Marilyn woke up long before Alice & Jiji did. While they snuggled, Marilyn did yoga stretches. Such was the benefit of being a morning person.

Her estrogen pills were chased with tea. She was fully dressed. School spirit nail polish and eyeshadow. Blue chucks and yellow socks for tonight’s game.

For once, she didn’t have to take her boxers back from Star’s room. Or her socks. Or her shirts. None of which fit Star anyway.

With Star no longer staying, Marilyn could enjoy her eggs and toast in peace. Then the doorbell rang.

Star may not have been in the building. The landlord still was.

“Morning Miss. Burns!” Marilyn greeted. Knowing full well why she was there, “What brings you-”

The elderly woman flashed a piece of paper, “If Star Hornet doesn’t pay her rent by Monday morning: she will be evicted!”

Marilyn took the notice. Not because she wanted to. But because Burns had it an inch from her nose.

“Look, Miss. Burns, I understand you’re upset. But-”

“No buts! Monday, or she’s out! And don’t even think you’re not on thin ice!”

“What did I do exactly?” Marilyn asked.

“You’re a communist, harboring a known fugitive!”

It took everything in Marilyn’s power not to roll her eyes. Or scoff. Or slap the fake teeth out of Burns’ mouth.

“Let’s dial it back a bit,” Marilyn calmly requested.

“No!”

Regardless, Marilyn made her point, “You have Star’s number. Have you tried contacting her?”

“I shouldn’t have too!” Burns said as if it was obvious. “God you kids are getting stupider every generation.”

Marilyn’s father taught her to be patient. Be kind and try to turn the other cheek. Miss Burns was testing that lesson greatly.

After a deep breath, Marilyn did her best. To not get evicted for assault.

“Ok, legally, I believe you have too. So this eviction warning is,” Marilyn took a longer look at the notice. “Is this printed on the back of a BBQ restaurant pamphlet?”

Burns snatched it back, “No, it isn’t! You need to shut up!”

“I’d appreciate it if you stopped yelling at me,” Marilyn stated.

“I’d appreciate some respect!” Burns yelled.

Alice, fully awake, left no wiggle room in her threat, “If you don’t shut the hell up, I’m reporting you to the California Department of Housing. So either apologize to my friend or piss off.”

Miss Burns took ‘piss off’. Not right away. She explicitly waited for Marilyn to try and say something. Then disrespectfully turned her back.

All the tenants could hear Burns storm down the hall. The closed doors didn’t matter. Every apartment she passed got to hear her opinion on ‘punk kids’ and ‘piercings’.

The pastel punk with piercings gave her little bookworm the biggest hug.

“Thanks Mustang!”

Alice patted Marilyn’s head, “I’d offer to move in, but I don’t want to get arrested for ‘elder abuse’.”

“Jesus. You’re violent.”

“That’s not what your girlfriend said,” Alice joked.

Staying positive, “How was last night?”

In Alice’s sparkling arms was a giant fluffy pink stuffed rabbit. Literally half Alice’s size. It was dressed in Jiji’s genie vest and pants.

Alice had claimed Jiji’s long sleeve hoodie yet again. Her boxers, stolen from Star’s closet, were stolen from Marilyn's drawers. She deduced this revelation when keeping them up cost her a hand.

Alice listed, “I let my magic girlfriend touch my boobs. She made me a stuffed rabbit I have named ‘Carroll’ and then fell asleep on me. I am now going to shower the glitter off. Let me know if the wicked witch of the southwest needs water dunked on her.”

“She just might~!” Marilyn sang. “And give me my boxers back!”

‘Carroll’ was set against the closed bathroom door. Like a tiny guard. That flopped over on the job.

Like a play, one character left as another entered. Jiji Jinn skipped into the kitchen. From the front door. For some reason.

For some other reason, Jiji had gone goth. Striped thigh highs instead of leggings. Alice’s purple top and black shorts, resized to fit. She wore dark eyeshadow and black nail polish. The brightest things on Jiji were the studded belt and back pockets.

“Good morning, Marilyn!” Jiji cheered.

Marilyn couldn’t have asked for a better joke set up.

“Goddamn, Alice really took you to ‘wonderland’ last night?”

Jiji didn’t laugh. She was all smiles. But she just didn’t understand Marilyn’s innuendo.

Marilyn tried again, “Alice went ‘Down the rabbit hole’?”

Jiji gestured to the stuffed animal, “You mean ‘Carroll’?

Bluntly, “Did y'all have sex in my roommates bed?”

“What?! No!” Jiji had her nose up, “I’m not giving up my virginity in a dirty room!”

“I’ll remember that,” Marilyn noted.

“Besides, I got to read to my sweetheart a story with talking horses! And then I got to sleep on her boobs!”

Marilyn high-fived her, “Congrats girlfriend~!”

Dirt and oil got on Marilyn’s hand. Thick enough to tell her it was fresh.

Jiji hid her hands, “Uh, came back up to wash them off. Sorry.”

“Why’re they, like, dirty in the first place?”

Jiji turned the kitchen sink on. Washing away any evidence.

“Oh you know. Saw a car I thought was cool. Got too close.”

Sarcastically, “Did you hug the tires?”

Suddenly, a raging scream hit the air. Its location: the parking lot. Its source: Miss Burns’ gravelly voice.

The words: “MY CAR! MY CAR! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY CAR?!”

Jiji turned the water on max and scrubbed faster.

“Jiji Jinn Barrett,” Marilyn asked slowly and softly, “What did you do?”

Speaking as fast as she scrubbed, “She can’t prove it was me! Nobody knows how easy it is to remove an engine! Anyone could’ve done it!”

Alice, in a shower, could hear Marilyn’s Russian accent take over.

“<YOU REMOVED WHAT?!>”

End