Chapter 11: Finding Comfort

 

Conflicted

We discussed what had happened. Abella took it in and accepted the incident as a sign from God. No real surprise there.

"A serpent, tempted by you, and the curse of us women followed? Of course I am going to say God is giving you a message," Abella was getting on my nerves. I knew she converted years ago. Now her zealous nature is on a ridiculous tier. 

At least she isn't wrong. There is a curse, I had been tempted by that smiling woman in Varna, and that God is responsible for all of these happenings.

Gunhelle had excused herself from the room, "I'm not feeling well." I'm not sure if it is the final straw that broke the camel's back, but I feel that for her, seeing was believing. Did she still have a skeptic view over who I am? I don't think that is the case. Maybe she is more worried about me than anything.

I am worried. This is the first time the Shade had actually attacked me. I'm considering it an attack, even if there really wasn't anything there, it still caused me and my sisters to flip out.

One thing that bugs me about this is the convenience of one sister not being present to witness this. Lykke would have started to understand what is going on rather than think I'm an impostor.

That thought does bring another worry to my attention. How does my aunt intend on announcing my return? I can try playing the son's role, at least for awhile, but it is going to be difficult with not everyone being on the same page. Lykke, being a major one.

Another would be the Liv, Earl Vloros Vaiga, who is likely here. I will have to keep my eyes out for him and attempt to be inconspicuous in his vicinity.

In the meantime, I'm getting myself out of this bed. Dorit is still tenderly stepping and nudging the blanket on the floor in the chance that we had thrown the snake off too. I likely would be doing the same, but with an ax, not my foot.

Britt stands beside Abella to discuss something. I stare at them and they certainly know I am looking at them. This doesn't seem to stop their chit-chat from being private.

"Still nothing," Dorit looks over at me and waves a hand for me to come over. "Grab the end and straight it out across the floor." She looks to the two gossipers, "Get back, just in case."

Kneeling down, I grab the end of the fabric. Dorit nods her head while counting down silently. At the same time, we pull on our opposing ends, gradually walking back and letting the sheet stretch and spread flat between us.

Nothing. A bloody stain, but that is about it. No snake. At least, nothing there that would appear like one. It only confirms that we had been visited by the Trickster.

"Now that we are out of harms way," I hear Abella come up behind me, "You need to bathe." She holds up the bowl of water, "This is not nearly enough to clean you up or get rid of that awful stench."

"I stink?" I am taken aback by this information. "I bathed already!"

"Today?" Britt asks this with clear skepticism in her voice and face.

"No, earlier this week. At Hammerhus... Why are you looking at me that way?"

Britt, Abella, and even Dorit stare at me like I had said something really stupid.

"You've been sweating enough to soak the bed and you are bleeding everywhere. On top of that," Abella reaches out a hand to tug on the blue tunic, sweeping a hand over the jacket and shawl I have on, and then fans her face as if to ward something in the air, "Your clothes are perhaps the filthiest things I've encountered in a long time."

That might be a bit true. Looking down at myself, I know that these clothes had been stolen from Vloros's stockpile, likely discarded, and had been in there for who knew how long.

I give my elder sisters a nod, "I will bathe."

"Regularly," Abella states.

"Huh? Wh- How do you mean?" I have an idea how she means it and I don't like the idea of wasting my time like that. Heating water everyday to take a dip is a bit much. I'd rather the spray of the sea be my choice of bathing.

"Everyday," Abella points at me, "Cleanliness is the closest you will be coming to purity." I have to admit, my Christian sister does smell the best out of the bunch, but that is not saying the others stink. I can almost taste something in the air around her. I've had a similar encounter with that aroma before in the bathing complex.

"I- I will do what I can," I give my sister a nod of my head in acknowledgement of her wish of me.

"Not good enough, but for now," Abella turns on her heels and heads for the doorway, "I'll draw a bath for you. I can't stand the smell any longer."

"..." My eyes are wide as I stare after Abella, then turn to both Britt and Dorit, and ask the obvious, "Do I really stink that badly?"

In unison, "Yes."

I take in a deep breath to calm myself and decide that it would be best to follow after Abella to get this done and over with. Dorit grabs my arm before I make it to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To take a bath?" I look at my eldest sister in confusion. Didn't we just discuss this?

"No," her free hand points down at my pants. "Take those off. You are not parading around with guests about like that."

I had completely forgot, "I- Uh, I don't have-"

"I'll find you something," Britt chirps in and runs out the door, closing it behind herself, and fades off in the hall someplace.

"Off, now," Dorit commands again. She lets go of my arm and takes a step back. Her arms cross low with her hands clasped together, awaiting me to act, and expecting my obedience. Well, she is my elder.

Undoing the front of my pants, I slide my thumbs along the snug waist banding around me and wiggle out of the hose. My feet, I had taken note that my boots must have been removed before-hand by someone, gives a kick to fling the article of clothing away from me. I walk over to the wall, the one that Dorte vented her anger out on, and turn around to lean my back against it in rest.

Dorit clucks her tongue at me and shakes her head at the display. "How about next time removing them with a bit of modesty? There is no hurry here."

"Modesty? It's clothing," I wave my hand down at the pants laying on the floor.

"I don't mean that. How you undress, the way you now stand, and the fact that you've yet to even use the rag to wash that mess from yourself." Dorit points at the bowl, "At least wash before Britt comes back."

My head shakes, thinking this is unbelievable, but I push off of the wall to collect the bowl and rag. Dorit says nothing more, but I can tell she is disapproving of my attitude. I move to the bed and am about to sit down when I see my sister's face light up in alarm.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." I take in a deep breath and stand straight again. Almost gave the bed yet another stain. Turning around, I prop my naked foot up onto the bed and spread myself between the divide of my legs. My other hand brings in the dripping wet cloth-rag to clear off the mess.

That's when the door opens back up. I assume it to be Britt bringing something else for me to wear when an outfit is set by the cleaner side of the bed. When I finish, the dirtied rag is deposited in the bowl, and I watch the dish be taken away by Dorte. 

Alarmed, I back nearly stumble from being half on the bed to taking my position near Dorit. Those sky-blue eyes are investigating my nudity before they raise up to meet my ice-blue ones.

"Gyrid is aware," she turns away to walk over to the door, opening it up with Britt on the other side. My sister looks a little sheepishly at me before the bloody bowl is thrust into her hands and the door slams shut. My aunt turns her attention back to me. Dorit seemed to have been shuffling gradually away from my position while Dorte's back had been turned.

I had to ask, "Wha- Ah, how did he respond?"

My aunt smiled. That is never, EVER, a good sign. "My brother welcomes you home." There is a long pause, Dorte ignores me for the time it takes for her to collect the bloody sheet off the floor, bundling it into her arms, and faces me again. "He has long awaited his child to return." The door is opened once more, no one being on the other side this time, but it doesn't stop my aunt from throwing the ruined sheet out into the hall.

"You told him who I am?" This part is important. If my aunt played some game on my father's fragile mind then there is Hell to be paid here.

"Hremod. Yes, I told him," she didn't look at me this time. She's still facing the door as it closes softly. "It took some time to explain, for him to understand, how you are." Dorte looks back at me. "You know why today is important?"

It takes me a moment to think about this. We are gathering not just the jarls, but everyone within the vicinity that can potentially be of use, and even some that would be a huge hindrance if they decide on taking advantage of our current losses. "War. We are discussing war."

"Unity. Everyone is here because of the union we represent... Had," her face turns away in thought. "War, yes, but not something we desire to continue."

"Why are we at war?" That is something I cannot grasp. We were all united under one rule. Maybe it had been a shaky unity, there were still plenty of raids and death. It still had been considered a sort of peace. Now, after hearing about my two sisters, the taking of those lands, and now the looming threat of the Swedish joining the fray.

"Not for me to talk about," a finger points at me. "Get dressed and find Solvej. She prepared a bath for-," Dorte stops in mid-sentence, grimaces, and strides directly to me. She grabs the bottom of my shirt and jacket to tear them up and off of my struggling frame.

"Hold! HOLD!" The clothes are thrown off of my body and handed in one hand to Dorit. My aunt's other hand grips me beneath the jaw and I am too stunned to react when she lifts me off of my feet against the wall.

"If I ever find you wearing that piece of filth again," her hand grips my jaw to keep me from protesting, "I will force you to eat it." She drops me and I nearly fall to my knees.

I soothe the soreness in my jaw for a brief second before pain yanks me forwards. Dorte rips the clothed wrapping I had around my chest savagely away. My arm comes up and around my chest to feel the burn along my ribs to the back of my shoulder-blades.

With a snarl, my aunt leaves the both of us, the clothed wrap in her hand, and snatching back the clothes she gave Dorit in the other in her enraged wake out the door. Dorit, I can hear finally allowing herself to breath again, rushes to my side and escorts me to the bed.

"Hurry and get dressed. You will feel better after bathing," she reaches out to the outfit on the bed, but halts. I look at her, wondering why she is looking at me oddly. It is as if she is seeing me for the first time. Almost like she is completely surprised to see me.

Dorit pulls me down into a hug, embracing me around the neck and the back of my head, pressing my face into her bosom. I feel her lips brush in small pecks on the top of my head. Then her hand smooths the short dirty blonde hairs down the nap of my neck.

"Shhh, everything will be fine... We will take care of everything, don't worry. Don't worry... Shhh," her voice is soothing and I can feel tension that I had not realized was building in me come undone. That is when I realize her front is being soaked by my tears. I gulp and swallow my breathing and reach around to brace and hold my eldest as I kneel down.

I couldn't help it. I begin to hiccup and actually cry. What had I come back to? Peace? What peace? I was running away from this very thing called war and now it followed me into my home. Nothing has been turning out the way I expected it. Not the land or my family. To my closest, I appear a complete stranger. In time, am I going to enjoy the chilling wind on my cheek or the brush of ashes dusting my face when my world burns?

I don't know how long we held each other like this. My knees were sore by the time she parted from me and took the outfit from the bed. It is a simple slip. Something that could go over my head and cover the rest of my body. Dorit pulls it over my head and I poke my arms through the sleeves.

When I stand, the rest of the slip, well, slips down. Not entirely all the way like it should. I'm too tall for it. Still, it is beating heading out into the halls completely naked or with a red target between my legs for all to see.

Dorit decides to accompany me on the way to see Abella. I am sure we will be getting an ear-full for how long we had her waiting. Good chance that she had to reheat water.

I discover that time had passed since I passed out in the hall. Enough that the great hall is filled with the jarls and guests of other realms. Many appear to be feasting while others bring their voices up in challenge to be heard between others' shouting. It will be a wonder if a fight doesn't break out in this lot.

Dorit, holding a hand along my back, and another to smooth out the silk slip on my arm, comes to a halt. I pause to look down at her giving a bow of her head to someone. I did not take note of the heavily muscled man approaching us until Dorit had stopped. 

My ice-blues lift from my eldest sister to meet with a copper set of eyes. The hair and features of the man is compared to the likes of a bird-of-prey, a raptor, more specifically that of a falcon. A broad pair of arms cross over his massive chest, having paused himself, and taking both my sister and I in his field of view.

I quickly tug on Dorit's arm to get us moving again. Quickly, if possible. I am not sure if he recognizes me like this. Maybe my height is what gives me away, but I can't be sure if he knows. He could be simply curious why I am in a slip that is too short and hurriedly steering the outskirts of the great hall full of men.

Dorit takes a look up at me and can see that my eyes are locked with the man I know well enough to stay away from. As if taking the hint, she gives Vloros another bow before resuming to escort me to where my bath can be taken. I watch as the Liv turns away, speaking with someone else, nod towards the two of us, and then leaving me with an image of him smiling in amusement in our direction.

"Stop staring," Dorit pipes up at me. I look down at her, my sister focused on where we are going and steering me away from the men. "I know he is quite the looker, but making it out that you are interested devalues you."

I am completely in shock that my sister would say something like that. There is wave of heat that rushes up in me and burns my face. I don't want to be angry, not here, not now, not after the comfort my sister had given me, but I am steaming.

At least, I thought it was anger. My skin tingled and there is a fluttering in my stomach that caused me to want a bigger gulp of air to cool off. There is an electric charge running up my thighs and my back felt the need to straighten. Nothing comes out of my mouth to rebuke what my sister suggested.

This really makes me afraid. I need to stay away from that man.

Abella is standing outside of a doorway with a look that could kill. We come up to her with a united bow of apology.

"Sorry it took so long," Dorit apologized, "but Dorte-"

"I know, I heard from Britt, but that doesn't excuse why it took so long after she had left." There is a tapping of my Christian sister's foot as she lifts her head up to face me. "Are you still sick? Your face is completely flushed red."

Immediately, I shake my head. "No," then I correct myself, "I don't think so."

It is Dorit who makes matters worse. "A man." This causes Abella to flip her attitude upside down. Those eyes light up and the strain in her face breaks into a smile. Then she returns to look up with me with a quivering lip trying to contain laughter.

I, of course, glow redder than should be possible and feel more motivated than ever to go into the room and drown myself in whatever hot tub my sister has prepared for me. Without even removing the slip, I step into the steamy water, and lower myself in until my knees are all that remain above the surface.

Staying under the water to drown myself is good in theory. Unfortunately, it is bad for my health and my body reacts accordingly when I need air. My head pops up and I gasp for a lung-full while wiping down my face of the excess wash.

"Feel better?"

"I bet not."

"Why is that?"

"Because I bet that man would feel better."

I dunk back in to at least go deaf if I cannot drown myself.

"If you go deaf, then there will only be me you can hear." All the air I had sucked into my lungs is expelled as I hear the Shade. My head and shoulders jump out with me searching around for it to appear. My sisters are backing away after getting splashed by me.

"What was that for?" I hear Dorit ask, but my focus is on finding the dark figure.

"Is something wrong?" My other sister Abella is concerned with the way I am acting.

"It's here," is all I say. This is met with Abella crossing her heart and Dorit cursing.

"We are here," Dorit comes back to the tub's side and kneels down for her hand to rest on my shoulder. "Where ever it is, that thing has to get through us first before you."

"That isn't exactly how I work," the Shade states in a wary way, "but I like her."

"Why can't you leave me alone?" I ask this, facing the water, knowing now that this thing is inside of me and not someplace within the room. Dorit gets a little confused, but her reassuring hand remains on me.

"First, it is because we keep stepping on each other's toes. Second, you are getting this entirely wrong. Third, this is becoming a fiasco. Four, death is going to spread out much further than here with the way you are handling things. Five, I can fucking help you DAMN IT!" This time, the Shade passes from my chest to face me, eye-to-eye.

"Fine," I tell it with a quiver in my voice. "Okay. What do you want?" It takes in a deep breath and relaxes.

"It is a bit too late for somethings, but we can mend the later half." The Shade leans up to me, "You are past being permitted to control your destiny. Not my fault," it throws its hands in the air, "You had to open your mouth and make everyone believe this is some Norse God's trick."

"But... You-" I don't get to finish.

"I never said my name. I told you I wouldn't after nearly smashing our dick off." More and more, the Shade is sounding feminine, and I am starting to see features in the Shade that I've noticed someplace else. Something majestic about the darkness in the Shade's face.

"Tiresias?" It, the Shade, Tiresias tilts its head to the side and gives me a smile that is bright and blinding white. It evaporates with the tub's steam.

There is a silence in the room. My eldest sister is keeping quiet, watching me, not risking to interrupt whatever conversation I am having with whatever creature Tiresias has become. Abella stands with her hands cupped together around something hanging from a necklace while she quietly prays.

What worries me now is what Tiresias meant by my destiny being out of control. The images of my dismemberment comes flashing in my mind. Is that going to be my fate?

My hands grip a hold of the tub's sides tightly and I try to get out. Dorit pushes me back in and holds me there for a moment. "Please stay. At least let us help you clean up and then we will not get in your way any longer today."

I look from Dorit to Abella and back again on my eldest. A small nod is given and I submit to the two coming onto me with their hands and rags. They actually had soap? This surprised me, but I didn't voice it. Too many topics outweighed the appearance of soap for me to test how steady I could talk right now...