The heavy rain washed everything away, much to the chicken’s delight. Precious grubs became easy pickings near the clear cool water gushing down the stream behind Charlie’s house. The chickens, incessantly clucking, ran around the yard pecking at bugs and each other….pure happiness, not just for the chickens.

Lightbulb was giddy right along with them. Sniffing rotting logs, digging next to moss-covered trees and running circles around the hens. After the harsh winter, spring storms were a welcome change for animal and human alike. Charlie finished work for the day, then stacked wood while the animals frolicked. He couldn’t help but smile.

The late afternoon sun sparkled down reflecting on the glassy surfaces of the remaining rain dripping from the budded branches. The heady smell of nature energized the soul. Charlie put his face up to the sun, his arms full of chopped wood. Perfect. Could this moment be any more perfect?

Ki.

He hadn’t heard from him in almost a day.

Charlie felt a twinge in his stomach. A dull ache. Not uncomfortable, but this feeling appeared whenever he thought of his neighbor.

Unloading his arms, Charlie heard a delivery truck. Lightbulb made a beeline towards the vehicle, barking along the way.

The delivery person looked warily at the happy canine.

“He doesn’t bite.” Charlie’s voice was barely a whisper, but the man must have understood because he gave a hesitant nod.

“I couldn’t get up your neighbor’s driveway…”

“Don’t worry. No one else can either.” Charlie signed and took the small package.

The driver took another hesitant look at the dog and drove away.

Hunching down, Charlie stroked the goofy mutt licking his hands, returning his own goofy dog-like grin.

“That’s right. Who couldn’t love such a beautiful dog?”

The dog did not seem to mind his gravelly voice.

Charlie:          Another package delivered for you here.

Next Door:     LOL Worked from home today to avoid the stupid driveway.

Charlie:          You can pick it up anytime. Don’t you want Lightbulb back?

Next Door:     Next weekend’s the last of the holiday. I’ll be with my mother again.

Charlie:          Oh.

Next Door:     Is 灯泡 behaving?

Charlie:          What is that?

Next Door:     The characters? It reads Deng Pao or lightbulb.

Charlie:          Do you read and write Mandarin?

Next Door:     Yep.

Charlie:          Impressive.

Next Door:     Impressive enough to make me chilaquiles?

Charlie squeezed the phone and took a deep breath.

Charlie:          Yes.

Next Door:     REALLY!! <celebration.jpg>

Charlie:          ….

Next Door:     Too desperate sounding?

Charlie:          Maybe. Come over tonight and pick up your package. I’ll feed you.

Next Door:     6pm okay?

Charlie:          Yes

 

That one affirmative had Ki dancing around the living room like a loon. By the time he calmed down, he was sweaty, out of breath, and in desperate need of some water. While he gulped down the icy stuff, he felt the vibration of his phone.

“Hey mama.” Ki felt a rivulet of sweat roll down his temple.

“Erkin. How is my son?”

“Fine. Mama. I just left you yesterday. You can’t be missing me already.”

“Don’t be silly. Auntie Zhang down the street just introduced me to her niece. She’s a nice girl, a lawyer just like you. I think you knew each other as children.”

“Mother.” Ki’s tone was full of warning.

“Auntie down the street says she’s too smart for just any male. I couldn’t help but think of my son. Ivy league graduate, accomplished lawyer…..” Her voice was full of hope.

“Mother. We’ve been through this a million times. Stop with the blind dates. I’m not interested.”

“Who knows? Maybe if you met the right woman….”

“Mother, I’m gay. I have been my entire life. When are you going to accept me as I am?”

“Don’t say that. You don’t know that. God doesn’t…..”

“If you believe that God creates all lives, then you need to accept that there is a significant percentage of these lives that are not cis-gendered, not heterosexual.”

“There you go, using those words again. Do you hate your mother that much?”

Rubbing his forehead, Ki responded. “We’ve had this conversation a million times, mom. I’m not interested in your blind dates. I’m not marrying any of the pleasant, educated, beautiful, elder-respecting women you met through your church friends.”

“It’s just that you haven’t met the RIGHT woman.”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Mother, you are an intelligent woman. You know deep down in your heart, it’s not about meeting the right woman. Why bother spouting such nonsense?”

Ki heard mumbling in his mother’s native dialect.

“Mama, remember dad and I learned every language you speak. I understand everything you’re saying.”

“Pei.” His mother made a spitting sound. “Good. You need to know when you’ve broken your mother’s heart. What did I do to deserve this? I left my homeland barely alive, grasping onto my heritage with my last breath, only to lose it with the next generation. Your dead grandparents are looking down on me in despair.”

“I never rejected your heritage, mother. I will gladly pass on what I know to the next generation.”

“What next generation? If you’re only interested in men, there won’t be any babies.”

“Oh please. I can have babies. What about adoption, surrogacy…..good grief? These days, I don’t even need to be married to provide you with grandchildren.”

“Pei. Pei. Why do you say such things to hurt your mother?”

Ki pondered the cleanliness of her phone with all the spitting.

“This won’t do. Why can’t you try again? Why won’t you at least agree to meet this woman? A filial son would do this for his mother.”

Less than an hour after hanging up with his mother, he was well on his way to a perfect state of inebriation. He started with a glass of wine……in hopes to find some serenity. Then added an enormous package of Cool Ranch Doritos. The satisfying crunch drown out his mother’s words banging around his brain like a sledgehammer.

You aren’t a filial son.

You don’t love your mother.

Why did it feel like his mother’s love was so……conditional?

Self-medicating didn’t stop the pain.

The ranchero sauce was simmering on the stove. The air was redolent with fruity roasted peppers and mysterious spice. Charlie used his Abduelita’s recipe…..lots of ancho chiles.

She used to say, “The secret is a pinch of sugar, Carlito. A little sweetness signaled the sauce was made with love.”

Charlie felt almost joyful as he swirled in a little brown sugar, secretly wondering if Ki would taste the sweet. Shadows darkened the kitchen, forcing him to turn on the lights. Night was descending like a wet towel.

Where was his neighbor?

It was after the agreed upon time.

Charlie:          Are you still coming?

Rather than a text, Charlie received a voice reply.

“Hey cutie.” The voice somewhat slurred. “S-s-s-s-s-stuck. Ouch! Damn branch. S-s-s-s-stuck at the wall.”

Grabbing his jacket, Charlie motioned to Lightbulb. The two sprinted out of the house, running towards the old rock wall separating the two properties. Ki’s house was at least a quarter of a mile back from his own home.

It didn’t take him long to find the lump. Charlie’s heart stopped when he saw the other man sitting on the low rock wall, slumped over as if he were asleep.

“Ki!” He couldn’t suppress a cry of alarm at the same time, Lightbulb licked Ki’s fingers.

Gradually, the other man’s head raised.

“Jus-s-s-s-s-s-t Cute. Aiya.” Ki held up both of his arms.

Confused by the powerful sense of relief he felt at that moment, Charlie ran towards the other man.

Daylight had long since moved to the other side of the world. Charlie could barely make out his face as he neared. Even more surprising, he smelled him. The stink was overwhelming.

“Are you drunk?”

Waving his arms, “Aiya, s-s-s-s-s-so what.” When Charlie stayed frozen on the spot, Ki dropped his arms and patted the dog…….on the nose, on his eyes, pretty much anywhere than where one should pat a dog. “Deng Pao. Deng Pao. I really wish-sh-sh-sh-sh you were truly a Deng Pao.”

“Come on. It’s no use sitting here. Let’s go back and get you sober.”

“Can’t move.” Ki clasped Charlie’s hand and gave a jerk. “Foot hurts.”

Stumbling, Charlie fell into Ki’s arms. His eyes watered from the strong alcohol stench.

“Can you let me go? I can’t breathe.” Charlie tried to push his way out of Ki’s arms that strangely multiplied. It was like being tethered to an octopus.

Running his fingers through Charlie’s hair, “Nic-c-c-c-c-e. Your hair is so soft.”

Charlie was able to prop his chin on one of Ki’s broad shoulders, inhaling deep gulps of clean fresh air.

“Let go.” Charlie made a mental note to resume strength training as he shoved the rock-hard chest in front of him.

“Why do you keep rejecting me? Am I that distasteful?”

Warm breath feathered along Charlie’s neck……and felt rather nice.

“Charlie-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e.”

Now his neck was being nuzzled……..and THAT felt even better.

“What?” Charlie ceased struggling.

“Why don’t you like me?” The words came from Ki’s heart, and Charlie felt them as he burrowed in his neck.

“I like you.” Charlie croaked.

“I like you too.”

Did Ki just lick the skin on his neck?

Ignoring the tingling sensation, Charlie tried moving again. “Yes, we both like each other, so can we go back inside where we won’t freeze to death?”

“Sprained my ankle.” Ki weighed heavily on Charlie.

Using whatever fitness resources he could muster, Charlie half carried half dragged the drunken man, following the dog back to the warmly lit house.

First things first, Ki needed a shower. That poor man smelled like an uncomfortable mixture of cheap wine and Doritos. When Charlie finally dragged Ki over the threshold, he hauled him straight to the bathroom.

“You need a shower.” Charlie deposited him on the toilet and turned to leave.

The slurred whine came from behind. “Can’t raise my arms-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. Help me take my clothes off-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f.”

Oh, dear.