It's been a few days after my public "execution." While it is quite confusing and disturbing to know that I could come back from even decapitation I'm not in the state of mind to think about it.

Many things have happened between now and then and I know about it because this idiot keeps coming to tell me about his exploits like he expects me to be amazed at his wit going on and on about shit I'm not interested in hearing.

The First Prince had killed all his brothers stealthily and mysteriously and used the fact that my essence blood gave him flame powers and the mark that showed up on his brow that he named a "stigma" to deceive the people that he was heavenly appointed by the Phoenix god and he even started a religion to worship the so called "Phoenix god".

Phoenix god my ass, I'd  rather burn him to death than appoint him as a pigsty owner but the situation doesn't allow me. I have other issues like the fact that I have noticed that even though my vision is no longer blurry my eyes still feel like they are being stabbed by swords, or that I'm constantly being pulled to pieces to be experimented and there is almost no waking moment I have without pain in some part of my body.

If you think torture is scary then you have no idea how much worse being a live lab rat is especially with there being no end to an human's curiosity and the fact that there is no storage for parts of the body so if one part is decaying away they simply pull or cut another one off me like an apple tree that never stops growing fruits.

It's gotten even worse as now more people are involved so more parts are being cut off me everyday, and also the fact that they are constantly inventing newer ways of bringing me pain. It's actually confusing how easy it is for humans to invent things that bring pain, destruction and despair.

Somehow during all the torture and experiments and having to feel your body growing and dying all day, everyday I got to be able to feel and even control every part of my body. I've been trying to explore with this ability every few minutes I'm left alone to heal after losing another part of my body, but I can feel that this will take a lot of time.

"Well I have time."

80 years later…

Warring periods are the worst, as anytime there is a war I am drained of blood almost all through the day to use as phoenix blood potions for the soldiers.

I'm still being constantly experimented on even though that's no surprise. I've been constantly receding into my mind most of the time staying conscious and not conscious at the same time to lessen the pain even a little bit. I've also tried to split my consciousness into two but it's hardly possible, but I've achieved having two thought processes and I can control one passively and the other actively.

I've also been talking to myself in manner of giving my second thought process a different personality from mine to stave away the loneliness to prevent myself from going crazy. Maybe because I've been focusing on developing myself I've gotten a hold of a feeling from deep within my consciousness that's constantly growing weaker.

I wonder what would happen when that energy dies out, I have a feeling it's not gonna be pretty.

20 years later…

I'm suddenly feeling a pull deep down in my consciousness, I try resisting for a while but I seem to have zero energy mentally. I finally give in and I feel myself being pulled within me at a speed so high I had to close my eyes.

Suddenly I felt the pull stop and I opened my eyes to an amazing spectacle. I was out in an open place that looked like a mountain range and hills and other wonders of nature as far as I could see and somehow I seemed to be floating.

I look at my arms and I seem to be almost ethereal which is weird because I don't know what that word is as some information seems to be popping up in mind but my brain seems to still be assimilating it so I have time to look around a bit.

Suddenly a flat platform appeared out of nowhere below me even as I was floating. It had a design that looked like a lotus in full bloom on it. I tried checking all the info that got poured into my head but there isn't a name for this, quite strange but what can I do.

The process of what I had to do had appeared in my mind as I looked at my belly below my navel inside me there seemed to be a wisp of a flame, that started to float out as I began a soul reincarnation process. My ethereal body was moving on its own which was weird but as I didn't know what to do in this case I simply paid attention to the extreme and let it happen as I watched.

(A/N: I'm going to substitute 'ethereal body' for 'soul' from now on)

My soul started to perform some hand signs that I couldn't make head or tails off so I simply recorded it with my eyes to work on later as I have a photographic memory and I decided to simply pay attention to the process and record it in my memory and everything else I'd feel it and try to stamp it in my body via muscle memory even though I have no idea what that is as well but here goes.

My soul finally stops making the hand signs, it seems that that part of the process is done, the next thing that happened felt kind of weird as it seemed like there was an attractive force that tried to attract something from the outside but nothing got attracted, I don't know if there was something blocking what should have been attracted or if whatever was being attracted was even there in the first place but like I already said nothing happened.

The attractive force stopped and then the wisp of energy that came out of me started moving and swelling like a turbulent flame while at the same time started moving back towards me. It looked quite scary that something was going to blow up in my face  so I tried to fight whatever was controlling and for a split second I regained control over my body but immediately I felt that system thing's clutches from inside causing enough pain for me to lose my control the next second.

The flame continued getting closer until it entered my head and then

"BOOM"

I felt myself being torn to shreds piece by piece in slow motion until I became dust and even through the pain,for the first time I felt free the moment I was turned to dust. I felt power and yet I was to damaged to use it, I felt energy flowing around me yet it was too scarce to harness it, I felt another consciousness, another me in me but seemed to be asleep.

It was there I got the inspiration for my plan to freedom.