After spending a few days in bed, I was finally thinking more clearly. My injury wasn't close to being healed but I was released from the hospital anyway. I had to wear a splint to keep my shoulder in place and not move much. Which means spending most of the time at home. 

Sounds delightful.

Mr. Johnson decided to extend my leave by two months because he deemed that i needed badly. I couldn't disagree with him on that point.

But he's retiring this week, right ? So who's going to take over the job while I'm gone? 

I talked to him on the phone about it, he just told me to stop thinking about work all the time and focus on getting better. But I hate having to do nothing, it stresses me out... Kate comes to see me often to help me and spend as much time with me as possible because she is going to be transferred to Vegas soon. 

"You're still not going to tell me who took my place, are you ?" I ask her once again as we ate dinner together.

"You know Mr. Johnson asked me to keep it quiet. Why are you being so stubborn ?"

Oh, yes, Mr. Johnson has ordered everyone not to tell me who's in charge while I'm gone. I have no idea why, but I really feel betrayed. 

What was the point of having friends of they keep things away from you, i glared especially at Kate for this.

I gave this guy 5 years of my life and this is how I get thanked ?

"Can you at least tell me what he looks like ?"

"No, I can't."

"So your job is more important than our friendship, is it ?"

Kate burst out laughing before replying :

"Wait, Judy, you're saying that, out of all people ? You're the one who canceled several of our days out because you were busy ?"

I pouted and said :

"How many times do I have to tell you I was sorry..."

"I know you are." She cooed at me. "Anyway, you'll find out sooner or later, won't you? So keep your patience and enjoy your time off."

"Enjoy my time off... That's what everyone is telling me these days..."

"So do it Judy, why are you so stressed out ?"

"You know why i can't relax, it's been radio silence since that day, do the guy who is sitting in his office right now is taking the place or is it just temporary ? I don't know and it's making me anxious. Did i work my ass off all that time for nothing ?" 

What will happen when I go back ?

"Oh Judy, I'm sure everything's going to be alright." She engulfs me in a hug.

I decide to take Kate's advice and try stop thinking about it. 

Keyword : try.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

The two months that followed seemed like an eternity, but my wound was finally healed and I could go back to work. 

I winced abit at my excitement at returning to work. I felt like that one kid who enjoyed maths and always reminded the professor about tests. 

After getting dressed, I grab my keys and head out of the house. I get in the car and drive for the station. My first instinct is to run for the elevators but I am interrupted by Cassy.

"Judy, it's been a while !" She beams at me. 

"Cassy ! Yes, it has. Hm, I'm in a bit of a hurry here-"

She chuckled before saying :

"If it's the Chief you want to see, Mr.Johnson asked me to tell you to come and meet him in the meeting room on the second floor."

Oh ? That's a pleasant surprise. I was planning on meeting the new guy right away.

"Is he- is he here ?"

"Yeah, he's been coming by at least three times a week since he retired. Something about still having some important things to take care of before the end."

So he's finally going to explain to me... I take the elevator to the 2nd floor and head to the meeting room at the end of the hallway. I knock on the door and enter when I get permission. It's a habit when it comes to Mr. Johnson.

There he was, sitting in one of the chairs around the meeting table, writing on some files. There was no one else in the room. Mr. Johnson smiled when he saw me. 

"Harper, how nice to see you again."

"You too, Mr. Johnson, why did you want to see me ?"

"Well can't I want to meet my favorite student one last time ?" He says dramatically like we were never going to meet again.

Seeing my unimpressed reaction, he quickly added :

" And to apologize."

"Apologize ? What did you- ?"

"Please let me finish." He said to me curtly.

I just nodded my head despite my surprise and sat across him. He resumed by looking straight into my eyes :

"I don't know if you will forgive me but I want to do it anyway... I'll get right to the point, you won't be replacing me."

"What- ?"

"I gave it to someone else... Partly because you're not ready for it yet. You were too reckless two months ago, going after a serial killer without backup-"

"I had one- !" i interrupted defensively.

"Look like it was just for the show because you didn't call when you needed it. You didn't even report to me, Harper. Imagine, my surprise when I learned that my own subordinate acted recklessly and met a dangerous criminal in the forest without telling me ?" I could only listen as he lectured me, every single like stabs even though I knew he was right. " Do you really think that's what a leader worth his salt would do ? Don't forget, becoming a police chief is about being a role model for others. If it wasn't for Nick-"

"Wait, what are you ? You and Nick ?"

He took a deep breath like he was expecting this question before answering :

"He is... my grandson..."

"Oh... I didn't know that."

"He wanted me to keep it a secret, the kid was always stubborn..."

Everything started making sense and i felt like i was finally understanding a joke i was on the receiving end. The way he always avoided my questions, that discussion i caught once in Mr. Johnson, his often presence at the station, his familiarity with all the police stuff...

( "I can't do this to her !" )

"I guess he's the one who took the place ?"

I ask him with a empty smile. Mr. Johnson nodded and I slowly sat back down on the table.

I got screwed by that bastard.

"And why did you choose him ? Was it some kind of special treatment or did he ask you ?"

"He didn't ask me, I did. He was really against it but the day you arrested McAlister, he came to my office to tell me that he accepted."

"Why ?"

"This is not my place to tell you that."

"Okay, you're taking away the thing I've always wanted and I can't even know why."

"Ask him directly if you want to know." He said apologetically. 

I sigh heavily and get up to pace around the room.

"What about you ? What are your reasons ?"

"I want to protect him from something..."

"From what ? What does it have to do with all this, i don't get it."

"Once again it's better if he tells you about it." When I looked annoyed at his enigmatic answer again he added. "Look Judy, you must have noticed, he has a particular gift for solving riddles, don't you think it would be a waste not to enlist him in the police force ?"

There was so many grades in the police forces but he had to give him his. How did he even get to do that, Nick isn't even registered as far as i know.

"Of course but Police chief ? He could have been anything else, if that's his talent that you want." I say, remembering how he helped me. "You taught him how to shoot ?"

"Yeah. He was ahead of me before I even knew it."

"I get the impression that you raised him alone, right ?"

"Um- I think you want to talk to him don't you ? So you know where to find him."

He got up from his chair and was about to leave but I said :

"I can't say I'm not angry with you but you have your reasons and I understand, but I certainly won't forgive Nick that easily."

Mr. Johnson just smiled.

"I know I'm being really selfish, Judy. But I had to do it. You can be as mad as you want, you have the right to."

He left the room after that. I still didn't know what to think. He was right, I was reckless to leave without telling anyone. If it hadn't been for Nick, I don't think I'd be here right now... For that reason alone, I agree to give up my place to him but that doesn't mean I forgive him. I leave the room in turn to take the elevator to the 4th floor. I stop in front of the office next to mine, I'm sure he's there. 

I take a deep breath before opening the door. I don't understand why I'm so nervous. 

I go inside and close the door. Obviously, he didn't notice me yet because he was focused on his computer. His red hair was in a mess as usual and a few strands were falling on his forehead.

I wonder who he got them from.

He was wearing the police chief's uniform. 

Except that it looked really neglected... I just wanted to get close to him to fix it. The jacket was hanging on the coat rack and he had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to the elbows. It's weird to see him again after 2 months even though he hasn't really changed. The police uniform gives him a certain charm... I don't really know how long I stood there watching him.

"Judy ?"

I came to my senses when I realized that he had finally noticed my presence. 

"So you're a police chief now... You could have told me."

He stood up and came to stand in front of me. He put his hands in his pockets and said :

"I wanted to do it but-"

"But what ? You helped me on that case, knowing that at the end, we would end up here. You knew how important this post was to me and yet you didn't hesitate to take it. So I hope you have good reason !"

Without me realizing it, my tears started to fall on their own. I thought I could handle it, but it's just too hard. I worked hard to get to this point. 

All this just so that it ends up being taken away from me by the first newcomer.

Nick took me gently in his arms before saying:

"Frank must have told you, I didn't want to do it at first-"

"But you did it. What made you change your mind, huh ?"

I tried to get away from him but he didn't bulge an inch as I pushed my hands on his chest. 

"Listen to me first." He said at another fruitless attempt. "When Ted MacAlister shot you, I was really angry, so angry that I couldn't stop myself from shooting him. So I figured the only way I could protect you and prevent this kind of thing from happening again was to accept his proposal."

"Protect me? Why so you even care ? We barely know each other."

"I don't really know how to explain... Give me some time."

"Give you time ? What's with you and your granddad not being able to answer one single question I'm asking ?" I push him away from me successfully this time. "You're a piece of shit and I'm tired of this."

"Judy- !"

"Don't follow me !"

I separated from him and left the room. I wasn't expecting Nick to listen to me but I reached the end of the hallway with no obstructions. My frustration, anger and sadness still hadn't subsided as I wiped my angry tears in the elevator. I also left the station, unable to stay there another minute. 

It's better if I'd take the day off today and calm down. My first instinct is to head for nearest bar, an habit I tried so hard to put an end to. 

The place is not very busy since it's in the middle of the day. I swiftly notice that I'm the only female here, but no one seems to be paying attention to me as i sit down in front of the bartender.

I order my first of many drinks and receive it fast enough with a thanks. 

If there was something i knew to do the best, it was drowning my feelings.

NICK'S POV :

I couldn't focus. 

The words started to get blurry on my screen so i looked away as i rubbed my tired eyes. 

Not that i underestimated the workload of this post, i wouldn't have guessed it would cost me my sleep.

I wasn't stranger to insomnia, it already happened weeks of not touching my bed but passing out in the middle of the day on the nearest surface.

So i wasn't someone who slept a lot to begin with anyway, but it was a long time since i felt this tired and i wish I didn't have to go back to it. 

I did something selfish so I had to deal with the consequences. 

It's been 2 hours since Judy stormed out of the room. I assume she just went home, i would have asked to check on her but I know she doesn't want to talk to me at all right now, or ever. It's up to her.

I prepare myself to go back to the e-mail I was typing when my phone started vibrating loudly against the wood of the desk. 

My eyebrows jump up in surprise when I realize the caller is Judy. 

I push the device against my ear.

"Nick." She says with a serious tone.

"Judy ? Where did-"

"Did you- did you know how much of a asshole you are ?" Her words were slurred and tiny hiccups cut her off.

"Are you drunk ?"

"No ? Maybe ? I don't know, i don't care."

"Where are you ?"

"Not your business." She sing-songs, i could here faint music in the background.

I sighed. 

"Then why did you call me ?"

I was replied by silence, then she muttered something i couldn't pick any words from.

"Talk louder, Judy." I coaxed her. 

"Imissyou." She blurted out but i understood this time.

Oh. She must really drunk then.

"Did you ?" I can't help but ask.

"Yeah... It's been months but now we had to meet like this it's- you didn't even call once."

"Sorry, i figured you needed time after what happened, and i felt bad about talking to you while... Well..."

"Your apology is not accepted."

"Fair enough. How about you tell me where you are, since you miss me i could join you there ?"

"Have a drink with me ?"

"Yeah, let's do that." I lied. 

Judy told me at what bar she was and i jumped out of my seat to exit the office. 

A bar in the middle of the day, is she out of her mind ?

I winced at the thought because I knew everything was my fault anyway.

After alerting my absence, i head out of the station. 

A twinge of panic raise in my stomach when I get there and notice the male-dominated environment and i don't need to even look for Judy. 

Because she was standing on a table, a small bottle of half empty beer close to her lips as she delivered a slurred rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody. 

The other costumers were looking at her with amusement, some of them even clapping at particular notes she tried her best to hit. 

She was barefoot, her shoes haphazardly tossed on the floor and her cream colored shirt had the first few buttons open. 

She stopped singing when she spotted me. 

"Nick ! You came !" She smiled happily, something i have not seen often on her face, always reserved to show her emotions infront of me. 

"Yes, come down."

"What ? Noooo, you come here and sing with me." 

"Judy."

"You said you were joining me on the phone." She stomped her foot on the hardwood, like a petulant child. 

"Please be a darling and let's go home."

"You're a liar. What tells me you're even gonna bring me home at this point ? You could be lying again and kidnap me !"

"You're being ridiculous !"

The silence in the room made me realize that we were making as much of a scene than Judy's earlier performance.

I was too tired for this shit. 

I neared the table and grabbed her hand to pull her towards me. She yelped at the motion but i held her to keep her from falling. I put her arm around my neck and rested mine across her hip to keep her steady against me. She didn't fight me like i was expecting. 

It made things easier for me so i decided to question it later. I picked up her belongings and apologized for the commotion before getting out of the dim bar.

My car was waiting at the entrance so i unlocked it and sat Judy on the passager seat before sitting on mine.

The ride was silent since Judy was still sulky. I wasn't exaggerating, she was pouting, arms crossed and back facing me as she refused to grant me the time of her day. 

I park the vehicle infront of her house and she get out as soon as the engine shuts down.

A chuckle leave my lips as i watch her stomp her ways to the door. 

She act exactly like the kid she looks like and it's kinda entertaining to see. 

I follow her inside since she didn't say she didn't want me here. 

"Go wash up and change." I told her when I noticed how lost she looked in her own living room.

She glared at me for the order but went to climb the stairs. I took a water bottle from her fridge for her to drink before following her. I entered her bedroom and placed it on the bedside table. 

I was hearing the water running in the bathroom so she really listened to me. 

I realized later than i should that it's my first time in her house. Her room is a mess, not something i expected from her. There are polaroid pictures attached to string lights hanging on the wall against her bed, I get closer to take a look at them, they are all pictures of friends, a older brunette woman and a blonde boy, who i guess are her mom and brother. 

There is not a single sign of her dad though. The observation makes me dig my nails against the palm of my hand.

I knew that feeling.

"You're in my room." Judy's voice makes me look away.

She pads inside in pyjamas and socks. Her blonde hair is still very damp, some droplets falling on her shoulders. 

"I am. Your hair is wet."

"I know."

"Where is your blow-dryer ?"

"I don't have one, the noise bother me, the warm air too."

"You could at least use a towel." I sighed. "You will catch a cold, you know. Wait for me and drink this." I motion to the water waiting for her before heading to the bathroom to get a towel. 

I come back to her sitting legs crossed on tbe bed, empty bottle still in hand. She seems to have sobered up, but she is still out of it. She watches me climb on tbe bed to sit behind her with heavy eyelids. 

I start ruffling her hair with the white fabric. 

"Why are you doing this ?"

"Doing what ?"

"This."

"What ? taking care of you ?"

She nodded.

"Is it a crime for her boyfriend to pamper her pretty girlfriend ?" I teased.

"I thought this was all over." 

"I never said it would finish at the end of the case Judy. And i would have done it even without this."

"Oh. Right. But that's what I want to know, why ?"

"I like you." 

"You- what ?" She snapped her head so fast i got worried she would pull a muscle for second. 

"We'll talk about it when you are less intoxicated. You look tired, want to rest ?" I, hopefully skillfully, avoid the subject. 

I don't know why i blurted out that so easily. That's not really something i really deny to myself, i know i like her. 

I knew for a long time.

But I don't think that's something Judy wants to deal with right now. 

Luckily for me, her attention span right now is thinner than a thread and she seems very tempted by my offer. A yawn escapes her pink lips.

"Wouldn't mind a nap."

I push myself off the bed as I say.

"I guess i will leave you to that. Sleep well, alright ?"

I was about to leave the room when a hand around my wrist stops me. 

A confused noise leave my lips as i turn around to look at her. 

"Stay. Please." Her eyes were fixated on her pastel pink bedsheets as she refused to cross mine.

Why does she to this to me ? I scream in agony in my head.

My silence must have confused her because she looks up with a troubled expression. 

Not wanting her to think I was reluctant, i smile. 

"Okay, if you want to."

She lets of me and lays down. Her eyes watching me carefully. 

I'm concerned of leaving my work for the entire day but that thought doesn't stand a chance infront of the tentation that is Judy's cozy looking bed. 

Convincing myself that it's worth the extra hours i will spend to compensate, i shed my vest and climb next to her. 

Her eyes grow heavy as she curls up next to me, but not touching, i know she is hesitating. 

I decide to close the distance and curl my arm around her hip to press her against my chest.

A puff of exhale tickle my collarbone. I bury my nose in her hair, it smells like cirtrus scented shampoo.

The peaceful rythm of her breath and the scent lulls me to sleep faster than anything in months. 

JUDY'S POV :

I woke up with a light headache but warmer and cozier than my bed should be. I snuggle closer to whatever my face is pressed against then realize that instead of a pillow, it's- 

A chest ?

I lift my head up just to find myself nose to nose with Nick. I can't hold back the squeak i let out of my mouth as i try to put distance between us. It eventually wake him up with a groan and his arms round tighter around my waist, pressing me closer to him. 

"N- nick ?" I call out to him.

His face end up in my neck as he nuzzles my skin. Suddenly a light bite make me jump. 

"Ah ! You're definitely not sleeping anymore you asshole-" i flails as much as I can, flustered to my core. 

He chuckles and pulls his face away to look at me. 

His refreshed expression makes me pause in my struggle.

"Good nap ?" He asks me. 

"Y- yeah, i guess. What are you doing here ?"

"You asked me to stay." 

"No way i did that."

"Yes you did."

"oh I must have been really drunk then." I laugh awkwardly as I look away.

Nick doesn't seem to share my humor as he stares at me for a moment with an unreadable expression before saying :

"I should go."

He got up from the bed to walk over to his jacket spread out on the back of my dressing table chair. I said without realizing it:

"Wait !"

I didn't know why I was reluctant for him to leave, I was supposed to be mad at him. I was supposed to hate him and not want to talk to him or even see him again.

"I- I remember what happened and it was stupid of me to go to a place like that... Thank you for picking me up." I finally say, my eyes glued to the floor.

I'm not the type to let my emotions guide and now that my mind was clearer I felt like really dumb for doing that.

"Judy." His calm, gentle tone makes me look up.

His eyes were devoid of judgment as he said with a sorry smile.

"You're allowed to be angry and make mistakes, it happens to everyone. And, don't thank me for it, I don't deserve it, it's my fault after all."

I bit my lip. Why does he make it so hard to hate him ?

"I'm going to leave now. Take care of yourself, yeah? See you back at the station."

This time he doesn't let me get a word in before leaving the room. Soon, I hear the front door close and I sigh.

Why did I feel bad, wasn't this what I wanted...?

I decide to push it all to the back of my mind and worry about it later.

Very responsible I know.

I look at the clock, realize that dinner time is soon.

Nick and I really slept a lot huh ?

I decide to go groceries shopping because my cupboards are empty since yesterday.

After changing, I take my keys and get in the car.

The drive to the grocery store is short, soon I park in front of Walmart and go inside the huge store.

Taking a caddy near the cash register I head directly to the food section.

After a long time of putting everything I needed in my cart and enjoying the music that was blaring throughout the store, I suddenly hear a voice :

"Judy ? Judy Harper ?"

I move my gaze away from the various brands of pasta just to rest it on a man who was looking at me with a nervous expression.

He had blue eyes and dark brown hair, he was handsome, the jock kind.

Not as much as Nick,. though, my brain supplies helpfully.

He looked familiar to me, but I had trouble pinpointing where I saw him.

Seeing my confused look, he asks :

"Jake Miller, don't you remember me ?"

Oh.

My ex from high school.

Fuck.

"Oh, Jake ! It's been a long time !" I muster all the enthusiasm that I can fake while answering him.

"Wow, when Jessica told me you lost your memory after your accident I couldn't believe it but it seems true."

I wince in spite of myself, I don't like talking about it and I was satisfied that my memories of high school were the only ones I had lost. So seeing someone from that era is the last thing I needed, especially him.

"You're not in New York anymore, are you? What's up?" I change the subject hoping he takes the bait.

If there's one thing I remember about Jake Miller, it's that he liked to talk about himself. Well that's what Jessica told me.

"Oh yeah, I took over my dad's business in Manhattan. I'm just here for a few months and then I'm going back."

"Good to know. I see you seem to be doing well."

I start shuffling from foot to foot, eager to end the conversation and hopefully not seeing him ever again.

"It's true, and I heard you became a cop. It really surprised me too, I never would have imagined when we were in high school."

It was a dream I had since I was little, we were dating and he didn't know it ? Did i never tell him ?

It was awkward talking to him, I had absolutely nothing to say to him, Jake and what he did to me was completely a thing of the past. The fact that he acted like we parted ways on good terms was disconcerting though. Does he think I completely forgot that too ?

"Really ? I get told that a lot I guess."

"You don't look like a cop at all." He laughs before adding. "No offense."

"I am used to it." I force a smile.

"So, hum, could i get your- ?"

I know he is about to ask me for my number, so my mouth start talking before my brain even registers :

"My boyfriend is waiting for me in the car so i should go, it was nice meeting you Jake !"

I push my heavy cart as fast as I can out of the section. 

It's only when I pull my credit card out of my wallet at the cashier that I realize i didn't take the pasta I was eyeing which I was planning to cook for dinner. I curse under my breath as I lift my bags. 

This day couldn't get worse.