4dsplat

Content warning: Homophobia/transphobia

Katie let her parents know that she wanted to make things public.

9 Jan 2022:
Yesterday I met with my parents at their home for lunch. I showed them my updated birth certificate in my new name (Katie) and gender. I let them know that at this point I consider it public, and explained that we should let the extended family know. I further explained that if we don’t let the extended family know, then chances are that they will find out eventually, but not in a good way, e.g. they see me wearing a skirt or hear about it through gossip.

I feel a little bad about pressuring my parents like that, essentially an implicit threat that if they don’t explain it to the extended family then the extended family will find out in a shocking manner by the way I act. But it has to be done, and the threat is real and not something I could make go away even if I wanted it to. I’m kind of glad that my Mum and Dad will tell the extended family, as it is not something I want to do myself. But I will not hesitate to do so myself if that is what it takes.

Katie's parents figured out that she may not be exactly straight (at least according to their definition). Katie decided not to mention anything about her one-night-stand with a guy last year.

26 Feb 2022:
I met my parents again. They expressed concerns about what would happen if I got a partner. Dating a male is gay, dating a female is wanting to be gay, dating a trans male is still not okay. The only thing they will accept is for me to detransition then date a (cis) female. They say that I’ll always be welcome, but warned that the extended family (on Dad’s side) may not accept my partner.

People started using she/her pronouns at work.

26 June 2022:
Today my coworker used she/her pronouns when introducing me to the new student interns. It made me feel so happy.

But those that didn't know Katie assumed masculine pronouns, which made her upset at times.

27 June 2022:
Almost cried when ordering at Subway today (I thought I heard one of the staff call me 'sir' again, but I wasn't sure). I left in a hurry (only had veggie patty and tomato on my sub, no other ingredients or sauce) because I was worried I was going to have a breakdown if I didn’t get out of there.

Although one day, a complete stranger assumed correctly.

5 Nov 2022:
I went to a bra fitting. The bra fitting service is via a door within a shoe store. I opened the door and some kids came through (to get fitted for shoes). A man who was presumably the kids’ father told the kids to "let the lady past". I was gendered correctly! (I think this is the first time it’s happened in public without someone being explicitly told). On the other hand, it was a shoe/bra store (so higher prior likelihood that someone would be female) and he was mainly seeing me from the back.

Katie started using women’s restrooms.

29 Dec 2022:
I used the women’s restrooms today!

Up until today, I’ve been afraid to use the women’s restroom (I’ve used it after hours on the weekend at work before, but never when there were people there). For the past year or so, I’ve also been avoiding the men’s (although sometimes use it if desperate) and feel like it’s unfair to use the toilet for people with disabilities (although feel fine using the disabled/unisex toilet at work as no one on my floor has disabilities). The consequence is it limits how long I can stay out and means I avoid drinking anything.

Today, I went shopping for swimwear. I knew that I might need to use the bathroom, so I deliberately dressed feminine (white crop top + black tennis skirt) before I left home. My first attempt, I chickened out before the entrance and just passed by. My second attempt I kinda followed another woman in. I used it again afterwards to wash my hands, and a woman seemed to be looking at me when entering (I assume she clocked me as trans), but it was fine. My biggest fear was that perhaps a young girl would notice and start screaming ‘boy’ or something, but nothing like that happened. It was fine. I’m so happy! This will make my life so much easier.

While Katie's life was still far from perfect, she was looking forward to the next year now that she had finally hatched out of her egg.