Chapter 8: Happy Meal Grocery, part 1
Dark Lord Villus:
"And thank you for choosing my store. I hope I see you again," the thing I understood about villainy, is that, it never pays. Sure, for a while, you are the big bad. But there is one thing that no one considers. There are hundreds of big bads in Cheroy.
"Oh, thank you, Villus. I hope your cat is better. What was it again? A poisoned rat?" My customer asked. I battled to remember her name. She is a regular. Come on, Villus, you got this.
"Rachel, Billy is fine. I just took him home from the vet last night. He will make a full recovery," which had more to do with me using my mana to kill off the poison in his system, than anything the vet did. But I need to keep my cover.
Who am I? Why, Dark Lord Villus. Or, as the people of the quiet little village of Brier May Flower know me, Villus Flortine. A shopkeeper of the only grocery shop in the village.
"I am glad to hear it, my boy. You seem to love that cat a lot. I still remember when you put him in that cute suit, and had him stay before the shop. It was so heartwarming," Rachel lets out a sigh, which is typical for a kind old granny. I smile at her, and look behind her.
There is a teen waiting in line behind her, but he only has about two to three items, which is a stark contrast to Rachel's full cart. I finish ringing her things, and then she paid and left.
"And thank you for…" I am just about to say my usual spew, when the young man places the two cartons of milk on the counter.
"Do I know you?" I ask, as he just stares at me, not making any moves to get money out of his wallet.
"You will get to know me quite well. I am onto you. I don't know what sort of magics you are using on the villagers, but I am onto you, Dark Lord," he makes the "I see you" sign with his fingers, and then storms off.
Oh, how delightful, the world has another hero. Didn't the most recent demon lord got owned just last week? What is the noisy reincarnator going to do now? Hunt down retired seniors? Well, I have to teach him a lesson then. But first, I must tend to my customers.
"And thank you for choosing my store. I hope I see you again," I say, and then look down at old Albert, who has a couple of cans before him.
Now, I might have been a dark lord, long ago, but I still have a heart, ok? And old Albert doesn't have any children, so, he lives off from his retirement money. Which, is not much.
"Congratulations, Albert, you won the game!" I yell, so that the old senior citizen can hear me. "Two loaves of bread, some chicken legs, and a cartoon of milk!"
"I won? Oh, I won," yes, I do it for the smiles. Besides, one can't expect for Alber to live off of cans, now, can they?
I get from behind the counter, and then go, and take all the things I promised. Just because I am a good guy now, I pile ten chicken legs, and place four chicken breasts in the bag. I just know that Albert will share the food. He is an angel like that.
When I go to the milk, I see that I have run out. Ah, shoot. The hero must have taken the last two cartoons. I hate to disappoint Albert, though. So, I take a bottle with cherry juice, and bring that to the counter.
"So, Albert, sorry there is no milk, but I got this tasty cherry juice to give you instead. Is that ok with you?" I ask the smiling man.
"Good? I love juice. Villus, how come I always win the games? Do you think I should go, and try my hand at the lottery?" I shake my head. No way will I advise a poor man into wasting his money.
"I don't know, Albert. I mean, I hear that the lotteries are rigged. You may win, but they will erase your number, and replace it with the number of their people. How about this? Just because I don't run a rigged game, you can leave something for the orphans in the box next to me, and I will make sure they get it," I say, with a wide smile.
Now, Albert and I have such conversations often, but he never disappoints. He takes one of his cans, and places it in the box with the donations. With a childlike smile, he looks at me. I take out a piece of paper, and use magic to draw something like a lottery ticket nonsense on it. Then, I hand it to Albert.
"Don't forget, you have to show up tomorrow, even if it is only for a bread bun. You never know, maybe, you will win something nice?" I know for a fact that I have a blanket with his name on it. Winter is coming, and I don't want for him to be cold.
Albert and I go far back. He was the first person to greet me, when I made it to Brier May Flower Village. He even spread the word about my shop. In a sense, I owe my peaceful existence to him.
"Oh, I will swing by, don't you worry. I think I will even make some pie, with the sweet corn in one of the cans. You will see, I make the best pies," I nod, not wanting to point out that he didn't buy any flour, or eggs. He will probably forget all about it by the morning.
I hand Albert his bags, and look behind him. There is no one left in the store. Time to relax, and read a little. Then, I will dust the place, sweep the floor, and prepare for closing time. Ah, life is so much nicer to me now, that I stopped with the dark lord nonsense.
