I slowly crept forward, my heart pounding in my chest. I kept my eyes on constant alert for any signs of life, and my hands tightly gripped my knife. The orange glow of the butterflies that lit my way was the only source of light in the menacing darkness of the forest.

I have been making my way around the place where the elevator returns to every 30 minutes. Gradually I went further and further away, making the perimeter larger. This is probably not that good of an idea, but the emotion called fear was currently clouding my mind so I couldn't think of anything more productive.

The trees were tall and gnarled, their large branches reaching up toward the sky. Between them hung the orange butterflies, glowing like tiny stars in the night sky. In the darkness, they provided just enough light for me to make out the contours of the plants and wildlife that surrounded me.

The further I walked, the denser and lusher the foliage became. Vines twisted around tree trunks, while flowers bloomed between the gnarled roots, and dark orange moss clung to the rocks beneath my feet. Despite my apprehension, it was a strangely peaceful environment, but I knew better than to lower my guard. I kept being careful.

Everything as described in the book from the orphanage. The first layer was a dark forest with orange butterflies all around. Sadly the book was damaged and only the visual aspect of the first layer was described. No useful information was written.

Currently, I am searching for magical creatures to kill, I need their cores to sell in the market. However, time passes without any luck, and I'm starting to feel tired. Should I risk going further? I can't afford to come back to the surface without gaining money. I only have 30 bronze coins left and I need them to get a place to sleep tonight. I have no choice but to move forward. I have to find a magical creature and collect its cor-

I paused, my breath held tight in my throat. I heard a noise. Every sense was heightened as I listened intently for the sound again, my knife clenched tightly within my grip.

The leaves rustled gently in the gentle breeze, but nothing else moved. My heart pounded hard against my chest, its beat echoing loudly in my ears. Every nerve in my body was tense, ready to react in a split second if needed. I couldn't detect the source of the noise that I'd heard, so taking no chances, I cautiously backed away, not wanting to take any chances in case something was lurking nearby.

However, before I could withdraw. A sharp pain suddenly shot through my left hand, strong enough to make me jump and roll to the side without thinking. When I lifted my head, I saw that there was no danger around me. I slowly looked down at my hand and to my shock and surprise, an enormous orange butterfly, bigger than my head, had landed on what remained of my finger. All that was left were tiny pieces of bone where my index finger should have been.

A wave of intense pain surged through me, radiating from the wound up my arm until I thought I'd collapse. Everything felt upside down, and for a moment, I couldn't tell which way was up or down. Did it inject some type of venom into me?

Desperately, I grabbed the red potion from my bag and drank a little of it. As the throbbing sensation began to subside, I looked at my hand again, the butterfly was now eating my bone. After realizing it was still there, without hesitation, I reached for my knife, put my hand on the floor, and chopped off the rest of my finger. It took a lot of strength. Shortly after, under the effect of the potion the wound slowly closes itself.

When it fell, I steeped on the butterfly with my shoes multiple times until I made sure it was dead.

Immediately after killing it, I started to hear a lot of sounds. My eyes darted back and forth as I searched for more enemies, luckily the little ones didn't seem aggressive. My heart thumped loudly in my chest, and a chill ran down my spine as I tried to figure out where the noises were coming from. But before I could identify the source, I heard a loud flapping sound from behind me. I spun around frantically, only to find a swarm of butterflies the size of my head flying straight toward me.

My pulse raced as I desperately tried to put the vial of potion back into my bag. My hands trembled and a cold sweat broke out on my forehead as the creatures came closer and closer, they were about 30 meters from by position. Swallowing hard, I spun around, only to find an immense swarm of butterflies the size of my head flying straight for me.

Fear seized me as I frantically sprinted away from the mysterious pursuers. Time seemed to both stand still and fly by at that moment as adrenaline coursed through my veins, I pushed myself to run, ignoring the burning pain in my finger.

I threw all caution aside and raced down the winding path through the dense forest. The flapping sound behind me grew louder with each passing second, and I could feel the vibrations of the air in my skin.

After what seemed an eternity of running, I reached a small space between without vegetation. In the middle of the space that seemed to be rejecting nature, a lagoon glowed in a faint orange color.

The swarm of butterflies was right behind me. In desperation, I threw myself to the lagoon.

I could feel the icy water of the lagoon enveloping my body as I dove. Taking a deep breath, I propelled myself further into the depths of the lagoon, only for a giant butterfly to land on my head. Instinctively, I raised a hand to brush it away, however, I felt tremendous pain.

Knowing I had no choice, I reached for my knife and thrust it upwards, stabbing it firmly into the butterfly's body. With a loud snap and sudden release, I felt the butterfly break free from my scalp and drift off into the depths of the ocean.

At some point, while I was submerged in the waters, they stopped following me, and instead, they waited on the surface... The air started lacking and my body demanded me to breathe. My head hurts like never before.

What do I do now....? They are waiting for me.....I'm going to die...?....What would happen to me....?

I'm scared...Everything scares me, this world scares me. I just wanted to -go to the bottom- live. I just want to stop having these emotions control me.

I don't want to feel pain. I don't want to die.

Every time. When I got beaten down, the perpetual nights without sleeping to study, the feeling of hunger, seeing my food got stolen day after day, the anger that overtook me whenever someone called me a 'dirty beggar', not being able to talk to others due to my fear of them.

I hate it, these feelings... Everything must provoke emotions. They want me to act. They want me to kill everyone and destroy everything. But that's isn't what I want to do, I want to -go to the abyss- live. Live like before, when I didn't feel anything.

Why do I have to feel lonely if I don't want to talk to anyone?

Why do I have to feel scared of death if it might be the key to having these emotions to disappear?

Why do I have to feel? I don't understand it... Who made me this way? Who or what was it?

Was it 'it'? That incomprehensible thing. The one I was with before this hell started... Why...? Why cast me away...? Why me? Why....?....It was the source of me and the reality where my presence unfolded. Its power felt limitless and its form was unknowable, an illogical being, something that cannot be described nor understood. It was untouchable and incomprehensible.

I was with it, I existed with it. But I no longer do, I was cast away...

The room was void........... Not white or black.........It was colorless..........I was there, with it.........

I was with it...... I existed with it.......But I no longer do........I was cast away.......

---------

Fear was a standard feeling in my life. I had tried to suppress it numerous times, but fear always had no problem discoving a path back in. It cast a long shadow over me, tainting every experience, and blurring the boundaries between those that separated other emotions from me. Fear was the entrance that permitted other emotions to penetrate my being.

I felt tired, so tired of this feeling. I wanted to be free from the never-ending cycle of emotion, to escape from the prison of thought and feeling that kept me captive. I wanted to return home, to a place where sensations didn't exist, and emotions were non-existent.

I attempted so many times to culminate my being, not wanting to let the parasites command me. And yet here I was, sitting in a cave hiding from the dead. If I went out, everything will be over.

No fear to make me afraid. No mind to think. No body to feel.

If I stayed there, in the forest, and let the butterflies from before eat me. Then, I won't have anything to fear anymore, nor any loneliness or pain.

Fear was the emotion that hunted me the most, followed in second place by loneliness. I used to feel alone, and for some unknown reason, I feel alone right now too.

It's not like I was always isolated. I used to have what was called a 'friend', at least she called herself that. Just like me, she was a fifteen-year-old. Her right eye was lacking, she had blonde short hair and a blue pupil.

She always came to talk with me at the orphanage, our conversations were one-sided. I was capable of speaking, at least with enough training, but I didn't want to communicate with other individuals. I think that maybe I was scared. Weirdly enough, I don't mind holding eye contact with others or doing something that might provoke them.

At first, I didn't talk because I was scared, but now, I'm not sure. I am still scared of other people, but not talking isn't a consequence of my current fear. It was just too hard to talk at some point. I tried to make sounds long ago, but my throat hurt too much so I gave up.

The girl knew I could talk if I tried hard, and used to call me 'timid', which provoked an annoying emotion, I didn't like it. I don't think I'm timid, my personality does not quite match someone timid.

She provoked feelings in me, with her commentaries and her laughs. Emotions I never felt were appearing.

Due to fear of emotions controlling me more than they already do, I started avoiding her. But she kept always reaching out to me. Just like me, she didn't talk to anyone, but contrary to me she wanted to be with someone.

When I looked at her in the distance, I could see myself in her. She was unemotional with other people, always trying to disappear into the background, and always keeping her emotion in check just for the sake of surviving, just like me.

Yet, when she was with me she was all laughs. Her smile was like a ray of sunshine in an otherwise grey sky. I watched as she laughed with abandon, and I couldn't help but be confused. I didn't understand, everyone accepted their emotions, and they let them take control of them. Was it that good? Should I do the same?

Whenever I looked at her, I felt a pang in my heart. She was like me in a lot of ways, yet she accepted every emotion, and not only that, but she claimed herself to be free.

Was it true, was she free? I want to understand her... If she was still alive I would have asked her.

When she was killed and chopped to pieces on the streets by the local gang, I should have intervened. Even if I had died there, it would have been better than having to live and suffer having these feelings.

I wanted to understand her...

Why did I even survive... I remember drowning on the lagoon. Why I'm alive... Where I am right now?