I was feeling miserable, just miserable… At first I could somehow disregard the things that were happening to me, as the shock of being reborn and becoming a dark elf woman was just too much to comprehend.

Nothing of this felt truly real to me, while also it felt too real at the same time. I mean, I was a man on Earth… and now I am a dark elf girl, who had been raped for the second time in two days, by some Gundabad orc or whatever…

And it fucking hurt… the humiliation, the cruelty… All of this was real, and I think it was time to realize it. This was not some unlucky attempt at a poor joke, a hentai or some half imagined horror story that you keep sharing beside a fire at night.

I am at the complete mercy of these orcs… and they even think that they are actually being mindful towards me…

How do I know that? Well, after this second… time… I kind of broke down into a crying mess… Not proud of it, but that’s what happened. The shame was simply overwhelming, and I, I guess I needed to vent my frustration.

Of course, I wanted to retort, to beat these motherfuckers… but I… I was terrified of dying… I knew it sounded ridiculous, knowing what I know, but I don’t remember how I died at the first time. This I took as a blessing… And I wasn’t eager to remind myself of it. And, even if I die… I will have to go into purgatory for twenty years…

That was simply not something I was willing to do, and I knew it. Behind all the bravado and big words of revenge, I was nothing more than a coward.

My current situation was terrible, it truly was… but it’s… it’s still better than being thrown into a living fire for twenty years. This place, was never meant to be a walk in a park… That thing, whatever it was, God or Devil… I didn’t care anymore… It stated clearly that this will be a punishment for me… and so I will have to bear with it.

That didn’t mean that I wouldn’t feel extremely hurt and sorrowful, though. And because of that I cried… Laying on my stomach, right above the rag, while my pants were still pulled down to my knees, with my panty too...

My pitiful crying seemed to silence the laughter of the orcs… and after a few minutes, they looked away with a sense of discomfort on their features.

The white orc, now clothed again, looked down at me with a confused gaze. He seemingly didn’t understand why I was crying. Even so, crying was a universal sign among humanoid races, and he managed to understand that something was wrong.

He stood there silent, almost squirming in his place. He clearly didn’t know what to do with me. And I was not in the right mind to say anything.

On a sudden whim, he decided to run away in a random direction, and soon disappeared among the trees. The other orcs, have decided to ignore my presence, as if they were little kids, who did something bad, but didn’t know how to face the consequences.

I eventually gathered myself enough to sit up, and began to pull up my underwear, as I did that, I felt it become sticky with the seed of that bastard… and another sob broke out from my throat…

I wasn’t ready for this, being a woman in a world like this… it was both a blessing and a curse… I mean, if I wasn’t a woman, the orcs would have killed me on first sight… most likely…

Therefore, my survival was thanks to the fact that I am a woman… But, I was unable to feel happy about that… Which one was the worst fate, being a toy of animals… or receiving a clean death…

I… I couldn’t decide it.. I didn’t want to die… but this wasn’t something I could handle for long… and if both lead to the same end… it would be better to die a clean death.

I finally managed to pull up my leather pants, and my dispirited gaze unintentionally wandered to the swords placed beside the rag…

Should… should I do it now? It is a way to an end, an escape… that only leads to further damnation… But even the tight embrace of flames seemed to be better than receiving this humiliation one more time…

I should do it, but my arms… my arms didn’t move… I was shaking in place as my knees were pulled up in front of my chest… I hugged them close to myself, while trying to contain my whimpers. I can’t even do this much it seems… I am too scared…

I sat there in self pity and loathing for quite some time now. I didn’t know how long it took, as I was in a half dreamy state. Then I heard a pair of heavy steps approaching me. And I instinctively looked up to see… a handful of wild flowers pushed in front of my face.

My eyes widened in confusion as I blinked rapidly. What was going on? I looked up from the bouquet and for the first time; I saw the person holding them.

It was the white pig… and I… couldn’t understand what he was thinking inside his stupid head… He just raped me for the second time, and now brought me flowers? Is… is he completely retarded… he must be…

From the sheer shock, disbelief and absurdness of the situation, I couldn’t decide to cry even more, or start laughing…

If he is really this stupid… then I am doomed…

Then I heard the words, which seemed to further prove my dire suspicion of his none existent state of emotional intelligence. I mean… I have seen people with severe cases in my previous life, but nothing even seems to get near to this level of barbarism.

‘Noh, take the flowers, and stop crying… I even went out of my way to get them for you!’

I couldn’t help but chuckle as another fat tear rolled out of my red eyes. I reached out and took them from his hand reflexively, as my mind was still too shocked to react on a conscious level.

There was an awkward silence… as the orcs watched me continue crying without the slightest pause.

‘Now what? Calm down already, woman, why are you still crying? Didn’t you want flowers?’

I… I was speechless. When did I even mention flowers? I can’t recall that I ever did something like that…

I shook my head with sudden stubbornness. I wasn’t sure if shaking my head was a sign that orcs would understand, but it seems they did.

‘Then what is wrong with you?’

I gathered the broken pieces of my ego and said to him.

‘You hurt me… and that is why I am crying… isn’t that obvious?’

There was a moment of silence, and the orc said, with a confused expression, which was likely similar to mine, in a way.

‘I didn’t beat you though…’

I felt horrified to my core, hearing this reaction… No, he didn’t, he just raped me for the second fucking time!

‘You… you raped me… sob… again…’

There was a heavy silence, filled with confusion, as the other orcs also seemed to listen into the conversation, and were just as confused as the white one. My frustration seemed to reach another level seeing this… how could this orc be so thick headed… There can’t be such a large cultural difference… or could it be possible?

The white orc answered, feeling somewhat shy all of a sudden…

‘That… it couldn’t be helped. That is how it works! My Da said so, and he was smart, made a lot of children for the tribe.’

Not his Da again! I hope for the bastard’s sake that a lightning will hit him, and he drops dead! Because, if I live to see the day when I meet him, I will cut off his dick and feed him with it!

I heard as the other orcs nodded, listening into the conversation. While showing their agreement on the matter.

I needed to do something… and now. So I gathered myself and said it loud and clear.

‘It is not how it works! This way you just hurt me… and cause me pain… completely unnecessarily. I don’t enjoy it at all…’

There was a sudden uproar among the orcs, and I winced as I got scared… My ears were much more sensitive to sudden and loud noises than they were while I was a human…

I listened to their conversation and was once more stupefied by what I had heard… The uproar was caused by one of my words, and it was not the one I intended for that…

‘She says she doesn’t enjoy sex?’

‘What is she even talking about? Of course she doesn’t? Woman don’t like sex in the first place…’

‘Yes, I never even heard of a woman who enjoyed having sex…’

‘She must be crazy…'

‘No, I heard rumors… that there are a few as such, but I always thought that there were baseless lies…’

‘Yes, that is right! You either have to rape them, or pay for them to be willing! It is how it is!’

‘Yes, I think so too!’

‘Shut up and let her finish what she wants to say! I don’t like this either, but I can’t let my wife cry. What sort of man would I be… ’

The rest of the orcs seemed to nod silently, and they refocused their eyes on me.

At this moment, I was looking at them with a glassy and mystified expression. For the first time since I came to this world. The weight of reality has crashed down on my shoulders in its entirety.

I was hundreds of years, before any sort of sexual revolution went through the world, and I am not sure if Arda even went through such a thing at all… And, apparently orcs think that women hate sex…

I can see where this belief comes from… I mean… they are ugly as fuck… they don’t have any sense of human integrity or emotional intelligence…

No woman would want to be with them, so they probably always thought that women genuinely hated sex in the first place… Which was not true, but since their sexual skill set was basically thrust as hard, and fast as possible… I can see, why would they get that reaction…

I felt my face slowly blush as I looked aside and said silently.

‘If… if you do it gently… and give me time to get ready… it would be good for me too…’

There was a heavy silence, then the white pig said it after some time of hard thinking.

‘Nah… I don’t like this… if I did it gently, how would the child know when to come out and jump into you?’

My eyes turned into saucers as I spluttered in a heap of embarrassment.

‘The… what?’

‘Nah, if you are surprised by even that, how could I trust your words?’

The orcs nodded, silently.

I… can’t let things go back in that direction… I have already come too far… embarrassing myself even further… its seems that is the only way to spare myself from being raped every single day…

‘No… I know of that, of course!… It will work this way too… it, I mean the child will know it… for sure…’

I felt a series of suspicious eyes narrowing on me. Then the white orc said.

‘Explain.’

That word felt like a dagger thrust into my heart. How… how am I supposed to explain this, and to a bunch of retards! But… if I didn't do it… then all of this was for nothing…

A sudden and desperate idea came to my mind.

So I opened my mouth and said… with a serious expression…

‘It… it just works.’

I closed my eyes, while chanting diligently in my mind. Help me Todd Howard, you are my last hope!

There was a moment of silence, then the white orc barked at me.

‘You didn’t explain anything with that! Are you stupid? Give a proper explanation or stop wasting my time!’

The other orcs grunted in agreement.

I was left speechless.

He... he is fucking right… even orcs can see that! What is wrong with Bethesda fanbase? Or is it because my speech level is not high enough?

There was no time to waste, as I shook myself out of my misery. I started brainstorming. How do I explain it in a way for them to understand? I clutched the side of my head with both arms, while slowly lulling myself into an unconscious swinging motion as I sat there.

I began to speak, when I saw them becoming unruly, but I didn’t even figure out what to say yet… and it all ended up in an extremely humiliating explanation.

‘You… I mean… it’s like you want to go into a house… I mean, not you, the child, yes! The child wants to go into a house, but he or she can’t reach the handle of the door just yet… So you need to let the child in… It doesn’t matter if you gently knock on the door, and let the child in, or kick in the door, and throw the kid inside… The result is still the same… but you might damage the door in the pro-process… Ugh…’

With that, I hid my face in my hands and was on the verge of starting to pull out my hair.

My face was as red as a ripe apple… and I was seriously contemplating doing a harakiri right there.

Meanwhile, there was a thoughtful silence around the camp.. Then, to my complete shock, I heard the orcs exclaim loudly.

‘So that’s how it is!’

‘It makes sense!’

'Should have said that at the first time!'

‘Hmm-hmm… Da wasn’t right after all. I can’t wait to tell him how stupid he is… the old fart! Ha!’

‘Chief, your wife is a wise woman, it seems… We must take her back to the tribe safely… You can’t let her bear the title of warrior wife. It’s too risky.’

‘It’s not my place to decide… If she wants to follow me into battle or not, that is how our tradition works!’

‘But you must make a difference this time!’

‘No, I can’t! Enough of this now! Gather your stuff and get ready to move… We have to reach Osgiliath by daylight!’

.

.

.

I… I can’t believe that it worked… but what price did I pay for this? I can understand why no woman took the opportunity to explain it to them… I am going to die in shame…

‘Woman, you gather your stuff too… I will carry some of it, if you are hurt…’

‘U-eh, th-thanks…’

...Maybe... it wasn't all bad... in the end...