Chapter 3: Beaten But Not Broken

On my day off, I spent my morning swimming in the lake that fed the showers at camp.  We ran by the lake on one of our longer runs.  I had made sure it was acceptable before I headed up to the lake, and one of my trainers confirmed I would not be killed for swimming up there.  There was a watchtower up there, and the two guards said I should just remain on the banks under it, and I would be fine.  The last thing I wanted was to be executed for trying to escape.

I was sitting on the bank, admiring my leaner and fitter body, when one of the mages came down to the bank with a fishing pole.  Looking up, I noticed it was Damian.  He had healed me many times, usually charged my translation amulet, and helped me with the language.  We started talking while he fished, and I asked him more questions about magic.

“Damian, what is the difference between a spell form and actual magic?”  I asked while he cast over and over, something akin to fly fishing.

He was very patient with me as he explained, “In order to cast a spell, a mage has to channel aether into a construct.  Constructs come in three forms.  They can be a physical device with an embedded spell form like the amulet you are wearing, or they can be imprinted permanently onto a person’s aether core, although each affinity on a person’s core can only accept one such inscription.  But what really defines a true mage is the last method.  Being able to create a spell form in the air using aether manipulation and manual dexterity.  However, the spell form is created; once you have it, you only need to channel aether into it to generate the spell’s effect.  Give me your translation amulet, Eryk.”

I removed the device and handed it to him while he put down his fishing pole.  He proceeded to disassemble the device, showing six stacked discs inside.  Each disc was comprised of complex runes.  He assembled the device, orienting the discs on a tab, charged it, and handed it back to me.  He continued, “You can see how difficult it would be to write out all six sets of runes, maintain their forms, and then channel aether to cast the comprehension spell.”

“Yes.  I could maybe write one from memory if I studied it for a while, but all six?”  I responded with a new appreciation of mages. 

“There are some simpler spells with only three layers, but it is not just writing them with aether in the air.  You have to do it fast enough that they do not dissipate and keep them all oriented correctly.  Even if someone had a strong affinity, only one in a thousand of those people can control their aether and truly cast spells.  Mages are highly valued throughout the world.” he sighed.   “I am not a true mage.  All my spells are spell forms permanently imprinted on my aether core.”

“Can anyone add spell forms onto their core to cast spells?”  I inquired hopefully.

“Yes and no.  It is not too difficult, as it is mostly intent and will, and having a visual representation of runes also helps.  But you do need to have a strong enough affinity with the magic.  Generally, you need a score of at least ten in the affinity to imprint a spell form on your aether core successfully.  Less than that, it is extremely uncommon.”  He picked up his pole and continued to fish. 

After a while, I asked, “So people generally don’t have affinities over 10?”

He looked over at me curiously. “Usually, everyone is tested when they are fifteen.  Do they not do that where you are from?” 

I remained calm and responded, “No, it is reserved just for the nobility.”

He nodded in understanding.  “A waste.  You never know where the next great mage might come from.  But everyone always has some affinity for at least one of the magics.  It is usually small; and between five and six is normal.  Secondary affinities are usually half of the primary.”  He considered for a moment. “If you have never been tested, maybe your primary affinity is strong enough to create a spell form on your core.  If you wish, I can try to obtain an affinity assessment stone when it passes through.  They are expensive and usually only found in large cities.”

“I would appreciate that, Damian,” I replied with a hopeful smile.

He nodded and cast again. “I am actually quite well-versed in the process.  I cannot create spell forms in the air, but have seven different spell forms inscribed on my core.”  He held up his finger to demonstrate, and a steady flame appeared on it.  “This is my fire affinity spell form.  I only have eight affinity with fire, so this was all I could manifest.  Still, it is useful in lighting fires.” He smiled triumphantly. 

His smile fell.  “Your affinities were space and time?”  I nodded.  “Do not get your hopes up.  They are rare magics, which usually means lower strength of the attribute.”

“How strong is your healing affinity?”  I asked.

He smiled at my curiosity. “Generally, it is impolite to ask a person their affinity strength, but my healing affinity is 54.  It is my second strongest affinity.  My spell form can heal another person’s flesh, organs, and bones.”  Damian was one of the best healers in the camp, and I had been administered to him many a time.

I pressed hopefully, “Can you teach me some basic aether shaping exercises?  I have a potential of eight in shaping and would like to improve.” 

Damian frowned. “I thought your shaping was something like that.  In order to create spell form and cast spells like a true mage, it is considered a requirement to have a minimum score of forty in aether shaping.  My own score is twenty-seven after years of practice, and my potential is only slightly higher.  I spent years trying to learn spells and failed.”

Seeing my downcast expression, he tried to cheer me up. “You might still be able to create a spell form, Eryk.  I will see about borrowing a tablet if it passes through.  And I will also teach you the two basic exercises for aether shaping.”

We spent the next two hours as a teacher and student.  The two exercises were focused on visualization and meditation.  Once you could feel the aether, you could manipulate it with your mind in your body.  It was late in the day when we finished, and I thanked him and returned for dinner since I had missed lunch while I was out swimming.  I planned to double up on my calories. 

I kept my routine over the next three weeks. Eventually, I could manifest the feeling of my aether in my core with the exercises Damian had imparted.  It was difficult and mentally taxing, and my control was crude, like kneading a dough ball in my core.  My mental exhaustion didn’t help me during morning fitness training the following day, so I needed to temper my magical aspirations.

The next wave of testing was upon us, and I was very curious to see my results.

The tester raised his eyebrows while writing down my new stats in the log.  I again sneaked a peak at my magic stats and saw a great improvement.  My next goal was to be able to charge my amulet by myself.  I could now communicate in the common tongue without the amulet, but my vocabulary was still limited.  It appeared the language was derived from Latin, but I was not a linguist.  I found out the amulet cost 20 gold even though it was extremely old.  It would not be going with me when I graduated, so I needed a good grasp of the language before then.  Six more soldiers were cut after the tablet readings by Silas, bringing our number to 68.

Testing did not go as well as I had hoped.  I finished 23^rd in sword ranking, 30^th in sword and shield, 25^th in dagger, and 7^th in hand-to-hand.  We were also tested on spearmanship for the first time, and I finished 3^rd.  All of the practice with the staff and Helena had greatly helped.  Helena was the only woman left in the barracks; the other woman had been cut at tablet testing.  Now Helena was constantly harassed.  She was not in danger of getting raped because if she was, the man would have been executed the next day, but she did have to deal with constant “requests.” 

I would have helped her, but I was outnumbered and didn’t want the small cliques of men to focus their attention on me.  Some men had taken to sharing in each other’s company at night, without a willing woman present.  That was not my preference, and I hoped maybe after I graduated, I could find a woman.  I used the intense training to keep myself distracted.

For finishing 3^rd in the spear competition, I was awarded an essence!  The awards were announced after three more men were dismissed, bringing our number to 65.  I was worried as I was called to choose my essence.  In the office of Commander Silas, I was asked, “Which physical attribute do you seek?” 

I thought about my shortcomings in combat.  My lower speed and agility were what cost me the most during practice.  So, I needed to choose quickness, dexterity, or coordination.  My lagging stat was dexterity, so I decided on that to increase my accuracy with my blade.  “Dexterity,” I responded after thinking.  Commander Silas thought my indecision was amusing and handed me the tiny faintly glowing yellow pearl—maybe closer to a marble’s size. 

Seeing my confusion, the commander said, “Just swallow it; savor it if you want.  The first time is always the best.”

I went outside and examined the ball for a long time.  I imagined what kind of power was contained within and how much potential was stored in the small item.  If I wanted to remain, I needed this reward to make a difference in my combat skills.  I swallowed and concentrated intently on it as it dissolved and entered my stomach.  I focused on the electric shocks in my veins and nerves that caused my muscles to twitch for a few minutes.  When it ended, I did not feel any different.  I didn’t know if I should have expected more, but I definitely didn’t transform into a hulking warrior.

We had a day off, and I hoped to meet the mage Damian again at the lake shore, but he never came to fish.  I spent the next three weeks backing off my magic training and getting more rest to focus on my weapon skills.  I couldn’t afford to slide down in the rankings and get cut.  The threat of being sent to the regular army kept me motivated.  After being at the camp for 12 weeks, I went confidently to the tablet testing for the first time.  I knew I had made ground on some of the others and was looking forward to weapon testing after the tablet. 

I was happy to see my dexterity improve by 4 points, and my dexterity potential even increased by one point.  The tester recording my data paused when he got to my dexterity.  He looked at my past reading and today’s reading a few times before continuing to copy my stats to my records, just shrugging. 

My physical attributes had improved significantly, so I looked forward to the ranking combat.  I wasn’t surprised my magic barely improved.  I usually just played with mana while I was taking a shit now, having given up on my hopes of becoming a mage.  Also, the nightly sessions caused fatigue the next day, affecting my training.  That day, I didn’t pay attention to people being pulled out, but noticed only 58 beds in the barracks were filled when we returned to prepare for the sword ranking portion of the testing.  With our numbers reduced, the testing was only going to take two days this time.

I finished 15^th in sword ranking, 19^th in sword and shield, 22^nd in the dagger, and 5^th in hand-to-hand.  It was mostly thanks to my improved accuracy.  Having trained with the same people for so long, I caught them off guard.  We were also tested in the polearm for the first time, and I finished 11^th. 

After getting noticeable results, I wished I had earned another essence, but I didn’t.  If we had tested on the spear, I would have had a shot, but there were just too many men ahead of me in the hierarchy of the other weapons.  Only the bottom two soldiers were cut after weapons testing this time, leaving 56 of us.  Helena was still with us, and we still practiced in the evenings.  She didn’t like to talk, but I think she liked my companionship—and beating on me.

So after 12 weeks of the 29-week training cycle, almost half of our number had been eliminated.  Helena hadn’t been cut but was near the bottom of the results.  I talked to her about it, and she wasn’t concerned.  “Female legionnaires are rarer than horns on a horse.  If I made it this far, I will probably make it and get assigned to special duty guarding a minor female noble related to a Duke or Count.”  It was more words than she had spoken in a week, and it was all I got out of her.

We had another off day, and I ran into Damian fishing.  I initiated a conversation. “Damian, do you know how we are eliminated based on our results?”

He considered what to say. “The commander decides based on the tablet testing.  Sometimes it is the lowest summed physical attributes, but not always.  He talks with the trainers and removes men he feels will not be good legionaries.  If you are not working hard, then you are at risk,” he advised. 

“How am I performing?”  I asked hesitantly.

Damian thought for a moment. “You work hard, but of the men, you are 25^th or 26^th in the summed physical stat pool rankings.  At least three weeks ago, I think that was where you ranked.”

My heart thudded.  If only thirty men graduated, I was close to the bottom of the hierarchy in my physical performance.  Damian added, “The commander leans heavily on the weapons testing, Eryk.  If you are in the top twenty for sword and shield, you will be safe from the tablet cuts the following tablet testing.  The men sent to the capital to join the Royal Legion patrol the city and fight primarily with the sword and shield, so I think that is why he stresses it.”  That alleviated some of my concerns as I had decent skill with a sword now and had just finished 19^th in the sword and shield ranking.

Damian added, “The instructor and commander were actually discussing you the other day, Eryk.  You made a sizable jump in your skill since the last testing.”  I nodded, realizing a lot of that had to do with the essence I consumed.  It had given me better control of my blade.  I could see why essences were so valuable. 

Damian returned to his fishing, thinking I was done asking questions.  He caught two decent-sized fish while I relaxed in the cool air under the shade of a tree.

I came up with some more questions.  I rarely had this opportunity, and my fellow soldiers were mostly ignorant.  They were also assholes, for the most part.  It wasn’t like a normal army where camaraderie was the goal.  This legion training seemed to be about improving and outdoing your fellow soldiers.  I asked Damian, “What are typical gains between readings for people?” 

He looked contemplative and said, “Between 10 and 14 is normal after the first three weeks, then 6 to 10 each of the following testing periods.” I considered I was doing all right then.  I might have even moved up faster than most of the others.  I had probably improved by 13 or 14 points in this last period alone. 

Damian caught a third fish and started packing up.  He said, “I heard they plan to send your cohort on a little adventure.  There have been some red goblin attacks at a village a hundred miles from here, and the commander decided you all could use the change of scenery.  You’re going out on a little training patrol.”  With that, he smiled, turned, and went to cook his fish.