James
Harris, wasn't that about the time you met up with Jace? Start telling your side of things.
Harris
Of course, anything for mo...oooost precious allies!
I think he meant to say mon—
Harris
SO! Yeah, it was probably around when that witch obliterated those ashies because what drew me to those two was I was some rancid stink that suddenly spread throughout the wastelands of Auburn. Now that I've been thoroughly educated on the two telltale signs of dark and holy magic, I'd assume that the smell was probably caused by whatever the *heck* that witch did to the ashies.
Following the smell, I discovered a trace of mana lingering in the air. Following the trace of mana, I discovered some *jester* flailing in the air as some purple person with a tasteless, pointy, black hat on her head was dragging him through the sky. He was shouting some *thing* about a disgrace to his honor and a grudge he'd repay no matter the cost, but I really didn't give a *darn* about what he was *complaining* about.
(Written)
I've had to censor a lot of this because James said that a few kids have access to the general archives... buuuut I still don't get how James thinks that a couple curse words are somehow worse than intense violence and descriptive gore. Meh, not my problem if some random kids get traumatized.
Note to readers: "ashies" is slang for ash-eater worms frequently used by hunters and adventurers who hunt the worms for the precious stones lodged in their shells.
Note to self: Make a version with the marked words uncensored for the restricted archives.
Harris
I was gonna leave without doing anything...
...but, well, let's just say I had a change of heart.
(Written)
He definitely saw either the dead worms or whatever Jace and Twilight were using to haul their loot and luggage.
Harris
I approached the pair as they were landing and introduced myself as a local, offering to be their guide. The ghost in the cloak pretty much said that there was no need for a guide and walked away, but he eventually relented and listened to all I had to say after purple whispered something to him.
(Written)
He does know their names... right? I mean, it hasn't even been five minutes since their names were last used during this meeting...
...wait, didn't he literally spend days with no one other than Twilight and Jace?
Harris
Basically, I offered my knowledge as a resident of Auburn, my expansive network of connections, and my strength as a hunter, adventurer, and businessman for free!
James
What Jace wrote about you doesn't seem to match up with what you're saying...
Harris
Stop spouting lies and let me continue speaking.
Alex
Why do you not want us to read through what Jace has to say about his first encounter with you? Surely the great Harris Avari does not fear a couple journal pages, right?
Harris
FINE. Go ahead. Read the *unintelligent* *irritating* journal, it's not like I have anything to worry about anyways.
Jace
Today I met someone who is probably either an infamous swindler or a heinous criminal.
Harris
Oh, that SCRAWNY SON OF A *female dog*, I'LL—
Alex
Tace!
Harris
... ... ...
Alex
Please continue reading before Harris realizes that he can neither hear nor be heard.
Jace
I was being dragged around in the air by Twilight for waking her up, but she eventually let me down after I managed to convey that it was the worms who woke her. Just as I was set on the ground, I saw some bald bozo in a red flannel and green shorts dashing in my direction and decided that it would probably be best to avoid him.
However, after Harris said that he knew where to find another purple person, Twilight grabbed my arm and stood still, letting Harris catch up to us. Once he caught up, Twilight dropped her arms to her sides then thrust her arms up violently into the air. With this motion, two pillars of that creepy black sludge rose from the ground. Following the movement of her arms, the sludge wrapped around the body of Harris.
Twilight: "Where?"
Harris: "Hi, my name is Harris, and it is my pleasure to meet with you to discuss a proposition-"
Twilight: "ANSWER THE QUESTION."
Harris: "I feel like you're being very aggressive right now, and I really don't appreciate that. If we could all just calm down and have a civilized discussion, I'm sure we could reach some sort of agreement."
Jace: "I believe my companion is trying to say that you are in no position to be making demands, and that failing to answer her questions will result in an unfortunate outcome for all involved—your death."
Harris: "But—"
Twilight: "Five."
Harris: "I was just gonna—"
Twilight: "Four."
Harris: "Would you please just listen for a second?"
Twilight: "Three."
Harris: "You let me speak for longer that time, so you must be considering—"
Twilight: "Two."
Jace: "One."
Harris: "WAIT WAIT WAIT I GET IT I'LL TALK I'LL TALK JUST PUT THE DAGGER DOWN YOU CRAZY *individual born out of wedlock*!"
