It was a sunny and warm spring afternoon. The blue sky was dotted with small patches of white, fluffy clouds drifting about, without a care of the happenings on the ground or above the heavens. The soft winds gently pushed them around as they also caressed the trees' leaves below and the faces of children playing on the lush fields.
Peddlers traveled the dirt roads; farmers worked in their lords' fields. In the big cities, people shuffled around like busy ants while guards were yawning, standing on the walls, and leaning on their pikes like bored statues of false vigilance.
Ministers indulged in their maidservants' bosoms, even before the night had fallen, while the same was happening next to the docks' red light districts, where the huge, docked cargo ships' sailors were having fun. It was their most beloved pastime before heading back to the endless blue fields, maybe never coming back to shore after leaving.
This day was the same as every other before it. For the world, up in the north, a blizzard was waging its never-ending war with the mountain rocks. In the west, the endless dunes were trying to gobble up the horizon; somewhere on the eastern steppes, two tribes were waging a bloody battle, and the fields were soaked with the blood of men and horses by the thousands.
That's when it happened. It wasn't loud, it wasn't powerful, it was like someone tearing up a sheet of paper, soft… quiet... unimportant... but everyone heard it. Bugs stopped moving; birds ceased their constant singing; a wolf pack was just about to hunt down their prey, but they stopped in their track as if being frozen in place.
The waves on the ocean seemed to stop. It became calm, like the surface of a giant mirror. The battle on the steppes quickly halted, and the moaning of the injured under their dead horses ceased, as they couldn't let out even a whimper. Even the most vigorous sailor went limp while looking out the window as their eyes followed the sound to its source.
Everyone saw the same. Be it the lord of a country, an emperor of a dynasty, the beggar on the biggest church's steps, or just a cat, lazily soaking up the sun's warmth, lying on a porch. The scene that followed that sound… no, not sound, that feeling as it was… felt, all around the realm, by every living being, deep within their soul. It was beautiful yet horrifying.
No matter where you were standing, if you were born blind, you were seeing it, feeling it…. The Tear in the Sky. It was like two invisible hands tore a giant hole into reality itself, showing what is behind the veil that no mortal's eyes should see.
The chaotic space was filled with indigo mists and constant purple and red lightning bolts. At first, it was without sound but not for long. The howling arrived quickly, followed by the otherworldly wind… The wind didn't move any trees or even a blade of grass but knocked people and animals off their feet, blowing through their flesh, essence, and souls.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Rumbled a shout through the entire realm, deep and coarse, like two metal scraps grinding against each other.
"YOU'VE GONE MAD!
Another voice came, feminine, charming… but cold. So cold.
"You are always quick to call me that!" echoed a reply. It was a cheerful voice. One that carried satisfaction.
Above the heavens, where no mortal's eye could see, a man in a long, black garment was right below the Tear in the Sky. His white hair was hanging loosely behind his back. His red eyes were calm and collected, like nothing was happening to him. His hands were hanging beside him, useless and torn, while his golden-purple blood was slowly dripping down his fingers. Before those precious drops could fall downwards, the Tear above him gobbled them up, defying gravity and the laws of nature.
In front of him stood another somewhat skinny man in tight-fitting leather armor. His bald head was decorated with scars; on his back, he wore a battered, rusty sword that looked like it was about to disintegrate any moment.
To his left stood a young woman wearing an elegant, long, green dress. It covered most of her body, but still, it couldn't hide her almost perfectly shaped, curvy body. Her black, long hair flew freely behind her while her deep blue, starry eyes were watching him coldly.
Soon another pair arrived, wearing severe expressions, walking out of thin air. The man and woman had similar faces, looking no more than 14 years old, both wearing bright red outfits, seen on scholars and priests. Their green eyes were shocked; looking at the Tear, their blond hair danced behind them as their murderous auras arose.
“H-how… why…?” The young girl asked, but her voice was much older than her looks suggested.
"With my hands." came the clear answer, almost like a joke between family members.
"You've gone mad!" said the young boy, drawing his eyes to the white-haired man, watching him like an executioner would watch his prisoner.
"Yeah, I heard it before." he just shrugged, then rolled his eyes before scanning them again and giving a wide smile.
"You are all afraid. Afraid of what comes next. You would watch the world stag-"
But he couldn't finish his words as the bald man, moving like lightning, stabbed his rusty sword through his chest. The blade was like a sponge eating up his blood, not allowing the Tear to suck it up.
"Quick!" The green-robed woman shouted, flying past them, towards the Tear in the Sky as soon as her bald counterpart made his move. The twins followed just a step behind her, forming a triangle around it. Their bodies were emitting bright lights that tried to cover the Tear and pull it together, albeit very slowly.
"It's too late. I tore it open, and now the realm has been blessed. Even if you close it now, the pure energy behind the Sky will seep into the world!"
Nobody said anything. The bald man held the sword firmly while the white-haired man's skin started to crack and dry up. He did nothing to stop it from happening. The other three seemed like they were going to be able to patch the Sky as the Tear was slowly closing, but every one of them felt that he was right. It would never be the same.
The chaotic energy was still blowing through the Tear, washing the realm repeatedly. Some people were getting back to their feet after the initial wave, but others were clutching their heads or their stomach, moaning. They felt as if millions of animals were stampeding through their veins. Animals were groaning, howling around the world, feeling the same, and trees swaying without wind, their roots growing dozens of meters by the minute. Fishes under the ocean started swimming in weird formations while their previously glossy eyes were now filled with actual intelligence.
"You can call me mad… I'll take that title and make it my own then." the white-haired man said, looking into the Tear that slowly was closing thanks to the effort of the three.
"Shut. Up." The bald one groaned, twisting his blade in his chest, but the only reaction he got was a wide grin while he slowly raised his bloody hand.
"We were gods for eons. I ascended after all of you, yet it was still so long ago I forgot how the world looked when I was still walking in it. You are content. You are happy to keep up the balance and wallow in mediocrity. Ugh… What? Twisting it again because I'm right?"
He laughed mockingly, and his red eyes started to glow much brighter. In turn, the bald man's eyes became more severe than before. He decisively pulled out his sword, teleporting backward, while the dried-up skin on the white-haired man started to crack and glow. It was quickly causing similar cracks to appear around him in space. It wasn't the same as the Tear in the Sky, but those wound-like cracks were still terrifying, even to the Gods.
"You call yourself Gods. Gods that sealed the realm stripped it from its energy! Gobbling it up by yourselves! So that you stop the birth of more... more of Us!"
"Don't you dare call yourself the same as the US!" the green-clothed lady barked at him while they were still closing up the Sky, and the Tear was getting smaller and smaller. Their faces were pale, and their clothes were getting soaked by sweat. They no longer remembered these feelings that appeared in their minds. Supposedly only mortals were affected by it, but now it washed over them as they hoped to fix something that could not be restored.
"Yes, yes… I'm mad… I know… And I'll gladly be Mad one more time. You suppress even your factions, planting false hope in them but not letting anyone reach Our level anymore. You fear others will appear. You fear they will be stronger. Good! Remember that feeling. Because from now on, in just a few eons later, Gods will rise, and then, THEY will reopen the Sky to go further than any of Us!"
He said while he started to laugh and placed his hands on his chest.
"STOP!"
They screamed almost instantly, but everything happened in a flash. He jabbed his fingers into the hole in his chest, tearing it apart while laughing so loudly it sounded like a thunderstorm from beyond the Heavens.
The Tear that had just been patched up trembled, and a thin, golden-purple bloodline formed between It and his chest, more precisely between It and his God Crystal inside his chest, while his voice traveled around the realm, ringing in every living being's soul.
"My name is the Mad God. I opened the path for you… now walk on it! Stand up and start walking… because… it’s…”
His voice became fainter and fainter while his body started to fall apart, while his God Crystal was getting brighter and brighter, illuminating the whole realm, even underground the earth.
"Fun!"
The Crystal, fed by the energy beyond the Sky, reached its limit and shone brighter than anything for a second before going out like a candle that a pinch of one's fingers had snuffed out. The bloodline between it and the Tear broke up while the God Crystal vanished like it never even existed.
The quartet of Gods was standing, watching each other, not speaking, not moving, and not even thinking. Their minds were empty, filled with one emotion, an emotion they felt vanquished so long ago. Fear. Fear of the unknown…
…
….
…..
On a snow-covered peak, three youngsters stood somewhere in the northern mountains between 16-17 years old, two men and a woman. All three wore coarse clothes from animal skin, typical for the tribes in the mountain range. But if someone looked at them closely, they could tell their skin was too perfect, without a blemish, their chestnut hairs silky and smooth, and their brown eyes filled with vitality and power.
"Master did it." said the girl with a soft, happy voice that would enchant anybody. "A new era is upon us!"
"Yes." nodded the other two simultaneously, wearing smiles on their faces. "We need to be ready when Master comes back."
"We will wait! No matter how long. We still have a lot of work to do, but we must be careful!"
"Those four will watch everything, but Master was right. The energy behind the Sky is something even Gods can't see through."
Said the youngest-looking boy, raising his hand, which glowed with light purple-like energy before fading. They took a last look at the Sky before all three vanished…
Awesome prologue!
Thank you, I hope you are going to like it!
@Corty The story is fun so far, thanks 😁👍
Good start
Thank you~
Stupid me decided to rewrite almost every damn sentence for the hell of it
.
above the heavens, the soft wind that pushed them around also caressed the trees' leaves below and the faces of childrens who were playing on the lush fields.
above the heavens. The soft wind that pushed them around also caressed the leaves of the trees below and the faces of the children who were playing in the lush fields.
lords' fields, in the big cities people were shuffling around like busy ants while guards were yawning, standing on the walls, leaning on their pikes like bored statues of false vigilance.
lords' fields, and in the big cities people were shuffling around like busy ants, while the guards were yawning, standing on the walls, leaning on their pikes like bored statues of false vigilance.
Ministers were indulging in their madiservant's bosoms even before the night has fallen, while the same was happening next to the docks' red light districts where the huge, docked cargo ships' sailors were having fun before heading back to the endless blue fields, maybe never coming back to shore after leaving.
Ministers were indulging in their madiservant's bosoms even before the night had fallen. The same was happening in the docks' red light districts, where huge docked cargo ships' sailors were having some fun before heading back to endless fields of blue, maybe never coming back to shore again. (This sentence was and still is painful)
This day was the same as every other before it for the world, up in the north, a blizzard was waging its never ending war with the mountain rocks, in the west the endless sand dunes were trying to gobble up the horizon, somewhere on the eastern steppes two tribes were waging a bloody battle and the fields were soaked with blood of men and horses by the thousands.
The day was the same as every other that had come before. Up In the north, a blizzard was waging a never ending war against the mountaind(Are they literal mountain rocks?), in the west, endless sand dunes were trying to gobble up the horizon, and somewhere on the eastern steppes, two tribes were waging a bloody battle causing the fields to be soaked with blood of thousands of men and horses.
That's when it happened. It wasn't loud, it wasn't powerful, it was like someone tearing up a sheet of paper, soft… quiet... unimportant... but everyone heard it. Everyone. Bugs stopped moving, birds cased their incessant singing, a wolf pack that was just about to hunt down their prey stopped, frozen in their tracks, trembling, while even the wind itself cased howling.
Ceased, not cased.
The waves on the ocean seemed to stop and it became calm like the surface of a giant mirror. The battle on the steppes stopped, the moanings of the injured under their dead horses ceased as they couldn't let out even a whimper and even the most vigorous sailor went limp while looking out the window, following the source of that sound.
The waves on the ocean stopped, becoming calm, the surface looking like a giant mirror. The battle on the steppes came to a halt, even the moans of the injured under their dead horses ceased not even letting out a single whimper, and even the most vigorous of sailors had limp looking out their windows, towards the source of the sound. (I basically rewrote this one lol)
Everyone saw the same, be it the lord of a country, an emperor of a dynasty, the beggar on the biggest church's steps or just a cat, lazily soaking up the sun's warmth, lying on a porch. The scene that followed that sound… no, not sound, feeling, as it was… felt, all around the realm, by every living being, deep within their soul was beautiful yet horrifying.
Everyone saw the same, be it the lord of a country, an emperor of a dynasty, the beggar on the biggest church's steps, or even the cat, that was lazily soaking up the sun's warmth, on some porch. The scene that followed that sound… no, not sound, feeling. It was… felt, all around the realm, by every living being, (what?)deep within their soul was beautiful yet horrifying(what?).
No matter where you were standing, no matter if you were born blind, you were seeing it, feeling it…. The Tear in the Sky. It was like two invisible hands tore a giant gush into reality itself, showing what is behind the veil that no mortal's eyes should see.
No matter where you were standing, no matter if you were born blind, you saw it, you felt it…. The Tear in the Sky. It was like two invisible hands had tore a giant gash(gush??) into reality itself, showing what was behind the veil that no mortal's eyes should see.
The chaotic space that was filled with indigo mists and constant purple lightnings. At first it was without sound but soon the howling arrived, followed by the wind… the wind that didn't move any trees or even a blade of grass, but knocked people and animals off their feet, blowing through their flesh, their essence, their souls.
Behind, was a chaotic space that was filled with indigo mists and constant purple lightning. At first, there was nothing, but soon after a howling sound arrived, followed by the wind… the wind that didn't move any trees or even a blade of grass, but knocked people and animals off their feet, blowing through their flesh, their essence, even their souls.
Rumbled a shout through the entire realm, deep and coarse, like two metal scraps grinding against each other.
Rumbled a shout that could heard throughout the entire realm. The voice was deep and coarse, as if someone was grinding two pieces of metal scrap against each other.
Another voice came, feminine, charming… but cold. So cold.
Another voice could be heard. Feminine, charming… but it cold. So very cold.
Above the heavens where no mortal's eye could see, right below the Tear in the Sky stood a man in long, black garment, his hands hanging beside him, useless and torn, while his golden-purple blood slowly was dripping down on his fingers but before falling downwards, the Tear above him gobbled them up, defying gravity and the laws of nature. His white hair was hanging loosely behind his back while his red eyes were calm and collected, like nothing was happening.
Above the heavens where no mortal's eye could see, right below the Tear in the Sky stood a man in long, black garments. His hands hung beside him, useless and torn, while his golden-purple blood ran down his fingers, but the blood could drip down to the ground below, the Tear above him gobbled it up, defying gravity and the laws of nature. His white hair hung loosely behind his back, while his red eyes were calm and collected, as if nothing was wrong.
that covered up most of her body but still couldn't hide her almost perfectly shaped, curved body. Her black, long hair flew freely behind her, while her deep blue, starry eyes were watching him coldly.
that covered up most of her, but still couldn't hide her almost perfectly shaped, curved, body. Her black, long hair, flew freely behind her, while her deep blue, starry eyes watched him coldly.
watching him like an executioner watching his prisoner.
watching him like an executioner would watch his prisoner.
bald counterpart made his move while the twins followed just a step behind
bald counterpart made his move. The twins followed just a step behind
Nobody said anything, the bald man still held the sword firmly while the white haired man's skin started to crack and dry up slowly but he did nothing to stop it. The other three seemed like they were going to be able to patch the Sky as the Tear was slowly closing in but every one of them felt that he was right. It will never be the same.
Nobody said anything, the bald man still held the sword firmly, while the white haired man's skin, slowly, started to crack and dry up, as he did nothing to stop it. It seemed as if the other three were able to patch up the Sky, as the Tear slowly closed, but every one of them knew he was right. It would never be the same.
feeling like millions of animals stampeding through their veins. Animals were groaning, howling around the world, feeling the same and trees swaying without wind, their roots growing meters and meters by the minute, fishes under the ocean started swimming in weird formations while in their glossy eyes, intelligence started flashing.
feeling like millions of animals were stampeding throughout their veins. The animals were groaning, howling, all around the world, feeling much the same. The trees swayed without wind, their roots growing several(dozens?) meters by the minute. The fish under the ocean started swimming in weird formations, their glossy eyes flashing with hints of intelligence.
He laughed mockingly and his red eyes started to glow brighter and brighter. The bald man's eyes became more serious than before and decisively pulled out his sword, teleporting backwards while the dried up skin on the white haired man started to crack and glow brightly, causing similar cracks around him in space. It wasn't the same as the Tear in the Sky but those wound-like cracks were still terrifying, even to the Gods.
He laughed mockingly, his red eyes starting to glow brighter and brighter. The bald man's eyes became even more serious than before, and he decisively pulled out his sword, teleporting far away, while the dried up skin on the white haired man started to crack and glow brightly, causing similar cracks in space to appear around him. The cracks weren't the same as the Tear in the Sky, but those wound-like cracks were still terrifying, even to the Gods.
gobbling it up yourselves just so stop the birth of more of Us."
gobbling it up yourselves just so you could stop the birth of more of Us."
"Don't you dare call yourself the same as US!" the green clothed lady barked at him while they were still closing up the Sky and the Tear was getting smaller and smaller. Their faces were pale and their clothes were getting soaked by sweat. They no longer remembered these feelings that appeared in their minds. Supposedly only mortals were affected by it, but now it came washing over them as they were hoping to fix something that cannot be fixed.
"Don't you dare call yourself the same as US!" the green clothed lady barked at him while they were still closing up the Sky. The Tear was getting smaller and smaller. Their faces were pale and their clothes were soaked in sweat. They had long since forgotten these feelings that were plaging their minds. Supposedly only mortals were affected by them, but now it came at them, washing over them as they tried, desperately, to fix something that could not be fixed.
Because from now on, in only a few eons later Gods will rise and then They will reopen the Sky to go further than any of Us!"
Because from now on, in just a few eons, new Gods will rise, and they will reopen the Sky and go further than any of Us!"
Said while he started to laugh and place his raised hands on his chest.
He said, while starting to laugh and place his raised hands on his chest.
The Tear that just has been patched up
The Tear that had just been patch up
His voice became fainter and fainter, while his body started to fall apart while his God Crystal was getting brighter and brighter, illuminating the whole realm even underground the earth.
His voice became fainter and fainter, his body starting to fall apart, while his God Crystal was getting brighter and brighter, illuminating the whole realm, even underground beneath the earth.
The Crystal, fed by the energy beyond the Sky reached its limit and shone brighter than anything for a second then went out like a candle snuffed out by a pinch of fingers.
The Crystal, fed by the energy beyond the Sky, reached its limit and shone brighter than anything for a second, before going out like a candle which had been snuffed out by a pinch of ones fingers.
Said the youngest looking boy while raising his hand that glowed with faint purple like energy before it faded and all three of them vanished from the same spot…
Said the youngest looking boy, raising his hand which glowed with faint purple like energy before fading. All three of them vanished…
Yea f*ck this I'm never doing it again. Took waaaaaaaaay to long. Why did I even do this??? At first I just wanted to fix some of basic grammar mistakes and it resulted in me basically rewriting entire sentences.
Hey at least I know I'm not cut out to be an editor!
I appriciate it. I am going to go through it when I am before a computer again and see to some of the suggested changes.
@RandomReviewer I went through all of the mentioned paragraphs and suggestions. I made changes to most of them. (not all). Thank you for the effort, truly.
I hope in the later chapters there are less grammatical errors to bother you or any other readers. I am sorry for those mistakes but I also hope I improved as I went along, writing it. Hell, I when I first wrote this, nobody told me I was using the names/pronouns in a wrong order, placing them at the wrong part of the sentences. I wrote the whole damned thing like that!
Anyway, I am thankful for any suggestions and critiques like you wrote here! I am going to try and improve my writing based on those in the future.
@Corty Yea, the issue is there's no way to highlight changes in color, so a lot of the grammar mistakes I fixed got missed. Doesn't help that I started mixing in subjective changes, and even some of the grammar fixes needed guesses on my part, such as;
even underground the earth.
Where I had to guess if the "underground" was a location, or if you just meant "under the ground, beneath the earth."
Oh, how lovely. In the process I screwed up and accidentally pressed post, and when I copied and deleted that comment (because it wasn't finished yet), I lost all my italics! It was supposed to be "Feminine, charming… but it cold. So very cold." Just ignore that I forgot the "was" in "but it was cold."