It really was a big fat can of bullshit. 

To say I got nothing done was actually an understatement. After spending almost three entire days looking at my advancement formation, I felt even more confused than I was before. 

I knew which cluster of formations to start from, but there were still four formations within that cluster and I had the freedom to start from whichever one first. It didn’t matter which, but the illusion of choice added another level of indecisiveness to my actions. 

Each formation within the cluster was unique. They all had to connect to each other, which meant they had to be completed independently first. It was easy when I had already completed one; could see where the connections would fall in place, could visualize the energy flow. But until I completed the first cluster, there was none of that. 

So I could only attempt to understand each one individually, which would be fine if not for the absurd complexity. 

The formations contained symbols and runes and lines that had partially branched from the normal two-dimensional drawings into three-dimensional constructs. It was like a network of pathways leading to and from structures of data. 

I thought I had gotten a good grasp on the language of these symbols and formations, but a whole new world had been introduced. I had to learn an entirely new level of the same language that changed how things could be interpreted. It was like I had only learned the words before, and now I was learning the grammar. 

Three days did nothing more than break down the foundation I had built. The only solace was the necessity of the whole affair. These next levels would involve an evolution of sorts. My knowledge would have to follow along. 

I hadn’t been sure how long it would take to reach the next advancement before I started. I was hoping it wouldn’t be long, but I intuitively understood that each level would take much more time than the last. Even those at the Magisterium had taken years to make their early advancements. Granted, they were younger than I while taking the same steps, but I still knew that my rate of Advancement was unsustainable. 

I hadn’t expected a wall this high this early though. I wasn't even halfway through the power hierarchy. Would I really have to spend an entire year to get to Authority six?

What about seven, eight, nine? Those could only take longer. The difficulty seemed to be ramping up exponentially, and I was right at the bottom of the curve… how many years would it take just to develop those authorities? Five? Ten?

I didn’t want to think even that far ahead, but couldn’t keep myself from doing so. There was a constant worry in the back of my mind that taking so long to reach those higher levels of strength would be my death. 

My survival up until this point hinged on unprecedented advancement — of which the rate was practically unheard of — and the far above average lethality granted. If I were to suddenly lose that, would I be able to protect myself against all the shit that would no doubt come my way?

I sincerely hoped the military would be different. I didn’t care if it would involve a harsher lifestyle, so long as I didn’t have to worry about the bigwigs and my supposed brothers- and sisters-in-arms trying to kill me. 

I was getting sick and tired of it. All the people worth killing were precisely the ones I couldn’t kill, whether that was because of their strength or the consequences of doing so. I just wanted to go to a place where I could stop worrying about betrayal and oppression.

I lifted my head and let out a sharp exhale. 

Umara lifted her head from where she was reading the science book we had compiled. Her voice echoed through my Aura. 

(What’s wrong?)

(I’m itchy. How would you feel about heading back to the Capitol early?)

(I wouldn’t mind. Is there a reason why though?)

(Well, I’ve been contacted by a few people. I thought I should pay the Market a visit.)

I tapped my Aerial, looking at the messages from Patriarch Tavera, the Key Master, and my friends from Divine Distribution. 

They were all checking on me. Everyone in the Kingdom had heard what happened. I hadn’t even let them know that I was alive though since I had been preoccupied and didn’t feel like being social. 

Now though, I had pissed myself off thinking about the tournament and the position I had been in. 

My time as a delivery boy in the black markets had been filled with constant bloodshed. There was a reason the orders for the Trenches went mostly unfulfilled, and that was because it often took killing your way through to get anything done amidst all those psychos created by Apocryon’s drugs. And the more you killed, the more people you pissed off, and the more people you’d have to kill. It was a vicious, self-reinforcing cycle.

But at least I could kill them. A bullet through the skull meant one less nuisance to worry about in the future. I would never have to fear their revenge, and the more blood that was on my hands, the more people began to fear me. It got to a point where I didn’t actually have to kill anymore to make my way through. I had founded my notoriety in blood.

But at the Magisterium, I couldn’t instill that same fear. I was a chained dog that could only nip back. I had to suppress every instinct within me to not do what I had learned in the Trenches, to dive straight for the jugular. I could only be unruly, not something that would be worth putting down. 

It was annoying, the reason why I found myself worrying about not advancing fast enough, and why I suddenly felt like going back to the Market. 

Although, there was one other reason. 

I looked at Umara, simply enjoying the silence for a moment as we exchanged smiles.

To say that we had the hots for each other right now was an understatement. I was micrometers away from saying “damn it all” and tearing her clothes off. At the very least, whenever we weren’t training, she was trying to make out. The sex we weren’t having was being compensated by our less explicit activities. 

But to our great distress, we were being watched like hawks. Both of us could sense the Duchess’ Aura on the entire household at all times, especially since we were inside. After our advancements it was all too clear, and I myself could actually block her view to some extent. All I had to do was use some of my illusory capabilities and mask my immediate surroundings, like a fog but for Aura. 

But it didn’t matter; the absence of my presence alone would be a hint that we were doing something, and the Duchess would be all over it. We were under her roof, so I understood her concerns, but it was still annoying; our intimate time was frequently disrupted. She didn’t even let us sleep in the same room. 

Why she was doing all that, I didn’t know. Even Umara was confused by it all. Not even her worry over Anarchy’s influence was enough to warrant that much surveillance. 

Either way, I much preferred the undisturbable hotel. 

Umara combed back her gray hair. 

(I’m not sure how my mother would feel about that, but I say we should go anyway. It’s getting suffocating here. We also need to see Feiden.)

(Mm. Should we even ask?)

(I don’t know. Can we even sneak out?)

(If we’re smooth about it. Go pack your things into your spatial sack. When you’re done, we can go shopping.)

(Oh. Alright.)

Umara smiled and walked off, heading to her room. 

After that we met by the front door. Sure enough, just before we could walk out, the Duchess appeared. 

“Where are you going?”

“Shopping, mom. We lost everything in our chests at the base.”

“...Take Faey with you.”

“Faey is busy. I’m not dragging her out just to babysit her. And besides that, we aren’t children that need attending. I think we can find some clothing shops just fine by ourselves.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Then what is the point, mom?”

“...”

Talexia went silent, her face falling. 

“Fine, since you care to be so blunt. John, a word in private please.”

“Mom, Jo-”

“I’m not asking.”

Talexia waved her hand, creating a bubble that locked me in with her. Umara could only silently protest. Not even my telepathic connection was maintained. 

I turned to the Duchess who had dropped her fake face of indifference. 

“I’m only going to ask this once. What did you tell my daughter while she was dealing with her thoughts on Anarchy? She hasn’t been the same, and I know you had a hand in the change in her behavior. I just need to know whether you decided to take advantage of that to keep her fixated on you.”

“... First of all, I didn’t tell her nor lead her in any particular way. In fact, our discussion was quite the eye opener even for me. Your daughter is not easily convinced of much, not unless extreme circumstances compel her in one way or another. It’s not like I could somehow shape her however I wanted. But I suppose I can divulge the intimate details. All things considered, I respect you. Though I sincerely hope it goes both ways.”

I cleared my throat, the Duchess maintaining her silence and letting me explain. 

“Turns out, your daughter harbored quite an unhealthy level of doubt. Doubt in everyone and everything. She didn’t know who to trust ‘cause of shitty noble politics, and it seems like deep down, she could barely trust me despite everything we’ve gone through. The core issue there was my history, which if you want to know about, you’ll have to ask her. That’s something I think should stay between us. Anyway, it pissed me off, so I gave her an ultimatum. 

“If she wanted our relationship to work, then she had to trust me. Truly, and not just act like it. Thankfully Anarchy forced us to be completely open with each other, so she had no choice but to either change herself and come to trust me, or not. If not, then our relationship would have ended right then and there. But she did. She managed to get past her doubt. Now, our relationship is fully functional. And we’d be having quite the time of our lives if not for the timely greetings you always seemed to give us.”

“...”

I smirked at her as she let out a sharp breath. She continued staring at me as she considered my words.

Those purple eyes of hers were piercing, but like with Carrion, that was only because of their power. Duchess Talexia Talerria was a powerful woman, no doubt. But there was a reason she wasn’t an Authority 12, and I had a feeling that Aura was the very reason. 

I couldn’t match her, but my level of Aura allowed me to hide whatever she would normally be able to see. So long as she didn’t directly pressure me, I could hide away.

But she didn’t, so she could only stew in her thoughts and figure out how she felt about all this. 

Finally, she huffed. 

“I should’ve been there. I didn’t know what was happening, but now I regret not keeping an eye on you two.”

“I don’t know. I think it was for the best.”

“No, it wasn’t. John, you are quite the amazing man. You’ve managed to pull off the impossible a few times now. I applaud you for it, and I do in fact respect you. But the one thing that’s always concerned me is that head of yours. My daughter has never been quite herself since she met you. I believe that change is mostly good; she’s far happier and livelier than she was before, but as she becomes more and more like you, I start to notice the risky behavior she adopts. It comes from you, and I don’t like it one bit.”

“And you think she was better off with the alternative?”

“Everything was normal less than a year ago. So yes, I believe that.”

“Normal isn’t always a good thing, Duchess.”

My face turned neutral as I looked down at Talexia. Although she was supremely powerful, I was still taller and we both knew I didn’t treat people as if they were above me. I could look down on an Authority 12 if I felt like it.

“Now, I’m not usually one to argue for throwing away all forms of order and normalcy. But ever since I showed up in the Kingdom, it feels like that’s all I’ve been doing. Everything I come across is stupid, including the entire noble way of life. All of you are so pompous and arrogant that the mere presence of a commoner like me seems to piss you all off. But it didn’t bother me much until you all started trying to kill me just because I started dating a girl who I didn’t even realize was a noble! If I could remind everyone that Umara approached me first, I would. But nobody gives a damn because why would they listen to little poor me?

“But regardless of all that, the root of the issue is the fact that all you nobles are just a bunch of assholes. It’s all politics with you people, and Umara hadn’t quite accepted that way of life yet. And then I came along, someone who didn’t put up with that shit, and helped her see the light on the other side. Our few days wrestling with Anarchy was just the turning point that helped Umara understand that she didn’t have to put up with that shit either. It was because of all the crap that she’d experienced as a noble that she still couldn’t trust me even after facing the icon of death itself. All I did was show her that she could. Now what would you have told her? I’m genuinely curious because I find it very sad to imagine you trying to keep her on the same road she had been on, the very one that gave her trust issues in the first place.”

“That’s not how this works!”

Talexia shouted, her Aura rippling a bit. I could tell she was restraining herself so as to keep the conversation civil, but this topic was putting her on edge. 

“You said it yourself John. You’re not a noble, so you don’t know how this life of ours goes. We all have trust issues at first. I remember when I was a girl wrestling with the same thing so many years ago. I was slated to become the heir to the Talerria household. What kind of position do you think that put me in? I couldn’t trust anyone, not even my own family, and most certainly not outsiders. It took me decades to find my husband and another decade just to get married. And all that only happened because I eventually learned through time who I could truly trust, and that my doubts had been unwarranted. It’s a matter of experience, and Umara would have learned that eventually. It’s a part of our lives.

“Now I’m not a mother who won’t fight for her daughter. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my children, and I’m not afraid to wield the full power of my household to make sure their lives are stable and fulfilling. But you, John, have put me in a bad position. My daughter loves you and I understand that. I understand why. Believe me, if you had a noble name on your back I wouldn’t hesitate to simply let you two walk your road and see where it goes. But you don’t, and there are dozens of other nobles who want a piece of the Talerria household, who threaten the foundations of this family, and demand my daughter as the price to let it stay together. Both of us were able to stall while she was at the Magisterium, but then you came along and now we’re on very shaky ground. So forgive me if I’m unable to place my full trust in you, especially when you have such thorough influence over my daughter. The price of letting you two off a leash is higher than I’m willing to pay right now.”

“... We know, Duchess.”

I sighed. It felt like we were coming back full circle, arguing the same damn things over and over again. 

“We know all of that and it’s why we’ve held ourselves back up until now. Both of us have agreed to wait until marriage to do anything. But believe me, we know exactly why we aren’t able to do anything right now. And it all goes back to what I was saying. Nobles are just a bunch of old assholes who think they should own the whole damn world. Which is exactly why I don’t put up with it. Now, that lifestyle was keeping Umara from trusting me. And she wanted to trust me. So I gave her the choice, and she made hers. Whether she’s completely thrown out that way of life, I’m not sure, I can’t read into the depths of her psyche. All I know is that we trust each other fully now, and we’re prepared to do what we need to in order to make our relationship work. Take that for what it’s worth. I can only hope that you don’t try to get in the way, because I can be pretty damn stubborn too. My lineage, as common as you may think it is, fights for what it wants. If it works out, I’m going to marry your daughter. And nothing less than killing me is going to stop me. That much I can promise you.”

“... haah… I envy that youthful freedom.”

Talexia closed her eyes, her head hanging for a bit before a tear rolled down her cheek. 

I was surprised as she took a deep breath, wiping that tear and collecting herself. 

“I wish I didn’t have to do all this, John. I truly do. I wish I could just let you two be happy together. But our name comes with a price. The luxury and wealth demands certain concessions. Unfortunately both of my daughters were destined to have their marriages more arranged than not. It was never supposed to be difficult because they wouldn’t know anything else. But you’ve made this a lot harder on all of us. And right now, I don’t see an out. Know that, because at some point, they will come to collect.”

“...Yeah.”

I massaged my temple, the two of us connecting in our mutual melancholy.

What I did had really only delayed what they thought to be inevitable. And in that sense, this recent massacre actually bought me even more time. 

In that newspaper we read before was a list of the survivors. And one of my more hated enemies, the punk known as Ravon and one of Umara’s suitors, wasn’t on there. 

That was one entire family that no longer had any grounds to pressure the Talerria household. They had nobody to marry off anymore. 

I wasn’t sure about the exact number, but I was certain that he wasn’t the only one. 

And given the state of the military right now, reeling from the loss of a major base, as well as the outcry from the nobles who lost their children, there was no way anyone would be bothered about a marriage at the moment. We had time, and getting through her first years in the military would be yet another excuse Umara and her mother could use to keep people off their ass. 

So we had more time to find an out, even if there wasn’t one right now. 

After several more moments of silence, I sighed. 

“Duchess, I get that there’s not a lot going for us. But I want Umara to be happy just as much as you. I may just have a different vision of what happiness and fulfillment looks like. Still, that’s no reason we can’t meet in the middle and be allies in this. I usually make it a priority to be on the good side of my girlfriend’s parents.”

“Hm, you mean you do this often?”

“Umara isn’t the first girlfriend I’ve had, but I’ll do my damnedest to make sure she’s the last.”

“... I suppose.”

She let out a long breath, to which I smiled and put out my arms. 

She looked at me with a raised brow.

“Hug?”

“... Still cheeky.”

She rolled her eyes before accepting it, the two of us wrapping up in a tight hug. 

It was quite funny. She was the same size as Umara, so it was easy to just bear hug her like she was no more than an ordinary woman and not some all-powerful Duchess. 

Of course, she noticed my amusement as the hug went on for longer than normal and her head was smothered in my chest. That's when I felt some freezing cold fog nip at the back of my neck, causing me to jolt. 

“Ack!”

“I’m still a Duchess, you know.”

“All I see is my future mother-in-law.”

“Who’s a Duchess.”

“I fail to see the relevance.”

“Heh, sure.”

She chuckled before dispelling the dome around us. 

Talexia walked off as Umara stood there glaring. 

“Take care of my daughter in the Capital, please.”

“Always.”

I gave her one last smile before sticking out my arm so Umara could link her own. 

“Let’s go, dear.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

She took my arm, and the two of us started making our way out of Joffrun.