mrsimple

It had been awhile since I'd written any chapters of Union.  This chapter was a return to the series, after debating on how I would be continuing it and deciding its conclusion.  I wasn't sure, and am still not certain, if this would have many more chapters, but I know how it will end.

For now, enjoy Kris's journey with her husband and company of Livonians as they push forwards to an unknown, or known, fate! :)

Enjoy! :D

Warning: Sexual Content and Violence ahead.

Chapter 19: The Gotland Conflict

Entrapment

At first, I was glad to see that man go. He took with him a cart filled with many trinkets, odds and ends, and all sorts of things. Vloros had given me a single wave goodbye before disappearing past the barricade.

With him gone, I wandered to different crewmen for me to watch, listen, and learn all I could. It was a difficult task to focus on them. My mind was a buzz with the knowledge of how true my fate would be. Could I not alter it at all?

For a single instant, I had thought of wading out into the river until I no longer could be seen. Just to see if the Shade, Tiresias, would show up in shock of being wrong how I would die. Of course, that instant thought was a fleeting one.

At least I was capable of earning a tad bit more respect for actually attempting to know these men. Every man that had come on board the three ships to follow Vloros, Valdis, and Dzim had lost something to the Swedes. A home, family, or something more personal that would not be disclosed to me. They were driven men, wanting revenge, and had found a way to seek it out through their growing company.

A week had gone by and still there had been no sign of Vloros. I enjoyed being free to roam around, but was worried for when Visborg would at last react to our raid. I had questioned Valdis and Dzim, even tried to see if anyone else would tell me, but all seemed sure that they would not be attacked anytime soon. In fact, they knew it wouldn't happen until much later.

Longer and longer the days went by and still no sign of the island locals or Vloros. My questioning changed from our situation and position to what was keeping Vloros. None of the crew knew, Dzim of course had assured me he was fine, and Valdis told me nothing. In his words, "No one here can honestly answer that."

Had it been two weeks? Vloros still had not shown up and I began to ask if we were seriously going to remain idle. Of course, in our position, that answer was obvious, but not reassuring me at all. I waited and worried.

Each day that passed had kept me on an edge.

Without taking it into account, I've lost track of how many days it has been. Luckily, we have been granted to consume the perishables. What I didn't understand was why this risk? We are inviting danger here. The longer we wait, more of those villagers would spread the word that we have landed and sit with a train of stolen goods.

To distract myself, in the middle of this fogged and swampy terrain, I survey this defensive position. That plan, with those wagons, still bugs me. To drag them from one end to the other appeared ridiculous, even with animals to tow. It would be better for us all to leave with what we have. If they want to raid more, hit someplace unsuspecting of us and be done with it.

Instead, we sit, wait, a commander who would be the beacon of nobility in this company out and about for an exchange. 'I wonder how the Gutes will feel that their own property is being sold back to them?' Very pissed, I'd imagined.

On the day we do see the swarm of angry Gutes, the swamp was being fitted with other types of fortifications, but ones that could not be easily seen. They were minor, sticks that ran up and out of the murky pools or stuck into the earth. No matter how I looked at it, I had no idea what it was they were hoping to accomplish with this layout.

When they seemed content with sticking sticks in the mud, they cleared our landing by layering logs and leaves and refuse around the entire area. It created a concealed flat on the shallow terrain of muck. It wasn't until I recalled their lack of care for these people, the war with these Swedes, that I realized their intent. This island was very wet, but covering the damp ground with this amount of piled wood may cause a fire. Moisture trapped within would cook. No air will be capable of cooling it before the heat becomes too much for the packed wood to handle.

Was this their purpose for erecting a defense? To set an island on fire, more than this would be required. Much more. I don't see the whole picture, but I may when the Gutes do come for their idea of justice.

Off to another village, one unaware of our company's purpose, Dzim managed to convince them that we meant no harm when visiting. No idea how, but it was a Godsend to have someplace for all of us to bathe. We took to visiting in pairs, sometimes in larger groups, but no more than a handful. In these events, we learned a little of what was going on across the island, but nothing that could be worthwhile. Regularly encountered incidents, such as weather and who was the lord over what village and town.

Weeks later, it was a nightfall, while I slept, that Vloros finally returned.

I had been alerted, woken, by the sound of horses. Fearing an attack, immediately I jumped out of the little cozy nest I made for myself on deck and leaped over the edge our ship to the soaked sands below. Wincing at the impact and thanking the yield beneath my knee, I lifted my wet legs into a crouch, waited and stared out at where the horses were coming from.

Of course, Vloros sat on top of a simple pony, pulling along three others close behind him, smiling. Each pony carried bags of some burden. They sloshed around noisily. My only guess was that he bought fresh water for our journey.

Getting up, I stared at him as he came through the barricade. His brown eyes dart to where I stand and I simply watch in silence.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Passing by me, he hands off the triplets to one of the Liv's and soon dismounts himself for his ride to join the rest. Shaking my head at him, I look away to find and hold a rope to climb back on board.

He wants me to sleep, I'll sleep.

"Kris?" More angrily, I grab at the knot on rope above my head and reach over the side of the ship, pulling my weight easily back up, ignoring him. "Kristine!" That made me turn, laying over the edge with one foot dangling off, looking back at him. Rolling over the edge, I stopped on the other side to greet over and down at Vloros.

"What!?" Shouting, I recalled the deal Tiresias made with me, but I didn't care anymore of this stupid game the Shade played. "WHAT!!?"

Vloros was stunned for a moment, but spoke up. "Ah... Don't move. I'll be up."

I couldn't. He was already climbing up, but I turned to walk away quickly. I didn't know where to go, but anywhere not to meet with him. An unreasonable anger was in me. He went off for weeks and not one word! How was I supposed to know if he lived or not!? All to have fun tricking the locals in buying back their looted goods.

Days, weeks, nearly a month? I had been waiting for too long with these confusing thoughts of him, his people, and even the nightmares of what my fate will become, but mostly of what had happened to him. Nothing was easy for me while he had been away. Now back, with a smug smile like that on his face as if all was well, he'd expect me to greet him openly in welcome!?

"Bastard!" That was a welcome. "BASTARD!!" I swore, without ever looking back at him, I stormed further away from Vloros.

Before he managed to be on board, I stomped down the steps to below the deck and adventured in a dark place, wondering where else I could go. It was a short time, a few seconds, until I heard him come down after and approach behind me. Hissing in a fury, I turned around to face him.

Looking up at me was his signature brown falcon-like hair, slicked back, with those predatory eyes locking with my icy stare. A face that no longer had a smile upon it silently watched me. He walked closer to me and I backed away from.

"Go away!" I choked out my demand as I backed into the walled end. Cornered, he stopped approaching until the two of us were only an arm's length away. He raised a hand slowly up to me.

At first, I jerked away from his desire to lay a hand on me. When his palm followed where I turned from him, I smacked his arm away. His powerful arm came around my waist to hold me, pulled, and hold me still against him so he may try again to touch me. I looked away from him as his hand drew near. One palm, up to my cheek, brushed away what I had not known was streaming down my face. When the realization hit home that I had been crying, I began to sob.

He pulled me down while I remained stiff. I didn't want to be like this. The more I fought, these chaotic emotions in me spilled out. Soon, I couldn't stand. Trembling, I fell to my knees and brought down Vloros with me. Burying my face down upon him, I soaked his clothed shoulder. I can't be like this! If I don't stand up now, I'll lose.

When I tried to lift from him, he reached up and took me behind my fair head to pull me back down. I struggled weakly, only for a moment, and then he directed me to meet him in a kiss. I didn't fight it. This caused me to feel lighter, the burden of my thoughts being taken away, shared with him. It was a relief and that had been the only reason I did not reject his kiss.

The kiss lingered longer and I felt more at ease. Our lips pressed for more, yielding and invading, we both took a share of the comfort we were finding in each other. When we broke the kiss, it felt like the tension I had became nothing. My face felt the most relaxed from displaying how upset I was.

"Kris?"

"... What?"

"Will you tell me that you love me?"

"I don't love you." I saw him smile and shake his head at me. "I don't..."

"Then why do you shed these tears?"

If he wanted me to become upset again, it was working. I began to try and rise from him once more, but he simply pulled me back down to him. He watched and waited before his lips met mine again. Being still, I watched him closely as we kissed.

Between our lips, he requests, "Please," another kiss, "Tell me?"

Turning ever so slightly in our kiss, brushing my lips along the corner of his, I place a softly whispering kiss to his ear, "I don't know." I finally hold him, keeping our cheeks pressed to one another as I continue to whisper, "Love is a strong word and one I don't know or understand. Maybe I do feel love for you, but how do I know? I both despise what you have done in my name, but I worried sick about you. You're arrogant, strict, even reckless. I feel more fear about what would happen to you than what could possibly befall me."

His hand came up to comb through the back of my blonde head, massaging his fingertips through the fine hairs, relaxing the tension while he spoke. "You're a handful, but one I would gladly hold for the rest of my life. If anyone ever touches you, I will make them pay dearly with more than just their lives. As your husband, I promise to protect you and will seek to the ends of this Earth any who tries to break my promise."

A fantasy of my future, when ever that fate of mine comes, pictures Vloros taking the head of all the Norwegians that had tortured and maimed me. New fears settle in the pit of my stomach. What if he failed to stay alive in the process? It was one thing to know I would die, but to endure that and know I'll be responsible for dragging down a man that I... I loved.

"I don't love you... I can't love you." Embracing him, my grip had tightened enough for me to feel his own strengthen in response.

"Kristine," he spoke this name again and my constriction around his figure relaxed. "It is not for me. Say that you love me. It will help you."

Ever so slowly, this coiling tension inside of me was coming to the brink of springing loose. I feared the damage it would cause when it wildly shoots from inside of me. Free from its ever pressing hardship on this matter.

But, it broke apart instead and I felt more at peace than I had ever been in my life when I at last said it. "I do love you." Time between us had gone on without notice. For so long, we held each other until I felt compelled to do something that I should have long ago.

Be a willing wife, so he can devote himself being my husband.

Pulling away only a little from him, slipping my shoulders from the coat I wore, I began to undress. His hands fell from me, to allow an easier disrobing from the waist up. Soon, he was mimicking me and more as we both moved from each other enough to remove the rest of our clothes.

Sitting and then laying back upon the wooden floor, my husband crawled on top of my naked figure until he could reach my lips to press his upon mine once again. Hands, both gentle and rough, roamed and concentrated on my bosom. Like the storm before within me, I felt lighter than ever when the electric tingle sent its charged lightning down through my body with a lively effect.

It had been before the wedding, then the very day of it, and after so long without him, if I did not anchor myself beneath him, I felt I'd go wild from being pent up for so long. When I was ready, I reinforced that anchor. Locking my legs around the back of his, I'd drawn my knees to be behind those powerful thighs of his. Locked further together, I pulled with all my strength into his legs to draw him up to me. 

At once, I felt him enter. That untamed part of me became a bit more at peace that he would always be with me. Embracing him, holding myself to his slow and rhythmic movements, I continued to bless him with as many kisses before our voices spoke a passionate language with our intimate efforts.

Rising in me was the release that I so desperately needed. To lose this frustration and tension for good, I hugged him tightly both outwardly and within, but when my love had finally pushed me over I still felt a trace of that broken pressure still coiling in me. Being fully held and holding onto him, I gave him permission to go at his own pace to bring me back over that thunderous height again. It had happened, but each time was not powerful enough of a spark, a trigger, to feel like an end.

Not until he had joined me. That last moment of his rapid, determined, and true purpose to leave an imprint of his being within me had at last brought myself to a blissful conclusion. I still would not let him go. Despite our act of love-making being delightfully over, I wouldn't release him.

At least, not until I began to cramp by holding him this tightly. Laughing, I did let him go and laid back relaxed. Planting a kiss upon my laughing lips, he slipped beside me. We remained embraced, just not so overly-tight. Snug, warm, and comfortable.

"Kristine, do you trust me?" I thought about that and eventually gave him a nod. "Then know, it was not my intent to use your name like that. We were originally going to be using it once reaching further North at Aland."

"What? Why?"

"It was the deal with your family." This keeps me quiet. I have my disbelief, but I cannot protest right after accepting to trust Vloros. "Your Aunt, entrusting that Aland would be handed over afterwards, wanted to use your connection and status as a Bastard."

"That can't be right. I was told... I'm legitimate." In no way am I a Bastard, but how could I explain that to him...

"Ah," Vloros slides his arm up and lifts his head to rest into an upturned palm. "Your father did bless you, we all saw that, but the act can easily be discredited for puppeteering. He was not coherent when you laid upon his lap."

I understood now, recalling the blurred memory of my drug-induced wedding. My father had loomed over me as I laid upon his legs. Someone had placed me upon his couch and the reasoning had become clear. An audience, to see that I had indeed been the blood of my father, legitimized by his hand, but could easily cut the ties if my family were called out for my actions. It would be an uneasy situation, confusion, for the Swedes to either act upon my family's name being thrown around by a recently legitimized Bastard.

They would see me as an upstart, having become overly proud and reckless with the family name raising my station. While the Swedes are busy dealing with me, all of the Danes and more would have made their surprise move where ever that came from.

"We're bait," it was a statement from my lips. A clear picture as to why we have not left this island, but are prepared to set sail out of the river's mouth whenever possible. That also made sense why the Livs prepared the make-shift fire-traps. If the wood dries, with that trapped moisture within, they could set fire to it and create a massive smoke-screen for our escape.

"I told you before, I am sorry, but I did change the plan for the two of us."

"Why Gotland?"

"Clear the seas between your homeland and mine. Gotland is the strongest outpost, then Aland. If we topple them here, we can set sail for Aland and finish off the last opposition at sea. We then can strike anywhere on the Swedish coast, even you Danes." I could picture that very clearly. If my family became aware of this, they would strike in three directions up north. The one would be towards the western border, securing those Swedes that were fending off the Norwegians, but not engaging them. The second, through the actual country-side towards Uppland.

Last, from the ports at sea to ensure none of the opposition escaped.

"How do you intend on taking the island? Visborg will have far greater host than we... What?" He was smiling at me.

"I didn't just go shopping. Why do you think it took me so long to come back?" This made me think of only one thing and it brought a new flush of anger in me. He had been risking himself to scout the enemy. "Calm down, I did safely return." At his request, I shut my eyes and attempted to cool my temper. His free hand came to lay along my cheek and stroke back to enter the field of my golden hair. "Would you do me the favor and let your hair regrow?"

I whispered a, "Why?" This hot head of mine still required some simmering down.

"A part of you that I found beautiful the first day I saw you. I was upset when you had tore your own hair just to be free from me. Then... Oh, I had been nearly ready to settle with any price your Aunt provided me without you, once I saw you had cut your hair." That had popped my eyes back open to stare at him. "But, when you crashed through the throng of your people in a distraught rage, I saw that it was not just your hair I found beautiful. Also, I found a new direction for my rage when I saw a small example how your family treats you."

Thinking back, he must have been referring to when Dorte had read the letters and discovered my name was Kris, not Hremod anymore. I still had a mark upon my face from her fury. It did make me wonder how her own face may have fared after my brutal episode.

Valdis's voice could be heard calling down, "Vloros! Come up here when you can."

"Of course." Leaning forward, my husband placed a kiss once more upon my lips before he pulled away from our place on the floor and my embrace. "I might be back, but if he wants a full report, I might be until morning."

"Wait, tell me, who's really in charge here."

"Ah, heh, I am, but Valdis knows warfare better than I do. I let him go over my head and make the decisions. When at sea, Dzim. Back home or in the court of a house, me. Three commanders for three fields." Dressing as he speaks, I watch and learn the hierarchy of this Livonian company.

"Let me come with you. I want to know what is going on too." Quickly, I move to slip back on my own clothes. Vloros dressed faster, being that he wore less than I had, and waited for me before we both left together. "Could you tell me when we are expecting them? The Gutes."

"A day or two, but not from Visborg. That place has only enough men to defend. I don't know where their main host has gone, but I fear it may have merged to reinforce the ones pillaging my lands." In the still dark-morning, we come out to be kissed by the chill breeze coming over our ships through the venting river's path. As a pair, we approach Valdis hunched down over an incomplete map of the area. I must have missed him making this or he had it taken from the raided village.

Looking up from the map, "What do you have for me?" Valdis does raise a brow when I stand with Vloros, but doesn't dispute my being present for his meet.

"A Lord of Othem, called Botulf, will be marching with what men have rallied to his banner. It will host all that would resist us, except Visborg. They have been given a higher priority to keep their town secure." Vloros points down at a region of the map and drags it down to where we are located within the river. "Botulf will arrive within a day or two, depending on how the weather fairs. He brings horses and may find his footing unsteady."

"Horses? In this thicket? He must be inexperienced." Valdis rubs his chin and slaps the side of his face before smacking all tips of his fingers on our barricaded line. "We will reinforce the Sink. Have enough men bring buckets and drench the fields."

"That is insane. You will tire them out before there is a battle." I knew there were some strategy I did not fully comprehend, but this was one that I absolutely knew to be a mistake. "Just have them dig a shallow trench. I'm sure if you want the Riders from Othem to find unsteady ground, lead them into one. Not make one."

"How will a shallow trench do that? They will leap over it." Vloros was make this point, but I had one finger pointing out at the fire traps that had been set up.

"Have them jump on those. They might not sink, but if the horses roll a single ankle, they're done." Both commanders look to one another and I took pride in seeing them grin.

"Dzim! Spread the word." I nearly jumped out of my skin when that Creeper of a man showed up around my shoulder to inspect where this trench was being placed.

"Will do," then he was off to shout commands as I settled down.

"Was he there the whole time?" Both Valdis and Vloros shake their heads. I knew they had warned me before, Dzim was Dzim, and I quietly nodded in acceptance of that fact.

"By the way, I've found a juicy detail on my mission. One of the villages had a livestock epidemic and it has been rumored to be spreading." Vloros points out on an unclear section of the unfinished map, "Around here, I suppose."

"What livestock is affected?" Valdis took out a charred marker and dotted the location.

"Pigs, chickens, a goose, and last heard a cow went mad, but I have not confirmed that was related." It really did sound like Vloros had been busy gathering all of this information. What all unimportant details he absorbed before obtaining the interesting ones must have taken awhile. It wasn't like he could ask directly, from being a stranger on an island, what all he wanted to know without raising suspicion.

When I rose to look over the ship's edge at those men on the ground, I saw they had begun to encircle the fire trap. In front of the wagons, I also noted that they had been busy staking the ground with sharpened long poles from what nature could supply. Outward, each pointed spear was prepared to fend off anyone coming.

After a few more details had been included, our meeting ended. With this new information, Valdis, Dzim, and Vloros were all instructing new sets of defenses. I had included myself, not to command anyone or even suggest, only to tell the three commanders of things a man I once knew experienced in the war-torn Byzantium lands.

In the first tales, they had merely listened. Gradually, they paused to hear of more how the Rus had set themselves up to defend against a far larger host while on the run. Without being able to see or know of the coming enemy, they set themselves up to become a wall, and won the day by efficient cooperation as one unit against the rushing mob.

A day or two from now, there will be many men who will not breath in the fresh wind of next Spring. At long last, when the greater host of Gutes thought to take us under the cover of darkness, they struck.

It started with the tremor. I had not felt it on the ship, but I saw the disturbance in the puddles and loose foliage. A shiver ran through me and brought with it a trail of shocking nerves alerting me to stand, be ready. I knew the enemy's first mistake, this attack will initially fail, but it will still send dangerous men to our camps.

Beyond the stir of fog, shapes rapidly appeared to burst into the scene. Shouts, alarming for intimidation, thundering towards us through the only opening we welcomed. Riders, at least a twenty score, charged blind to what we had prepared for them.

Half the Livs dropped down to the wet sands and brought unity upon the stage before the opening. One after another, knelt to a bracing knee, they drove their shields down onto the ground. A rank behind the front shields had rose their own protection to give the first rank shade. Behind the two ranks, men with their arms free of protection, wielded deadly blades in preparation for the Rus-tactic.

Instantly, I ran to grab a shield of my own from the ship's side. Looking back, I saw Vloros prepare his ridiculous ballistic weapon from the safety of this ship. This time, I didn't drop down in one leap. I threw the shield, crawled over to where the rope was, and descended.

Running bent over, I quickly joined the ranks of the Livs on their flank. I had one look from the neighboring shield-er and, for a moment, he tore his eyes from the danger in front of us to those back on the ship. Catching his jaw tensing, I knew he thought that I had thrust the responsibility of protecting me upon him.

I knew what I was doing. I've done this countless times within my circle of Rus brothers.

A shrill noise wrenched my attention away from my neighbor to what was falling before us. The cavalry had emerged on the other side of our trench and toppled in a heap upon the rolling refuse covered on our logs. It took a second for the riders to pull away from the charge, but their own rear abruptly slammed into them. Yelling and screaming, both wounded and trapped, men beneath crippled mounts tried to free themselves through the kicking and flailing hooves that surrounded them.

When a man had finally stood, he flew backwards and staked himself into the belly of a chestnut beast. I knew Vloros had loosed and would be prepared for another shot in a few minutes. It had been so long since I've heard these voices and noises that the fear in me felt brand new. I shook and bumped the side of my shield into my neighbors to steady my hand.

Only a couple of seconds had passed before the rear horses righted themselves and skirted our borders for another entrance. There may have been less than half out of the twenty riders left. It was a good start.

A minute had passed, settling our knees into the damp and cold earth. No other signs of the enemy had appeared and I felt that the men were stirring around me. If they decided to move from this spot, it could be disastrous.

I smacked the shield next to mine, hard. My neighbor turned to me and I nodded to the next man over, smacking his shield again, wordlessly commanding him to pass the message. He jarred the next shield, gestured to the next man, and the following man did the same until they all did. Each distracted from the idle danger.

The longer I stayed still, the more dizzy I became. A stress like I've never experience was trailing up my spine and rumbling past my abdominal front. I couldn't shut my eyes, no matter how tempted I was to turn away and recover. We waited until the enemy came to us.

And they did.

Scores of men, first at a walk, then jog, and finally full charge toward our line. They had to avoid the fallen horses, but they managed. Our lines met and we were pushed back onto our feet two, three, four steps before halting. Entrenched again, a Gute on my flank had ran past me and a second tried. Driving a blade from my off-hand, I stove the man into the puddled soup face first after I sliced through his thigh. No hesitation, we both fought awkwardly from our positions.

It took one of the third ranked men to come up and drag him away from me. A terrible feeling was brewing in me and I turned away. I had to recover quickly or else I would fall from this anxiety before a blade would fell me.

Behind my shield, I became sick and lost my footing. The shield I held came crashing into me, one of the men behind me caught hold and dragged me away from the Gute that knocked me away. To my side, I saw the Livonian who took responsibility of watching over me maim the enemy before I would be ran through.

"GET HER OUT OF THERE!"

Hurried splashing alerted me, I saw Dzim's wild eye and his arms wrapped and lifted to carry me away from the combat. I couldn't hold it in and became sick once more. This stress has never been an issue before, but it felt so vastly different than the years I've spent with the Varangian.

I heard a loud groan, another loud and shrill cry of a beast, and creaking sounds echoing around our cleared surroundings. The wagons had begun to move. Looking over my shoulder, as Dzim pulled me from the conflict, I watched as the Gutes had their line cut off from their host by the wagons pulling in from behind them.

They were trapped and the Livs pressed their shields to back them into those wagons. In a surprise, the other half of Livs opened the windows to cut down the backs of every Gotlander that retreated to this dead-end.

Dzim handed me up to the knotted rope, with Vloros hanging over the edge to reach down for me, and I ascended with both assisting. When I had climbed back on the ship, I noted the end of this battle. From our advantageous view, those Gutes who did not become trapped on our side of the camp had pulled back. The scores that had been standing were now mostly laid flat on their final resting place. Not all were dead, but soon would be finished off.

The silencing had begun and I nearly became sick once more with this atrocity in my sight. Vloros took me aside and had me facing away from their act. I gulped at the air, but it tasted horrible. It was probably because of the traces still lingering in my mouth, but the smell made me think I could taste the death and bloodshed of tonight.

Still so very dizzy, my husband took me aside and sat me down in the cozy spot I made into my deck's nest. He applied a rag to wipe clean my glistening lips. I tried to tell him how sorry I was, for being weak out there and, most importantly, a burden, but nothing came out. The world was tilting, much like it had before once upon another ship.

A fear, the idea I would sleep and wake months or years from now took hold. Reaching out, I gripped a hold of Vloros, pulling him to me, shaking. In my confusion, I didn't want to fall back into that timeless slumber. That Shade had done enough! What more was he after...

"Sshhh, it is alright. For now, it's over." He smoothed the fair hair back, sitting down to pull me into his lap and cradle me, embraced. "It's alright." I saw Valdis approach and Vloros turned on him. "Never again. NEVER AGAIN!"

"Agreed. Not in her condition." Valdis looked over me while I tried to focus on him, but my world was blinking in and out. I gripped more tightly to my husband for support to stay in our world. It became more difficult to remain.

I tried so very hard to remain, but I nodded once and that deep dark shroud closed around my senses...