=::= Emily's PoV =::=
"I think it's because there's all these reminders," I explained in a half-whisper.
The three of us were sitting in a booth together. Danni was next to me, Skye sat across from us both. Danni closed her shop and took me and Skye to a little cafe across the street. It was small and cosy, nicer than the chain place down the street. We had a bit of privacy in the booth, but I was still keeping my voice down. I was scared if this stuff got out, if people heard what I was talking about, I'd get locked up or branded as crazy or something.
And I didn't expect Danni to be able to help, I only came to her because she was the last person I could think of that I could talk to. The way she looked at me that day I got my ears pierced, I was positive she remembered the old me. And I knew she knew about Selene and that impossible magic shop.
I already tried talking to Gloria last week, and that went even worse than I could have imagined. And yeah, that's how desperate I was. I actually went to see Gloria Mills. But she didn't know me as Emily, and she didn't remember my old self either. Whatever Skye did for me, it seemed like the old me was erased from everyone's minds. Gloria thought I was just some crazy incoherent teen girl.
And I could have just gone back to Selene's shop, but like I told Skye at the piercing place, I was scared. I worried if she or Selene found out I was having problems that they'd decide it wasn't going to work out. I was terrified they'd just set everything back to the way it was before. That they'd turn me back into him, and send my mom back to...
Tears started welling up and I quickly forced myself to end that line of thought. No matter how bad any of this got, even if I did get locked up or went crazy, I couldn't go back. Both for myself, and my mom. No matter what happened I had to stick it out, for both of us.
So I went to talk to Danni. I was hoping to just get it off my chest, like if I could talk to someone who understood, who knew who I used to be, that might help.
I had no idea Skye was in there, and of course she overheard what I said.
And thankfully Danni saw how freaked out I was getting. She offered to accompany both me and Skye, she was kind of a neutral mediator or something. Not that I was afraid of Skye as such, but I was scared of what she could do, what she might do. If she could help that would be great, but for now I was just glad to be able to talk about all this stuff.
Neither Danni or Skye said anything yet so I started to explain.
"Like at school? My english teacher, Ms. Brooks? I went to school with her thirty years ago. Tina Brooks, she was kind of a nerd back then and she's still one now. And it's not just her. There's three kids in my classes who's parents I went to school with. I hung out with them. I could tell them stories of what their folks were like, what sorts of trouble they got into back in the day..."
My voice trailed off and I just shook my head, then had a sip of my cola.
Danni drank some of her coffee then asked quietly, "You're not going to tell them though, are you? They probably wouldn't believe you."
"Of course not," I shook my head. "Some of the kids already think I'm weird, and I've already lost two friends this past week because of..."
I sighed deeply, "I've been having nightmares. Bad ones. I used to get nightmares in the other life too, but I drank to make them stop. I can't drink now. I mean I'm seventeen, I won't even be legal for two more years. I still get the nightmares though, and that's making me lose sleep. I fell asleep in class last Thursday, then woke up screaming because I had another nightmare while I was asleep in History. Some of the kids are starting to say I'm crazy."
"I'm sorry," Danni replied softly as she shook her head. "That's rough Emily. I know kids can be cruel, but hopefully they'll forget about it pretty quickly."
Skye had been silent for a while. She had a glass of milk in front of her but she hadn't touched it yet. She finally spoke up, asking softly "What sort of nightmares?"
I had another gulp of my soda then replied in a whisper, "It's events, memories from my old life, but it's wrong. Like things get all jumbled up? Like last night, I dreamed about the last time I had to... The last time I had to use my weapon. Only in the dream when I went to draw it, it was gone. I was me, I was Emily. I was a helpless teenage girl, but in the same situation as that tall strong armed cop. From there things just got worse and... Well it ended really badly for me."
"Fuck," Danni sighed.
"Yeah," I nodded slowly. "That's how most of the nightmares have gone? I've been me, but in situations from my old life. Or stuff from my old life has leaked into this one. Either way it's been keeping me up at night. And I'm... I'm afraid I'm falling into depression again. I know it's already made me think about drinking. I don't really know what to do though, and I didn't know where to turn or who I could talk to."
"Have you told any of this to your mother?" Skye asked softly. She still had that calm quiet detached look to her, but it felt like something was different. Her voice wasn't just quiet, she sounded a little tense. Like she had some emotions she was trying to keep back.
I shook my head "No, I haven't told her anything. I'm not going to either. She knows I've been having nightmares but I haven't told her what they're about. She doesn't remember the other life and I don't want to tell her about that stuff, I don't want to upset her. And I'm afraid she'll think I'm crazy. She's already mentioned taking me to a doctor or something because of the nightmares. I don't want her to take me to a shrink."
Danni looked back and forth between me and Skye then asked the mysterious brunette, "You can do something to fix all this right? Or what about Selene, I'm sure she could fix it couldn't she?"
Skye looked thoughtful but she didn't respond right away.
I looked at the quiet brunette and asked softly, "What if you just like, erased that other life from my mind? Took away all those memories, so I didn't know any of it anymore. Then I couldn't dream about it right? And I wouldn't recognize people like Ms. Brooks or those other kids who's parents I knew? Then I'd only know this life, I'd just be Emily. You could do that, couldn't you?"
Danni looked kind of freaked out at the idea, while Skye just frowned slightly.
"I could," she replied quietly. "But Selene's even more uptight about the sanctity of the mind than she is about not messing with history. And on this subject, I agree with her. I wouldn't want to make changes like that to your mind Emily, unless I was absolutely certain it would work. If I did that and it didn't help, then you might still be having those nightmares but you wouldn't know why, or what they represented. I think that would be even worse."
"So what am I supposed to do?" I asked. I was starting to feel desperate again. "There must be something?"
Skye took a deep breath then let out a slow sigh. She finally looked directly at me. The last time she looked into my eyes we ended up up on Io and I sort of braced for that but it didn't happen. Instead she spoke quietly, and this time the emotions in her voice were clearer. She was feeling sadness, guilt, and regret.
"Emily I'm sorry. You're the first person, the only person I've ever helped like that. The way Selene does things is different from what I did with you. I assumed my way would work just like hers, but..."
She frowned slightly, then admitted "I'm sorry. I don't know what I've done wrong. If you'll let me, I'll do everything I can to help you. I want to help. But if you don't trust me, I'll understand. I won't be upset. If you'd rather go and speak to Selene, I'm sure she'll be able to help. She's been around a very long time, she has a lot more experience than I do."
I stared at her for a few moments as all that sort of sank in. She seemed so cocky and self-assured, so confident two weeks ago. She whisked me away to other worlds, showed me unbelievable things. Then she changed my entire existence, brought my mother back from the dead, gave me a whole new life. And she did it all with just a thought.
To find out she was just winging it, that she'd never done that stuff before... As a seventeen year old girl I kind of thought it was cool and amazing. As a forty-seven year old ex-cop I knew it was dangerous and almost criminally irresponsible.
And it wasn't hard to guess why she wasn't suggesting we just go get Selene's help. That was an option, it was on the table, but it obviously wasn't her first choice. If I were in her position I'd probably feel the same. Getting Selene involved would be like me going to my mom and admitting I'd crashed the car or something. Skye might get in trouble, she might get grounded or at least told-off for screwing things up.
I knew Skye was older than she looked, but she looked like a teen, she looked just a little younger than myself. And even though I had all the memories of my other life, that wasn't the person I was now. Those memories haunted me but at the end of the day I wasn't a cop, and I wasn't going to narc on Skye. I was a teen girl, so was she.
Danni was still quiet, she and Skye were both watching me and waiting for me to make a decision. I glanced at the blonde woman and wondered for a moment if she was going to suggest we talk to Selene. Or maybe she'd go speak to her later, regardless what me and Skye decided.
It only took a moment but I realized that probably wouldn't happen. Danni was no narc either. She might be a grownup on paper but to me she felt younger. I decided we could trust her.
"Ok Skye," I finally said. "I don't want to get you in trouble. If you think we can figure this stuff out together, I'm willing to give it a try."
"Thank you Emily," she replied. Then she looked to the blonde sitting next to me and asked, "Danni would you be willing to help too?"
The piercing artist looked surprised, her eyes widened and she asked "Me? I'm not sure how you think I can help. I'm not magical or anything, I don't know how any of this stuff works. I'm just a grateful customer of Selene's, and I do piercings and the occasional tattoo. Why do you want me involved?"
"You bring another perspective," Skye replied. "A neutral, third-party view. And..."
She hesitated, and her pale white cheeks started to take on a soft pink colour. The impossible girl with godlike powers was actually starting to blush.
"And I didn't just come to your shop today looking for piercings. I was hoping maybe I'd find a friend."
Skye glanced back and forth between Danni and me, and she added "I never thought I might get the opportunity to make two friends though?"
Her voice got very quiet and she finally looked down at the table and admitted, "I don't actually know how to do it. Making friends, I mean. I'm sorry if I've made this all suddenly very awkward."
Danni and I were both just staring at her now. I had no idea what to say or how to respond.
I remembered what Skye told me of her past, about being raised by neglectful abusive parents. She went from a lonely abused human to an isolated distant...whatever she was now. I had no idea what her relationship was with Selene but I was sure it was better than what she had with her imaginary parents. That still wasn't the same as having friends though.
"Ok," I finally said. I glanced at Danni then back and Skye and continued "I mean, ok to everything. I'd like to be your friend Skye, and you too Danni. I mean, if you don't mind hanging out with a couple weird teens?"
The piercing artist had a thoughtful look on her face, but after a half minute she nodded. "All right. I'm still not really sure how you think I can help, and I'm honestly not the best choice if you're looking for some adult supervision or a grown-up perspective on things. Though I can fake that if I have to."
Despite how uptight I felt about all this stuff, I couldn't help but smile slightly. I already felt a little better knowing I had two friends I could talk to about all this stuff, and who were willing to help try and fix it.
Skye had a little smile on her face as well, and I figured she was happy about having her first friends. Even if the circumstances weren't exactly great.
"So where do we start?" Danni asked. She looked back and forth between me and Skye, "I get the feeling this isn't something we're going to solve this afternoon over coffee?"
