999 emails in my urgent tab. I took one day off and apparently the kamis just collapsed in on themselves ass first-- the idea that these buffoons govern multiple worlds is horrifying.

Whatever, let’s take a look at these emails.

‘(URGENT) hero married demon queen and went evil, help!’

This is probably the most common issue ever, how the hell is it urgent? Just stop summoning horny teens and the problem is solved. Idiots.

‘(URGENT) my reincarnated goblin hero leveling up very slowly for some reason.’

Ah yes, I wonder why the GOBLIN hero is leveling up very slowly.

‘(URGENT) overcharged for a large pepperoni pizza.’

BASTARD, this isn’t even meant for me but he still used the fucking urgent tag.

Fuck this, ill just clear the tab and blame it on an intern.

*knock* *knock*

Speak of the soon-to-be-fired devil.

“come in”

“m-morning manager, there is somebody here to see you.”

“Who is it?”

“A hero, but he won’t tell me why he wants to see you, sir.

Of course he won’t; the bastard is probably a new SRA member. I hope he’s one of the non-messy ones at least.

“let him in.”

Don’t be a slime, please god let it be anything but a slime. I just had the carpet steam-cleaned.

“Hello manager-san, I apologize for the sudden visit but I need your assistance.”

Huh? well, ill be damned. I was actually wrong about the SRA, this guy is a fully-fledged human.

Actually, he is as basic as a human can get. How can one person look so typical, and have no distinguishing features? Black eyes, black short hair, and the most basic face ever.

“Please, have a seat and tell me how I can help.”

God, his basicness hurts my eyes.

“Well, I want to file a complaint against the kami who summoned me. I have been working in a stressful, unsafe, and absolutely inappropriate space; and I’ve been sexually harassed by him multiple times as well.”

Oh god it’s one of those ‘black company worker reincarnated into another world as a farmer’ types. They think being a hero is the same as working in an office. What the hell is ‘unsafe’ supposed to mean here, your whole job is to kill monsters in order to get stronger so you can kill stronger monsters.

These guys are relentless but at least they are familiar with being brushed off by people in suits, so I should be able to brush him off.

“Oh, I forgot to mention that Athena-sama was the one who sent me.”

Motherfucker—I can’t brush off someone she sent or she’ll make my life even more of a miserable hell.

“Here, fill up this form and I’ll see—”

“Athena-sama said that you could provide a more… direct solution.”

You damn basic-looking bastard.

“And what kind of solution did she say I could provide?”

“she did mention that you could go with me to that kami’s world and talk to him directly since an official complaint won’t work.”

Oh hell no. that’s not my job, god forbid.

“I’m afraid that’s not my job, but I will be more than happy to help you fill up an official complaint.”

“Athena-sama told me that you’d probably say that, and to hand you this if you do.”

An envelope? What could possibly be in—oh shit, is this bitch really blackmailing me?

Fucking kamis. I should’ve never attended that party at Dionysus’s mansion; the blue rock candy he imported from that western fantasy world hit like a mule with its balls wrapped in duct tape.

All right fine, it can’t be that bad, can it?

“Intern, I’ll be leaving on a little business trip. If anyone asks for me tell them I shot myself.”

“Let’s get on the teleporter sir, and if you don’t mind can you tell me what kami summoned you?”

“Uh, I think you will realize as soon as we get there. let’s just go now manager-san.”

Cocky bastard.

Uh, this antiquated teleporter feels like shit to use; whatever, let’s just deal with this and be back by time for lunch.