Chapter 186:

Fading

Jace's birthday ended, and with it came the departing of those who had gathered. Evelyn held onto Jace for dear life, even as she was falling asleep. Not wanting to leave "her Prince" as she kept muttering tiredly. Only letting go when he teased her about how he steals pretty girls.

Her eyes shot wide awake, and she latched onto her mother. Evelyn eyed him warily, but nonetheless with a smile as she waved goodbye. It had been good seeing the Rosemist Family.

Balek and the Nobles left together, what few had come with him anyways. Those who worked at Radiance and knew Jace growing up. Nadine was left behind, spending time with Jace's mother and Olivia, still talking and chatting away. Jace was getting more proficient at anchoring her.

The Mercer Agents departed, and security went back to their business elsewhere. This left Jace and those closest to him alone. Rachel seemed to have grown a lot more comfortable around Briana as they talked about various anime and other shows while Gloria and Gabriel listened in. Liana, Selene, and Kiera were chatting about various business they still had to attend before they grew more.

Jace, for his part, watched them all. It was a rare moment that he could finally take things in. Everything had happened so quickly for him lately. Would he finally have time to just...take it in? He hoped that would be the case.

It was strange for him to think so, as he was always going so fast. Every second had been precious for him in the past several years, but now...what was there to rush? He smiled fondly, realizing that this was it.

He would of course be busy once his children were born, but until then...he could simply take it one day at a time. Not worrying too much about time. He had all of it he could ever want now.

"Heh...my children..." The thought seemed so alien to him, and yet it was the truth. He would, one day, be raising kids. Probably many of them, with how his love life was going. "It'll definitely get busy around here..." He smiled, for he didn't think that would be such a bad thing.

There was one thing that felt like it was missing, as he felt the pull begin to happen. Glancing over, he met eyes with Nadine, who realized it as well. Her anchoring was coming to an end. She'd have to return soon. He smiled bittersweetly. A smile that was returned by her.

Nadine said her goodbyes to everyone. Giving his mother and Liana hugs. She had already said her goodbyes to Balek when he left, having to take care of some Radiance business. She came, floating over in all her splendor. Looking up at her with sad eyes, Nadine smiled gently.

"It's never goodbye, you know," she told him softly.

"I know," Jace nodded and sighed, "I just...it's not getting easier. Even though I can summon you like this. Anchor you for a few hours...it's wearing on you."

"Shhh," Nadine shook her head, glancing cautiously at everyone who were distracted with their own conversations after having said their goodbyes, "Let's go outside. We can talk there."

There was love in her sorrow filled eyes. Jace nodded, letting everyone know he was going to take a walk with Nadine before returning. Their expressions gentle, telling him to take all the time he needed.

Together, they made their way outside. It was nighttime now. The moon hung high in the sky. The Spring night was slightly humid with a cool breeze. Honestly, it was quite pleasant.

The sounds of conversation dimmed as they made their way further from everyone. Winding their way silently through the walkways of the penthouse terrace. Finding themselves within one of the gardens.

A small courtyard surrounded by a stone wall. It was filled with flower bushes and a sand garden in the center surrounded by grass. A small stream babbled through. Nearby, there were several benches, but this isn't where he went to. No, he walked past everything, Nadine floating next to him.

He made is way to the circular archway on the opposite side of the garden. Walking through, he found himself at the edge of the penthouse. A balcony overseeing New Eden and all its glamorous lights. With the moonlight filtering down through the sky, it basked everything in an almost ethereal light.

Jace leaned against the metallic railing and gazed out over the city. Nadine was silent as she joined him in this sightseeing. Neither of them wanting to speak but both knowing they had to.

"Before you say anything," Jace whispered, his expression surprisingly calm, "I just want to say...that I know you'll tell me it's my choice."

Nadine was silent, but her presence was soothing.

"Did you know?" Jace asked her, glancing out of the corner of his eye in her direction, "I thought I could do it as much as I wanted, but...you're fading."

"Everyone has their time," Nadine spoke gently, but her words were heavy, "To answer your question, though...no, I didn't. I may have taught you, but I don't know everything."

"Heh, I guess not..." Jace sighed, taking a deep breath, "There's always something, isn't there?"

"It keeps things exciting," Nadine joked, laughing lightly.

Jace smiled slightly, his heart a strange mix of emotions both sad and happy. What the two of them were talking about was something pertaining to Nadine's existence. Every time he anchored her, made her "whole", it was slowly fading her from reality.

In other words, she was passing on with each time he summoned her. She was being called. Neither of them knew how much longer she had before she ceased to exist and...go to wherever the dead go when they hold no more earthly ties.

The thing is, Nadine didn't want to leave. This was forcing her to. Eventually, she would fade completely unless something was done.

"A bit too excited for my tastes," Jace chuckled, "Is there nothing we can do? I don't...want to lose you again. I can't bring myself to tell everyone that I..."

Jace felt the tears come as a sadness that had been buried deep suddenly resurfaced. He felt the gentle, warm embrace of Nadine as she wrapped her arms around him from behind.

"I don't want to tell them...that I killed you again..." Jace's words became choked up.

"Shh, what nonsense is that?" Nadine told him firmly, love deep in her words, "You're not killing me. You never killed me. I chose my path, and we chose this together. We had no idea what would happen."

"But now we do," Jace swallowed his tears as best as he could, "Everything was going so well. My mother is cured. I'm starting a family. I know I will be fine, but I...I don't want to do it without you, Mother."

Nadine's embrace around him tightened. He felt the wetness against his face as her cheek pressed against his. She was crying her own tears.

"I don't want to leave you, my son," she told him softly, "I don't want to leave my daughter. I want to see my grandchildren. If I can spend even a single moment more...I would do anything. You know that."

Jace placed his hands over her arms, hugging them to him. They both knew that Nadine had once accepted what happened to her, but the more time she spent with everyone, the more she grew attached again. Her earthly desires were returning.

She had once been tied to everyone as a ghost. Allowing her to watch over them, but now...this anchoring had messed things up. It was changing things. She was becoming more stubborn, and as such...the pull of the abyss was getting stronger.

Like quicksand, the more she struggled, the further she sunk. Jace refused to allow her to sink. He refused to lose her another time.

"I won't let that happen," Jace told her with conviction, "Whatever it takes. I'll figure it out. For the first time in my life, I feel happy to have been born. I won't lose you."

"You've always been a sweet child..." Nadine whispered to him fondly before turning a bit melancholy, "But Jace, promise me. If there's nothing to be done, don't blame yourself. I-"

"Don't say that," Jace shook his head firmly, "I will figure it out."

"Jace..." Nadine called his name almost forlornly, "Don't lose yourself again."

Her words suddenly resonated in him. His mind had been growing dark, but her voice broke through and he saw clearly again. His head sunk into his hands as he began to laugh lightly.

"I almost did..." Jace took a deep breath, "Thank you, but I do mean it. I will figure something out. Let's...try not to think of the alternative for now."

"Alright," Nadine smiled softly, "Let's do that. You have power now. It might be possible, but I don't want you to lose yourself. Remember what you've learned and all you've been through."

"Yeah..." Jace nodded, "You're right. I can't lose myself after everything. Everything I went through, all the things you and everyone else did would be for nothing."

Standing from the railing, Jace took another deep, calming breath. Nadine floated around him, taking his hands in hers. She smiled lovingly, looking down at him as the moonlight illuminated her. He returned her smile fondly.

She looked so beautiful. Liana definitely took after her.

"I'll have to ask for help," Jace told her, to which she nodded, "It may take some time."

"I'll be waiting," Nadine replied quietly, then shrugged, "I think I can do that."

"I'll have to withhold anchoring you..." Jace said, and she smiled.

"So, no different than normal, right?" she chuckled, her laughter a pleasant sound.

"You may lose yourself," Jace warned her, and her expression grew solemn.

"Maybe," she said softly, "You'll just have to set me right."

"...Deal," Jace smiled lovingly up at her, "I'll see you soon."

"Deal," Nadine squeezed his hands, "I'm proud of you."

With reluctance, Jace released the anchor and watched as Nadine's color began to fade away to that familiar teal. Like petals in the wind, Nadine drifted away to rest. Taking a moment to let everything settle, Jace gave one last look back out at the moonlight Neo City. New Eden a shining jewel that they said would make anything possible.

Jace turned away, walking back with a quiet resolve. His mind was clear, unclouded. Perhaps, what they said about New Eden was right. "Let's make the impossible...possible." Jace dried his eyes and began planning.

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