It was a couple of weeks since I came to France, the bastion of civilization, said to be the most beautiful country in the world, and married the heir to the throne Louis-Auguste.

At first, I didn’t want to leave Austria and my family, no it’s better to say I was afraid to leave them, but deep down I knew that this was my fate as my elder brothers and sisters were married off one by one and I knew that sooner or later my time would come and there’s no saying no to my mom, The Holy Empress of Austria and Holy Roman Empire Maria Theresa.

And yet the fated day had come when my mother told me that I will marry Prince of France, she told me I was luckiest and yet I didn’t feel that way…

I was afraid that my fate would be like that of my dearest sister Maria Calorina who married Ferdinand I the King of Sicily and Naples. She wrote letters home and she said that her husband is ugly and that if not being duty-bound she would run away from him, both of them didn’t care for each other and even slept in different rooms.

That same fear and uncertainty filled my heart, will my husband be good, will he be bad? Would he care about me? Would we fall in love?

I didn’t want my marriage to end up like this…

But I obeyed my mother, even if I loved her dearly, in fear of incurring her wrath and I knew that this was my fate as Austrian princess.

Firstly a French teacher was invited to perfect my French, while I could speak it, albeit with a strong German accent, like my father, mother, and anyone in the court spoke French it was easy for me to understand the spoken language, but writing and reading were like hell to me.

My teacher got to work by trying to hide my German accent and then when I was good enough we went to writing where my teacher always chastised me for my slow writing or snail pace as he said, reading was my least favorite task as I was simply bad at it and it fell like torture and I dreaded it every time, I never understood my brother’s Joseph’s fixation with reading he even told me that at least two hours of the day should be set aside for reading.

And coupled with my mother taking an active role in my studies for the two years before marriage meant that I had no way to get out of this, every day I spent perfecting my French, my manners and then I was educated by my mother about martial things and obedience.

Even my appearance was changing by the order of my mother as a French hairdresser was imported to deal with my big forehead and uneven hairline, the hairdresser by the name Sieur Larsenneur was quite funny as he told me jokes about all the French madams and their hair and he was quite skilled as well as soon his style of dressing my hair was being copied by other young ladies in the court.

After the hairdresser then came Joseph Ducreux a French painter who was commissioned to paint my portrait to be sent to France.

When we meet him he was baffled by the size of our family as he even asked which one of my sisters was me, we had a good laugh then from the embarrassed painter.

It took him 8 long sittings to paint my portrait and then immediately it was sent to France while my education continued.

After those two long years, it was finally official as a letter came from France asking for my hand. That was it, I will marry Louis-Auguste dauphin of France, the whole court was ecstatic by the news, and especially my mother saying that “If one is to consider only the greatness of your position, you are the happiest of your sisters and all princesses.”

Yet I didn’t felt that way.

Soon after I formally renounced my right to my family’s domains I married by proxy in Augustinian Church in Vienna with my dear brother Ferdinand standing in place of my future husband.

It was a celebratory day and even I myself found it fun and for one day I completely forgot what awaits me…

After a couple of days, I stood at my carriage with most of my family behind me.

A servant opened the door of the carriage and I was immediately greeted by crimson taffeta curtains, red velvet couch with gold decorations.

I turned back to see my brothers, sisters, and parents standing proud.

Immediately my older sister Maria Carolina, who came here from Naples precisely to say goodbye, went closer and hugged me as we both started to tear up.

I and she were closer than any of the siblings, we were thought under the same tutor, we caused a lot of mischiefs together and funnily enough when one of us got sick the other caught the same disease the other day, it was heartbreaking when mother separated us and then she married.

“Write to me sister Antoine, everything down to the tiniest detail…I love you and I will always be concerned for your well-being, never forget that.”

She said as she broke the contact and smiled at me which I responded with a small smile of my own as tears still rolled down our cheeks.

“I will, sister, no matter how much we will be apart I will always hold you close to my heart.”

She nodded and retreated to my family’s side as other members congratulated me and wished me happiness.

Then came my mother’s turn.

She too had tears in her eyes as she hugged and clasped me again and again.

“Oh, my little Madame Antoinette, how much you have grown…Farewell, my dearest child, a great distance will separate us…Do so much good to the French people that they can say that I have sent them an angel.”

Both of us broke down and wept.

I wanted to stay, talk to them more I had so much to say to them, alas it was my time for me to begin my long road to France, and even when I departed I from time to time looked back through my window back to my family.

It was a grueling journey even when we stopped overnight at the monastery of Melk where my eldest sibling Joseph received us, who wasn’t present at my departing and I was thankful for that as I sobbed for quite a while and seeing my brother helped my spirits greatly and I was happy that my family will be all the way with me.

After parting with my brother it didn’t take long for us to cross the border and once again I burst into tears as she crossed the border of my mother’s dominions, I was frightened that I would never see my dear mother or siblings again.

For the rest of the journey, I was anxious about how I will be greeted in the French court at Versailles…

A week later we were at the palace of Versailles the home of the French Royal family The Bourbons.

It was the biggest palace I ever saw, definitely bigger than The Hofburg palace or Schonbrunn palace which served as our winter residence.

It was a marvel, white marble blocks, golden statues on the roofs, and large beautiful gardens with all kinds of exotic and native plants.

Soon we stopped at the main entrance and the door of my carriage was opened and I was greeted by a grey-haired old man with a gentle smile.

‘’Good afternoon, Your Royal Highness, my name is Adlar I’m the head butler of the palace.”

The elderly gentleman said as he bowed down and greeted me.

He held his arm forward and I took it and stepped out of the carriage.

“Right this way.”

He led me into the palace and into one of the many rooms. (A/N: Fun fact The palace of Versailles has 2300rooms)

“This will be where you will be staying, your luggage is being cared for and your retinue will be sorted out quickly, if there are any questions or needs, please ask any of the servants.”

I just nodded and took the sights of my room, a single queen-size bed a big wardrobe a wooden table and a couple of mirrors, a giant painting just in front of the bed, 3 big windows with red curtains, and a chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

As servants were bringing my luggage and organizing everything I just sat on the bed and watched, knowing that this will be my new home and there’s no escaping that, after all, I have to do my duty to my country and to my mother, at least I will meet the prince tomorrow in the upcoming ball, hopefully, he will not be like sisters Maria’s husband…

“Haa…”

I hate being sad.

…

The Ball begun with me mindlessly walking and interacting with everybody I could.

It was not that different from the balls in Austria, the only difference is that everybody speaks mainly French and a lot of interactions are being dictated by the noble rank, you will rarely see a Baron talking to a Duke, mostly the French nobles gathered in the groups of their peers.

“May I have your attention, please?”

One of the servants shouted and everybody turned to him.

“Presenting His Majesty, the King of France Louis X”

Then the brown double wooden door opened and the King entered into the hall, all of them and I gave a short head bow or a curtsy, greeting the monarch, who just gave a slight smile and then with his escort who was wearing light green Sack-back with some white wave patterns, her small face and brown eyes were heavy with makeup while her brown hair was done into two braids, she was Jeanne Bécu, Comtesse du Barry the official mistress of the King, who was wearing a coat, waistcoat, and breeches with stockings, his coat and breeches were red while his waistcoat was grey with white stockings, he too wore makeup making his face white while his cheeks had some red tint on them.

‘’Lastly, presenting his Royal Highness, The Dauphin of France Louis-Auguste.’’

Hearing those words I immediately looked at the door, soon I will see the one who I will marry.

Soon the door opened and came in the Prince he wore a black coat with a white waistcoat, the coat and the waistcoat of the panoply called habit à la francaise are fully embroidered with golden and silver threads and other multi-colored threads, sequins, and artificial gems. Then he wore black breeches and a pair of white stockings finished with black shoes and unlike the King and a lot of noble males he didn’t wear any makeup.

He walked with his back straight chin up, yet he didn’t pay any heed to the slightly bowing nobles and just went towards the king. I didn’t make anything from this as my father and even mother would do the same from time to time and even my brothers, after all, he is the next king and all of the people here are his future subjects.

Soon enough a servant made his way towards us.

“My lady, the King ask for your presence, if you will, please follow me.”

The servant told me and I nodded and soon I and my retinue followed him towards the king.

Yet as I walked my thoughts were on a constant loop about the prince.

How will he act? What is his temper? What will he think about me? Will he like me? How should I start the conversation?

Soon enough we were there and the servant introduced us, yet I looked at the Prince as his silver eyes looked at me, I felt like he was piercing me, seeing me inside out.

I even got embarrassed by his passionate gaze as he took me in.

“My lady”

The servant took her attention away from the prince and he blushed some more being even more embarrassed by her misconduct.

I steeled myself as I took in a deep breath, the first impression is important after all.

‘’My name is Maria Antonia Josepha Johanna, but you may call me Marie Antoinette, it’s a pleasure to meet you, your Majesty and your Highness’’

I introduced myself with all the finesse I could muster and did a curtsy.

‘’M-Yes, my name is Louis-Auguste the Dauphin of France, it’s my pleasure to meet you, my lady.’’

The prince bowed as he introduced himself and then silence has fallen between us.

I didn’t know what to say and he too looked like he was lost, after all, we seeing each other only today.

It was nerve-wracking, and I just was lost.

‘’Now that you introduced yourselves to each other make me introduce you once again, Louis-Auguste meet Marie Antoinette, your future wife!’’

The King said happily, breaking our silence.

‘’I understand, it’s truly a pleasure to meet such a beautiful lady that will become my wife.’’

The Prince said as those silver orbs stared at me and I blushed and it didn’t help that the ladies behind me were silently snickering.

‘’L-Likewise, your Highness.’’

I said. At least he was a gentleman maybe he will not be bad.

 ‘’Hmm, so you are good for at least something, your wedding will be held in two days, meanwhile don’t embarrass yourself.’’

The king said. I looked at him and at the surprised prince as he muttered.

‘’Excuse me your Majesty, but did you say the wedding will be held in two days?’’

‘’I don’t know why are you surprised so much, you are technically already married, your wedding was held at the Augustinian Church in Vienna, with her brother Archduke Ferdinand acting as your proxy. But that was a marriage for Austrian people, but this one will be for the people of France and the world to see how France and Austria join hands.’’

That was true we had a simple ceremony in Austria, but it was just a formality this one will be the official one.

‘’Well, either way, I have things to do, so you two talk to each other, get to know each other because you will be spending the future days together.’’

The King excused himself and I looked at the prince. I already cried out my tears and resigned for my fate, after all as royalty I don’t have the luxury to choose who I will marry.  At least the first impressions are good and I won’t share the same fate as my sister Maria.

‘’Could I ask for a dance, my lady?’’

The silence was broken as he extended his hand towards me.

 ‘’It would be my pleasure, your Highness.’’

I replied and gave him my hand.

His hands were a bit rugged, well I heard that he liked hunting, my brothers too had more rugged hands so I didn’t pay that any heed.

Then he led me deeper towards the ballroom where a couple of people were seen dancing.

Then he nudged a servant.

‘’Instruct the musicians to play something precisely for a waltz.’’

‘’It will be done, your Highness.’’

The servant quickly left and soon the music changed.

‘’Do you know how to waltz, my lady?’’

He asked me and I nodded, after all, I loved to dance and sing those were my favorite things.

Then he took my left arm into his right hand, while his right hand found my lower back and I put my left hand on his right shoulder.

Then we slowly started our dance.

Soon I lost myself in the dance, yet I looked at my partner and I saw him concentrated his browns were furrowed and he had a bit of his tongue out, just the tip, but it made me smile seeing him like that.  More and more we immersed ourselves into the dance, things like these that I forgot the weight on my shoulders that was put on me, there was nothing else but the music, the floor, and the rhythm of my moves.

Then the music stooped and I looked around all the people clapping. 

I eyed the crowd and smiled, it made me happy that they clapped after all that means that they are recognizing me and my performance then I did a curtsy to the applause.

Soon the Prince led me away from the floor and into a corner where he got something to drink. I could see the sweat on his forehead, he tried really hard and it made my heart race a bit seeing that he tried hard for me.

‘’Thank you, Your Highness, it was really fun!’’

I said to him and smiled, I truly needed this.

Now I don’t think that I will be lost in France, it was not that different from Austria

 ‘’The opinion is mutual, my Lady.’’

He replied with a smile and I blushed a little, it didn’t help that he was my husband, I used to be complimented, but the fact that he is my husband makes it more awkward and embarrassing.

Soon the silence once again settled between us. I just didn’t know what to tell to him, we were just smashed together and left alone; I didn’t want to ruin my image in his eyes by saying something out of line.

‘’So how is Austria?’’

The Prince asked.

‘’Oh… It’s quite beautiful especially our capital Vienna, the people were friendly and I had a lot of friends…’’

I replied a bit sadden, thinking about my family and what are they doing now, are they thinking about me? Are they praying for my success?

‘’It was hard, wasn’t it? I mean leaving everything behind without warning going there where you didn’t expect to go and doing things that you don’t want to do… Just because someone wished it to be so.’’

Yes, it was, but I already dried my eyes and accepted it plus on the bright side my mother promised to write to me.

‘’It is still hard to come to terms with everything, but I’m doing what is expected of me by my beloved mother, plus she made sure that we would keep in contact with the help of letters.’’

I replied.

Then he questioned about my family and I Shared both sad and fun stories, about my elder brother Joseph and mother fighting and the fun times that I had with my sister Charlotte as we caused a lot of mischiefs when we were little.

Yet where I had a good relationship with my family his family was quite cold, at least that what I thought after the brief interactions with the king and him saying nothing much about his brothers and sisters.

I thought that it was sad that he didn’t have a warm relationship with his family, after all the family are the closest people you have.

Then I talked more about my favorite sister Charlotte and her unlucky marriage to Ferdinand IV of Naples and how he wrote back that her husband is really ugly and that she “loves” him only out of duty and obligation.

The Prince asked.

‘’So what about me, do you think me as ugly?’’

I wasn’t prepared for such a question and blushed as he was quite good looking especially those silver eyes of his that really captivated me every time I stared at them.

 ‘’I-I think you look good, your Highness’’      

I blurted out through my embarrassment.

He just smiled brightly.

“Call me Louis, my Lady.”

“T-Then call me, Marie.”

Then we talked about our hobbies and I learned that he was almost like my brother Jospeh as he liked reading and riding, I was afraid of that, I will never ever understand what makes a book interesting, it was more interesting to dance and to sing, share the joy with others, rather than locking up in a room and flipping a book.

As the ball went on we talked some more and I had a positive impression out of him, I even opened up to him more than I intended about my family and life, but somehow I knew I could trust him. That made me really happy that I lucked out unlike my sister Charlotte who had to marry Ferdinand IV of Naples, I married to Louis-Auguste the Dauphin of France.

I was quite in the good mood then and tried dropping some hint that he should invite me to dance.

I made them quite obvious that even a bald man could see them, yet he either dodged it or spun my words around and then left.

I was a bit mad at him, seeing him walking around and talking with people instead of inviting me to dance but then he came back and I smiled.

They all come back later, It was the same with my late father and it seems it will be the same with Louis.

After the ball, the days went on quickly as everyone was preparing for the wedding ceremony between me and Louis.

The ceremony was more tamer than in Austria as we married at Versailles and didn’t travel to Paris.

We married at The Royal Chapel which was white, it had large glass windows and buttresses that were inspired by Gothic architecture. On the roof, you could see countless statues of women, men both warriors and saints, and some mythological creatures, and the roof of the Chapel was of a light blue colour.

But then the wedding party came, a lot of people gathered, the whole party took up 2 floors of The Royal Opera House.

But the most interesting this was the so-called jelly.

Every time I touched it with my spoon it wobbled around and I poked it from all different directions, even using the spoon to pressure the top of the jelly, only for it to spring up right back.

Then I heard laughter from my side and saw Louis staring at me.

‘’I-I…’’

I stammered as our eyes met. I immediately went full red from the embarrassment of getting caught, I had just never seen a desert-like this.

‘’Don’t worry, It’s just I found your actions amusing.’’

He said with a smile.

‘’I’m sorry for such unsightly behavior…but I have never seen this kind of desert’’

I replied, trying to get rid of the embarrassment.

‘’Oh…Really? Well, it’s called jelly and how it’s made…Well, I am not so sure. It’s just water mixed with some fruit juice maybe and kept in a cold place for a couple of hours, even more, to give it solid form.”

He explained and then he thought me how to eat it, the jelly was quite delicious, it almost immediately turned into liquid in my mouth, it was good that I took only a small spoon of it.

Then I introduced them to a desert from Austria called kipferl, which ended up being called a croissant by Louis and made official by the King.

All was going well until the King stoop up.

‘’Thank you all that had gathered today for a historic event that will be forever known in history as the glorious France and Austria who were once enemies now are becoming most trusted allies who will walk shoulder to shoulder in this world from today onward and for years to come, it’s time for this royal pair that brought our two countries together to finally have the bedding ceremony and solidify their union for now and forever”.

As he said those words my eyes widened I immediately knew what awaits me.

As I was led to my room with the bishop blessing the bed and maids helping me undress, I was really nervous my heart raced really fast, it felt like my heart would jump from my chest any minute.

Soon we left alone and I was just fidgeting as Louis looked around my room.

Soon I told him I was ready, but I was not.

My thoughts were racing, will my first time hurt? What will happen to me?

What about my family?

I kept pushing the thought away by reminding myself that this was my duty, it was expected of me.

I kept thinking about my family and how I miss them, about my responsibility about all of this weight, and those emotions just boiled up as I let a small whimper when Louis's hands were gently traveling up my thigs.

Then he stopped and I feared the worse that he hurt me.

I asked him why he didn’t continue and he replied.

“Why I didn’t do it? Well, to be honest, I can relate to you, we don’t know each other that well, after all, we know each other for two days and that is too little time to get a feel of another person, plus you didn’t even have had the time to adapt to France so I thought let’s first get to know each other better, let’s you get properly integrated to French society and who knows maybe our feelings will blossom or maybe they won’t, but I promise to you that I will take care of you and respect you, I will never spite or have a grudge against you. You’re beautiful Marie and I definitely would want to make this work, but first I want to learn about the Marie within not the outer shell of Marie, but the real her within that body, what she likes, dislikes, how she feels about mundane things like the rainy weather or the sun, maybe she likes cooked meat than boiled.’’

I knew that he tried to help me, but his words stung more, I felt weak, fragile and I felt like I failed my family and especially my mother.

‘’But the King and my mother will be angry if we don’t do it, so-‘’

‘’Ohh you mean the evidence of our act?’’

I nodded my head at his question.

 ‘’Do you have anything sharp?”

Then he pierced his finger and I freaked out seeing blood, but he acted calm and just stained the sheets with his blood.

“There now there is proof.”

He said with a smile.

I quickly grabbed him and made him sit on the chair next to the bed as I got a small flask with some salve on it from my drawer and started rubbing it on the spot he had cut.

I gently applied the salve.

Then he asked me why I have it and I told him the truth.

I used to be quite clumsy and so I got hurt a lot so after some time the doctor was mad at me and thought me how to treat small wounds myself so he could focus on things that really required his attention.

I smiled remembering Austria.

Then we went back to bed as we laid there I looked at his back.

He really is kind, doing all this for me, for a girl he knows just a couple of days, not even judging me, not spiting me for not doing my duty, just understanding and helping.

Maybe my mother was right; I truly lucked out among my sisters…

“Louis?”

I called him, but he didn’t reply.

“Thank you.”

I said as I made up my mind to make this relationship work, I will do anything to make him fall for me.

A/N: Never again. This chapter is shit, probs my worse chapter so far.

Btw I’m back and will start writing once again.

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