Chapter 84: To Walk with Jyn

What did it take for a man like him to decide to devote himself wholly and entirely to one person? Was it a want for happiness? Family? Carnal desire the likes of which he had never experienced before?... Maybe not that last one.

There was something he wanted to test.

He stood up and tugged at Jyn’s arm. “Let’s take a walk,” he said. Jyn wasn’t sure what to make of this, but he was asking, and she wasn’t opposed.

She stood up, and they went outside. All the while, there was a blankness in Kalender’s mind. Whatever anxiety he once had, they were gone, replaced by only one goal before him: to take a walk around town.

The day was ending, and the sky was beautiful.

He took Jyn’s hand, to her fluster, and guided it to his arm.

“A-are we taking a walk like this?” It might not have been the scandal of the century, but news outlets in Jyn’s brain cell city were reporting it like that.

“Well, you’re tense whenever I hold your hand, so I thought this would be better for you... is it?”

“I-it’s fine,” she said. Even if it wasn’t as bad, it nonetheless felt like walking a tightrope into dangerous territory.

They started walking. Tranquility filled Kalender’s mind; every bump in the road registered under his feet; the fluttering of birds’ wings and the shouting of laborers packing up for the day filled his ears; the sun was low enough that only the rooftops shone bright, casting orange-hued shadows on the roads below.

For the first minute, Jyn’s eyes darted to the roofs and to the road, but never straight ahead. By the second minute, she was managing to look ahead every now and then—and then she’d look at Kalender—and then she’d look away, once again regressing into a maiden who hadn’t seen a man before.

By the third minute, she thought of herself as a pitiable knight. To be defeated by mere extended physical contact! Pweh!

Regardless of her thoughts, she was on the back foot in her mind. Indeed, it was a dire situation: her dignity was going to collapse like the Republic’s stock market any time now, and with it, her marriageability in Kalender’s eyes.

That was when she realized... This must be a test! Kalender had always had an eye for people, and the way she was reacting in this situation must be what he was using to decide on the future of their very relationship! Goddesses above, witness me!

... Obviously not. Kalender wanted to test something, but Jyn’s confidence wasn’t it.

Ten minutes later, they arrived at the marketplace before the south gate.

Convinced that she was being evaluated, Jyn scanned the area, identifying targets—sorry, stalls from which she could pick out gifts for Kalender. This was clearly a test to see how well she knew him.

They passed by an accessories stall, but it was all stuff for women. There were rings and bracelets for either gender, but was Kalender into those in the first place? He was more of a craftsman, so maybe not.

The next stall was filled with tools: hammers, chisels, pliers, carving knives, scrapers, and more. Jyn’s spirits lifted upon seeing those. She faced Kalender. “Those look interesting,” she said, pointing at the tools.

He looked at her, following her finger to the stall. “Oh, cool. I’m not sure if we need those, though.”

That was when she remembered that he did all his crafting with magic. Mission failed.

The last stall was filled with weapons: swords, spearheads, specialty arrows, and stone bullets.

... Not romantic at all. Mission failed harder.

By the time they reached the south gate itself, Kalender was a little concerned about why Jyn seemed much too tired for just a little walk. “Are you okay?” he asked.

She looked up from the ground. “Everything will be alright.”

“What’s with that phrasing...”

As Kalender shook his head with a light chuckle, Jyn finally noticed where they were. “Why the south gate?” she asked. She’d thought that the market was the destination, but were they actually going outside? The gate was wide open, though there were just a token few people going in and out—most likely temple-goers.

“Oh, we’re going out,” Kalender replied.

“Out? Outside the town?” What could possibly...

Kalender pointed at the slope of the hill on which the temple row sat. “I heard about an old bench over there that repels slimes. Well...”

“I see.”

It was such a terse reply that Kalender had to look at Jyn to check if she wasn’t mad.

There was a light blush on her cheek, nearly camouflaged under the color of the sunset.

They walked down the paved road, then after some distance, diverted to the dirt footpath leading up to the temple row. Jyn was still holding onto Kalender’s arm as they ascended the gentle slope of the hill, having gotten more used to it now than a while ago.

Around the halfway point to the temple row, they diverted again to a narrower footpath, lightly obscured by knee-high grasses; had they not known about it in advance, they wouldn’t have seen it.

The bench itself wasn’t far from the main footpath. It was this old, oaken thing, put together with pure jointwork and no nails nor glue at all. The grain of the wood was pronounced and showing, but it still smelled nice, and when they sat down together, it didn’t move at all.

From here, they could see the south gate, parts of the road leading to it, and parts of the footpath leading up to the temple row behind them.

There wasn’t a single person along the path. It was just them. The chilly wind, announcing the coming winter, forced them closer together; in this matter alone, Jyn didn’t mind.

Kalender chuckled. “I’m suddenly sleepy.”

“This isn’t a good place to sleep,” Jyn said with an instructor-ish tone. She paused, realizing how she must’ve sounded to him. “I mean” —

“Yeah, I know.” Kalender chuckled. “I just wanted to show you the view.”

Only on his prompting did Jyn stop actively scanning the environment for enemies.

The sun was resting on the left shoulder of Harmony’s outline. Its shadows made it look like a toy house.

The town was larger than she thought—almost like a city, if it grew just a bit more.

“Page told me about it,” Kalender said.

“She did?”

“I think the reason why she’s so upbeat is because she’s always hanging around places like this. Makes the world larger than we usually see it.”

There was an undertone to his words that Jyn couldn’t quite figure out. “You sound...different,” she said.

Kalender chuckled. “Yeah, well, when you confess your feelings like that, it tends to knock a guy’s soul into higher planes.”

The residual memory of such an embarrassing thing hit Jyn all at once. She turned her head so fast it was like his words physically punched her comic-style. Kalender had to keep his laughter in, but it still leaked out in spurts.

“So mean...” Jyn muttered, giving Kalender’s arm a a gentle squeeze. She looked back towards Harmony. The wind was chillier now, but at least the sun was still hitting them. It liked to take its time sinking, it seemed.

“Page found this place, was it?” she muttered. Kalender hummed in affirmation.

She leaned on Kalender’s shoulder, nervous for a moment that he would shy away, or shoo her away, but he didn’t. It still took a moment for her to settle down on the feeling, but when she did, she absently let out a question.

“Why not Pa—”

She quieted her voice towards the end as she realized what she was about to ask.

Kalender was no fool, however. This matter was important to her, and if not now, then it would be. It was a question better answered now—even if not for her, then for himself.

He, too, wanted to know, which was why he brought Jyn here.

Rather, the destination wasn’t the goal. He wanted to know what peace felt like with Jyn. He wanted to know what normality was like with her around. What was the color of the sun? What did noise sound like? Was there warmth in the cold?—with her.

“Because she’s a free spirit,” Kalender answered. “It’s not because I don’t love her enough for it. It’d just make her really sad to have to give up her freedom, and I’m not that selfish of a person to ask her to do that.”

Jyn sank further into his shoulder as he continued, “I want everyone I know to be happy and free, and not just because of me.”

Those words made Jyn think that she was being selfish to ask him to marry her. “Forget about what I said,” she said.

“I won’t,” Kalender replied. His sudden staunchness put Jyn on the back foot, but more than that, why was he being like this? Kalender pulled Jyn closer. Was that supposed to be some kind of assurance?

“I think I already have an answer,” he continued. In the brief moment following those words, Jyn’s heart raced—only to be tempered by what he said next: “But I need to give myself two days, so I don’t change my mind.” He patted her on the head—a move which put Jyn in critical meltdown. “So when I tell you,” he continued, “I won’t be afraid of taking it back.”

Kalender had 99% of an answer. He lied about something though: the wait wasn’t just for himself, because for a moment there, Interpersonal Bubble hinted at Jyn’s wavering heart. As much as he needed to be ready to deliver his answer, he felt that Jyn needed that time much more than he did.