Silas stuck a leaf to his head and felt it stick for a moment before the wind took it. He was out shopping, which he hadn’t done in his past couple of lives, and it was wonderful. People hadn’t stopped and stared at him when Sakura threw a kick his way. He caught the leaf and reapplied it to his forehead. Sakura moved to throw a punch.

 

“Do you want to break your wrist again?” Silas asked.

 

“Hey Sakura, it’s me, Sasuke.” Naruto transformed into Sasuke said.

 

Everything about the transformation’s demeanor, from its hesitation, the slightly different beat of its heart, and most telling, the scent of pork broth on Naruto’s breath. Sasuke preferred salads for lunch, the weirdo.

 

“Please save me, Sasuke.” Sakura said Sasuke sized Silas up.

 

Silas listened to the guys pounding heart and felt bad. Naruto, the boy, ate so much ramen that the smell followed him like a miasma. Then there was the lack of deodorant, and the transformation had the shirt fused with the pants. The wind blowing wasn’t just from Sakura’s kicks, so Sasuke’s hair should move unless he used a lot of hair gel.    

 

He flicked the boy’s head, and the transformation failed. Naruto shot off his feet and hit the wall behind him. “Oh, Naruto, it’s good to see you; how have you been, buddy?” Silas asked.

 

Naruto held his head where Silas thumped him. “How did you know it was me?” Naruto asked.

 

“You acknowledged Sakura’s existence. Silas said.

 

“That’s really mean,” Sakura whispered.

 

Her cheeks were rosy, but he didn’t know if it was from embarrassment or anger. On the other hand, she hadn’t thrown any more kicks at his head, so maybe the former. 

 

“Personally, I think he’s gay. The guy gives Naruto more attention than any of the girls.” Silas said.

 

He thought about how much time the guy spent away from his wife, and things were starting to make a lot of sense. Well, Sarada was born, so it could be that Sakura was artificially inseminated. The Sharingan needed to be passed on, after all.

 

Silas put a hand to his chin and gave the Sharingan some serious thought. While he did want it, he wasn’t going to go out of his way for it. If he planned to do that, he would need to learn medical ninjutsu and start planning to capture Danzo. Why try to steal Itachi or Madara’s eyes when there was an arm full ripe for the plucking.

 

“Sakura, how are eyes preserved from the field?” Silas asked.

 

“What, I didn’t get that?” Sakura said.

 

“Nevermind, I can look it up. Let’s go on a date and see the sights of Konoha before we’re trapped on teams and training for the foreseeable future.” Silas said.

 

He knew she would say no. But, really, it would be inconvenient if she said yes. He had so much to do, like figure out capture methods that wouldn’t turn people into puddles of gore. After the Mizuki incident, Silas decided he wanted to do a no-kill playthrough if he could. With that in mind, he planned to visit the school and play around with their practice dummies. What else were they good for?

 

“Alright, if you tell me about your technique,” Sakura said.

 

“Well, that's too bad, maybe; you said yes.” His entire afternoon was ruined, and he had no idea what to say to her on their date. Nothing was planned for this eventuality. He swung, knowing it would be a miss.

 

Silas felt himself deflate. There was so much work to do. He had to build their relationship up and out of the friend zone before they separated. More than likely, she was using him, so she could hand Sasuke his nonexistent technique. She would probably cut the date short if he revealed it didn’t exist.

 

“Why did you agree to this bastard and not me?” Naruto demanded.    

 

“For the jutsu that makes me durable. Sorry, Sakura, there is no jutsu. I’m naturally durable.” Sakura pursed her lips, then shrugged, and that blew his mind.

 

“I think we can have a good time if you keep your hands to yourself,” Sakura said.

 

He was off-script, and it didn’t feel right. Worse,  Sakura Haruno threw him off script, making him want her more. Would she be the first Kunoichi he added to his harem?

 

Silas tried to calm his dick. Thinking about it wouldn’t be good for anyone. If he lost control, he could destroy Sakura. Really to have sex with her, she would need to become exceedingly powerful. He wasn’t certain his stats and power level were inheritable. Add chakra to the mix, and any of his children would be little monsters.

 

“Are you paying attention? Where do you want to go?” Sakura asked.

 

There he was, letting his dick think for him again. Where should they go first in Konoha? What were the sights that mattered?

 

“Hey, Naruto, could you leave us alone? I’m sure Sasuke is around here somewhere.”

 

Sakura suddenly looked conflicted; if he wasn’t certain his efforts did nothing to divert her desire for Sasuke before, then she confirmed it. Of course, that wasn’t a problem. He wasn’t planning on making any big moves on their first date.

 

“Not likely I left him tied up,” Naruto said.

 

Silas made a show of listening. While he could enhance his hearing with chakra, all he got was static for his efforts. Konoha was loud, and picking out individual noises from the chaos wasn’t easy. He wasn’t superman.

 

“He isn’t tied up anymore,” Silas said.

 

Around this time, Sakura would have told Naruto he was annoying. Then diarrhea would hit the blonde after a brief confrontation with Sasuke. Afterward, Sasuke would give Sakura a taste of her own medicine. That doesn’t do a thing for later interactions, so neither took it to heart.

 

“Come on, Sakura, show me where you buy your ninja tools while we decide where to go.”

 

…

 

After buying a few spools of ninja wire and a beginner's guide to seals to be delivered to his apartment, they stopped by a café.

 

“Why is Naruto so annoying, and you’re weird?” Sakura asked.

 

“I’m complicated. Neither of us have parents, but Naruto was treated worse than other orphans. A lot of the social expectations you take for granted were never taught to him. He doesn’t have much, so he holds tightly what he can take for himself; Naruto is a boy with a desperate dream.”

 

“Hokage, can you imagine him being Hokage,” Sakura asked.

 

“Only he could be a deadbeat dad with shadow clones,” Silas said.

 

“What,” Sakura said.

 

“Yea, he would be a terrible Hokage. I couldn’t imagine him calmly filling out paperwork all day.” Silas said.

 

“I noticed you do that a lot. You’ll say something crazy, then change to what people expect. Some people find that annoying.” Sakura said.

 

“Do you?” Silas asked.

 

“It's weird, but I don’t hate it. Why did you touch me?” Sakura asked.

 

“Do you want the truth or the accepted truth? One is impossible to prove, and the other raises more questions.” Silas said.

 

“Fine, don’t tell me. You don’t have to act mysterious, especially when you can’t pull it off.” Sakura said.

 

“We are on a date, isn’t this supposed to be a peak behind the veil. As for why I touched you, let’s say I had a psychotic break after awakening my bloodline and leave it at that.”

 

“Why do you have one and Sasuke doesn’t?” Sakura said.

 

“He does. It’s the unevolved form of alien god eyes,” Silas said.

 

She ignored his statement. “Could I have one?” Sakura asked.

 

“Become a medic, and the door opens to all possibilities. You probably have the chakra control for medical ninjutsu.” Silas said.

 

She glared at the leaf on his forehead. “Doesn’t holding that leaf on your head get tiring.”

 

“Only when the wind blows,” Silas said.

 

Their orders arrived, and Silas had tea. He knew better than to pig out on a date. But, back in his first life, he did that on his first-ever date and puked. Silas wouldn’t ever forget that, even if he lived a thousand years.

 

“What kind of ninja do you want to be?” Sakura asked.

 

“A harem master.” Silas said.

 

“What,” Her question hit him then.

 

“I mean a good one.”

 

“Already thinking of dating other girls is a strike against you,” Sakura said.

 

Silas shrugged. “It's better than being a Hokage. Collecting my own harem of the girls I want to spend my life with is a perfectly valid dream. So far, the only girls I have my eyes on are you and the legendary of the region, but she doesn’t show up for a few years.”

 

He watched his beautiful angel of a pink-haired kunoichi tighten her fists. Any second, she would leap across the table.  

 

“I plan to become rich and powerful enough to support a harem. I’m going to be the 1% of the 1%. After I learn the shadow clone technique, I will spend my time with all of you simultaneously. It's why I’m using a chakra control exercise as we speak. I need to have enough chakra to use the shadow clone jutsu.”

 

“Why even tell us then. You could use a transformation on the clones, and we would never know.” Sakura said.  

 

“Alright, having multiple wives only happens when a clan is about to go extinct. You are a no-name orphan, so the village elders would throw a fit even if we agreed. Sasuke could do it.” Sakura said and blushed. “I looked it up.”

 

“Well, none of that matters until I get control over my strength. Right now, I probably couldn’t hold your hand without breaking it.” Silas said and gave her hands a wistful look.

 

“I told you to keep your hands to yourself.” Sakura reminded him. “Tomorrow, we’re going to be put on teams. Who do you want to be with?” Sakura asked.

 

“Ino and you or maybe Hinata and you. It's hard to decide which would be better. But knowing my luck, I’ll be on a team of nobodies. I’ll forget their names and probably take missions solo.” Silas said.

 

Sakura blinked, then shook her head. “That’s not how things work at all. Did you ever pay attention in class?”

 

“I choked Mizuki out for his dry lectures,” Silas said.

 

“I’m ignoring that. When genin teams disband, the genin go to a genin corps under a chunin.” Sakura said.

 

“Huh,” Silas said.