Chapter 47
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“Are you doing…all right this morning?”
“Good morning, Huehue. How did you sleep?” I look at Huehue as she enters the room. She has been known to sleep in different areas of the room from time to time. She wakes early on most days and spends her time brushing her hair and fur. I’m sure she is aware that I have awakened in time to see her do just that. She most likely went outside to greet the morning light. Her olfactory sense allowed her to get an idea of what was occurring in the world around her. She mentioned the smells of the daybreak. They are different from the odors of the early morning hours.
“I’m well…”
I smile and return to my drawing. Well, my poor attempt at drawing. The charcoal on paper looks more like the attempts of a 3-year-old child drawing for the first time. I throw the charcoal to the floor and crumble the paper. I am easily frustrated this morning. But it's not due to my artistic endeavors.
“…actually I am not well. I am worried. Stressed, really. I never stress or even worry. I guess there is a first time for everything. I’m worried about you. Well, it's not that you stress me, or worry me. But I do have you on my mind. I mean. Something like that.”
“I’m afraid I’m a little lost. What are you talking about?”
“I can’t help thinking about your interaction with Lavina the other day. And today, well, I have that banquet I am forced to go to. I don’t want to but…”
“The problems with Lavina are barely floating to the surface, after all these years. Do not worry about it. She must have a lot on her shoulders and is just lashing out at me. And about the banquet...I want you to go.”
“Why?” Huehue’s fur trembles all the way down her tail.
“Because…well because you deserve to have a good time. Happiness even. To enjoy some music and dance.”
“Even at the expense of the enemy?”
“What could actually be better? The Comandante likes you. He will most likely gloat and provide details on his future plans. You are there to hear it and we can act upon it soon after the banquet is over.” I try to put a positive spin on things, though I don’t want to think of anyone holding Huehue’s hands. I feel guilty for being jealous and possessive. I am nowhere near her level. Not before, definitely not now.
“Are you not afraid of the Comandante laying his filthy hands on me?” Our time together linked via the mirror has given her an insight into my thoughts and feelings.
“Huehue…I don’t like to think about that kind of thing.”
“Why? Are you jealous?” She can be very blunt.
“Am I jealous that I will never be able to hold hands with my love? Am I jealous that I can never dance again with the one I love? Am I jealous that my appearance and disability will keep me tied close to my bed?” I look at my paper and pencils with disgust. I’m sure that I carried the same frustration through my voice and facial expression. At least she can’t see my face.
“I…wasn’t referring to those things.”
“Those things make life complicated, Huehue. My life.”
We remain silent for several minutes. She stands there, anticipating something more from me. I’m so angry that I refuse to talk to her. Finally, she breaks the silence.
“Actually, I need your help."
I want to refuse to speak but I just can’t help myself.
“With what?”
“I, don’t know how to dance.”
“Whatever.” I place my only hand to my face. I rub the bridge of my nose while closing my eyes. I wish there was a way to make my headaches go away.
“I don’t."
“I thought you were the god of tricks, festivities, and dance.”
I don’t look in her direction and continue my doodling.
“Of course I am. But my dancing was improvised…and alone. I don’t know how to dance with a partner. I don’t know how to dance like a human.
“Look at me Huehue.”
“You know very well I can’t.”
I ignore her response and continue.
“My disability will make things very hard.”
“I don’t care. What does that have to do with anything?”
“I don’t think I can remember.”
“Anything will help,” she persists.
“I don’t want to embarrass myself.”
I turn to leave the room.
“Alvaro, please. Help me. I will not laugh or make fun of you. I understand that you don’t want to but I really want to learn from you. And no one else. This is something special to me. And I want to make sure I experience it with someone I trust and I…”
I give up and I walk towards her. I instruct her on the waltz. I place her hands in the correct position. I distance our bodies and instruct her on the box step. Before long we are waltzing around the room. I look at her face and stare into her golden eyes. She stares in my direction without blinking. She smiles the most radiant smile I have ever seen. She actually looks like she is enjoying herself. It makes me feel like a horrible person to be kind of happy that she can’t stare into my disfigured face.
“Papi?”
I stumble a bit at Milagros's sudden entrance.
“I’ll be right back."
“Alvaro! What is that?”
Music permeates through the room.
“That’s a trio. Three musicians are playing a proper waltz for us”. I stop and turn toward my little girl. “Is this your idea, Milagros?”
“Yes. And Elena’s. She is standing by the door. She paid for a bit of music as long as you promised her a dance.”
I look over at the door and find Elena clutching her hands by her heart.
“As long as the room remains dim…”. I want to dance badly but I don’t want to get ahead of myself. I’m ugly and my body doesn’t move as I always want to.
The next few minutes are wonderful. I forget about my disabilities, and the girls laugh and dance with joy. We each take turns instructing Huehue how to dance correctly. Milagros even steps out of the room to return with a gift we chose together some time ago.
“What is this?” Huehue holds the item between her hands.
“It is my mother’s wedding dress. I never saw her wear it. Papi says she was a good seamstress.”
Milagros is correct. She made it herself, Huehue. I can’t afford anything so it's the next best thing to provide you with for the banquet. Please try it on. Rocio made a few alterations but we think it will fit.
Huehue proceeds to dress in front of us.
“Papi, turn around!”
We know that you can mimic things, faces, bodies, and even clothes. We felt that wearing the actual dress would give you a different feel…
“I love this! It feels so warm. I don’t know how to describe it. How do I look?”
I turn to see the radiant demigod.
“Beautiful. It fits you. I think you are ready.”
“Thank you to everyone. Thank you, Alvaro.”
I have never felt so happy since…a long time. If only this moment could last forever.
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