If taking August’s baseball bat made him feel better, then he could have it. If anything, August would kind of like to see the massive demon try swinging it at someone, only to have it pass right through them like a ghost.

 “Answer my question, human.”

The voice snapped him out of this ridiculous vision. He looked up at Au’rul who was looking back down at him, expectantly. His dark eyes gleamed with something mysterious and just a little bit alluring. Oh god, what was the question again?

He must have been staring like an idiot for too long because Au’rul began speaking again, sounding only mildly pissed off. “I asked if you have anything to eat.”

“Oh, right. Umm…” August looked past the giant man to the embarrassingly small kitchen his apartment harbored. When was the last time he’d made a proper grocery shopping trip? Did he even have money for groceries right now? When was his last paycheck again?

“I can always eat you, if you don’t have anything else.”

August just about yelped and pushed past him into the kitchen and began rifling through his pantry and fridge, much in the same way that Au’rul had destroyed his bedroom a few minutes earlier. That’s right, demons do occasionally eat humans!!!

Do they like Spam, though??

He clutched the mysterious canned meat product in his hand and glanced back at Au’rul, who had helped himself to a chair at the small dining table and was now reading through the stack of mail that was piled there.

“You like meat, right??” August blurted out awkwardly.

The look he got back was almost absurd. “Yes.”

August shook his head and reached into the sink to clean off a plate to use. He set the can of Spam down on the counter while he washed the plate, but almost immediately, the can was snatched back up again.

“Hey, wait a second,” August began, but lost his train of thought as he watched the demon crush the sides of the can with his bare hands and squeeze the contents out into his mouth. It was repulsive to watch, but admittedly also a little sexy. “Oh… That works too.”

Au’rul chewed and swallowed the whole thing in one disgusting bite, and looked rather pensive after.

August set the plate back in the sink and hoped that the demon wouldn’t still be unsatisfied and decide to eat him instead. “You’re not really supposed to eat it straight out of the can.”

“Why not? I liked it.” Au’rul said, and threw the can onto the floor. Of course. “Do you have more?”

August narrowed his eyes at the trash now on the floor. He was apparently going to have to find a way to teach this demon household manners without pissing him off enough to become food. That could wait, though.

The next few minutes were spent watching Au’rul devour almost every single edible (and inedible) thing in the kitchen.

August sat at the table across from Au’rul and silently waited for him to be done eating. It was amazing just how much food the man could consume in one sitting. In the book, he had always been described as rather big, even by demon standards. Suddenly a thought occurred to him. “Wait here for a second.”

The demon seemed to pay no attention to him as he ran back into his room. A minute later, he came back out holding the largest shirt he owned. He still wasn’t sure it was quite big enough, but he was desperately hoping not to have to stare at those muscles any longer.

“Please put this on.” He held the shirt out. August hoped he didn’t sound as desperate as he felt.

As Au’rul swallowed the last bite of whatever he’d been eating, he grabbed the shirt and held it out to examine it. However, he was unable to identify the image printed on the front. “What’s this?” he asked.

“A shirt. You put it over your head, and it goes on your body.”

“No, what is this picture?”

“It’s hard to explain,” August said. “Don’t worry, this is what people wear around here. You’ll… blend in better.” In truth, he really didn’t want to explain the unfunny Gamers Don’t Die – They Respawn shirt he got from a secondhand store.

Au’rul looked a little skeptic but pulled the shirt over his head anyway. Fortunately it fit, despite still being way too tight for anything that could be called decency. August would have to go buy this guy his own clothing next time he was out, if he wanted to avoid public humiliation for the both of them.

August sat down at the table across from his esteemed guest and watched him pull awkwardly at the new piece of clothing for a moment. The way the tightness made him seem a little uncomfortable could almost be called cute. He quickly dropped that line of thought. “So, now that you’ve eaten, will you listen to what I was going to say earlier?”

Au’rul let go of the shirt and eyed him. “About what?”

August took a moment to decide exactly how to explain the situation to him without upsetting him all over again. If someone told him that he’d suddenly been dumped into a foreign world with no conceivable hope of ever getting back to his original one, he’d be pretty pissed off too! “About you,” he began. “You might not want to hear what I’m going to say, but—”

“Then don’t say it.” Au’rul said indignantly. “I still haven’t decided whether or not to eat you.”

August put his hands down on the table. “I have to say it! It would be deceiving you to not say it!” However, after he said this, he got scared again that this outburst was too much and lowered his voice. “Please just let me say it, and don’t get angry with me. None of this was done intentionally by me.”

Au’rul looked skeptical but nodded his ascent anyway.

“Earlier you mentioned wanting to kill whoever did this to you, but I’m not sure that’s what you should be focusing on. I’m not sure it was a person at all, rather than some kind of magical force,” August said. “I think what we really need to do is just try to figure out how to get you back home. And on that note, not only are you in a different location than you were before, you’re kind of in. A different time, and world perhaps. So, we might have a bit of a challenge on our hands.”

Au’rul looked at him blankly.

“But!” August continued, breaking the awkward silence once more. “I’m more than willing to help you do that! In whatever ways I can. So don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll get this figured out.”

Au’rul finally looked away from him, and down at the table. If August didn’t know better, he’d think the demon looked a little bit… sad.

“How can you be sure this is a different world?” he asked.

Caught slightly off guard by the question, August came up with the vaguest answer. “I’m sure you’re familiar with the concept of legends and stories?

Au’rul nodded.

“Well, that’s what you are in this world. A story that I was reading.”

“Historical records?”

“Not exactly.” This guy’s skull was incredibly thick! “It definitely was a made-up story.” After one look at Au-rul’s face, however, he decided to add on, “Not that that makes it any less real for you! It’s just, in this world, your world is made up. Maybe this world only exists in stories in your world as well.”

Without a word, Au’rul stood up and headed towards the very small, single window that looked out onto the street below. He looked out it for a moment in what August would describe as “wistful gazing”. Was he okay?

“Like I said,” August continued, standing up and slowly following to where Au’rul stood. “I’ll help you get back. I’m just as worried about this situation as you are.”

As if to save him from saying any more comforting words in that moment, his phone rang from where it still lay on his bedside table. He cursed quietly and ran back into his room to pick it up. The call was from his sister.

“Thank god you’re calling, I could really use your help with someth—”

“Shut up about your nerd shit for a second, I’m in serious trouble!” she said. “There’s some random lady in my apartment! She looks like a fucking alien!”