Lying in my bed, I couldn't stop thinking about the magic books in the library. I looked at the clock, it was nearly midnight. It's time.

I sat up in my bed and quietly slipped out of the covers. I tiptoed over to my dresser and grabbed my oil lamp, making sure to keep the flame low, so it wouldn't cast too much light and draw attention. Then I grabbed a small pouch to carry any useful books I found. 

I silently tiptoed up to the door and listened for any sounds in the hallway. All was quiet. I gently opened it ever so slightly. The hallway was still empty, and I couldn't hear any noise.

When I was sure the coast was clear, I stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind me. I knew the library was on the ground floor, but I was afraid of making too much noise on the stairs. So, I decided to take the long way around, through the kitchen and the back hall.

With each step, my heart raced faster, and my palms grew sweatier. I was so close to finally learning real magic.

Finally, I made it to the library. I pushed the heavy door open slowly and stepped inside. The usually lively and well-lit space was now transformed into a silent and mysterious place with shadows stretching far across the room. The light from the oil lamp I held in my hand barely made a dent in the darkness that surrounded me.

The musty smell of old paper filled my nostrils, and the sound of my footsteps echoed through the room. I couldn't help but feel a shiver of excitement run down my spine as I made my way to the section with the magic books.

I walked down the aisle, scanning the spines of the books. I quickly found some useful looking books, "Beginner's Guide to Magic," "The Art of Spellcasting." I quickly stuffed then into my pouch, already feeling their weight tugging at my shoulder. My pouch had limited space, so I had to choose wisely.

I continued down the aisle and spotted a leather-bound tome with gold lettering. "Advanced Magic for the Gifted." It might have been a bit early to read this book, but since I didn’t know when I would be back to take more, I just put it in my pouch as well. This is enough for now.

While walking back to the doors of the library, I could hear the sound of footsteps coming from the other side. Quickly killing the light of the oil lamp, I rushed behind a shelf in the back and hid. Looking through a gap in the books, I saw the doors opening slowly. My heart raced in my ears, and I held my breath, trying to be silent.

My eyes widened in surprise as I spied on the person stepping into the room. What is father doing here? I followed him with my eyes while he walked towards a wall in the library and pulled the head of one of the two eagle statues in front of the wall.

The sound of a mechanism chimed from the eagle, followed by a creaking as the wall opened up into a corridor. I wondered where the secret passage led to and made a mental note to explore it someday.

Even after the door closed again, I kept quiet for a moment longer until I could be sure that it was safe to go. When the silence of the library returned, I moved. I went quickly and quietly, retracing the path I took.

I walked back into my room, my heart racing from the close encounter with my father. I quickly shut the door behind me, taking deep breaths to calm myself down.

With the oil lamp in my left hand and the pouch in my right, I made my way over to the sofa and sat down, eager to dive into the magic books I had acquired. As I sat on the sofa with the book in my hands, I felt a rush of excitement and anticipation. I opened the first book and started reading.

The first pages of the book explained the magic system of the world and how to control the mana within one's body. I read, "Mana is the energy that is present in all things, and it is this energy that allows for the manifestation of magic. The amount of mana within a person's body varies from individual to individual, and can be trained through various methods. It is the control of this mana, that allows for successful casting of spells. To effectively use magic, one must learn to tap into the mana within their body and direct it towards the desired outcome."

I eagerly turned the page, eager to learn more about this mysterious and powerful force.

“The key to effectively using magic lies in visualization. You must visualize what you wish to achieve and will the mana within you to flow towards the manifestation of that vision. The stronger the visualization and the more focused the will, the more effective the spell will be. Remember, the magic you cast is intertwined with the very fabric of reality, and as you cast a spell, you are changing the world. This is what we call the phenomena of magic.”

I wondered what would happen if I combined my knowledge with the magic system I was learning. I thought about the process of creating a flame and how providing it with twice the oxygen would cause it to burn brighter. I wondered if that could be accomplished through magic. So many possibilities. I turned the next page.

The book talked about how mana could be used to control and manipulate the elements, as well as to heal and protect. However, the author warned that the use of magic should be done with caution and only in necessary situations. Misusing magic could have unintended consequences and harm both the user and others.

The author emphasized that mastering magic took practice, discipline, and control. One must first master their own mana, learning to control and direct it, before attempting to use magic to control the elements or other forms of magic.

The author also warned about the consequences of losing control over your own mana, “The mana within your body is finite, and as you cast spells, you are using up this energy. If you use too much mana too quickly, you run the risk of depleting your mana well, which could be dangerous. If you keep reaching for mana even though your mana well is empty, you will burn your life force instead. This is an extremely painful process and can lead to death. Other side effects of burning your life force are reduced life expectancy as well as bad health.”

As I read all the way through the night, night turning to dawn, I felt my view of the world around me expanding and growing. The book went on about how to start feeling your mana, all the different esoteric disciplines that existed and their uses, even showcasing a few methods to increase your mana well.

Before long it was already morning, as I sat hunched on the sofa with my full attention on the book’s last page, I read with drifting focus "Remember, Magic is not a tool to be used lightly. It is a power that should be wielded with care and caution. With the right training and discipline, it can be used for great good. But with recklessness and carelessness, it can bring great harm."

Closing the finished book, I glanced at the other two books on the table. Tomorrow, i thought to myself and hid the books under my mattress. I doubt Alaya will look for them there. As i went to hide the books, i caught myself in the mirror. Hunched shoulders, fizzled hair and darkened baggy eyes stared back. I look like shit, i thought to myself as i went to sleep.

I closed the book I had been reading all day long, feeling tired. I had been reading the two beginner books on magic for the most part of the last 3 days, trying to gleam every detail and understand every paragraph so as to not make any mistakes when it came to the real deal.

I had no supervision and that made it all the more dangerous. Sigh. After reading through all the potential dangers and issues that could arise when practicing magic I was a bit unsure if I should proceed.

From simply a little bit of pain, all the way to getting your hands blown up, the second book explained in excruciating detail why one should not start learning magic on their own. This must be why children only learned magic at the age of 12 with supervision in the academy.

But what was the point of getting a second chance and not using it? I didn’t want to be mediocre a second time around. Now that would be an awful fate. No! I wouldn’t let myself be stopped by fear and self-doubt. I can do this! I had an obvious advantage compared to these children. Memories of my past life! I was mentally pretty much almost 3 times that of their age. I should have had enough self-control that it posed no issue to control mana.

It was decided, I was going to try to feel my mana now! My eyes flashed with determination as I climbed on my bed and assumed my meditation stance. Both legs crossed over another, my hands clasped in front of me.

I closed my eyes and focused on the center of my body, my core, where the book explained my mana lies. I imagined it, a swirling mass of energy located around my solar plexus. I took a deep breath and visualized the energy flowing through my body. It took a moment, but I started to feel a warm, tingling sensation from my core spreading outwards. It filled me with a sense of power. It didn’t quite feel like electricity, it was more of a static spark, flowing and moving as I tried to will it, like a gentle stream of tingling water I could direct.

I willed the tingling stream of energy from my core to flow through my body, down my arms and into my hand as I visualized a small flame, flickering to light above my palm. I concentrated on this image, willing it into existence with my mana.

I opened my eyes as I felt the energy in my hand growing hotter while it escaped from my hand, my mana fueling the heat. Sweat beaded on my forehead as I focused, determined to make this work. I imagined feeding the flame more mana, just as the book had described, and I felt a rush of excitement as the flame grew stronger. My heart raced as I realized what I was doing. I'm using magic! I felt the mana draining quickly from my body, but I ignored it, too caught up in the thrill of the moment.

I kept the flame burning, feeling the heat on my skin, watching as it danced above my hand. I let out a laugh filled with wonder and excitement. This was it. This was what I had been looking for. The thrill of discovery and the potential for so much more. I opened my eyes, still feeling the heat in my hand, and I couldn’t help but smile. I was a mage, and the world was my playground.

Feeling the energy inside myself get smaller, I willed the flame to stop and visualized my mana going back into my core. Guided by my will, the mana reversed its path as the flame flickered out of existence. I tried to feel my core, prodding at it. It felt as though my mana well was a small pond that was half full. As I pondered the mana cost of using only a small flame, I could feel my eyebrows knit together in frustration. That used up way too much!

My mind wandered back to the pages of the book that I had pored over, detailing the methods for expanding the capacity of a mana well. The common thread throughout all of the techniques was clear: the more mana you used, the larger your mana well would become.

But as I considered the practicality of always performing magic each time my mana well was full, I couldn't shake the feeling of discontent. Doing so would certainly draw unwanted attention, and I could imagine the raised eyebrows and skeptical stares that would follow. Alaya would definitely forbid me from practicing magic.

Then, a sudden flash of inspiration struck. What if instead of performing acts of magic, I simply kept the energy from my core circulating continuously throughout my body? I recalled reading a cultivation manhua where the characters did something similar to increase their ‘dao’.

Eager to try out my new idea, I took a deep breath and assumed the meditative pose. Focusing my mind, I willed the energy from my core to flow outwards, but this time, I visualized it as a tiny, steady stream, like a small trickle of water flowing out of the pond and throughout my body.

At first, it was almost imperceptible, but I could sense its presence, like a gentle hum in the background of my consciousness. As I circulated the energy around my body, I watched with delight as it slowly dissipated, like a small flame burning out.

This, I realized, was the key to expanding my mana well. By continually circulating a small amount of mana, I would be able to train it in a way that was even more effective than by performing feats of magic. After all, I would never have a full mana well and also train the flow of my mana at the same time!

With excitement in my heart, I began my training, focusing on perfecting this new technique for growing my mana well.