“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome and heartfelt thanks for gathering here in Konohagakure for the Chunin Selection Examination!” The Hokage announces from his seat in the VIP box next to the ‘Kazekage.’

The Finals take place in an open-air stadium packed with people. It actually seems more crowded than I remember from the anime. The arena is naturalistic with dirt floors and a few small trees growing around the edges.

Seven Genin stand in a line. Naruto, Tenten, Ino, Shikamaru, Neji, Gaara, and me. Sasuke is nowhere to be seen, late as expected.

“Listen up all of you,” The proctor says. “This is the last exam.” Bla, bla, bla. No rules, just right. Surrender or die.

I’m too focused on how badass we look to listen. Tenten, Ino, and I have all come wearing heavy black hooded cloaks. Additionally, I have my signature fake insect gourd.

“Match One, Uzumaki Naruto and Tenten.”

They stay while the rest of us go watch the match from the balcony above. I’m not surprised, having seen the matchups posted at the end of the preliminaries. These fights may rhyme with their anime counterparts, but they’ll certainly be a sight to see!

“Begin!”

Naruto immediately summons two shadow clones and charges. At the same time, Tenten’s black cloak flickers as she throws four kunai. The shadow clones each block one kunai, then pop as a second projectile pierces their chests.

“How are you throwing so many kunai, dattebayo?”

“There has to be a trick to it,” Shikamaru mumbles from his place in the waiting booth. “Or else, why the cloak?” Yeah, Tenten is not a fan of the cloak. Me neither, honestly, but it’s necessary for now.

Tenten doesn’t answer her opponent. Instead, she uses her Ice Release, summoning four Crystal Ice Mirrors to surround Naruto. She steps into the mirror behind her to populate each surface with her image.

“Unfortunately, four mirrors are my limit!” the Tenten mirror images say in unison.

The crowd goes wild as the people who came here to see the resurrection of the Ice Release begin speculating. Nobody rates Naruto’s chances of victory very high against that cursed bloodline.

“I’m getting déjà vu…” Naruto says while eyeing the Tenten reflections. He shakes his head to clear it and summons four more shadow clones. “I’m not the same as I was then! All I have to do is cover each mirror and there’s no way you can attack me without exposing yourself!”

His clones dash in the cardinal directions to stand before each mirror with a kunai in hand. The Konoha shinobi all complement Naruto’s use of the advanced Shadow Clone jutsu.

I explained to Tenten before the battle she doesn’t need to win here. Sure, don’t hold back, but her instructions are to hold certain trump cards in reserve. That being said, the real task at hand is challenging Naruto. Periodic tests of his skill forcing him to improvise are essential to his development as a ninja.

I may be aiming to control the narrative, but he’s still the protagonist!

A fifth Ice Mirror appears on the ground behind Naruto. Tenten expanded her maximum number of mirrors! The cloaked kunoichi rises from the mirror with a familiar hand seal.

“One Thousand Years of Pleasure!”

“Kya~!”

““Kya?”” the audience says as Naruto leaps a dozen vertical feet in the air while clutching his butt and lewdly rubbing his legs together before popping into a puff of smoke. Of course, Naruto wouldn’t leave his real body in the obvious spot hiding behind his clones.

“She copied my technique!!!” Kakashi exclaims.

Guy gasps in shock. “Did Tenten-chan awaken the Sharingan as well???”

Shikamaru facepalms. “Somebody slap those two…” Then he shouts down into the arena, “Naruto-kun, she already lied about how many mirrors she has while fighting Temari-chan! Don’t fall for her old tricks!”

When the shadow clone popped, his memories transferred to all the existing Naruto’s. They each clutch their asses in sympathy and say, “Hey, only Sasuke-kun is allowed to touch me there, dattebayo!”

““…”” The audience is a little flustered.

Tenten takes this chance to rapidly travel through the mirrors and pop shadow clones until she finds the real Naruto. Then her black cloak billows as she uses it to obscure her movements. The audience hears a rapid series of impacts before Naruto is thrown onto his back and rolls to a stop.

Naruto stands and shakes off the discombobulation before resuming his fighting stance. He makes the hand sign for shadow clones… and nothing happens.

“Eh? Why can’t I use any chakra???”

“Impossible!” Neji shouts from the sidelines, “Only the Gentle Fist is capable of blocking tenketsu!”

I chuckle as I see my plan executed on a public stage. I’m a little proud of what I came up with to make my women stronger while protecting them from the dangers of invasive insectoid implants. I’d happily reveal the secret to everyone, but I need to be patient for a few more minutes. No sense in revealing it while my true target is watching.

Tenten shrugs. “Yeah, it’s a real mystery. You done with the fight, Naruto-kun, or are we going hand-to-hand?”

Naruto clutches his hands tight in the tiger seal and focuses intently. “I can’t lose this time! I have so much further to go to reach the person I have my eye on!”

Powerful chakra exudes from Naruto as he calls upon the Nine Tails. His wounds heal and a fearsome aura surrounds him. Countless audience members stare in awe. The aura condenses around him, allowing Naruto to move frighteningly fast.

He dodges all Tenten’s kunai this time as he leaps onto the arena wall, to a tree, to the ground behind her while leaving spiderweb cracks on each surface. Tenten dodges a punch that splinters the earth while withdrawing a scroll to defend herself.

Naruto punches the scroll at the same moment she performs a mass summoning.

An explosion of dust and smoke obscures the scene. Shrapnel and weapons of all descriptions fly in every direction.

The smoke clears to reveal Naruto lying in a crater with Tenten nowhere to be seen until she rises from an ice mirror on the ground. It appears she took shelter inside at the last moment. As she surveys Naruto’s crumpled form, she breathes a sigh of relief.

Just as the proctor opens his mouth to call the match, Naruto bursts from the ground and shatters the mirror to deliver an uppercut.

Tenten is thrown back to land in a heap as the Naruto in the crater bursts into a puff of smoke. Her black cloak rustles before settling. She rises to her elbows and spits a mouthful of blood. Eyes his fingers, bloody from digging, she grins and says, “Damn, you’ve come a long way. I doubt you’ll have trouble catching a certain black-haired ninja’s attention. I surrender.”

“Y-you really think so, dattebayo?” Naruto blushes bright red.

“The winner is Uzumaki Naruto!”