Jace

Harris: "I'll tell you anything you want to know if—"

Twilight: "You don't get any ifs, ands, or buts."

Harris: "Loo...sen..."

Twilight: "Right, I can't kill you until I hear what you know about people who have purple hair and eyes like me."

Harris: "Does that mean you're gonna kill me after you hear what you want to know?"

Twilight: "Maybe, maybe not. It all depends on what you have to say."

Harris: "You *loving* sick *wonderful individual*..."

Jace: "Well, since he hates how he's being treated soooOOOooo much, may I kill him now?"

Twilight: "I guess, since he clearly isn't planning on giving up any—"

Harris: "WAIT, DON'T KILL ME! I know the stuff you wanna know, but I need some sort of guarantee that you won't kill me after I tell you the information. Since you're both *distasteful* sorcerers, why don't you sign a contract with me?"

Jace: "Oooooh, so you're claiming to be a somatic?"

Harris: "Yes, so if you'd just free my arms—"

Jace: "Don't try to fool me."

Harris: "..."

Jace: "..."

Twilight: "Five."

Harris: "ONE hand... just release one of my hands from this *funny* *excrement* and I'll be able to summon the contract."

Jace: "Ehhhh, that's not really enough though..."

Harris: "How the *TARNATION* do you expect me to hurt you two with one *flipping* HAND?!"

Jace: "You could cast Earthbound or Swap with one hand, and you really only need your pinky and ring finger to cast Unbreakable Agreement, right?"

Twilight: "Ring finger and pinky on which hand?"

Jace: "It doesn't really matter."

Harris: "I didn't agree to t—"

Jace: "Shhhh, just let it happen. Now that you have enough free limbs to cast Unbreakable Agreement, it should be easy to make a deal for your safety in exchange for everything you know."

Harris: "I'm not a *gullible individual*. If I agree to tell you everything I know, you'll walk away after hearing what you want to hear and claim that I knew things I didn't tell you that you weren't interested in, declaring that I'd broken the deal. The creator of Unbreakable Agreement would probably side with you based on his personality."

Twilight: "You're telling me that geezer Bis Peb is still alive? The *word of emphasis*?"

Harris: "You mean Bon Par? The prodigy born only seventeen years ago?"

Twilight: "Ahhhh, I see how it is."

Jace: "I don't."

Twilight: "That sounds like a you problem."

Jace: "..."

Harris: "Can we please just make the deal now? How about this, I'll truthfully answer five questions of your choice under the condition of receiving your guarantee that I will not be harmed after doing so."

Twilight: "Yeah yeah, just do the magic already."

Jace: "Hehe *idiot*!"

Twilight: "Could you not talk to yourself? You're creeping me out."

Jace: "Hmm? Oh, sorry, I was gagging on the air."

Harris: "I JUST SHOWERED LAST WEEK, SO THAT BETTER NOT BE ABOUT HOW I SMELL!"

Jace: "..."

Twilight: "..."

Harris: "... ... ... Ahahah, of course that was not it; please do continue..."

Twilight: "So if I remember correctly, the one proposing the deal makes a "P" shape with their pinky and ring finger and writes the terms of the agreement with raw magic power. Then, to accept, I just have to make the "P" a "B" with my pinky finger, right?"

Harris: "I'm surprised that a hag like you would know about the latest somatic casting methods."

Twilight: "This is the first I've heard of a somatic casting method over a century old being referred to as 'the latest casting method', but to each his own I suppose..."

Jace: "Just get the information about the thing that caught your attention so we can continue towards our destination."

Harris: "You wanted to know about people who look like you, right? I've met someone with the same hair and eyes, but you won't be able to meet her unless you go to the Auburn Outpost for the Adventurer's Guild."

Jace: "Why would there be—"

Harris: "I thought that was why you killed the worm?"

Jace: "There's an entire guild branch dedicated purely to hunting ash-eaters?"

Twilight: "Well, it does make sense if you think about it. There are a lot of people who would jump at the chance to get rich quick by getting lucky and killing an ash-eater with priceless precious metals and or gemstones comprising its shell. ...Let me guess, you're gonna say that we should let you lead us back to the 'Auburn Outpost' and you'll let us met the person with purple eyes and hair when we get there?"

Harris: "Exactly! Now, if you'd just release me, I can—"

Twilight: You haven't even answered one of my five questions yet, Harris, so I don't have to let you live just yet..."

Harris: "Alright, ask away then."

Twilight: "Where does allegiance lie?"

Harris: "Monetary gain and material wealth."

Jace: "Wait, did the spell malfunction? He sould've been zapped for lying."

Harris: "I don't have to answer your questions because I only agreed to answer five of purple's questions."

Jace: "So the spell is working properly and you're just an *animal known as a donkey*. Got it."

Twilight: "Why did you approach us?"

Harris: "Monetary gain and material wealth."

Twilight: "...Okaayyyy... uhh... who is your employer?"

Harris: "Monetary Gain and Material Wealth."

Twilight: "Jace, people can't be employed by money, so why was his answer verified by the spell?"

Jace: "I'll consider possible explanations. You may keep asking him questions in the meantime."

Twilight: "What spells are you proficient in casting?"

Harris: "Unbreakable agreement, Swap, Earthbound, Mark, Seek, Bind, Burn, and most forms of permanent and temporary enchantment magic."

Jace: "Twilight, look, there's a 'Harris' in the Monetary Gain and Material Wealth Company's (MGMW Co.'s) list of staff."

Harris: "Why does someone I've never met before possess a copy of MGMW Co.'s directory?"

Jace: "Wow, you really are an idiot. This is just a regular notebook, and I pulled the whole thing about a list of staff out of my *brain*."

Harris: "YOU *irritating individual*, I'M GONNA *obliterate your rear* FOR MAKING A FOOL OUTTA ME!"

Jace: "Twilight, have you come up with your final question yet?"

Twilight: "No, I'm still trying to figure out what question would have the highest payoff..."

Harris: "ARE YOU IGNORING ME?! HEY! I SAID I'M GONNA—"

I took a single electrum flam out of my pocket and flicked it towards Harris's mouth.

...He instantly stopped complaining and caught the coin between his teeth.

Twilight: "I met you in Tyerinie, so why you have Auburnian currency?"

Jace: "I make sure to keep a small sum of most foreign currencies in my wallet just in case I need them. Also, why did you refer to the Kingdom of Amity as Tyreinie?"

Twilight: "I suppose the name changed some time after I turned liquid. Harris, I've got my final question: Why shouldn't I have Jace kill you after you answer this final question?"

Harris dropped the coin caught between his teeth into his shirt before he began speaking.

Harris: "Jace can't harm me according to the deal."

Twilight: "Why not? I'm the one who agreed to not harm you."

Harris: "The deal wasn't that you wouldn't harm me; the deal was that I wouldn't be harmed after agreeing to the deal."

Jace: "PFFFT, YOU REALLY DIDN'T NOTICE?!"

Twilight: "..."

Jace: "FROM NOW ON, IF HE'S EVER HURT BY ANYONE OR ANYTHING YOU'LL GET ELECTROCUTED BY THE SPELL!"

Twilight: "...Not if I kill the man who moderates the spell's terms and repercussions."

Harris: "Lady, I don't know who you are or how you're using dark magic, but you really shouldn't try that."

Twilight: "I will do whatever I want to do and there's nothing you can do to stop me. Although I don't want to face the penalties of the spell, I should be able to survive breaking the deal. Keep that in mind whenever you think of getting in my way."

Harris: "Oh, reeeeeally? Sure sure, whatever you say."

Twilight: "You son of a—"

Jace: "SO! Twilight, are we going to the Auburnian Outpost of the Adventurer's Guild or are we continuing towards the coast of Auburn?"

Harris: "I believe that the best opt—"

Twilight: "Let's go to the coast first."

Harris: "Actually, I was—"

Twilight: "THE. COAST."

Harris: "Alright *bucko", I sure do hope you don't regret that decision later."