Part 1: Bride and the Beast

“Hell of a day for it to rain in Southern California,” I grumbled as the first few drops started smacking down on my head.

I had just lost my job at Comic Corral.  I mean, I hated working there anyway, but it was the longest I’d managed to hold a job and at least I knew the merchandise.  Now they were letting me go in order to “help get some new blood into the business,” which I took as a fancy way of saying they didn’t want to give me a raise so they were just going to toss me out and find some newbie desperate enough to take even less pay than I got.

And on top of that, somebody had stolen my bike, so now I’m stuck walking South on Euclid in the rain to get home.  Ah well, at least I had the forethought to wear my hoodie. I hugged myself in the hoodie for extra warmth as I contemplated if it was possible for this day to get any worse.

A few yards to my right, I spied a pair of ravens fighting over some spilled French fries under the covered patio of a fast food restaurant.  Ravens? In the suburbs? I must be losing it. They must just be really big crows. Weird.

I crossed Edinger and began the stretch of the walk past Mile Square Park.  Mile Square was the largest park in this area of Orange County. It was named for the fact that it was… a square mile in size.  Clever, I know. My home is on the southwest side of the park, plus a ways down the road. I’m currently on the northeast side. Without my bike, it was going to be a sizeable chunk of my walk getting around the park.  However, since I’m not on my bike, I realize I could just cut through the park. I’d have to avoid the golf course in the southwest corner, but I don’t see any reason why this wouldn’t significantly shorten my walk, unless the grass hasn’t been tended well and I find myself in the mud.

I set off on my somewhat less than perfect diagonal route through the park, past the pond and playground I used to love playing at as a kid.  Those were happier times, when I felt like I could actually smile. I don’t know why, but I lost the ability to smile somewhere around age 8. I mean, it’s not a physical thing.  I can fake it for a picture or something any time I need to. I just… don’t smile naturally any more. I blame it on the state of the world whenever my therapist asks, but sometimes I wonder if there isn’t something wrong with me, like I’m a budding serial killer or something.  Before you take that the wrong way, no, I’ve never killed anything, and never wanted to.

It was when I was somewhere in the middle of the park, among a thick group of pine trees, that I heard a scream.  A girl, I think? And it certainly didn’t sound like she was playing. Normally, I tried not to get involved in other people’s affairs, but something told me this was serious, so I ran in the direction of the scream as quickly as I could through the soggy grass.

I came to a hill - a grassy ridge about six feet high, but that pretty much qualifies as a hill around these parts - and I could tell something was going on on the other side.  I could hear… chanting? Voices, in any event. I approached the ridge slowly and quietly and peeked over it. What I saw was definitely not what I was expecting, not that I knew what to expect.

A circle of stones, carved with symbols I did not recognize, stood in the earth, looking for all the world like they had been there for centuries, though I can be reasonably certain if something like this had been here as recently as yesterday, somebody would have written in sharpie all over them.  Around the stones stood people wearing brown cloaks and chanting like some fucked up, stoner Jedi. Leading the chants was a black cloaked individual, gesturing wildly at another figure in the center of the circle, a girl who, I guessed, was no older than myself. Early twenties. Her pale, blonde hair hung down her back in a braid and bounced gingerly as she… levitated?  She was screaming, and I quickly realized she really, REALLY didn’t want to be there.

“… take root within this vessel,” spoke the low, rumbling voice of the black robed figure.  “Imbue her with the Black Blood Of Níðhöggr, and prepare her womb to bear our master’s brood.”  Lightning began to crackle around him and I realized this was not just another weird, neopagan ritual, but something more dangerous.  I didn’t have time to think more beyond that as I was suddenly interrupted…

“CAW CAW” I heard from right next to my ears, and the sound startled me into a tumble down the circle side of the ridge.  I caught a brief glimpse of a pair of ravens perched on the ridge as I rolled head over heels straight into the center of the circle, knocking the girl out of the air.  I had just enough time to stand upright as the lightning the black robed man had been holding surged into me.

The world lit up in a multitude of colors, and then I lit up in a multitude of colors.  I could feel every inch of my body searing with pain as though my entire form was being torn apart, molecule by molecule.  Welp, looks like I’m going to die. Should probably come up with some witty last words.

“By your moon prism power, I am CAPTAIN PLANET!”

Don’t judge me.

To my surprise, the light dissipated, and I tumbled to the ground.  And that’s when all hell broke loose.