Chapter 1: A dragon, a troll, and a college student walk into a bar, part 1
So, a dragon, a troll, and a college student walk into a bar, in a world, where there aren't any colleges, or even universities. And, isn't that simply unfair? I was happy when I was back on Earth. Just why did I have to fall down from the plane?
Well, it is not like I was the only one falling. I just hope that the rest are not in this world, or something like that. My final moments were not something I took pride in, after all. All that screaming. Not once did I think about my parents, or, even, my pet rock.
"So, here is the plan," the troll said. He had one of these strange fantasy names. Even though, his name didn't sound like that of a troll. I mean, who names their troll cub Aleri? If I were Aleri, I'd disown my parents. "We go into the dungeon, bag the Lich, and then go out. No funny business, do you both understand? Not like last time!"
Ah, last time. I still remember it fondly. Last time Darius, the dragon shifter, decided to leg it, and set everything ablaze. Fortunately for him, no one found out it was him, and so, there weren't any charges pressed.
Even though most of the forest burned down… and a shit ton of fae with it. But Darius doesn't seem to care. I guess, if the fiery escape hadn't dealt with the fae, he would have.
"Don't look at me. How was I to know that they had a dragon capture rune on the entrance? I was just trying to save your lives," Darius said, and I snorted. Yes, you were trying to save our lives… by nearly killing us. Sure, buddy.
"We are not going to have any such mistakes, anymore, do you both understand? Human, if I feel as if you are using me as a bait, for one of your ice fields, then I will use your balls for target practice," another thing that was uncommon for Aleri, was that he was an archer. And by that, I mean with the war bow, and not anything flimsy either. His arrows could pierce full plate.
Then again, he is a two-meter-high monster, with the temper to boot. Which makes him perfect as bait. Not that I will tell him that, mind you. Ah, the things I do for this team.
"Sure, Aleri, my friend. I won't aim the ice field at you," I tell him, and then look at Darius. "How about we…?"
"Not interested," is my only reply. Darn, the dragon is a tough cookie. I mean, how unfair is it, that this gorgeous creature is gay, but doesn't want me? I tried everything. From gifts, to food. Nothing works. I swear, one of these days, I will tear out my hair in frustration.
"I was going to suggest we go to the item shop at the guild, for a new helmet for Aleri," I say, making a quick save. What I really wanted, was to ask him if he wanted to share the room with me.
"Sure, you were," Darius glared at me, and then turned to Aleri. "We go tomorrow. Now, if you two excuse me, there is this elf who I have been admiring."
With that, Darius stood up, and went to the corner of the inn. I sigh. Aleri pats me on the back, which makes me nearly fall from my seat.
"Just why do you keep on trying, mage? Darius is clearly not interested," Aleri said, and I sigh.
"It is just that, well, what if he is the one?" I asked him, and he snickers at me.
"He is the one only because of the six-pack?" He asks me. I nod energetically.
"And his arms are like boulders," I said, more than a little dreamy. "And those thumbs of his… oh, I think I will call it a night. Need a shower."
"You know, by your definition, I could be the one as well. I have everything Darius has, and then some," Aleri leers at me, and I smile nervously.
Isn't it funny that the human likes the dragon, the dragon likes anyone but him, and the troll likes the human? We are a strange party.
"Come, sit by me, and let us have a couple of drinks," now, don't get me wrong, Aleri is a nice guy. He just has this giant nose on him. So big, covered in pimples. Then again, he is rather young, for a troll.
I suppose I could look past the nose; I mean, I wasn't a swan back when I was covered in pimples.
Ah, those were the days. Falling from the airplane, getting to a brand-new world… only to come just in time, for the feast of the defeating of the demon lord.
With no purpose of me coming along, the locals decided to just ditch me on the side of the road. And that is where I met Aleri and Darius. Equally ditched on the side of the road.
"Look, Aleri, you are a nice guy, but… I would rather not ruin our friendship," I tell the troll, whose eyes narrow at me.
"Yeah, and you have no such reservations towards Darius? Is it because he looks like a human, in this form? I bet, if I could do something about my nose…" he lets his words trail off, and I place a hand on his shoulders.
"I mean, maybe it is for the best, ok, buddy? You would probably split me in half, with that massive schlong of yours," I patted the troll three times on the back, and then get up from my stool.
The bartender gives me a look, and I smile at him. I slide two gold coins over the bar counter, and then salute him.
"Wait, Julius," Aleri says, and then turns towards me. "If I can do something about the nose, would you go out with me?"
Just because I know that a face changer costs an arm and a leg, I smile.
"I don't want you to change, Aleri. Perhaps it is the same with you and me, as it is with me and Darius. Some things are not meant to be," and that leaves bitterness in my mouth. I go up, with a bitter smile on my lips.
Yet, I know, that I would still pant after Darius, even after saying that. Why? For the same reason, why Aleri still pants after me. Things that are never to be, are the sweetest.
