Dimly, you’re aware that someone else just spoke, and not inside the dream you’d been having. Heart in your throat, you scramble backwards as your senses piece together the world around you. Someone is standing nearby, hands out in a calming gesture. They stare at you through thick glasses, greasy hair hanging—

Oh, it’s Umeso.

“Why are you in my room while I’m sleeping!? You almost gave me a heart attack!” you shout, hands still gripping your bedsheet.

“Which one?”

You blink. “...Excuse me?”

“Which heart?”

“I have more than— Okay, no, I’m not getting distracted by weird alien biology. Answer my question!”

Squeezing her books harder, Umeso shifts her weight back and forth. “I wanted to apologize, so I found your room. But you were asleep, so I was going to leave, but then you made a sound, so I said your name to see if you were awake.”

“Thanks for the play-by-play,” you say, letting go of the sheet and shifting into a more comfortable position. “Alright, so, you’re here to apologize? On behalf of Ruem, or…?”

“No, she will need to make her own apology.” She takes a deep breath, still shifting from side to side. “I wish to apologize for my accusatory manner and for not cutting Ruem off before she could say what she said.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “Oh! Well, I don’t blame you for that second thing, you couldn’t have known. For the other…” You play up the pause, pouting your lip and putting your hand to your chin as though in thought. Watching Umeso squirm is… kind of fun. She seemed rather emotionless before, so it’s a fun change of pace for her to be so clearly worried now. When you notice that she’s starting to chew on her bottom lip, your sympathy overwhelms your impish desires, and you rush to reassure her. “It’s okay! Don’t even worry about it, you’re forgiven.”

Her entire body relaxes, to the point that you worry she might drop her tomes. They slide a little in her arms, but ultimately prove to be incapable of escape.

 “Wonderful,” Umeso says with the ghost of a smile. “I would also like to make it clear that I do not agree with Ruem’s words. Instead of ‘getting your rocks off—’” You cringe at hearing the phrase again. “—I would assume it has been terrible for you, trapped in a body that does not align with your gender.”

That would make sense, wouldn’t it? You’d been a boy all your previous life, you’d been used to what being a boy feels like, so shouldn’t you be crawling in Ruem’s skin now? But mulling your feelings over just leads to confusion. You’ve certainly had a rough time since waking up in this body, but most of that you can easily attribute to other people and to an unfamiliar environment. The body itself is… well it isn’t so bad, really. Like you’d noted earlier, at least it’s cute, so you have something pleasant to look at when facing a mirror. It just feels like creating a girl character in a videogame, really. As you’d heard other guys say before, might as well look at a cute butt while running around killing your enemies, right?

“I mean… it hasn’t been that bad.”

Umeso’s eyes widen behind her glasses. “Really?”

You shrug. “The body? Yeah, it’s been fine. It’s the people, mostly, like Radestro and Ruem.”

“Interesting,” Umeso mutters, leaning toward you and staring as though you’re a science experiment.

Backing away from her, you say,, “So… was that all you wanted, then?”

Umeso pulls back and shakes her head. “No. May I sit?” You nod, and she plops down on the other end of your bed. “As I said, Ruem needs to make her own apology.”

Crap, has she been listening in this whole time? You wish Umeso had warned you. The thought of talking to that viscous little ball again doesn’t exactly spark joy, but… you’ll need to eventually, right? You can’t just keep her body forever. It doesn’t belong to you. Maybe once you figure out how to give it back, Umeso can help you find a guy’s body to inhabit? You’re not sure how that would work without running into the exact same body-stealing problem, but whatever, cross the bridge when you get there, huh?

“Uh, sure.”

Turning toward the door, Umeso shouts, “She is ready.” Oh, Ruem wasn’t listening!

For a moment, nothing seems to happen. Then you realize that Umeso’s eyes are tracking something that you can’t see. Eventually her eyes fall back on you, and Umeso extends an arm. You lay a hand on the arm, and the Ruem orb appears on Umeso’s shoulder, looking less hostile than before.

“Hey,” the orb says.

“Hi,” you say back.

Ruem’s eyes shift around the room. Despite the lack of pupils, you can tell she is avoiding eye contact. “So, uh, did you know it’s really weird to watch yourself run away crying, knowing you’re the cause of it?”

“I wasn’t crying!” you insist, crossing your arms. “…At first, anyway. And also, that doesn’t sound like an apology.”

“I’m working up to it!” the orb shouts, glaring for a moment before having the good sense to appear embarrassed. “Uh, sorry. Not for the— I mean for shouting. But anyway, point was, it made me feel bad, seeing myself run off like that. Well you’re not myself, but, you know…” Though you’re still quite upset with her, this terrible apology attempt is resulting in you stifling a laugh. Oblivious, she presses on, “So like what I’m trying to say is that I guess I maybe jumped to conclusions and was possibly too harsh or whatever, and, uh… sorry?”

A snort escapes your mouth as you shake your head. Wow. “That sounded like a question at the end, there.”

“It wasn’t! I’m really sorry, for reals!” There’s a beat where you can tell she’s trying to stop herself from putting a metaphorical foot in her mouth. She fails. “...I mean unless you really have been creepy with my body. You haven’t, right?”

Hand to your forehead, you say, “No wonder Kittpey was surprised. You couldn’t be genuine to save your life.”

“Kittkat? What’d you do to her!?”

“You are horrible at this,” Umeso sighed.

Shaking your head, you wonder why you’re even considering explaining when she clearly isn’t interested in listening. But you do it anyway. “She comforted me when I was upset, and was surprised when I hugged and thanked her. She even asked who I was.”

“Hah, of course she did! I wouldn’t pull that weak-ass shit,” Ruem shouts, gleeful. “She’s gonna figure your ass out soon!”

Umeso sighs again. “That is not the brag you believe it to be. Also, you are supposed to be apologizing.”

“I did that already, though!” Ruem says, outright huffing. Do tiny orbs of hate have lungs? “And he’s still sitting pretty in my body, so maybe I’m not the bad guy here, actually, and we can stop bullying me?”

To your knowledge, you have never experienced an aneurysm, but you are starting to think you might know what it feels like. “I didn’t take your body on purpose, Ruem! I just woke up in here, it wasn’t a choice.”

“So please stop being so antagonistic.”

“I’m the one out a body, don’t I get to be a little antaga… antag.” You decide to let her struggle that one out on her own. “…A little mean? And if you don’t want to be in there then, like, get out, Stranger Boy!”

“Don’t call me Stranger Boy.”

Face lighting up, at least compared to her usual muted expressions, Umeso says, “Oh, yes, what is your name?”

The name you had back on earth comes to mind. It’s not the worst of names, and you have no real reason not to offer it now, and yet… something tugs within you, and the name dies on your lips. You try to identify that something, but it buries itself deeper within you like some sort of burrowing rodent. You frown.

“I… don’t remember?”

“Now who’s saying things like questions.”

Eyes narrowing, Umeso leans toward you again. Ruem briefly rolls off her shoulder, disappears from your view, then reappears on top of Umeso’s head a moment later. “You do not remember? That is… interesting.”

“...Is it?” you say, wilting under the scrutiny.

Umeso nods. “Yes. Hazy memories are common among you spirits, but not usually when it comes to personal details. Mostly it takes the form of no one remembering how they died.”

Staring wide-eyed, you say, “So you just… you talk to spirits all the time? Like… spirits from Earth?”

The nods she gives in response rattle Ruem, which puts a smirk on your face. “And other places, but yes.”

“Okay, you have GOT to tell m—”

Angry eyes on the Ruem sphere flash. “Hey, we’re getting off subject!! If you don’t remember your name, what do you want us to call you, kid?”

“I’m like 23 years old.”

“And avoiding the question.”

Dammit, you thought she was unobservant. “I—I don’t know!! Whatever you two want to call me?”

“So Stranger Boy.”

“Except that!”

“Stupid Boy.”

“How about Biat?” Umeso says with the first smile you’ve ever seen on her face. She leans back, and Ruem hops back onto her shoulder. The two of you stare at the grinning girl.

“You want to give him a grandma name?”

“It is gender neutral. And it means ‘wandering spirit’, though I suspect it typically is not to be taken so literally.” She pauses, then softly says, “I considered using it for myself.”

Something tugs in your chest. “You got to pick your own name?”

“Indeed.”

You frown, confused. “...But then isn’t Ruem right about it being a girl name?”

The look of disapproval in Ruem’s eyes and disappointment in Umeso’s makes it clear to you that you’ve messed up, and pretty majorly, even if you’re not sure how.

“Dude, Umeso is nonbinary. They/them, you dickhead.”

Oh. …What? Nonbinary. You vaguely remember hearing the term before, but you never really understood it. “S—sorry, I, uh…”

“You do not understand. It is clear on your face. The other souls from your world have not understood either, but I thought…” They pause, and you try to figure out what they might have thought. You come up with nothing, and they do not finish the thought. “But yes, please use they and them as my pronouns, not she or her.”

“S—sure!” Worried that you’ve soured Umeso’s opinion on you, which is something you think you’re starting to care about, you add, “Sorry, again.”

They wave a hand. “Think nothing of it. I should have said something sooner. Now, what would you like to be called?”

Right, your name. They had said “Biat”, huh? Rolling the name over in your head a few times, you feel nothing wrong with it. For whatever reason, it feels better than offering your old name, at least. “I’ll go with Biat. I like it.”

Ruem scoffs. “Okay, Grandma.”

You shrug. “I’ve been called worse.” Much worse.

“Whatever, not asking for your life story. Now get out of my body!” Umeso turns their head to stare at Ruem. Trying and failing to sound sweet, the orb adds, “Um. Please?”

Does this girl have a nice bone in her body? Hah, maybe she used to, but since she’s apart from it now… You try not to laugh at your own unspoken joke and refocus. Getting out of Ruem’s body seems terrifying, in that you have no idea what will happen to you, but…  That’s not even the main issue right now, is it. “Okay, I agree to get out. But… how?”

“Just do the astral projection spell, duh.”

“Right. How.”

Ruem blinks angrily at you. “Well I mean you just… you do it.”

“Ah. I see the issue,” Umeso says, putting their books in their lap and their hand on their chin. “You are not from this world. You do not know how to cast magic.”

Of course they would get it. You think you’re starting to like Umeso. “Yeah. Radestro had to physically help me climb over the wall. But at first he wanted me to levitate.”

“Ugh, you can’t even do a simple levitation spell?” Ruem says, no doubt rolling her eyes.

“I can’t do any spells!” you say, rolling your eyes back at her. “Magic didn’t exist in my world! Not outside of movies and video games, anyway.”

“The fuck are those?”

“Uh…” How do you explain… You glance over at the pile on the other bed. “Well one’s like moving comics. The other is… moving comics that you control in real time?”

Ruem’s eyes shimmer. “O—oh. That’s. That’s cool.”

You hide a smirk Now if only she could be more like that all of the time… “So how do I do magic, then? I’ve only seen that old professor do it, and he just, like… put his fingers on his neck or something.”

“Well yes, that is how one starts,” Umeso says, muttering as though they’re talking more to themself than to you. “But they just projected their voice, so you didn’t even get a chance to see the ribbon.”

Ribbon?? But also, they had said, well… ‘they.’ “So Professor Spakle is, the um… is nonbinary too?”

“Indeed.” The gears in Umeso’s head are definitely whirring; you’re surprised they even heard you.

Nonbinary, huh? The Professor has a beard, which you thought only guys have, but apparently nonbinary people can have them too? Maybe it has more to do with clothes. Ah, yeah, that made sense with how the Professor was dressed, huh? Nodding, you say, “That makes sense, I think. They had a kinda girly hat, but then a suit like a business guy, so…”

Ruem is staring at you in simultaneous confusion and disgust. “Gendering clothes?? Whatever world you’re from has some serious hangups.”

Okay so you’re still off the mark. There’s no way you can disagree with Ruem’s comment, though. Even if you hadn’t thought of this particular thing as one of your world’s many hangups before. But really, no gendered clothes here? That would make it even more difficult to figure out people’s genders, which was starting to seem like a real problem for you, since you’d been wrong twice now. “Hey, um… I hope this is okay to ask, but… how am I supposed to tell people’s gender here?”

The orb scoffs at you. “You can just ask, for one. But also the identify spell. Obviously.”

Coming out of whatever thought pit they’d been trapped in, Umeso smiles again. “Yes, perfect! That is the spell I can show him.” Putting two fingers to their neck, Umeso says, “Now watch closely.” They pull their fingers away, and a thin, green line follows, connecting their neck and fingers. Holding their hand there for a moment, presumably for your benefit, they then move their hand up to their glasses. With a light tap next to their eye, the green thread disappears. They open their mouth to speak, but then frown slightly, staring above your head. “Well that is… odd.”

“...What just happened?”

“I cast Identify. I did not expect you to have changed your default, and I have seen Ruem’s before, but…” They pause, still staring above your head.

“But…?”

“Apologies,” they say, shaking their head. “It says ‘Error.’”

“Error? …Like a videogame?” Oh right, they don’t know what that is. But… “Well what is it supposed to say?”

“It is supposed to say your chosen name and pronouns.”

You can choose pronouns? On some level you knew that, but still. What a fascinating spell. “So you haven’t seen it say ‘error’ before?”

“No. I did not know that is a thing that could happen.” They tap a finger on their chin. “It must be because you are an alien in an Idrestian body. I have cast identify on other souls from your world before, and they say the usual default: ‘Unknown.’”

“We should call you Error instead,” Ruem says with a giggle. You roll your eyes.

“That’s weird, but okay, how do I do that? Also: Idrestian?”

“What we are. Named after our world, Idresta.” They smile. “As for the magic, it is simple. Put your fingers to your neck. Two should be enough.” With a nod, you follow the instruction. “Then you… well, you project magical intent.”

You stare blankly. Putting your fingers to your neck, you focus real hard, like when you tried to levitate, but when you pull your fingers away, there’s nothing. A few more attempts also result in only frustration.

 “No, stop. You… you just.” They frown, gears turning in their head again. “What was it they said when we were young…” Closing their eyes, they say nothing for a few moments, then… “Focus on your fingers touching your neck. Focus on the fingers, focus on the neck, and imagine a thread connecting them. Slowly pull your fingers away, still focusing on that thread.”

Squeezing your eyes shut, you try to do as they said. You focus on your fingers and your neck, but get waylaid for a little bit by the fact that they aren’t exactly your fingers or neck. Does the magic care? Should you think about it as Ruem’s fingers, and Ruem’s neck? Are you overthinking this? You feel a bead of sweat forming on your forehead, and use your other hand to wipe it away. Right, your hand. Just think of it as yours for now. Your fingers, your neck. Connected, by a thread. Slowly, you pull your fingers away, eyes still shut tight. You imagine the thread being pulled out of you, and it’s almost like you can feel it, a dull energy warming your fingertips and the spot on your neck where they’d touched. You hear gasping from nearby.

“That’s not the right color!! How’d he change the color!?”

Voice full of wonder, Umeso says, “It must be the soul that determines the color, not the body. Fascinating.”

Slowly, not wanting to lose whatever it is you’ve done, you open your eyes and move your fingers in front of your face. Sure enough, a light blue line of magic connects to your fingers, almost more in the middle of them than directly on either one. “Woah.”

The line wobbles, then dissipates. You can’t help but pout. “Damn.”

“That was excellent, though!” Umeso says, practically beaming. “Now try again, and this time, connect the magic to your eyes. Then clearly think the word ‘Identify.’”

It takes you a few tries to maintain the magic long enough to ‘connect’ it like Umeso said. Also you poke yourself in the eye one time and receive cackling from Ruem for it. But eventually you manage to tap right next to your eyes like Umeso did, and sure enough, words appear over Umeso and Ruem’s heads.

Umeso Arestran | they/them

Ruem Phasos | she/her

“It works!” you shout, smiling wide. “So this works on anyone? And you can change it?”

Umeso nods, stops, shakes their head, then stops again. Finally, they make a small shrug. “Not everyone, only magic users, or those without who have requested it. And yes, it can easily be changed by tapping your main heart with magic and clearly thinking of your name and pronouns.” They stop, then their eyes widen and they smile. “It is also possible to display neither, and instead use the default ‘Unknown’ or the more purposeful ‘Unavailable.’”

“Yeah but only sketchy people use that one,” Ruem says.

Ignoring Ruem, Umeso points a finger at you, bobbing it up and down. “I also recommend thinking clearly about who you want to identify. That way you will only see one person’s information, instead of everyone you immediately look at.”

“Used it in a crowded room once without doing that and I couldn’t even read anything. Was just a jumble of words and colors.” The pensive look in Ruem’s eyes shifts quickly to irritation. “Wait, so you can use magic now, right? Then get outta my body, boy!”

If Ruem weren’t so ball shaped, would you be fantasizing about kicking her right now? …Maybe.

Umeso shakes their head. “No, he struggled even to cast Identify. Astral projection is not simple magic.”

“It isn’t? Didn’t seem so hard to me,” Ruem says, still glaring at you.

An eyebrow raises on Umeso’s face. “Well firstly, knowledge on how to cast it is not easy to come by, since it is forbidden.” Ruem looks just as surprised about this as you. “Which you would know if you paid attention in history class.”

“No one pays attention in history class.”

“And secondly, yes, from what I understand it is rather advanced magic. The fact that you accomplished it is impressive.” The little sphere on Umeso’s shoulder beams, despite having no mouth. “Though perhaps it is unsurprising that things went wrong. It is forbidden for a reason, afterall.”

“Did soul switching used to happen a lot or something?” you say, wishing Professor Spakle had been talking about this particular subject instead of whatever they were actually droning on about.

“Not often. Afterall, there were fewer souls floating around back then,” Umeso says, as though it were obvious.

“You just say things sometimes and it gives me so many ques—”

The door to your room opens. A surprised Kittpey stares at the three of you — or probably she just sees the two. Her expression quickly turns from shock to fury, and her arm shoots out, finger pointing aggressively.

“You.”