Chapter 11

 

Drew: Hey

Drew: You okay?

May: I don’t know

May: the paxton thing got to me

Drew: You were nicer to her than you had to be.

May: I know

May: still

May: she was so scared

May: I don’t know why this is happening

May: and I don’t know what’s going to happen to her

Drew: I understand feeling protective. I really do. 

Drew: Is it really that bad?

May: she’s scared of her parents

May: nobody should be scared of their parents

Drew: Shit.

Drew: We’ll figure something out. 

May: Thanks 

May: uh

May: can I call you babe?

Drew: Do you want to?

May: little bit

Drew: Then absolutely. 

May: thanks babe :)

Drew: You’re precious.

May: asdfghklj

Drew: See you at school! 

 

When she’d come home after school, May had done her very best to pretend like nothing out of the ordinary had happened at school (well, more out of the ordinary than usual, this past week) and she had utterly and completely failed. Maybe it was how often she checked her phone, or the fact that she blushed every time she thought about Drew, or just that she couldn’t stop hugging herself when she was pretty sure her parents weren’t around. 

Anyway, they’d called her out on it. Her mom had just started throwing names at her until one of them made May choke on her water until it came out of her nose, and that had been that. Mom had even sat her down to let her know that she could talk to her parents about anything, okay sweetie?

Even though she had made a desperate wish for the ground to open up and kill them all, May was grateful despite herself. Her parents meant it when they said they were there for her, and that was important, wasn’t it? They had barely blinked when she’d told them her plan for the contest. It had been as easy as switching gears. 

And it was the same now. After Mom got the name out of her, they’d asked to know more, if Drew had been officially granted the title of Boyfriend or if he was still a Prospect. Dad had been more than a little excited, which had been expected and something May had been dreading. Her dad and Drew got along, which was a horror in and of its own. 

That didn’t mean she knew what the right thing to do was. Just that she was in a pretty good place while flailing in the dark. And it looked like it was going to be another day of flailing. She stared at her phone. This morning, she’d been messaging Matt and Drew to get feedback on her outfit. She wanted to step it up. Just dressing as a girl wasn’t enough, she had to be eye-catching. This was, after all, a kind of popularity contest and now that she was technically on top (how had that even happened?!) she had to keep it up. 

The alternative was getting turned into a girl, after all… She looked at the little black rectangle and saw her reflection. Her mom had helped with the makeup. It popped. May had never felt so pretty in her life. The dress she wore had galaxies on it, and she couldn’t stop looking down at it. 

But right now, there was another mystery. The app for the contest had a new feature, again. Three votes. And then one big button that said “SUPER VOTE” on it, with a little crown. She’d tried it a few times, but it didn’t increase anyone’s score when she used it. For safety, she used it on herself. Just in case. 

Not that there were many people to choose from. The list had been reduced to herself, Ryan, and then some guys she’d never really talked to. Lloyd, William and David. She wasn’t worried. The gap between Ryan and Lloyd was already more than a hundred votes. There would have to be a serious upset before something changed, and that was the kind of thing she couldn’t predict. The best she could do was look her best. 

And, well, maybe the fact that she couldn’t stop smiling when she thought about Drew would help her, too. On the other hand, Ryan would have Matt on his arm, and despite his disposition, he couldn’t hide the fact that he clearly liked her. It was, honestly, adorable. From the looks of things, it was going to come down to the two of them, and May didn’t know how to feel about that. So, being pragmatic, she chose not to and just opened up a picture of Drew to look at until she got to school so she could look at Drew some more. Was she in puppy love? Sure. But that was hardly her fault, Drew had Large Fluffy Dog energy, and May really did like dogs. 

The bus stopped, and she didn’t even have to touch the ground to jump into Drew’s arms. That monster had been waiting for them. How dare he. As she was twirled around like a princess, there was a chorus of “awww”s from the bus behind them. Everyone who had to get off the bus at school would know about them by now, of course. May didn’t care. 

In Drew’s arms as he made her and her dress go spinny, she was happy (and a little dizzy). That was new, and she told Drew as much when he put her down. He took her hand in his as they walked inside. 

“You weren’t happy before?” He asked, a little concerned. May shook her head. 

“I don’t think so, no,” she said. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve been content and I’ve had a lot of fun with you guys. But what I’ve got in my stomach right now — other than cereal and some anxiety — is like… the baseline is higher, you know?”

“I think I get it. I’m glad, May.” He squeezed her hand and looked at her with so much genuine affection it might blow her head off. “You deserve to be happy.”

“You make me happy,” she said as she squeezed back. He looked at her with a little bit of a frown, and she worried for a second she’d said something inappropriate. “Did I say something wrong?” She asked.

“No, I just…” he rubbed the back of his head. “That’s a lot, you know? Like… what if I can’t live up to that?” He caught her eye and shook his head. “I don’t mean that like… I don’t want this, or anything! I just… I like being something that makes you happy but that means that I make you unhappy if I’m not there and like… I’m not ready for that?”

May tried to push past the moment of panic, to listen to what he was saying instead. She cocked her head and put her hands on his shoulders. It required her to reach up significantly. “I’m happi-er with you in my life?” She offered. 

“I like that,” he said with a smile so wide May knew for a fact she would die if she didn’t kiss him immediately, so she did. When she pulled back, he looked at her like he only saw her for the first time. 

“What?”

“You’re… pretty.”

“Pretty?”

“Beautiful.”

“Thanks,” May mumbled, blushing and trying to hide her face behind her hair. “It’s the make-up my mom did.” Drew cupped her cheek with his hand and angled her face to look him in the eyes again. 

“No,” he said. “It isn’t.” If he kept this up, she was going to faint, and he seemed to know that, too. He often acted like the wall-of-meat, especially during school sports, but there was a very subtle devious streak to him, May was starting to notice now. It was the little smirk at the corner of his mouth every time he made her stammer.

“Let-let’s go inside,” she said, and took his hand in hers again. “Monster,” she mumbled under her breath, and he chuckled softly. Their friends were already inside. They were wearing matching outfits. Sort of. Ryan was wearing a black muscle tank top and beanie. He looked like he should be curling iron and just wasn’t at the moment.

On its own, it wasn’t all that different from how he usually dressed, but it was Matt — wearing a bright pink beanie, top matching Ryan’s with a white sports bra clearly visible underneath — standing next to him that drew people’s eyes. They looked like a skater couple, and it was clearly working. People took pictures. 

“Ready for your photoshoot, you two?” May said with a cheeky smile that was immediately matched by Matthew. Ryan rolled his eyes.

“If it’s a bad idea but it works, it wasn’t a bad idea,” he said, putting his hands in his pockets and working very hard to look like he was very relaxed. 

“Agree to disagree,” May said, getting a scoff from Ryan and a little giggle from Matt. “How are you two holding up?”

“I’m doing great!” Matthew said happily. “He’s been a bit grumpy, though. You’d think he’d be happy with Paxton out of the picture but…” she leaned in conspiratorially, “I think he was kind of hoping you’d be eliminated first so he could have a cool man-on-man showdown with Pax.”

May shrugged. “He can have it with me instead!” Ryan and Matt both looked at her, in her kitten-heeled pumps and galaxy dress. 

“Sure, Jan,” Matt said. “Anyway, has anyone seen our… well, I doubt she’ll be as popular as she used to be, but surely she still has some loyal followers, still?”

“Paxton, you mean?” May said. She shook her head. “No. And after talking to her last night, I’m worried. It sounded like she was terrified of being a girl.” Matthew frowned in confusion. 

“Really? That’s weird.”

“Yeah, she kept bringing up her parents. You only saw her, but what she was saying… I just hope she’s okay.”

“Don’t worry about me,” a voice behind her said. The figure behind her looked like someone in a spy movie trying to be incognito. Paxton was wearing an overly large hoodie and a baseball cap. Hiding from the world. “I’ll be fine,” she said, her voice hoarse. She looked like she hadn’t slept.

“You don’t look fine,” Matt said. “What—“

“I’m… staying with…someone,” she lied badly, then looked at May. “Couple of things. One, thank you for yesterday. Two, just because I had a moment of weakness does not make us friends.”

“Sure,” May said, doing her best not to roll her eyes. “But that said, if you need a place to stay that has a bed or a sofa, I’m sure my parents wouldn’t mind making an extra meal. And they’ll be happy to talk to your parents i—“

“No!” Paxton said, then hid in her hoodie again. “No, it’s fine. I sent them a text. They don’t know what’s up but I can be away for a while without them asking questions, as long as I keep showing up at school.”

“Jesus Christ,” May heard Drew whisper behind her. She couldn’t blame him. The girl in front of them looked miserable. 

“Look, I know you and I haven’t gotten along—“ May said, and giving a second for everyone around her to scoff before continuing, “—but this fucking sucks. Like, this isn’t about you, this about helping someone who needs it, okay? So come over to my place tonight. I’ll get my parents to pull out the couch and put a bowl of food aside for you. Dad always makes too much, anyway.” 

Paxton looked at her like she’d seen in videos of abandoned dogs where they had to get caught because they were so scared of people. Then she sighed and the exhaustion was visible on her face, weighing on her shoulders. “Fine. But I do need to ask something. And if you’re lying to me I am throwing down.” Drew and Ryan both crossed their arms at that challenge, but waited for her to finish speaking. “I just want to know one thing,” Paxton said, angrily. “Who did this to me?”