Day 7 - Morning

Fort Matthew - Royal Residence

*schlurp* *shlop*

Fuuuuck. Chen really loves to suck dick.

*slup* *glup*

Poor Nina. She wanted Cynthia for her nuns with guns squad. But couldn’t get the skank to say yes. Nor get Sarah, Macia and the others to accept her. There is some seriously bad blood between them. So Cynth quietly left with Ely and Sybel for the Condos. 

You know, they mentioned the mother but I don't recall hearing anything about the father. Is he dead? Hmm…

After more snuggling, getting even more blood all over me, my nunbot gathered her new recruits and left. Heading for Carlton Heights. That’s a couple hours away in the middle of the night. Hell, I'm not even sure the gate will let them through.

Nina was confident she’d make it though and considered it good “training” for the girls. Taking dozens of hookers with zero combat skills through monster infested ruins in the middle of the night?

Yikes.

Told the late Mr Grant that I was going to be fucking in the mini-palace just to piss him off. Actually headed for my, Louis’s, shop. In the western corner of Fort Matthew, south of the sports complex. Formerly the academy’s oft neglected machine shop.

Jet and the others told me it had been stripped bare after Johnny spread the rumor I was dead. But I figured they couldn’t take everything, right? Had converted the second floor into a pretty sweet apartment. Good locks and solid doors. So surely it's still there.

Sigh…

Nope. Assholes just cut through the wall instead. Every fucking thing is gone. They even stole the shitter. I really liked that toilet too. A rare bird with a two gallon tank and jet nozzles. No matter how big the turd. It stood as much chance as Kramer against the Commando 450.¹https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMITcQUe-9M Even had a heated cushion seat.

I’d been looking forward to taking a dump in that baby all week!

So it's midnight and I’m wandering the streets looking for a place to crash. In my own damn town. About to hit up the inn the council bought when Cecilia calls. Saying catwoman and company have finished cleaning up the “royal residence” and wanted to know when I would arrive.

Well I’ll be right there.

The, uh, staff had closed off the heavily damaged rooms but, fortunately, that didn’t include the mayor’s bedroom. A king sized four poster bed fit for a king. The King of France that is. Jesus. Gold, blue and white paint and fabrics everywhere. Everything is gilded and ornately carved and sculpted. Like some suicide bomber charged in and baroqued all over the place.

Fuck it. Was too tired to care at that point. Barely banged the babes brains out during our tensome before falling asleep myself. Tensome? Yeah, Ce, Lez, Carly, Jet, Kas, Chen, Ali, Bry, Ema and me. No way we could all fit on the bed so bunches of pillows and blankets were brought in.

Turning the reverse gangbang into a slumber orgy.

And now I'm waking up the way I like. ♫The best part of waking up. Is nuttin in her cup.♫ God damn, I needed this.

This feels like it's gonna last, so might as well check my stats while my dingle tingles. 

• [ Name: John Barton | Race: Terran(Human) | Age: Male Adult(18) | Level: 51 ]
• [ Class: Technomancer B… Bard C… Carnalist C… Electrineer D… | Rank: Silver B ]
• [ Strength: 62(+20) | Endurance: 68(+20) | Agility: 67(+20) ]
• [ Intelligence: 88(+10) | Wisdom: 137 | Charisma: 51(-30) ]
• [ Health: 567/700(-120) | Mana: 30,270/50,000 ]
• [ Skills: Nanomachine VII… Heavy Revolver IV… Cunnifutuis III… English III… Gunkata III… Cunnilingus II… ]
• [ Spells: Identify I… ]

The table is similar to steam planet's. But the stats are fucking crazy. Louis’s memories tell me the "human" average is also around ten in this system. But they climb much faster here. Even getting points you can add to any stat. It's completely insane.

You really can become superman. 

The buffs and debuffs are due to my cybernetics. I think they look cool but the system considers them too off-putting and subtracts ten points for each. Shit, used half my marks to make up for it in charisma.

They take a big chunk of my "health" away too. Which I also don't understand.

Oh, and my mana is still weird. Stats have some complex interactions and formulas behind them. But just like in steam land mana seems capped at fifty thousand. So even though my int and wis are high? And the math says they should be adding to my mana pool? They don't.

Well, can't be too upset. Louis remembers even mage classes only start with mana in the hundreds.

Classes use an H to SSS scale. While skills still use roman numerals. Some of my classes show up but others don't. Both Merchant and Machinist are gone. But Necromancer, Swordmage and Golemancer, which I was awarded after adapting their techniques to the "world engine," are listed.

This system seems a lot freer in unlocking classes. Since I've gained Bard. Though it only displays your highest ranked one. No secondary, tertiary, etc… And it lets you upgrade your class. Which steam world's did not. 

Electrineer, Louis’s highest class, was inherited but all of its skill levels weren't. So will have to relearn them. If I choose to. And there's a new one none of us recall.

"Carnalist."

Yeah, it's a sex class. But different from Prostitute, Courtesan, etc… Reads like this system's version of a dual-cultivator, sexmancer, etc…

Skills didn't all carry over either. Now I know what you're gonna say. Only II for Cunnilingus? But I can explain. Remember, pretty much had to start over when I landed on steam planet. So while I'm a master rated muff diver. Didn't have long to build up my score.

Same with Cunnifutuis and, ahem, others that I will not say in case kids are listening. Don't want a repeat of the Sunday School incident. Hey, it's school and the kid was worried about his friend. He just wanted to help her praise god.

Though drawing the step by step diagram on the chalkboard may have been going too far. And asking the pastor's wife to be a visual aid apparently "crossed the line" too.

Go figure.

You know, considering birdbrain's reveal about "agents," I wonder. Was Gary Gygax a system agent? Or influenced by one? It could explain some things. Is Earth destined to become like Toril? Or maybe Pathfinder's Golarion?

Gotta admit, don't care a whole lot. Build the airship and hunt down my family. Find out what happened. Then check up on my isekaied wive's relatives. And finally get the fuck out of dodge. Got a purge calling my name on Ipra.

Been studying these portal dungeons a lot. Might be able to connect medieval world, cyber land and steam planet. Was going to summoning ritual my pussy to me. But won't have to worry about that if I can make a portal.

Hmm…

*knock* *knock*

*creak*

"You're majesty-eek! Don't shoot!"

***chak***

The poor ex-slave girl hesitantly creeps in and panics seeing nine magearms pointed her way. A mix of revolvers, pistols and submachine guns. Immediately squeaks and raises her hands like it's a stickup.

Recognize her from the survivors yesterday. Only fifty of them stayed, including catwoman. So I told the not-elf to hire them as staff for my new house. Instantly getting maids, cooks, janitors, gardeners, butlers, guards, etc, etc…

Gladly paid to convert some parts of my shag pad already. Like changing the sex dungeon into more modern looking servant quarters. With rec rooms and wash facilities. Was even able to add a little gym, armory and shooting range.

This is a Town Hall III after all and spatial magic can be used after the first level. So my mini-palace can be bigger on the inside. A feature the deceased mayor chose not to take advantage of but I certainly will.

Elf bitch even gave them cute royal servant style uniforms.

I stretch and smile at the girl. "Yes, Charlotte?"

"Uh… um…" Whose face goes full tomato. "Mistress Thekian sent me to wake you. Th-the formal lunch will b-be served in a-an hour, your ma-majesty."

The overwhelmed girl isn't looking at my face. She's staring at my cock. Hard. Which keeps disappearing into Chen's mouth. Yep, the oriental monk is still sucking. While also pointing a 20 cal SMG at the entranced footwoman.

Multitasking at its finest.

"Thaaank" *splurt* "you…" Look into the monk's sparkling eyes. "It's good to be the king." I squeeze Cecilia's ass while Alessandra eagerly helps Cheng with cleanup. "We'll be there."

The blushing Charlotte retreats while rubbing her thighs together. Bet I know who will be touching themselves tonight.

Crap, forgot I told not-elf to send an open invite out. Stating that anyone who considered themselves a leader was invited to lunch with me at town hall. Where we would reform the government.

Reluctantly I climb out of bed as my lovers pout and whine.

*kang* *thunk* *chak*

Which turns into gasps as I unload what the nanos have been working on since last night. Well, more just customizing since I already had examples made for possible demos.

Body Armor, melee weapons, magearms, etc… If they want to be my royal guard then they should be dressed like it. Use a gold, white and blue scheme for colors. Unit patch is a white dragon skull in a black heart on a blue field.

Of course this is the dress uniform version. Will use regular camo for the field.

Wasn't sure if Ce, Lez and Carly would be okay with that but they happily oohed and aahed over theirs like everyone else.

*clap*

"Listen up. I've got a meeting in an hour and I want all my sexy ladies there with me. So let's get washed up quick, okay?" Nods and smiles. "Okay."

…

*tach* *clak* *tach* *clak* *tach*

“Coming through!”

Yes, I'm running. Yes, I'm late. Yes, I know taking a bath with nine hotties was stupid. My only regret? That I had but one spooge to lose for my ladies. Just wasn’t time for any more. Besides, we’re only thirty minutes late. If they left? Then I guess they didn’t want a job that badly anyway.

I will not apologize.²https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjILi6KaVuY

“Make a hole!”

Staff scramble out of the way as me and my heavily armed and armored escort charge into town hall and hang a right towards the reception room. Going the right direction thanks to several employees helpfully pointing.

“Thank you!”

Tokyo Drift around a corner. Almost bowl over a frowning seven foot tall not-elf. Give Sassy the bird, to remind her that she’s a bitch, and…

*crash*

“Sorry! Sorry.” Wait, didn’t I just say I wouldn’t apologize? “Would have been here earlier, but I was fucking.”

The room turns to face me. Naturally perfectly understanding my totally reasonable excuse for being tardy.

“Others. Ate. You. Sit.” Ah. The one eyed and one handed catwoman points at a seat she's standing behind. The not human and not system slave really shouldn’t be on this planet yet. But she is. Probably need to figure that out. She’s dressed like a butler. A butler with a sword, pistol and shotgun.

For those really aggressive stains.

I've decided that "Cono Als Mai" is just permanently grumpy. At everything and everyone. For existing. This is very different from "Shelara Aelua Syllar Thekian's" permanent disappointment. Over the universe. Creating not elves.

They both need a good fucking but catwoman probably has fangs in her snatch and I bet not-elf is physically incapable of orgasming. 

The white wood paneled chamber has four long tables forming a square that’s open on each corner. Can see from the plates that three tables are finishing up their lunch. While the fourth table only has one empty chair. Mine. Well that’s not going to do.

“Hey, get some chairs and plates for my women too. The only thing they’ve had to eat today is me.” The furry alien rolls her eye but signals to a servant who goes and gets plates and more chairs.

A snooty voice pipes up. "Is this going to take long?"

Look up to see a very well dressed middle aged guy I don't recognize. He's at the left table with several other suit types. Let's see… nine, eleven and eight. Twenty eight people are here.

I do recognize a couple deputies, couple militia, couple priests, couple shop owners, not system slaves of course, couple bureaucrats, couple adventurers and a few pillars of the refugees. Doctors, teachers, and such. Several hold up phones. Recording everything.

Then the few that might as well be carrying a "1%" sign. Including one Snooty McSnootyface.

"So you're the sacrificial lamb, huh?"

"Excuse me?"

"The one I kill for pissing me off." A bowl of chicken noodle soup is placed in front of me. "Yummy. You know, so your fellow conspirators know where the land mines are."

Snooty is confused. "I… Wha?"

Pick up the spoon with my right hand while my left draws the 40 cal revolver and point it his way.

"Newsflash. You already stepped on one."

McSnooty goes pale and starts sweating, a lot. Until a hand rests on his, calming him down. The woman next to him whispers something too low for me to hear and he nods a little. Then stares down at the table and stays that way.

Interesting…

• [ Daniele la Croix | Female Adult | 36 Mesmerist | Bronze… ]

"You don't need to shoot him." What a sweet voice. What a reasonable request. But-

<BledWhiteHeart: John! She's using a class skill on you!>

Hi cutie. Was hoping you would come back.

<BledWhiteHeart: Really? I… I missed you too.>

Are you blushing?

<BledWhiteHeart: No! Why would I be blushing?! Urgh. Stop teasing me…>

Okay, I'm sorry. Yeah I noticed the jedi mind trick. But thank you for the warning. I'm glad I can count on you.

<BledWhiteHeart: …>

"So I should shoot you instead?"

Daniele does a double take. "Quelle?"

"Well you're trying to hypnotize me. And while hypnosis isn't nearly as strong as many believe. It can still influence decisions." Turn the gun a little more so it's aimed at her and cock the hammer back. "How bout we give your skull a third eye. See how well you mess with people's heads then."

Finally the oldest of the "club" speaks. A gray haired dude but still looks very fit.

"Me disculpo for their behavior. Please do not kill either of them. Miss la Croix was only trying to save su amigo."

Dude screams dignified. Remember the guy from the Dos Equis commercials? Guy could be his twin. Even sounds like him. The most interesting man in the world.

"Okay, but you gotta say the line."

• [ Antonio Estan de la Romano | Male Adult | 32 Maverick | Bronze… ]

Another Bronze? The condos have some firepower.

"...I do not understand."

"Come on… say it."

He stares at me for a while, then sighs. "Stay thirsty my friends."

"We're good." Uncock the hammer and lay the Steelwolf on the table. "Hey, Mentok's red headed stepchild." Well she does have red hair. "Your skills leave traces just like spells do. And if I find your fingerprints on any brains I don't want them to be on? Bang, third eye."

Slurp more delicious soup and notice the girls have yummy looking steak now. Turn to see catwoman is still behind me.

"Uh… where’s my steak?"

One slit eye squints at me. "You late. Only soup."

?

Look right and left. "But they were late too."

"You make late. Not fault. Get meat."

…

Raise a finger.

*evil eye*

Put it back down.

Yeah, let's not argue with the angry cat lady. Would not be a good idea to pick a fight with soup nazi's sister. I'll just sneak something later.

*evil eye*

Or not…

"Ahem, alrighty then, Defense Department, who wants it?"

*crickets*

"What?" One of the elders asks.

"I said, Defense Department, who wants it?"

One of the militiamen hesitantly raises his hand. "Um… me? Your majesty?"

"Good! The new Fort Matthew Defense Department is yours now. Speak to the barracks' system manager to begin hiring and training the Fort Matthew Army. We'll start the Fort Matthew Navy later."

Maneuver through the town menus, create the department, assign offices in town hall and finally budget.

"Congratulations, commander, speak to the elf to find your office and start hiring staff."

Everyone is looking at each other. Stunned. Am I really just letting them call dibs?

"Alright alright alright. Police Department, who wants it?" Several hands shoot up this time.

This should be taken care of quickly. Don't know why people say governing is hard.

And then I'll find more food.