitation to a bath and dinner I have ever received. Damn that Zygnos and his games.” The duke grumbled happily. “I worried where I would find another mad wizard when he passed.”
“This one is even less predictable than Zygnos my lord. Do not take his loyalty or obedience for granted. He considers himself a ‘free agent’ and will happily do murder if he perceives a threat to his children. I humbly suggest that your lordship not let Theophus near him.”
“Liam, I have watched your growth and progress since your birth, your loss was our loss as well… do you truly wish to link yourself to this fool’s suit? The growth you have displayed since midsummer is astounding, you could go far once your indenture ends.” The older man’s voice was soft, familiar and cajoling.
“Bide, follow the law as we have always done, as I did with my wife.” He soothed. “Your circumstance has changed somehow, claim victory and take the safe path. I will embrace you as my son in law and you will be my heir, as old duke Belen did for me.”
He smiled with genuine pride and affection. “I might have duke Holloman buy your whole band’s indentures and set you up as a new strike team if it all plays out as I hope.” He grinned widely. “Holloman owes me and your group a lot of favors if this wraps up neatly.”
“With all due respect my lord, that would be the worst mistake you could make. Please do not try to interfere with Gary’s mad plan, I will try and keep him under control as best I can.” Liam’s steady gaze and formal speech left little room for interpretation.
“I can’t give special favors, if he wants to challenge the law it will unfold as I judge, there is no appeal.” The lord shook his head tiredly and sighed. “As you wish Liam. I will follow your advice… for now. Even Otho never tried anything this deranged…” The young man relaxed into one of his group’s camp chairs with relief as the duke smiled.
While they conferred in the snug tent over mugs of hot cocoa, the music swelled to a crescendo outside.
There goes a narwhal,
here comes a bikini whale!
Rock lobster!
Rock lobster!
Rock lobster!
Rock lobster!
“Where did the rest of your troupe go?” Leopold asked over a lovely ginger cake and cocoa.
“No doubt harvesting the monsters outside, Gary and Ivy have eclectic tastes when it comes to meals and magical components. I should go assist them, excuse me my lord.” The reserved, competent and energetic young warrior whisked out, all business with his cat mask fixed in place.
“Maria, tell your grandfather what we missed out on with young Liam Kinnis. War has a lot to answer for if the lad’s suit wins out.” Leopold Belen, duke of Wheatford and surrounds, sipped his cocoa and thought, while his squire fumed.
#
Monster meat, monster meat,
something besides worm to eat!
Amy and Wilford sang, while Khan conducted from a sofa by the fire. Dannyl, Shai and Liam were cooking while the wizards plotted in the bath with Luna.
“I took my eyepatch off near your pool just once boy, never again. I could feel my mind unwinding as I watched the colors swirl…” She shuddered in the hot water and sank down until her nose barely cleared the surface.
“Ok so, we search the local area the hard way tonight, while Luna and Khan ride a circuit looking for clues or traces with her gift.” He winked at Herlick and Bannock in the corner, enjoying the waterfall.
“Do our minders want to ride out together with Khan, split your forces or stay here and watch over the dangerous musician?” He wiggled his fingers and made a spooky voice for the last bit. Amusing the pair deeply.
“Bannock goes riding, I slog through the mud with you lot… seems deeply unfair. Next madman you get crazy duty.” She grumbled at her tall and pale comrade.
“I like these two, they fit right in.” Gary whispered so loud that the shelled nightmare just over the garden wall could hear. He held a silent conversation with the creature, waggling his fingers in obscure ways in its direction. After a lot of spirit fingers and a bit of jazz hands he sighed and turned back to the pool at large.
“Orgilith wants to know if you two are a mated pair, I told them it was rude to ask, but they insist. They are fascinated by our bodies.”
He shrugged helplessly. “They were going to have Amy and Wilford ask, and I really don’t need to open that can of worms right now.”
Bannock shrugged. “We are not a mated pair, Madeline is to be married to my brother when her indenture ends, while I have no mate at this time. We are comrades in arms, and she is to be my sister.”
“Why thank you Amber, that was very gracious.” Herlick said coldly. “It was indeed rude to ask, is our guest’s curiosity satisfied now?”
“My apologies, but Orgilith is incapable of feeling embarrassment, shame or really empathy, right now. Those parts of their being are still trapped in their home.”
He smiled ruefully “I suppose it’s like closing your fingers in a door, but it’s like half of you smushed in the gap. It’s hard to keep the niceties of manners in mind under those conditions, I can assure you.”
“If it makes you feel any better, tonight, I have to explain my penis and erections to a ghost spider demigod that haunts my soul. I get to tell her exactly why she can’t just stick my hand down my pants and start tugging on things, not in public anyway.”
“For a maker of music he makes many excuses…” Bannock remarked with a smile.
“I did say the same thing! Aye, they do fit in well, we hae need of more sensible folk tae watch over this pet mooncalf of mine.” Shai hugged the pair up and mauled them just a mite in her enthusiasm.
