The Story of a Basterd.

I was born a basterd..

And I’ll die one.

These thoughts race through my head as the fine white power rushes up the $100 dollar bill into my nasal cavity to quickly enter my blood stream. 

The rush hits me. 

Heart rate accelerates.

There’s a thrum of energy coursing through my veins.

“Ahh, fuck yea.” I exhale.

“Having Fun~?” An unfamiliar voice fills me ear.

“NIGGA WHAT?!?!?” I jump up in surprise, my knee slams into the coffee table. The pain numbed by the adrenaline coursing through me. “WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?!?”

“Someone is screaming at voices in there head. That’s so cute. Now shut the fuck up and listen to me mortal.”

I laugh loudly at myself. “Bad drugs. It’s just bad drugs. I’ve had weirder trips. This is nothing. Get it toge-“ an intense pain burns at the base of my skull and lights up down my spine. I twist into the couch in agony. The intensity of it all squeezes the air from my lungs.. and I can’t seem to suck it back in.

My vision goes pure white. Black starts to creep in from the edges.

Fuck.. this is it.

All at once the pain is gone. I’m left gasping into the couch cushions. My body twitches uncontrollably..

“Look at me. I am your Goddess now.”

Did this bitch just qoute a movie.

I can’t take it. A deep belly laugh rips through me smothered by the cotton of the couch. 

I’ve gone insane.

“No, no mortal. I haven’t driven you insane yet. I have a use for you.” The sultry voice whispers in my ear. This voice is stirring something in me. The challenge in her voice is daring me to fight her or fuck her and I’m not sure which is the more stupid decision.

“Alright, this is the part where I ask what you want from me and you sell me on some bullshit.”

“So much profanity. You are just delicious. I might have to give you a chance to.. fight or fuck me.” The voice seems to be growing more powerful some how. Not louder just more.. clear. As if a bad cell signal started clearing up. “For now, I will just have to seen how useful you can be. I need someone who can bring.. conflict to a situation. Someone not afraid to be the villain in a world that has gotten.. boring.”

“Pause.. are you calling me evil?”

“Are you denying it?”

. . .

“I have never hurt anyone.”

“You haven’t.”

“I’ve never done anything evil in my life.”

“You haven’t”

“So Why Are You Bothering Me???”

“You know..”

. . .

Damn.. I do.

I have known for a long time that I was a bit different. I think differently from those around me. I have always had strategic way of looking at a room and seeing how to take it apart.

If I ever had a little power. I’m almost scared of what I would do with it..

I’m no fucking Peter Parker.

“Go on..”

“You know the trope. Another world, fabulous magic powers, and all kinds of adventures. I just need you to become a menace to society and burn every corner you can reach. You know what? Your goal will be to topple the government and end the entire royal family line. After that I’ll send you back home if you want.. or I can grant you any One wish you desire.. anything or anyone.”

“I swear you are the devil.”

“How appropriate. You may call me Lilith..”

All at once the world blackens, a drowsiness hits me like a massive truck in a shitty anime. I swear my head bounces off the couch, but I can’t even feel it as I lose concouisness.

[OBJECTIVE ONE: Use Your Power]

[Reward: 100 silver]

I hear birds chirping all around me. I open my eyes to find myself in the woods. Sunlight streaming through the foilage seems to sparkle against the morning dew. The air that fills my long tastes sweeter somehow. More pure. I push myself up to my feet and look around.

And around and around and around.

It’s too much to take in.

How did I get here? 

Was that conversation real or was I really fucked up.

“Morning sunshine.”

“FUCK!!!” My shout echoes in the quiet forest. Birds scramble all over themselves at the sudden noise. My frustration builds withn me.

It was real or it’s still happening. It seems like I’m Lilith’s new bitch boy.

“Someone is not a morning person. But that’s good. Let’s put that morning tension to work. See that tree in front of you? The one with the thickest trunk. I want you to raise your hand and try directing your energy into destroying it. Trust me, it’s not hard.”

“Hold up. Hooollld the fuck up. Where are my clothes? Why am I naked?”

“Shhh shhh. Stay focused and let me enjoy my little eye candy. There’s nothing more beautiful than the human body.”

This bitch..

I feel the anger rise in me like a tidal wave about to break. I raise my hand at the tree and in my head I see an explosion. I see pure oxygen gathering near in a bubble around the bark and I see the most powerful force I can think of setting it alright and spilling it apart atom by atom.

I see hydrogen smashing together as the would to form a sun.

. . . Nothing happens.

“Hey.. What The fuck? I thought this was supposed to be eas-

The wave of anger in me somehow crests and pours out of me. 

The sensation is overwhelming. As if some energy flows around me, it flows through me and it pours into the world.

I fall to my knees feeling completely drained. I dry heave hard. Nothing comes out. My breathing is hard and ragged. I just can’t seem to catch my breathe.

That fucking sucked.

I look up to see what if anything I have done to the tree.

It’s still standing.

It’s completely fucking fine.

Nothing has changed.

But I am so bone tired after whatever the hell I just did.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?”

“Uhm.. what you asked.”

“GET DOWN!!”

I feel it now. A vibration in the air. The space around the tree that was my target starts to glow a little. 

I have no further questions.

I turn and run.

My legs pump harder than they ever have. I know my life depends on this. 

The vibration grows. I can feel it in my feet as I run. 

The animals nearby feel it too. A panic takes over the early morning hours as birds caw and take flight. Small creatures are running in every direction not even sure where the danger is coming from.

I’m gonna die. This is it.. I enjoyed what I did.. my only regret..

Not trying out this whole evil thing.

A pure light washes over the area. Even with my eyes closed and my back to the epicenter all I can see is light.

I’m on the ground again. But I’m in a lot more pain this time. It feels like I’ve bruised every inch of my body.

The sound starts coming back to me.

My vision creeps back into focus.

The woods are still here.

I am still here. 

I’m still alive.

I laugh harder than I have ever laughed before. The relief that washes over me is like euphoria. 

Go to another world they said. Shit will be fun they said.

My laugh begins to turn a little maniacal. I feel like I’m on the edge of my sanity. 

Then I turn around.

It’s gone.

Everything is gone behind me.

The definition of scorched earth lays before me. Ground blackened and charred. Fire and ash choke the sun from the sky behind me.

The world is a ruin.

I did this.

I did this..

“You’d be dead if I didn’t step in, idiot. Do you see how deeply you have marked the world. That was stupid. That was so stupid. I can’t believe you’re so fucking stupid.”

“Instructions unclear. Dick stuck in toaster.”

“Oh and now you want to try and be funny? You know what’s funny. Mana sickness. Enjoy.”

“Mana wh-?”

And I’m facedown in the dirt again.

All the strength leaves my body as I tumble forward. I feel so weak.. like I just had a bad flu that has me immobile in my bed.

Except.. I’m naked in a forest in another world, ass in the air like a flag of patriotism.

Then the shaking starts.

I am convulsing on the ground. My muscles straining out the last of their small strength fighting themselves. 

I groan as I reevaluate my definition of agony. 

On and on it goes.. waves of convulsions followed by laying in the ground feeling empty.

An hour or a day. I have no idea How long I was on the ground.

But when I know I’m fully awake when I hear the most annoying alarm clock that God could ever create.

“Good morning.”

Fuck.. Off.

“Is that anyway to speak to a Goddess?”

Kill yourself.

“You did this to yourself you know?”

Can I click my heels together now. I’d like to go back home to Kansas.

“Bit late for that. But on the bright side, you passed your first objective and you’ve earned your reward! Here’s some spending money to enjoy the town nearby. Or you can hunt around this forest for game or monsters to kill for more rewards. Just.. don’t Nuke the place again.”

I recall what happened to get me here. 

That explosion.

That was all me. 

I sit up to take another look at my surroundings. The fires have burned out. But the ruined land remains. The devastation is on a scale I have never seen. It must be at least a mile of land, maybe more.

I did this.

With my own power.

I look down at my hands and clench my fists. I feel it now. The mana that flowed through me to create this destruction. The mana that has built up in me again and is ready for use. 

In these hands, I have the power to take life on a massive scale 

And I was sent to this world to be a menace to society.

To be the Evil Basterd I was born to be..

This could be fun.