Chapter 3: Something’s Wrong With You

It was Seldi who had marched Jyn into the courtroom. She was their squad’s tactical appraiser, being the highest-leveled with the skill among them. She had seen more of Kalender’s status than Jyn.

Jyn was in cuffs, but she wouldn’t be shoved into the cage together with the Cursed One. Instead, she was chained to a pole beside the cage. It was a long chain, long enough that it allowed her to walk up before the judge.

The inquisitor started.

“Before I begin, this is merely a review, not a trial. Your judgement has already been decided according to the evidence collected. If the present parties have anything to add, it will be quoted in the official records. This may affect future proceedings in case of an appeal—if you are allowed to appeal.”

He looked to both Kalender and Jyn. Kalender’s miff levels were rocketing to previously unknown levels, and he was making a face flatter than modern concrete sidewalks, staring off into some indeterminate middle space. The inquisitor said they’d collected all the evidence, but they never once got his statement!

Jyn was more … resigned, her shoulders dropped down. Seldi was standing beside her, but she had to keep distance, all according to protocol—but damn the protocol if she could, even just to reassure Jyn a little that the outcome wouldn’t be so severe.

None of these fazed Inquisitor Yal.

“From testimonies collected from Thorn Squad of Avon Company, Regiment Tertius, the individual named Kalender is deemed non-violent—”

Kalender liked hearing that.

“—but uncertain.”

Kalender did not like hearing that.

“… The Scarlet Branch of the Inquisition has deemed it suitable to administer the Carmine Test to the Cursed Reincarnator, Kalender, and to the nominal sergeant of Thorn Squad, Knight Jyn.”

At these words, Jyn’s head bowed even lower. Kalender was just confused.

“Do any present parties wish to speak? Hear again that your words will be appended to official records.”

Seldi wanted to say something, but what could she say? She said everything that she could during the interview, and this was the result of that. She could only say what she’d already said, and that wouldn’t change a thing.

“Uh, yeah, just a few things.” Kalender raised his hand. Inquisitor Yal’s gaze landed on him, saying nothing. Kalender took this as his cue.

“A-alright. Could you, please, maybe, answer a few of my questions?”

Yal considered this for a moment. They had little information about Kalender, besides what had been appraised off of him. There was no one to interview him until today, as Yal had been out-of-town.

Really, he’d just sorted the case out earlier in the morning. It might do well to hear Kalender’s side now.

“… Go on.”

“Right. I have a lot I wanna say, so I’ll just lay down my agenda for a bit. First, I wanna put out my experiences until now. Second, I just wanna ask about this place. Is that okay?”

“… Continue.”

Kalender talked about Minimine tasking him to find a temple dedicated to Maximine, and what had transpired in that strange, wibbly-wobbly white space. He couldn’t quite remember the form of the intruder, but he was pretty darn sure he was the cause of all of this.

He didn’t neglect to mention that he was literally just a bit over a day old in this world. He was a bit surprised that they were taking this Reincarnator thing pretty smoothly. They might be surprisingly common around here.

“… This is my first time hearing a story about the Divine Realm, assuming this is true.”

It’s not inconsistent with Yal’s own knowledge, but it wasn’t something he could believe in just one go.

More importantly, it didn’t really change the facts. Kalender was a Cursed One, and he had charmed a knight in service to the kingdom.

“Your questions?” Yal asked.

“Right. I’ve got two … at the moment, but anyway—first, why’s nearly everyone women? Second, what’s a Carmine Test?”

The first question turned quite a few heads, but everyone had the ‘Ah, right, a 1-day-old adult’ thought almost all at the same time.

Yal thought to answer this as academically as he could. “Per our best records, Reincarnators come from worlds with different gender ratios to our own; sometimes it is skewed, sometimes it is balanced. It is our best understanding that there is no particular reason that our world has more women than men, as it has always been that way. One could say that you are the strange one, here.”

Huh, makes sense.

“As to your second question, you will be administered a powerful serum that will heighten your inner desires, and then isolated together with the knight that you have charmed—”

What the hell sort of test is that? Kalender’s morality engine was fuming.

“—If you do not fall to depravity, you pass the test.”

Kalender raised his hand with the number three—a third question. Yal nodded.

“Isn’t that sort of unfair to the girl?”

Yal considered the question for a moment, and deduced that it came from a difference in moral views.

“In our and most other countries, the charmed women are considered ‘lost.’ By now, you must have noticed the term ‘Flagged’ in your Companion’s status?”

Kalender’s eyes shot wide. Yal chuckled.

"We have had this problem for a long time, of course we would know. That ‘Flagged’ status, even if it implies a mere first phase, is as good as final. It will progress on its own without your intervention, albeit slowly.

“Their thoughts will always drift to you, until one day they are obsessed, and there is nothing that can break it. If they only become an unproductive burden, they would be treated as such and they would simply see a doctor or—whatever manner of healer villages have. However, they … become a danger to society.”

“… What kind of danger?”

“All of them will eventually commit murder, or even mass murder, out of passion or sorrow. There have been instances of violent cults being formed by those charmed by the same man.”

What … is this? Kalender shook his head and hid his frown. What a joke to call it a [Blessing].

“So what, this Carmine Test, what happens when I pass it? What happens to … her?” He couldn’t bear to use her name, and bowed his head as he referred to her.

“The kingdom will be happy to let you live an ordinary life. Knight Jyn will receive mercy upon your death. If you sire any children, thankfully the curse does not affect them. They may be placed under the care of the kingdom if you die too soon.”

“… receive ‘mercy’?”

“She will be isolated before she feels the recoil of your death from the curse. Any details are taken care of in her name, and her honor will be retained. She may request … a quiet death, if the pain is too severe.”

It was too much to take in for him. Jyn’s fate was irreversibly tied to his own. He opened his status, and noted a damning change.

***

[Companions]

Jyn (Flagged)
Knight of Lyrica
Lvl. 11 Human
Affection: 5

***

“Any other questions?” Yal asked. Kalender’s cage was steaming from all the heat that it was producing. Its runes were hard at work purging the magic from Kalender’s very words.

“No. I’d like to make a statement.”

Yal nodded.

"I get now why you call this a curse. It really is. I don’t want to victimize a random person just because they heard my voice. I thought I’d be making some nice friends here, you know? Didn’t think I wouldn’t be able to do it anymore from the get-go.

“So—what I’ll do, when I pass that test, I wanna ask for your help.”

Yal raised an eyebrow.

“I really do,” Kalender continued. "This is your sort of work, isn’t it? I just need to visit a church or temple dedicated to Maximine. I don’t know if Minimine’s gonna show up, or leave a message for me—I don’t know. But I wanna find out, then I can go out and make things … make this curse less painful for everyone.

“That’s what I want to do. I hate this curse already. I want to fight it.”

Kalender stopped talking. A quiet settled in, interrupted by the flipping of pages and Yal writing off a few notes here and there.

Yal nodded. “I’m impressed,” he said. “If you pass the test, then by all means, ask for my name in full: Inquisitor Djarren Yal of the Sixth Station, of the Fourth Night. Tell any knight these exact words, and they will take you seriously.” He smirked. “I haven’t yet encountered a Cursed One who’d outright declared opposition to a god. Not that the other gods would mind if it’s that one, so be at ease, the world will be on your side.” He paused. “Pass the test first, however.”

Before he adjourned the session, he left a final note.

“Oh, you should be informed. Failing the test will lead to one of two fates: execution, or to become a Beast of Libido, to be used as living punishment against treasonous women officials. I personally believe that the latter is a worse fate for any man, so if given the choice, perhaps you should again gamble on reincarnation and start things right next time.”

Absolutely medieval. The way of thinking in this world upset him, but he said nothing of it. If he said anything, he’d be the crazy one here.

Well. He might forgive execution as a means of defusing a walking time bomb. This world was a little more—wild in how it worked, with or without human ideas of morality at play.

They put the cuffs back on him and let him out of the cage. He didn’t—couldn’t—meet eyes with Jyn.

All that he had to do now was pass the test.